BERRY WINTER EDITION
by SLYSWN
Summary: Holidays with a berry twist. Yes its another UKEICHI collection. What's not to love? : White Reindeer and Reluctant Santa (1/23/14 A ShiroxIchi/GrimmxIchi oneshot now COMPLETE! YAY!) Next time...Mistletoe Madness
1. DESTINEDASS P REPELLENT

What the hell is wrong with you? Why the hell are you starting another collection when you never even updated **Scattered Shots **not to mention all the in-completed fics? Well…aside from being scatter brained the bunnies appear and who ever bounces higher, louder is the one that wins!

So that said I invite you to the DESTINED UKE COLLECTION.

**(A mixture of ramble drabbles and ficlets)**

()()

_**Ichigo: Don't call me a fuckin' uke unless ya got the brains and C*CK to back it up!**_

SLY: Now go and let all your favorite semes out of your closet

_**Ichigo flushing red and grumbling under his breath but nevertheless walks towards his closet, bracing himself for the inevitable.**_

()()()

DISLCAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE NUMBER ONE UKE OR THE SEMES THAT CHASE HIM! KUBO-SENSEI OWNS IT ALL!

WARNINGS: AU, CANON/AU combos, CRACK-CANON, OOC-NESS, LANGUAGE, GRAMMAR, PUNCTUATION, FLUFF, DIALOGUE, CITRUS BITS SCATTERED DOWN THE LINE, ALL UKE ICHIGO ALL THE TIME!

A/N In no way am I making fur or intending to be a jackass. I myself am not some model beauty-I've got a bit of chunk and…

Well anyway it's fiction…crack random fiction…I don't mean to harm or insult anyone. Just meant to entertain. ~SLY~

CRACKISH-DRABBLE-FICLET

EXTRA WARNINGS: (CRACK-TACTULAR ENDING)

FOR ANE-CHAN EMBRACING EVEN THE WORST OF WHAT SLY HAS TO OFFER!

#1

_**Ass Pounder Repellant **_

_**(MANYxICHIGO)**_

_**It came to him while he was sitting at the dinner table with his family one night.**_

_**Ichigo bolted out of his chair like someone had lit a firecracker under his ass and raced up to his bedroom-a call of 'Thanks for dinner' shouted before he slammed the door shut.**_

_**A grin on his face and now in the privacy of his own room-the orange berry teen was so excited he almost wanted to do a victory dance.**_

_**Only he was never quite alone-what with Rukia sleeping in his closet and all.**_

'_**Really you think after she confessed to Inoue that-**_

_**The orange berry shook his head. Whatever he wouldn't let Rukia's presence ruin his moment of pure joy!**_

_**Reaching into the bottom hand drawer in his dresser he pulled out an item that he hadn't used in awhile-better known as a diary.**_

_**Or manly terms-a journal.**_

_**Quickly flipping to the last few blank pages Ichigo scribbled down his plan. The grand plan to get all the uber ass pounders/would be ass pounders to stay away from him forever.**_

_**All he needed was a simple repellent.**_

_**No that would take too long.**_

_**All he needed was to make himself undesirable, unattractive, unfuckable.**_

_**Ichigo's super mega genius plan to keep the SEMES away from his destined ultra uber UKE ass forever more was to become fat.**_

_**No not fat-obese. He would put on so much damn weight that not even old geezers would want to look at him.**_

_**Yes yes it was a grand plan if he ever did say so himself.**_

_**And he would put it into action starting tomorrow.**_

_**()()**_

_**Now one might ask why a desirable orange berry hero such as himself would go to such lengths to keep a few horny men away.**_

_**Well A) It wasn't just a few-try a couple 100-course only about 10 or 12 are note worthy but—anyway and B) **_

_**Well it was kind of difficult to get anything in life accomplished when he constantly had people chasing after his wonderful GRADE A Ass.**_

_**At first Ichigo thought he could handle it.**_

_**A grope or glance or two. Not so bad.**_

_**Then he set foot in soul society and well…**_

_**Things changed.**_

_**Allies and Enemies alike at the end of the day when it was all said**____**and done-they were they same….**_

_**()()**_

_**And during the war…**_

Ichigo urged Inoue to go and watch Nel before making his way back to the bloody and battered mess in the sand.

Better known as his rival.

There was not much Ichigo could do but at the same time he didn't feel right just leaving Grimmjow laying here like this so.

So he knelt down in order to inspect the damage when-

the damn blue haired Espada had a vice like grip on Ichigo's arm-refusing to let the orange haired vizard go-

"If you really wanna make yourself useful to me then you should you should wrap your lips around my cock and make the last few minutes of my pathetic existence worth while Shini-no _Kurosak_i."

Now Ichigo wasn't going to protest exactly but-

They were at war and it really wasn't the time to-

Hands were on his hair, ripping, pulling forcing him away from the blue haired Espada-

Ichigo wasn't even able to say much of anything as warm and surprisingly soft lips captured his own-

Course his captor then had to ruin it by practically tearing a hole into his bottom lip-

Pulling away so he could grin at the orange berry

"I realize I was a lil' rude earlier-always been a bad habit of mine-but what say you and I make up for bad first impressions eh pet?"

He could hear Grimmjow snarling and no doubt choking on his own blood from behind-could hear as the blue haired Espada tried in vain to get to his feet and-

Well Ichigo wasn't really sure exactly-I mean he wasn't a complete moron. He had quickly gathered that there was no real love lost between hollows but-

"Stay down pussy cat-don't make me put another hole in your stomach."

Ichigo struggled to break free from the hold Nnoitra had on him-Grimmjow was really dying-he could hear the blue haired Espada's breaths shortening-could feel-

Ichigo frowned.

Since when could he sense spiritual energy?

Well aside from Kenpachi's which was so damn strong it was-

Wait! It was here now.

What the hell?

Well to be honest Ichigo was rather happy for Kenpachi's appearance-not that he'd admit it out loud exactly but-

()

Aside from the obvious Ulquiorra had been a rather strange guy-in an interesting sort of way.

That unwavering green gaze of his and that monotone voice-yes it had in fact grated on Ichigo's ears/nerves but at the same time-

As Ichigo was easily dodging the 4th's Espada's attacks-he couldn't help but note just how tempting it would be to reach out and touch the man's/creatures ears and tail-he wouldn't tug exactly-just a soft little stroke-er maybe not a stroke though he was a little curious about-

Damn hollow-he was turning Ichigo into a pervert!

The cries of Kurosaki-kun don't die and whatever ever other cliché crap the princess babbled reach the orange berrys' ears and pulled him back to where his mind should be.

Right he had to defeat Ulquiorra and protect Inoue.

Damn shame. He would love to just knock the green eyed male out and bring him home to play with-sure it might be a bit of a challenge to get Grimmjow and Nnoitra to agree to not kill him but-

An image of serious gray eyes and a goatee came to Ichigo's mind just then.

Right there was another Espada out there-he seemed like a sensible type-he could keep 4, 5, 6 in line.

It would be grand they could share his brand new King Size bed and-

"Kurosaki kun!"

"Itsugo look out!"

Oh wait fantasizing about the yummy Espada would have to come later because right now he had women to protect-er a girl and a baby who could also transform into a woman er…uh right uh-

()()()

Many hours-days-months later and finally the main event.

Yes the main event where….

His battle against Aizen. When the evil uber overlord had suddenly ceased all attacks, stilled Ichigo's weapon-and then brought the confused teen's body flush against his own.

And brought his lips to his ear and whispered "_I'll agree to surrender to Soul Society on the account that you surrender yourself to me."_

()

Ichigo shuddered involuntarily at the memory and the secret thought that he had actually considered the man's words-well up until Kenpachi appeared in his uber tarzan meets shinigami sort of way.

Grin as crazed as ever the captain from the 11th division had sent the evil uberlord flying and then stated in that guttural rasp of his "Ichigo's ass is MINE! And the only one he'll be surrendering to is me."

Naturally Aizen hadn't taken to kindly to a wild and uncouth ruffian like Kenpachi getting in the way of his 'seducing the wonder ryoka boy' so he had called upon his two subordinates and ordered them to-

Well actually had never found out-what with being knocked out by a strange purple mist.

But when he had woken up to find himself in-well not hell exactly but was there really a difference.

He'd heard the tales of 12th division and the last thing he wanted was to be examined/studied/frisked or whatever by the creepy doc-

Ichigo's train of thought had abruptly halted at the sight of a rather exotic looking man with honey golden eyes and skin and navy blue locks which were slightly damp as though the man had just stepped out of the shower.

Ichigo refused to let his eyes travel any lower than the man's neck.

()()

Ichigo shook his head

It was best not to think of what Mayuri had almost done to him that day in the lab-better to think of Inoue, yes Inoue and how she and Ishida had saved him right before-

Ichigo scrunched his face-'No don't don't-

But the damn image of Mayuri coming towards him with that toy-familiar creepy grin on his face.

Ichigo shook his head more fiercely this time-banishing the image from his mind and bringing Ishida to the surface.

Yes Ishida was his friend-a friend who had pulled Ichigo to the side while Inoue was chatting at a mile a minute with Rukia about bunnies and past lives and granola) and presented the orange berry with a pair of lacy pink panties-

Which of course Ichigo didn't think much on-The Quincy had always been a little weird and

"You'll wear them for me on my birthday won't you Kurosaki?"

WTF?

Ichigo hadn't even had time to respond what with Chado and Renji appearing and all.

The tattoeed pineapple and his shaggy-haired friend had knocked Ishida to the side and had taken turns poking, prodding and checking for injuries.

"Can't go dying on me Ichigo-not when I've finally worked up the courage to ask you to be-

"Be completely honest Ichigo. Do you think you're up for a threesome?"

Again WTF?

Ichigo was about to open his mouth when a pink blur better known as Yachiru appeared.

"Nah uh can't have that. We have to vote first."

The berry, pineapple and shaggy dog er teen had turned to the pixie haired vice captain who was happily munching away on candy.

"Vote?"

()()()

"It's quite simple. You want Ichi-prove it!"

Yachiru grabbed another piece of candy out of the large bowl sitting on top of the table in the Shinigami Woman's Association center and passed the torch-er um microphone over to Nanao.

The bespectacled woman unrolled a long strip of parchment and addressed the entire room (shinigami/hollow/vizard alike)

Everyone swept dropped when only 15 words came out of her mouth.

"You want to claim Kurosaki Ichigo then all you have to do is catch him."

The competitors were ready to jump from there seats when Nemu stopped them.

"Without weapons or potions or transformations. Only your speed is allowed in this competition."

"Even if you don't win I'll have something special that you're sure to enjoy," Rangiku chimed in with a perverted gleam in her powder blues.

Ichigo honestly didn't know how he always wound up in these situations nor did he care-

He did the only thing he could-

HE RAN!

()()()

In the end no one had won because old man Yamamoto had shown up and put an end to it.

And just when Ichigo thought he could sleep peacefully night she had appeared like a demon in the night.

Really they should put a leash and muzzle on that girl because for all her bright eyes and rosy cheeks she was 100 percent evil.

"Strawberry sluts don't belong in my world!"

Where Hinamori had gotten the gun Ichigo had no idea nor did he really care since he was far more interested in getting as far as possible from the not so angelic girl-

Backing up into his borrowed bedroom wall-searching for an escape-

A blinding flash of white-or was it crimson-?

Ichigo didn't know but he had some how found himself-

()()()

With Urahara-san in his face-the man was so damn close-Ichigo could practically taste his breakfast.

"Welcome back Kurosaki-san. Did you have a good journey?"

Ichigo hadn't really felt like asking what had happened-he much rather just dress and return home.

And he had done just that.

()()()

Things had been quiet for a while until the unexpected happened.

What the hell was Byakuya doing on his bed?

The noble man looked as serious as ever-voice as cold as ever.

"I've been waiting for you."

Of course the orange haired teen believed at that moment that he surely had to be dreaming because there was absolutely no way-

"Don't just stand there in the door way Kurosaki Ichigo. Come to me."

Um what the fuck?

Now in Ichigo's defense it was not like he had never considered this scenario before.

Actually he had considered it quite a few times.

Since hello Byakuya was a looker.

That fine glossy black hair partially held back by the fancy hair piece, those silver-violet eyes shining with something other than annoyance, disgust or simple tolerance, the vanilla cream toned skin, a shade lighter than even Rukia's, the equally fancy scarf and those hands-Byakuya's hands and the way his delicate digits wielded such a-

Ichigo shook his head.

It was a nice surprise-more than nice really but-

"Byakuya what are you doing here?"

Ichigo had never received a verbal response-

But he had indeed received a physical one.

()()

Not that he hadn't enjoyed it when the proud Kuchiki had abandoned his noble act and fucked his berry brains out but-

Right at the peak of 10th orgasm in one night Keigo just had to drop by and announce to whoever was listening.

Which quite obviously meant all of semes hoping to claim the orange berrys ass-

"Ichigo might have been deflowered but he still isn't officially claimed! So come on over and claim your berry!"

Or something equally embarrassing and unhelpful.

Ichigo didn't remember exactly-didn't want to remember.

But one after another the SEMES had come and fucked the berry UKE into a state of unconciousness and even then they hadn't stopped.

It wasn't until his two sisters came at the perverted horndogs with their magical soccer ball and kitchen utensils that the proud SEMES had fled.

()()()

That had been 120 days ago…

So it was only a matter of time before they'd appear again and Ichigo's ass couldn't take it. So on with the plan…

()()()

Forcing himself to shove mountains of fat and grease and sugar and carbs down his throat was no easy task. Forcing himself to stop going to the gym, stop attending school, stop doing much of anything besides lock himself inside his room and watch as he packed on the pounds.

It had taken 4 months and how ironic it was that he would finally decide to step outside of his room one day before his birthday.

Wobbling down the stairs-it was kinda hard to walk around with all this extra weight on his body.

The house was quiet.

Goat face must be off buying porn and Yuzu and Karin must be at school.

Tis a grand moment for Ichigo. He can enjoy the peace and

quiet.

Just then a smell-a wonderful smell reaches his nose-he is drawn towards the kitchen

()()()

He is not alone after all.

"Mornin' Ichigo!"

What the fuck is Shinji doing in his kitchen?

No scratch that what the fuck is the blond man doing wearing goat faces bathrobe, Yuzu's hair clips and Karin's slippers in his kitchen. 

Why the hell is Shinji calmly sitting at the table with a cup of coffee, a plate of pancakes, a newspaper in hand?

"What do you want Hirako?"

The blond pouts. "Is that any way to talk to your husband to be Ichigo?"

Ichigo's brow twitches. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

'Wait don't tell me-don't fuckin' tell-

()()

The orange berry never got to finish that train of thought since the blond vizard had picked him up with amazing strength and whisked him away-

Well more like back up the stairs but anyway

()()()

In the end Ichigo's plan had failed because the stupid grinning blond vizard had pounded into his eternal uke ass so vigorously that the pounds that Ichigo had gained quickly melted away like butter or something equally cliché.

And the berry and his seme lived happily ever-well maybe not so much since the other semes still appeared from time to time and now to make matters worse Ichigo is with child and all of the semes are fighting over who the real father is and-

"**HAPPY HOLIDAYS"**

**THE END**

()()()

Ichigo: What the fuck was that? Are you kidding me? That was…what a-you're retarded.

SLY Petting the berry's kitten ears: Love you too Ichi-brat


	2. DRABBLETS

Disclaimer: I've never cared much for rules or structure how could I possibly be Kubo-sensei. I'M NOT!

A/N Labeling what is written below drabbles is probably in accurate but their not really ficlets either so…shrugs maybe drablets?

Dedicated to: The mountains of notebooks I have collected over the years, lol

Warnings: AU, AU/Canon combo, OOC, language, spelling, punctuation, etc

#2

Stretch (AU)

(implied IshidaxIchigo)

()()

**It was a rule he had set for himself-try every type of exercise at least once. This month was Yoga.**

**It looked like a fairly large studio from what Ichigo could tell. He saw no point in waiting outside anymore especially when he could being inside an air conditioned building which would be a sure fire way to escape the heat for awhile.**

**()()()**

**Ichigo had always been pretty flexible so he figured Yoga wouldn't be that complicated.**

**()()**

**The classroom itself was about the size of his living room back home, perhaps slightly larger.**

**There were only 12 yoga mats, 13 including the instructor who had yet to show her face.**

**Ichigo figured there wouldn't be any harm in doing some basic stretches so he found a spot towards the back of the room and began.**

**()()**

"Kurosaki you seem tense."

"I'm not tense."

"You know they often say that somewhere in a lie the truth is hidden and if one digs hard enough they will find the truth."

**Ishida was weird. Ishida had always been totally and completely weird.**

**Ichigo just didn't know what to make of the guy.**

**He was so completely different from everyone else Ichigo had ever known. The black-haired teen had this way of somehow always knowing exactly where Ichigo would be or where he was headed.**

**Some people might call this sort of behavior stalking-which was ridiculous!**

**While Ishida might be weird but the guy wasn't that warped (well with the exception of his wardrobe!)**

**But hey who the hell was Ichigo to judge or tell a person how they should and shouldn't dress?  
**

**He himself enjoyed wearing the tightest pants possible. **

**()()**

**Ichigo glanced down at his watch.**

**The instructor was 15 minutes late.**

'_**Well I guess after today there's no point in returning here.'**_

**Ichigo furrowed his brow at the sudden weight pressing down on his back. Followed by a cool breath by his ear. He felt his face grow warm.**

"Bad things happen to those that spend their free time daydreaming, Kurosaki."

**()()() ~ ()()()**

**#3 (AU)**

**Apron**

(Implied AizenxIchigo)

The apron was really quite fitting on the boy. Minus all but the color which was a garish green clashing horribly with his vibrant orange hair. It would be much better if it were in a deep midnight blue color.

"More coffee, sir?"

Ah the boy was now in front of him. Wearing a poor imitation of a smile on his face.

Aizen wanted to laugh.

Instead he reached for the waiters' hand and brought it to his lips.

Ah soft as silk, just as he had predicted.

"What the hell?"

The boy sounded panicked. It was quite cute.

Aizen did not feel like making a scene and so he released the boy's hand and finished off the last of his coffee.

The boy was twitching, looking like a cornered animal in an alleyway or something.

_**Or something indeed!**_

"Will you be having anything else this evening sir," his teeth were gritted, fists clenched at his sides.

Aizen Sousuke was highly amused.

He decided right then and there that the boy would be his new muse.

()()()

#4 (Canon/AU combo)

(Implied RenjixIchigo)

**Pants**

It's bad enough that the arena is already jam-packed with sweaty bodies but it's absolute torture for Renji to look but not touch his berry friend.

Ichigo is hot almost sinfully so and the way the black leather clings to his ass like a second skin-the tattooed redhead can barely keep himself from drooling.

He feels someone tugging on his jacket and looks down to find Ichigo's younger sister, Karin giving him the 'You hurt Ichi-nii and I will hurt you' eye.

Renji does not plan on hurting Ichigo except in ways that probably can't be helped. But he will try to make it a pleasurable experience for his younger friend.

Renji has had his fair dose of men and women back in Soul Society.

Hopefully if all goes well, he'll have Ichigo under him before the night is up.

But for now a quick trip to the bathroom stall to relieve himself from this not so little bulge in his pants is what he needs to do.

()()()

Bottom Notes: Eh it is what it is, scraps really written 2 years ago. Moving on…

**Coming next time: # 5 SnowBerry**

**A RenjixIchigo oneshot**

_All through out his life Renji has heard the tale of the abominable SnowBerry but he's never met the mystical being until now. (Twist spoof on the abominable snowman)_


	3. SNOW BERRY PART ONE

**Disclaimer: The hour when the pineapple arrives has come. And yet SLY does still not own BLEACH. Kubo-sensei does. And we love him for it don't we ladies/gents?**

_SLY: Before we begin would you like to say a few words boys?_

_Renji: About fucking time you let me claim Ichigo's ass good and proper._

_Ichigo: You're just sour because Lady Sly likes to write you as a Grade A Pillow Biter completely ignoring your closet!Seme like nature._

_SLY: Except for this time around._

GRINS

Warnings: AU, OOC, One-shot, Language, Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation, RenjixIchigo, Others, RukiHime, slight parody/crack spin on the abominable snowman.

For Ane-chan because I agreed that it was high time I wrote a PinexBerry fic and so here it is.

_Summary: All through out his life Renji has heard the tale of the abominable __**SnowBerry**__ but he's never met the mystical being until now._

**# 5 **

**SNOWBERRY**

"It is said that every winter way up high in the mountains the abominable snowberry will appear and kill any and all in its path. But you don't have to worry about that if you're a good child who listens and respects your elders."

"It is also said that the snowberry is like over 100 years old and has shocking streak of orange in its pure white fur but if that's the case then I've already seen him, my neighbors cat."

The classroom erupted with laughter and 11 year old Renji basked in the attention his school mates were giving him, chuckling at his own 'greatness' before his sensei came over to his desk with eyes narrowed.

"Since you seem to have so much free time cracking jokes Abarai-kun you can spend the rest of your free time with me today after school in detention."

Renji let out a groan and once more the class erupted with laughter but this time the redhead wasn't joining in.

()()()

A year later at age 12 Renji was staying with his family up in a cabin near the mountains.

It was late in the night when the redhead heard the inhuman scream echoing within the distance. But no one else panicked so Renji figured he didn't have any reason to panic either.

He pulled his sleeping bag more tightly around his frame and drifted back off into dream land.

()()

It didn't last long-a little more than a hour had passed when the cabin door flew open and a man who Renji recognized as the log cabin owner screamed at the top of his lungs

"Run, run for your lives it's the abominable snowberry!"

Renji barely had time to register what was being said before his mother gripped him by his arm and dragged him out of his sleeping bag, out the door and out to the car, demanding that his father drive as fast as humanely possible.

More curious then scared Renji looked out the window with the hope that he might catch a glimpse of the monstrous snowberry but the only thing to greet his sight was a heavy set man running out into the middle of the night in nothing but his long johns, pink furry boots and a lantern.

"Look it's old St. Nick taking a holiday."

Unfortunately for our prime redhead his mother did not find his comment amusing. She smacked Renji on the head and ordered the boy to face front.

Renji scowled before eventually settling down and falling back to sleep.

()()()

At age 13 Renji had dragged one of his best buds to the ice-skating ring-he was hoping to catch a glimpse of his dream girl and possibly maybe ask her out and he figured having a wingman would bring him luck.

()()

Nel had arrived from Russia a few short weeks ago and the moment Renji laid his eyes on her out-of-this-world-seagreen locks and hazel eyes he knew that she had to be his bride.

"Renji I don't think this is a good idea I mean you saw what happened when that kid from class B made a move on her-a shudder-the guy has to drink out of straw for the next ten years you don't want the same thing to happen to you do you?"

Renji rolled his eyes, continued to tie his skates and set the record straight.

"You're getting your stories confused man-Omaeda has to drink out of a straw because he tried to grab Soifon-sensei's ass he never came anywhere near my girl."

"Really well then how come sh-

"Shh here she comes!"

Renji hastily ran his fingers through his combed hair and adjusted his clip on tie before leaping out from behind the bushes in order to greet his dream girl.

"Afternoon Nel, fancy meeting you here."

The girl blinked repeatedly before closing the distance between them wrapping her arms around his neck and then let out an excited shout "You've come back to me!"

Renji, although slightly confused decided to just enjoy the moment for what it was. His dream girl was hugging him and he hadn't even properly introduced himself."

As he was about to open his mouth and ask Nel the question that he had been dying to ask her, a crowd started to gather. Renji recognized the group to be some of his classmates from school.

"Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her kiss her!"

Renji had never kissed a girl so he felt a little nervous but Nel wasn't just a girl…she was his dream girl.

()()

But as the redhead leaned in with puckered lips the seagreen haired girl pushed him back "What are you doing? You can't kiss Nel, Nel is not a boy!"

There was dead silence. Followed by laughter.

Renji again felt confused.

Nel thought he was-his dream girl thought he was-

The seagreen haired girl was giggling with a group of her friends now and not knowing what else to do Renji ran.

()()()

"Don't take it personally man I here she's a little unstable, doesn't have all her brain cells and seems to mistake every redhead for her long lost brother."

Renji didn't give a damn what Shuhei was trying to tell him-nor did he care.

He had far more horrific things to deal with at the moment.

Like proving to half the school that he was not gay.

Of all things why would she-

"See I guess she had this on again off again incestuous fling thing with her half brother but she was brought up to believe that that sort of behavior was a sin and-

As Shuhei continued to ramble on and on Renji (in a bout of desperation) brought the cigarette liter he had snatched from his mother when her back was turned up to his hair and watched as the tiny flame burned the brilliant cursed red locks.

()()()

Unfortunately for our sweet but simple cherry pineapple rumors had followed him from grade school all the way up til his highschool years-but of course by that time Renji didn't give a damn what anyone thought of him-well for the most part anyway.

()()()

5 days away from his 19th birthday an older male approached Renji in an alley way on his way home from work with a simple no-strings attached proposal.

It wasn't an unpleasant experience exactly but it could have been much more enjoyable if the guy hadn't been such an arrogant jackass-correction an arrogant jackass who had assumed that he, Renji, would be the one take the submissive role-

As fucking IF!

()()()

Reddish-brown eyes blazing with rage Renji had quickly put the prick in his place!

()()()

Renji held the phone away from his ear as his long time best female friend laughed at him.

"Shut up Rukia!"

_**The giggling continued, "I'm sorry Renji but you can't really blame me I mean it's funny that a guy like you constantly has to prove himself."**_

"Damn you Rukia! Not everyone is like your brother."

"_**Byakuya nii-sama? What does he have to do with anything?"**_

Renji did not like the teasing tone in Rukia's voice just then, _**"Unless could it be that you have some kind of crush on Byakuya nii-sama?"**_

"NO! Damn you I'm not-look I don't want another guy okay-so just drop it!"

"_**Sure, sure whatever you say Renji, you know how I **__**hate**____to get you all flustered-I'll leave that for your fanboys."_

"Damn it Rukia just stop I'm not-arggg I'm not fucking flustered okay just drop it!"

"_**I don't know what you're getting so upset for Renji but anyway Byakuya-nii-sama is away on a business trip and won't return til next week but I'm sure U-**_

"Don't even think about it!"

"_**Relax I was simply going to point out that Urahara is always willing to offer lessons to-**_

"Shut up damn you just shut up!"

"_**Fine, fine I'll stop."**_

"Thank you."

"_**You know Renji I-**_

"What? What damn it what is it now?"

"_**Nii-sama always says that its more fun to switch it up rather than give into to the same old routine every now and then-course he still prefers to be in control (like most men) but I know for a fact that if you tickle his neck a certain way he'll melt into your arms. But of course it won't last long-it never does since he's a Kuchiki and Kuchik's are bred for pouncing!"**_

"Pounc-look I don't want to know this so can you please just stop!"

"_**I'm just trying to tell you that there are pros and cons to both sides and you really shouldn't knock it until you-**_

"STOP! JUST PLEASE STOP IT! I'm not gay I don't want your brother or any other guy. I'll-I swear I'll become a monk or something."

He could hear Rukia snorting on the other end.

"_**Always so over the top dramatic, sometimes I wonder where you're hiding your va-jay-jay at."**_

"RUKIA SHUT UP!"

"_**Fine I promise I'll shut up if you admit it."**_

"Admit what?" Renji snarled losing his patience. Typical Rukia she loved to drive him to near insanity and beyond.

"_**Admit that you liked shoving your cock into another man's ass."**_

"I-I-that was only be-

"_**Rukia-1, Renji 0."**_

Damn bitch was celebrating.

"Yeah yeah so I lost it once and stuck my cobra where the fuckin' sun don't shine and what?"

"_**And you loved it and were curious to see how-**_

"I was not-I told you to shut the fu-

Rukia was no doubt rolling on the floor with laughter now.

"Enough already just tell me where and when you need me to be there."

Rukia was getting married-well it was a 3rd wedding actually. The previous two had been major flops. The first had been an arranged marriage to a guy who was like 15 years older than her and the second was rather unstable in more ways than one-eventually wound up killing himself.

The third time around his raven-haired friend was marrying another young woman, she called her Hime-chan.

"_**We expect you to meet us up in the snow capped mountains. The color theme for the wedding is white, gold and blue. Make sure you bring a pair of boots for the occasion-also as for a gift I don't want anything cliché or last minute-think out side the box-make sure it's grand but not over priced. I'm thinking a baby lamb-a cute one. Think you can manage that?"**_

Of all the ridiculous things his friend could ask for she wanted a lamb?

"Where the hell am I supposed to get one of those?"

Rukia continued on as though she hadn't even heard Renji_** "I will not have you ruin my wedding day Abarai-! Do whatever you have to do to get me what I want and then bring your ass up to white moon lodge in 3 days."**_

()()()

"Whatever you do don't go getting lost in the mountains now Abarai-kun."

Szayel Grantz, Renji's downstairs neighbor. To sum the guy up in a few simple words: flamboyant, perverted and wore way too much damn pink than could be considered healthy in his wardrobe.

Often more than not the pink-haired male would invite Renji to one of nightly soiree's telling the redhead things like

'_You'll never think of lab rats or hamsters the same way again when you see what we do with them."_

And Renji in turn would often shudder in horror and disgust, race up to his own apartment and dead bolt the door.

He did not want to even imagine what his neighbor may or may not be doing with rodents!

And yet…

'_**I don't know what the hell I was thinking asking this guy of all people to house sit while I'm gone,'**__ thought Renji. _

The redhead finished zipping up his last suitcase before turning to the pink-haired male with a final warning.

"Don't break anything and for that matter don't do anything funny like soil my bedsheets or something. On second thought just stay out of my bedroom!"

Szayel looked far too amused for Renji's liking.

"Honestly Abarai-kun I'm almost beginning to think that you doth protest too much and secretly do wish for me to christen your bedsheets."

Renji face turned so damn bright red-his hair seemed pale in comparison.

"Just make sure Zabi and Maru get fed twice a day and what ever you do don't kill the Hydrangeas, it's a gift from a friend."

Szayel draped his candy cane striped jacket over the back of Renji's lather brown couch before sitting down with that natural uber dramatic flair of his. "I promise I'll be a good boy just for you Abarai-kun although I certainly don't have any control over what my subconscious might do while I'm sleeping."

Renji so did not like the glint in the other male's amber eyes. He went a bit pale at Szayel's words '_Maybe I should just tell Rukia that I don't think I'll be able to m-_

"You know Abarai-kun or perhaps I should start calling you Ren? Yes _Ren_, since we're officially best friends now I think-a pause-

Szayel had moved off the couch and was now making his way over to Renji-coming too damn close for comfort-

Amber eyes darkening, voice dropping an octave or two-

Renji noted absent-mindedly that his breath smelled like peppermint and boysenberry.

"How about a goodbye kiss?"

That was the final straw!

The pineapple redheads face twisted into a snarl-his eyes blazed with fury!

All common sense and good manners leaving him Renji swung his fist almost hard enough to break Grantz' jaw-sending the older male flying over the couch and on to the floor.

He would have panicked at the sight of the small trickle of blood running down the pink-haired males' face if Szayel didn't have that stupid perverted grin on is face.

Renji pulled his shameless neighbor to his feet and set him back on the couch, ordering Szayel to stay while he went into the bathroom to get the first aid kit.

But as Renji turned to leave Grantz gripped him by the arm, holding him in place. "Who needs a bandage when I have you, _Ren_."

Renji felt his face grow hot with anger once more and snatched his arm back. "Don't fuckin' touch me or I swear the next time you do will be your-

Amber eyes danced behind designer flames "Yes Abarai-kun please I beg you to unleash your inner beast on me. I've been a bad boy and I need to be taught a lesson," a sigh "It's been far too long since I've been properly disciplined."

Renji crossed his arms and the glare on his face turned positively murderous-or something equally dramatic.

_One of these days Rukia would come over and find squad cars stationed outside of his apartment and when the raven-haired woman asked what happened Renji would announce that he had snapped and killed his neighbor._

_Rather than being surprised or disturbed by the announcement Rukia would probably break out the champagne bottles and throw a fucking party-a drunken laugh issuing from her coral pink painted lips _

'_Love never hurt so damn good' or 'You couldn't stand the thought that he might leave you for another and so you killed him-ensuring you'd be together forever. How romantic.'_

_And at the funeral Szayel's brother Illfort would put on a wig and tell Renji that _

'_His soul lives on in me and so I am yours to have and hold and-_

_There was something wet on his neck-it tickled a bit and-_

"_What the hell? Get off me!"_

_Szayel had apparently taken it upon himself to turn Renji's neck into some type of snack or something while he had been lost in thought._

_Bastard!_

_Not caring if it made him look like a complete asshole for the second time that morning Renji's curled fist met Szayel's stupid face and the pink-haired male went flying once more._

_()()()_

Fearing he had gone too far when a simple trickle of blood had turned into a puddle-only to be knocked to his own ass as a grinning Szayel pulled him down by his ankles and pounced!

Renji was having none of that-so be it! If Szayel insisted on constantly harassing him well then the older male would pay the price.

()()

For the record Renji found absolutely no pleasure whatsoever in wrestling Szayel down and shoving his King Cobra balls deep inside his annoying downstairs neighbor.

He didn't give two shits if Grantz came or not-didn't even think about how he had become hard enough in order to fuck the perverted pink-haired male in the first place.

()()()

"You know _Ren_, I've got to say that you really should let the cobra out more often-think it would release some of that obvious tension y-

"Shut the fuck up Grantz! This changes nothing! You only wound up like this because there's no way inn hell I'd ever let you or anyone else for that matter turn me into a GD pillow biter."

"So crude, really I think it's better to just enjoy the moment rather than-

"Shut up! Just hurry up and come or whatever-I have things to do."

Szayel pouted. "Here I was gracious enough to present my perfectly shaped, waxed and naturally lubricated ass to you and all you give me in return is grade a bitchiness." 

"Fuck you Grantz I'm not the bitch here!"

The familiar glint- no this was slightly different-darker-appeared behind designer glasses, "Correction Ren, you're not the bitch as of yet but given some time-

Oh that was it!

With out warning Renji ripped his King cobra out of his stupid, shameless next door neighbor, zipped up his pants and stormed out of the living room.

()()()

He stood in front of the full-length mirror and studied himself.

Renji concluded what he always knew. There was absol-fucking lutely nothing girly about him-except for maybe his hair but he didn't have any control over that.

When he was younger he often complained to his mother saying how he hated the fact that his hair was so damn girly.

His mother had often responded by giggling behind her hand before saying_ "Well your father always said he was the reincarnated King of the Apes, so perhaps he passed it on to you."_

Aside from a few freak outs while growing up including but not limited to setting the locks on fire-Renji eventually sucked it up and dealt with it. Drawing attention to the rest of his features-with bright and bold tattoos inspired by one of his child hood heroes from an anime-they made him look fierce and manly and-

There was a knock on the door pulling Renji from his thoughts-

"Come on Ren, you can't stay locked in the bathroom all day."

"Fuck you!"

"If you insist on going another round before you depart well I certainly have no objections but-

"Not like that you-arggg-

And yet even as the tattooed redhead huffed and puffed and snarled at the pink-haired male on the other side of the bathroom door there was no mistaking the noticeable tent regrowing in his pants.

"Damn you Grantz! What the fuck did you do to me?"

It was barely above a whisper but the walls were practically paper thin so it should come as no great surprise when-

"I have done anything to you Ren, just brought your desires to the surface seeing how you so love to deny yourself and all."

"You-! Arrgg Renji wanted to punch something else aside from Szayel's face-although he might want to punch that again too but-

"Look just shut up and go make some coffee or something since it's the only thing you're good for."

This was not an entirely true nor fair statement to make since Renji knew for a fact that the pink-haired male had a degree in medicine and was a licensed physical therapist.

But he really rather not think about the older male's positive points.

"Coffee it is my sweet _Ren_."

"Don't call me sweet you perverted flamingo!"

A whimsical laugh and then the sound of foot steps fading away.

()()()

Renji continued to stand inside the bathroom for another 15 minutes before finally deeming it safe enough to come out."

()()()

"_**This is DJ Kaze sayin' stay off the road because an ice storm is headed your way!"**_

Renji switched the radio dial

"_**You're listening to Flash Step Radio-All Fast Music All the time!"**_

Somehow it was always easier to drive into a blizzard with bubblegum rock and pop music blasting through the speakers.

It was so light and bouncy that the fact that Renji's windshield wipers were broken and that the heater produced more air then actual heat almost didn't matter.

Key word being almost because with broken windshield wipers Renji was forced to drive slower than a senior citizen. The few cars that remained on the road honked and shouted obscenities at him.

One guy even went so far as to ram into him from the side swerving into an illegal lane.

Renji wasn't in the mood to start some sort of road rage war with the other drivers so he let them pass.

Not caring that a short while later his car was the only one on the road.

()()

He bobbed his head to Tyki Mikk's Shattered Innocence and took a few more sips from his thermos.

That was one thing he had to hand to Szayel-the pink-haired male could brew one hell of a coffee.

His neighbor had said that it was his way of apologizing for giving Renji such a difficult morning.

Renji had rolled his eyes and accepted the thermos without protest.

Quickly discovering that this was both a good and bad decision.

Good because like with most caffeine he would be awake and full of energy for several hours, having no problem for his road trip up to the mountains.

Bad because it seemed that as nice as Grantz' gesture might have seemed there was a catch-the bastard had slipped a little something into it-

Something that was now causing Renji to practically hump his damn steering wheel.

And when that wasn't enough at every red light Renji would be forced to whip out his King Cobra and dunk it in ice water-hoping that it would solve the problem.

No such luck!

Renji had no other choice but to take care of his not so little problem the proper way.

Keeping one hand trained on the wheel he used his other one to jack off!

Not that this helped much either because now on top of a throbbing dick he had a dirty car (not that it was particularly clean to begin with but-

Oh he was so going to kill Szayel when he got back-

If he got back-hadn't he passed that damn tree like 6 times?

()()()

This was the moment when it would probably be wise to take his hand out of his pants and call for-well not for help because if he did then Rukia would just rub It in his face-

So he couldn't call her he'd call another friend-

"_**Hello?"**_

"Hey uh can I speak to Ikkaku?"

"_**I'm afraid he's a bit preoccupied at the moment, can I take a message?"**_

"Huh-oh no uh but listen by any chance you wouldn't happen to have any idea how to get to the (CLICK!)

Great just great-whoever had answered Ikkaku's phone had hung up him.

Renji let out a sigh and called Rukia.

"_**Where are you?"**_

"I'm not exactly sure." 

"_**What the hell do you mean you're not sure-you damn idiot!"**_

"I'm not an idiot your map just sucks!"

It was no secret that his raven-haired friend had horrible drawing skills-why she had insisted on hand-drawing a map Renji would never know.

There was a loud tapping noise leaving the redhead to conclude that Rukia was pissed and taking out her frustrations on her phone.

Then a scratching sound followed and finally-

"_**Renji-san?"**_

"Uh er yeah whose this?"

"_**Rukia's Hime of course!"**_

"Right uh I mean how are you?"

"_**I'm great-better than great actually and I'm so glad we finally get the chance to chat because I've been meaning to thank you. You have no idea what this means to me-still don't know how you managed it but it doesn't matter-what matters is you found him and I can't thank you enough."**_

Renji was a bit confused. He did not know what the princess was talking about but hey who was he to ruin her almost wedding day?

"Sure uh glad you liked it-so anyway if there's any chance you and Rukia could like meet me half way or something I'd really appreciate it cuz my car is a real piece of junk and-

"Say no more Renji-san Rukia and I are on our way."

CLICK!

"Wait! But you didn't even

Damn-well at least the aggravation of getting lost made him temporarily forget about his other problems.

For the moment anyway.

()()()

Kuchiki Rukia scowled at her cellphone. Why the hell should she take the time out of her pre-wedding day in order to rescue her idiotic friend?

"I'm only doing this for you my Hime." She said to the buxom brunette who was currently sitting in the passenger seat looking too damn tempting in her silky pink gown and silver kitten heels. In addition to her engagement ring the auburn haired princess was also wearing the sterling silver snow-flake earrings Rukia had presented to her on the previous night during dinner.

"I know because you're a good friend and it's one of the reasons I fell in love with you."

Rukia smirked "Yes but the other reason you fell in love with me far surpasses the first."

The brunette giggled knowingly "Oh you are so bad."

Silver blues danced "And you love me for that too."

_**Sprinkles and nutmeg**_

_**Cinnamon and Honey**_

_**Come Make the Holiday Bright**_

"I really wish you would get rid of that awful ring tone it doesn't even rhyme."

Rukia rolled her eyes and pressed the phone to her ear.

()()()

"Why the hell didn't you call me back?"

"_**Why must you be such an obnoxious idiot all the time I know where you are."**_

"You do?" Renji furrowed his brows "How?"

"_**Because I'm a Kuchiki." Rukia boasted as though that answered everything.**_

Renji rolled his eyes. "Whatever anyway are you coming or not?"

"_**Hime and I will be there soon so just cool your jets."**_

Renji wasn't sure if he believed Rukia. "How much longer?"

He could hear her grinding her teeth on the other end._** "Soon. Now stop calling you're wasting my batteries."**_

After that she hung up.

Renji cursed and threw his phone.

As if to sour his mood even more the heater which had barely worked in the first place had stopped completely.

Renji pulled the car over to the side of the road so he could rummage inside his suitcase for another sweater.

Task complete he started up the car once more and continued down on the road to nowhere.

Still trying to figure out how his friend could possibly know where he was when he himself didn't have a clue. With a shrug Renji zipped up his hoodie and turned the music up even louder.

()()()

A short while later it was pitch dark outside and Renji concluded that it would not be wise to drive any further so he put the car in park and waited for his supposed rescue.

()()

Trying to ignore the bitter wind chill as he downed crackers and soup-another present from Szayel.

The soup was good-very good instantly warming Renji's body-making him almost happy.

This wasn't so bad-just to sit here and eat in a car with Malik's 'So this is mind Control' blasting on the radio-nope not bad at all-

Renji barely registered the cold-didn't think much about how his body shivered and his teeth chattered-as long as he had his radio all was well-

Just then as if to spite or mock him-yes mock him the engine radio died.

Not one to give up hope that easily the redhead set his soup to the side and turned the key in the ignition-

Nothing happened-

With a resigned sigh Renji concluded that he wasn't going anywhere so he might as well bundle up.

He reached into his suitcase and threw on several more layers of clothes-above all else at least he wouldn't freeze to death.

Things could be worse. Things could always be worse.

Renji flipped back his chair and shut his eyes-maybe after a few hours of rest the car would start up again or Rukia would appear-yes things would improve he just had to give it time.

()()()

"Rukia I think we missed a turn on that last-

"Nonsense Hime I know exactly where I'm going."

"But I could sworn we-

"Hime-chan?"

"Er yes?"

"I know where I'm going

Inoue Orihime was not one to doubt her lover but she was pretty sure that Renji-san would not be at the MODSOUL strip club.

()()()

Renji wasn't sure how long he had been sleeping but he could see the sun starting to rise.

The snow had stopped. It was the start of a new day.

With a new burst of energy flowing through his entire being Renji turned the key in the ignition and let out a triumphant shout when it purred to life.

He gave it a light tap like an owner would when petting its dog for a job well done, turned the radio back on 'Chocobos 'In Your Garden' was playing-

Renji felt it was the ideal sort of wake up song-

A pop techno type sound. He was still quite warm in his 6 layers of clothing so Renji felt no need to try and see if the heater worked again.

Then he reached for his cellphone.

Rukia had left him a voice message.

"_**Hey Rennnnnji this is (hic) Ru-(hic) kia-you know your frrrriend (hic) listen you know Hime-chan and I are gonna hic) be a lil (hic) late and hahaha stop that I'm tick(hic)ish-well see you then, bye."**_

_**WTF?**_

_**Okay so apparently instead of coming to rescue him Rukia had decided to grab her bride to be off to some strip club and in the process got so damn drunk off her ass that she couldn't even leave a proper message!**_

_**Damn. Damn. Double Damn!**_

Renji let out a sigh and decided that he would not let his raven-haired friend ruin his day. He took another look at the map and felt like a complete grade A idiot-he couldn't believe that he had been so out of it yesterday that he hadn't noticed that the damn thing had been upside down.

'_Go figure!'_

Renji turned the map right side up and then he knew exactly where he was and where he needed to go.

He was exactly 30 miles away from the lodge and could get there in record time-

But why rush?

Rukia was too drunk off her ass to even lecture him properly then there was no need for Renji to rush.

No he would take his time.

Maybe stop at a diner or something and have a breakfast.

Sausage and Pancakes sounded like a fine place to start.

()()()

20 minutes late Renji was back on the road with Shinsengumi's We Love Mayo blasting through the speakers!

Yes this was Renji's day-!

And it was only getting better because after searching through his belongings Renji had found a hidden thermos hidden in with his toiletries-not that he'd ever admit it out loud but Grantz would probably make a good wife.

Renji scowled at the thought. Thinking of that bastard would ruin his day not make it better.

Besides Renji's ideal wife would never be someone as fruitastic and flamboyant as Szayel-no Renji's wife would be an older woman-preferably in her 30's maybe early 40's if she was a looker or-okay so aside from Nel, his child hood crush, Renji had never really been attracted to members of the opposite sex-so his ideal mate-yes his ideal mate would have to be neither soft nor rough, somewhere in between. Standing somewhere between 5'7 and 5'10, light colored hair and-

Renji shook his head.

Mate? What the hell is wrong with me?

Stupid Grantz! Bastard probably put some other weird drug or something in this thermos just like he did with the last one-

'_**Well at least this one only effects my mind not my-**_

As if to further taunt him-just as Renji continued to sip Szayel's magic coffee the all too familiar itch started up yet again-just like yesterday-no worse!

Much much worse.

Renji didn't even feel like he had control over his body anymore-felt like his hands had moved on their own-forcing him to whip out his King Cobra and jack off once more!

()()()

After re-soiling his steering wheel Renji wiped a the sticky white substance lazily with a napkin he had found buried in the back of his trunk (wasn't perfect but it would have to do for the time being)

()()()

Rukia yawned lazily. She knew who was calling but she was going to let him suffer for a little while longer.

Besides she much rather continue to lie around in this master suite on this wonderfully fluffy King size bed surrounded by her would-be-bride and the sexy bunny stripper they had picked up last night.

_Yes Risa had been too delish to pass up especially when she started rubbing that feather duster in between her legs as she continued to dance on the pole._

_Rukia had watched the way her Hime-chan's gun metal grays had let up with excitement and had quickly reached a decision._

After all just because they were soon to be married women-that did not mean they had stop having spontaneous fun and adventure every now and then.

()()()

What the hell was a golden fox doing in the middle of the road?

There was no way Renji could ever run over such an innocent creature-well innocent or not there was no way Renji would run over any animal.

Then thing had appeared out of nowhere but he could still swerve out of the way-might give the fox a good start but at least he wouldn't-WOAH!

That was perhaps too fast of a turn-Renji slammed on the breaks right before the car went toppling off the mountain side-

Unfortunately even though he had managed to avoid a quick and painful death with the cliff-there was nothing he could do about the large tree which had also suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

It was not wise to panic-Renji knew this-knew that he should try and remain calm and regain control of the car before trying to exit the vehicle-

Curse his rotten luck!

His hands were still so damn slippery with his own jizz that he was having a devil of a time getting his seat belt off-and then before he knew it-

WHAM! LIGHTS OUT!

()()()

As usual Naru had run off to play again and as usual the abominable snowberry had to search for his companion.

And while he was out searching for the blond fox the snowberry certainly didn't expect to come across-

A human?

A human unconscious in a car which had crashed into a tree.

Not just any tree-the tree-

Normally the snowberry would be pissed that some moronic human had smashed into the same tree where he had buried his fallen companions underneath the soil but from the looks of things it didn't look like the human had done it on purpose.

So the snowberry would let it slide.

He couldn't make out any real details of the human's face from this angle-couldn't determine if it was male or female but he could make out the hair-which was brighter than even his own and that was saying something.

The snowberry felt it was his duty to check on the human-make sure it was still breathing.

Based on his past encounters with these creatures he would approach with caution.

()()()

It was a dream-the collision wasn't that serious or so Renji had thought but maybe he hit his head harder than he thought because the dream or the hallucination? Yes the hallucination that the fabled abominable snowberry had appeared before him-although a great deal shorter than the stories had made it out to be-

Not that Renji gave a damn about the monsters height to begin with because it was all a hallucination anyway and-

Shit it was reaching one of its monstrous paws out now-probably only seconds away from crushing Renji's skull-

Crap Crap Crap why did life have to suck so damn much?

()()()

The snowberry rolled his eyes. Really for all their arrogant boasting and natural "confidence" he just couldn't understand why humans seemed to fear him.

Why couldn't they just understand that sometimes it simply got cold and lonely up in the mountains and all he wanted was a bit of company? Couldn't they see that he wasn't here to harm them?

Sure his appearance of big furry white creature with strange eyes and noticeable fangs might be a bit intimidating but he was a gentle spirit with a pure heart. Contrary to all the myths and legends he was not a cannibal.

Ah the human was waking up-good good now they could have a chance to-

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!"

With a scream that could probably cause an avalanche if given a chance the human scrambled backwards to get as far away from him as possible-and then fainted.

The snowberry cocked his head to the side.

Certainly more interesting than other humans he encountered in the past.

He wanted to know more.

And so he knelt down and picked up the unconscious human and started the long trek back up to his home inside the hidden cave on the highest part of the mountain.

He would go back out and continue his search for Naru later once he had a few words with the human.

()()()

He was moving-or rather he was being carried?

Yes carried on the back of a-

Let's see white fur with a stripe of orange, large paws, long fangs, right so the abominable snowberry was carrying him up the mountain-that was nice-wait!

No it wasn't! What the-shit the mythical snow creature had found Renji, scooped him up and was now carrying him up the-

_**Don't panic don't panic-use your brain-maybe you can knock the thing unconscious and-**_

"Don't struggle trust me you do not want to fall from this height."

The abominable snowberry was speaking to him?

And Renji could understand it?

What were the odds?

()()()

The snowberry couldn't help but think that this particular human smelled well…nice.

Very nice actually.

()()()

Renji blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. Four times.

Was he truly hallucinating or was the snow monster purring?

And then quite unceremoniously the creature dropped the tattooed redhead like yesterdays luggage.

'_Well at least I landed on my side.'_ Thought Renji

Red-brown eyes took in the space around him.

A cave. Although from the looks of things it didn't look like an average cave-but more like a home-or at least a living room inside a house-a leather recliner, a bear skin rug, cozy little fire place, a bed.

Wow this was certainly not what he had been expecting.

And then it dawned on Renji the monstrous snowberry wasn't just some random dangerous creature who liked to eat humans-no it was a creature from another world-yes another world who came here to-

The redhead felt sick to his stomach quickly concluding that the legendary snowberry had eaten the humans who set up this little living space in the mountains and now it was going to do the same to Renji.

Hell if he'd go down with out a fight!

()()()

The human was nervous. Twitching like a cornered animal in caught in a trap. The snowberry did not like the sight.

He found it most unsettling.

He was determined to change the expression on the human's face because now that he was back at his home he could make out that it was a rather attractive male. If the snowberry was smart he could win this human over-possibly gain a friend or something more?

He wouldn't get his hopes up but it was nice to think happy things-almost made the snowberry feel human once more.

The snowberry rubbed at his chest-feeling that familiar ache and decided that he shouldn't waste anymore time and just get on with it.

()()()

So caught up in trying to figure how to escape the snowberry Renji failed to realize that said berry was coming into his personal space until it was almost too late.

He scrambled back trying to distance himself from the creature-almost desperately hoping for some type of-

"Calm down would you I just want to talk."

This was the second time the creature was speaking and Renji could understand it.

The question was why?

Above all else Renji was a man and men do not cower-even at the sight of-

He crossed his arms and stood up feeling a little more confident when he found he towered over the figure by a few inches. "So go ahead and talk but uh don't come any closer."

()()

When the human took on an offensive stance the snowberry almost wanted to change his game plan-thinking it might be fun to mess with the human just a little bit.

But first a change of appearance was in order.

()()()

The line 'things aren't always what they seem' rang truer at that very moment then at any other time Renji could recall in his life.

He stood there with his mouth gaping wide open-he could probably catch a school of fish in one gulp, eyes nearly bugging out of their sockets-

Finger pointing at the creature that was no longer a creature anymore-or if it was it had one hell of a skill-being able to change itself into-

If Renji were still a horny teenage adolescent he would probably need a mop in order to wipe away the blood that would have been dripping from his nose at that moment-

Cliches aside never in his life could the tattooed redhead recall ever seeing such a delicious being-hell he couldn't even remember ever dreaming up a creature who looked like it stepped straight out of a-

()()()

The snowberry's left brow twitched-this was part of the reason why he did not like to shed his outer coat-humans became so easily distracted

"Hey do you think you can wipe the drool from your face long enough and tell me what the hell you were doing out here in the mountains in the first place?"

()()()

The creature's lips were moving but whatever was being said at that moment did not register in Renji's brain-for his brain had flown south for the winter leaving nothing but mush in its place-

Well not mush exactly-not even close-more like his brain decided to tune every thing else out and just focus on the spiky tangerine locks falling just above beautiful cinnamon brown eyes-focus on the cheekbones, high and seemingly kissed by the sun- focus on the perfectly shaped peach tinted mouth which seemed to be set into a half frown-focus on the neck-especially that defined collarbone which was just asking to be nibbled and tasted-those natural flexing pectoral muscles, practically dancing for him, the nubs making him think of caramel cream candies-it had been far too long since he last had a proper bite to eat.

"Oi!"

Renji blinked.

The creature was glaring at him, a slight tint to his cheeks.

He'd be damned if he was going to apologize. Served the snowberry right (yes somehow some way he had concluded that the creature was still the snowberry) for standing there practically in the buff.

Instead the first true smirk made its way on to Renji's face and without further warning he advanced on the creature.

()()()

The snowberry was having none of that.

He was going to tell his story and learn his potential mates name before any pouncing action took place.

Nearly laughing his ass of in a completely out of character style as he switched back into his furry coat and the human skidded to an abrupt halt.

The snowberry had no one to blame but himself. His fallen comrades had always said he should say his piece before dropping his coat-always said he should keep his guard up because humans did not know the meaning of patience and down boy!

And now this particular human was pouting.

"Sorry to disappoint you but I need you to focus on what I'm about to reveal to you."

()()()

Renji really didn't give a monkeys ass about whatever it was the snowberry wanted to say-he was much more interested in finding out if the creature under the coat the tasted as good as he had looked.

He almost wanted to whine but that would be totally and completely unmanly.

On top of which the snowberry might get the wrong idea and Renji really didn't want to finish that particular train of thought-so for the time being he ignored the tent rising in his pants and sat down-hoping that if he sat and listened like a good boy the mountain creature would shed his fur once more.

()()()

Seemingly satisfied that the tattooed human had settled down for the time being the snowberry repeated his question "So what are you doing out in the mountains?"

"I was on my way to meet a friend."

At a raised brow the human elaborated "She's getting married I'm supposed to walk her down the aisle or something-didn't really give me the details she's more of a last minute kinda woman you know."

"…"

"Right so uh what was all that-er the transformation thing. Are you a shapeshifter or something?"

"It's a bit more complicated than that." The snowberry sat down and stared into the fire before meeting the humans' gaze once more. "We'll start with the basics, call me Ichigo."

"Number one guardian, sworn to protect," the redhead looked thoughtful "The legends are false then? You're a good snowberry?"

"It's not really a matter of being good or bad-more like how one chooses to interpret things."

It was the human's turn to raise a brow. Sounded ridiculous to Ichigo referring to the redhead as human. He needed to find out his name "Before I continue what's your name?"

A bit of the cockiness returned to the human's tone. "Renji, I'm not exactly sworn or destined to protect any one but with you I might make an exception."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "I don't need protecting, but thanks all the same."

"…"

"…"

"You know you're kind of-

"Interesting."

A moment of silence. Followed by twin glares and finally both the snowberry and the human chuckled.

And then glared again.

"Stop copying me!"

Ichigo snorted. "What are you in 3rd grade? I can't help it if we think a like."

"Oh yeah? Let's see if you can guess what I'm thinking next."

It was strange. But a good kind of strange. The snowberry didn't even know how it happened-nor what it had to do with anything but-

The hu-no Renji furrowed his brows together and shut his eyes-he seemed to be thinking really hard-or trying to convince Ichigo that he was thinking really hard-again it was strange but sort of familiar in a way that Ichigo really couldn't understand.

He took a few minutes to just study the human-his face specifically-hoping to figure him out.

He couldn't wrap his brain around it but something about Renji seemed-well like he knew him from somewhere.

A relative perhaps?

He shook his head it didn't matter.

Not really.

Back to the game.

"Could it be you're thinking about whether or not I'll keep good on my promise and let you embrace me once I'm done telling my story?"

()()()

Renji didn't know how the sn-how Ichigo was doing it-nor did he really care-he was far more interested in seeing what other expressions he could get his creature to make-yes his creature was back-it seemed that some where in between their glaring competition the transformation had taken place-

From the looks of things the orange haired male looked to be around the same age-well this version of him anyway-in truth Ichigo was probably ancient-

Renji should be a bit freaked out by this but he wasn't and why?

Well what ever the snowberry was things like age probably didn't really exist anyway-maybe Ichigo was more like a vampire or something-youthful looking forever.

Again it didn't matter-Renji just wanted the berry to hurry up and tell his story so they could get started.

And they would indeed get started if the teasing tone in the berry's voice was anything to go by.

"I'm all ears _berry-cakes_."

The berry narrowed his eyes. "Don't start with the nicknames or I swear I'll throw you back out into the cold."

Renji was more amused then anything. "You can try."

()()()

Ichigo let out a low growl and smirked triumphantly when the redhead jumped a bit.

"Anyway I guess the best place to start any story is at the very beginning…

()()()

_**All legends, myths, fairy tales usually start with children.**_

_**In this case it was a young girl around oh 14 or so years of age.**_

_**TO BE CONCLUDED**_


	4. SNOW BERRY PART TWO

Disclaimer: The hour when the pineapple arrives has come. And yet SLY does still not own BLEACH. Kubo-sensei does.

For Ane-chan and her love of caffeine

SnowBerry

2/2

_**All legends, myths, fairy tales usually start with children.**_

_**In this case it was a young girl around oh 14 or so years of age.**_

_**Dressed in expensive petticoats and designer boots, not a hair out of place, rosy cheeks, she is the very picture of youthful innocence-they call her Hinamori.**_

_**Now Hina-**_

_**()()**_

_**The snowberry stopped telling his tale when he noticed the tattooed redhead started to remove his clothes-**_

"Oi! Oi! What are you doing?"

"Relax Ichigo I'm just getting a little more comfortable-after all I don't see why only one of us should be practically naked." Renji wiggled his brows, "Loving the boxers by the way (holiday red with little bells) very festive."

The snowberry scowled "I didn't pick these out!"

"Ah but you are the one wearing them so-

"Shut up! They keep me warm."

It was one of the few items that the snowberry had refused to give up even when he was cursed-not that he'd tell the human this.

Renji snickered and moved closer to Ichigo. "I have a more productive way to keep you warm."

The snowberry slapped away the humans' hands (the redhead tried to be slick and slip a finger inside his boxers)

"Not yet wait til' I finish my story."

Renji rolled his eyes and rested his hand on the snowberry's thigh. "Fine, fine go ahead and tell your story."

()()()

_**Hinamori was loved and cherished by many and yet she felt a deep loneliness-felt like a piece of her soul was missing-felt she didn't quite belong in the world. She believed that there had to be more to living aside from simply going through the motions.**_

_**She was determined to find it-she went on an adventure of sorts-looking for the unknown.**_

_**Hoping that whatever/whoever she might find out there would bring her a sense of happiness.**_

_**()()**_

_**Now venturing out into the wild after hours probably wasn't a wise thing to do in the first place but Hinamori simply didn't care.**_

_**She felt dead inside.**_

_**Figured if she encountered a bear or something equally wild and dangerous it would light up that spark in her-make her feel alive!**_

_**()()**_

_**Well it wasn't a bear that little Hinamori encountered but a shape shifter. **_

_**His voice was smooth and hypnotic, his gaze dark and penetrating, his touch-he brushed the inside of her wrist with his thumb-feeling her pulse-pressing, reaching, grabbing on to her very soul.**_

_**He possessed her in an instant. Stripped her from her human flesh-**_

"_**This is what you wanted."**_

_**Hinamori shook her head frantically. She wanted to scream-wanted to run but found that she know longer had control over her body-**_

_**Eyes grew wide with horror as she watched her pale flesh change-a coat of white fur covering her once dainty hand, moving up to her elbow and eventually enveloping her entire body.**_

_**Little Hinamori didn't understand what was happening to her-she made another attempt to scream but could not.**_

_**As the shapeshifter drew closer-a hairs breath away he said **_

**"I am Aizen Sousuke and you shall call me your God."**

**()()()**

_**I know what you're thinking what does any of this have to do with me?**_

_**Well I shall tell you**_

_**()()()**_

_**When I was a teenager I too encountered shapeshifters. But unlike Hinamori I wasn't looking for a sense of adventure or a thrill ride- **_

_**I was quite content being plain old Ichigo. **_

_**Neither happy nor depressed with life. I had a mother, a father and 2 sisters, lived in a middle class neighborhood, was neither a delinquent nor a kiss ass. Neither popular nor an outcast-I had a fair share of admirers.**_

_**I had one rule for myself.**_

_**If at any time I was bored I would find something to do.**_

_**Because in my mind you're only bored if your lazy and I wasn't lazy.**_

_**Played my fair share of sports, had a few summer jobs, went to school, hung out with friends, like I said nothing special or extraordinary.**_

_**I didn't date-just didn't have any interest in it.**_

_**And even though I enjoyed a lot of things there was nothing I felt passionate about.**_

_**This worried my mother and so you can imagine what happened next…**_

_**()()()**_

_**I came home one afternoon to find three of my former rivals turned friends sitting inside my kitchen drinking eggnog and munching on cookies.**_

_**It didn't take a genius to figure it out why they were there-hair combed, shirts tucked in, piercing removed, perfect schoolboys sweet talking my mother.**_

_**I wouldn't find out what exactly it was they were trying to get her to agree to up until the following weekend when they showed up outside my house looking like they were heading to the mountains.**_

_**()()()**_

_**Nnoitra with his body leaned half way against the wall, long black hair falling partially over his grinning oblong shaped face, shielding his amethyst colored eye, wearing a pair of goggles around his neck like it was some sort of backwards fashion statement, a bright yellow fleece-lined down jacket over his black turtle neck, black snow pants and boots.**_

_**Up in the tree posed very much like a jungle cat was Grimmjow, electric blue hair in faux hawk/blow dried style, electric blue eyes shielded behind silver goggles, tight fitted v-neck navy blue sweater underneath his infamous black leather jacket, dark blue jeans and brown hiking boots.**_

_**And last but certainly not least looking as though he had just woken up from a nap or like he might just fall asleep right there was Starrk-don't know why I didn't notice him first since he was sitting on the front steps but anyway I noticed that he too looked to be dressed for hiking or skiing or something, looking kind of cute (not that I told him this at the time) in his gray and white striped beanie hat, fur-trimmed charcoal gray parka, white ski pants and gray boots.**_

_**Needless to say I myself felt a lil underdressed in my simple red and black-checkered pajamas bottoms and white t-shirt.**_

_**But that isn't really the point.**_

_**Nnoitra moved away from the wall and swung one of his long arms around me "Go get your skis Ichi-pet we're going on a lil' road trip."**_

_**I blinked stupidly until I felt something wet on the side of my cheek. Took me a second or two to conclude that Starrk had stood and licked the side of my cheek, reminding me very much of a playful dog-er but anyway**_

"_**A road trip to where?"**_

_**Grimmjow used this opportunity to jump down from the tree and blow his nicotine breath in my face "Never mind where brat, we're gonna have some fun."**_

"_**MAKE SURE YOU TAKE LOTS OF PICTURES MY SONS IN LAW. I EXPECT ALL OF YOU TO MAKE A REAL WOMAN OUT OF MY ICHIGO!"**_

_**My moronic father shouted from the roof-he was stringing Christmas lights and at the time I thought my it would be oh so tempting to kick the ladder out from under him-would have done it too if I didn't have my mother to think about.**_

_**If goat face had really fallen then he would have wound up in a cast and my mother would have to wait on him hand and foot even more so then she already did.**_

_**So instead bright faced and brow twitching I told the idiot to "SHUT THE HELL UP!"**_

_**Honestly what was he thinking making those kinds of comments?**_

()()

At the redheads amused look Ichigo decided to move on with the story.

()()()

_**I turned to my sister Karin who was just returning home from practice and we had a little sibling chat.**_

_**Nothing much just basically getting her to agree to lock goat face out of the house for constantly embarrassing us-in Karin's case goat face embarrassed her in front of her soccer coach which wouldn't have been a big deal if she didn't have a major crush on the guy at that time.**_

_**I doubt he did it on purpose-he was a good guy when it was all said and done-I think what it really was at the end of the day goat face wanted to live through us-do the things that he never got to do or whatever the saying is.**_

_**My mother and my other sister Yuzu waved goodbye to me from the kitchen window-the fresh smell of pies and cakes and their warm smiling faces made me feel rather warm and fuzzy.**_

_**And no I am not afraid to admit it!**_

_**()()()**_

_**As we were making our way to Starrk's jeep a familiar blur of white jumped out of the bushes and at me, climbing up on my shoulders and narrowing his golden eyes at my friends.**_

_**Shiro, my cat was a very possessive feline and did not think much of them.**_

_**Starrk was allergic to cats so he made sure never to get to close to Shiro in the first place. Grimmjow-well sometimes it seemed like he could understand Shiro better than I could-they were rivals for my attention (snorts) and Nnoitra well…**_

_**Let's just say there was definitely no real love lost between him and Shiro. On top of being possessive my cat wasn't a very forgiving animal, not that I blame him since Nnoitra did slam the door on his tail once-granted it was by accident but still have you ever heard a cat yowl?**_

_**I felt awful seeing poor Shiro in so much pain. Nnoitra did try to smooth things over-offering my cat GRADE A Catfood and top of the line catnip-it didn't work exactly but at least Shiro stopped trying to claw his face off at every free chance he got.**_

_**()()()**_

_**Anyway flashforward…**_

_**So there we were on the road bored out of our minds even though we had all of man's greatest distractions (television, radio, portable games, laptop, caffeine, etc) Starrk decided to break the boredom by telling a story.**_

_**I'm glad he was the one to start actually because whenever Nnoitra told a story it would some how become like a sleazy porno and whenever Grimmjow told a story-well let's just say he became the character and often had me as his star-crossed lover-bit embarrassing really-even though it was all in jest or so I thought-**_

_**Erm yeah my companions were perverted though that much was obvious.**_

_**As for the story…**_

"_**They say a long time ago a girl a few years younger than us disappeared when she ventured up to the mountains-something horrible happened to her-a great figure appeared from who knows where and put a curse on her-transforming her into a monster.**_

_**Keep in mind this not your modern day Beauty and the Beast Fairy Tale-no young Hinamori-chan was not so lucky-most unfortunate actually."**_

_**Starrk paused to take a glance at the road map and Grimmjow picked up where he left off "So if you can see where we're getting at here brat-we're off on an adventure."**_

_**I raised a curious brow prompting him to continue but Nnoitra took it upon himself to answer "Why go skiing up in some mountains when ya can go hunting for demons? Better yet let's do both."**_

_**Grimmjow elbowed Nnoitra in the stomach knocking the wind out of the taller male "Anyway brat they say Hina-skank became a vengeful queen, curse all and any one who come across her path but I've got this theory," a grin "I think she-Ooof!"**_

_**Nnoitra returned the blow and the Grimmjow was in too much pain to glare.**_

"_**Enough about slutty monster chicks come and sit in my lap pet I'll keep you warm."**_

"_**If you're cold Ichigo you should come and sit up front with me."**_

_**Now because Starrk was driving I knew he wouldn't try to practically molest me like Nnoitra and Grimmjow so I moved up to the front and eventually fell asl-**_

_**()()()**_

Ichigo stopped mid sentence when the sound of snoring reached his ears.

His left brow twitched. How dare the bastard human fall asleep on him!

The snowberry picked up one of the boots that Renji had slipped off in order to get more comfortable and chucked it at the redhead.

"Huh? What? Who?"

"Pay attention dumb ass I'm trying to tell my story and if you fall asleep again you can forget about getting anywhere near my ass!"

Course the snowberry wasn't really going to deny the tattooed human access to his ass he was just saying this but Renji didn't know it so it worked out just fine.

Better than fine. Perfectly.

"Sorry Ichigo." Renji sat up straight like a good little soldier. "It's just uh-the redhead started playing with his hair, twisting the bright strands around his index finger- "You have this-I mean your voice it relaxes me-far better than any dream cd you know and-

Ichigo's irritation simmered a bit. It was an unusual compliment but kind of nice too. "Huh I always thought it was kind of raspy."

Renji nodded, "It's a pleasant kind of rasp though-suits you."

As reddish brown eyes met his own cinnamon and coffee ones the snowberry melted just a little more.

The sense of familiarity-possibly a long lost love surrounded his entire being once more as he studied those eyes more closely.

"Appleseeds," he mumbled

"Huh?"

Ichigo shook his head. "Nothing just uh something I remembered," a shrug "Now where was I-ah yeah so there we were…

()()()

_**A simple skiing trip had turned into an adventure-searching for the snow munchkin Hinamori.**_

"Snow munchkin?"

"The one who was cursed remember?"

"Ah oh yeah, so go on."

()()()

_**Truthfully after the guys told me the tale I felt kind of sorry for this Hinamori I mean it's not her fault that she was tricked by some manipulative slick-tongued bastard-it's not her fault that she was cursed and felt it was only just to curse others-**_

_**Her rage-her quest for revenge was understandable-to an extent.**_

_**()()()**_

_**It happened faster than a lightning bolt-faster than a bullet and the pain-the pain was unlike anything else I had ever felt before or so I had thought at the time-the only way I remained on my feet-the only way I managed to not complete lose it was because my friends were with me-suffering-experiencing the curse at the same time that I was-still it didn't make the situation any better-**_

_**In fact it was worse because watching there proud masculine faces scrunched up in pain-watching them fall to their knees and howl still gives me nightmares even after all this time-**_

_**And as I was experiencing the change-as the white fur enveloped me-felt like I was being branded with fire or something equally unpleasant he appeared.**_

_**Yes the same shafeshifter that had cursed poor Hina-munchkin-**_

_**I did not like his smirking aristocratic face-did not like his deep entrancing brown eyes-did not like how he made me shiver and burn all at once-did not like how his voice-well anyway he was too much of an evil bastard to drool over-**_

_**Arrogant too-expected all of us to cow tow and call him master.**_

_**As fuckin' if!**_

_**My friends and I went out of our way to be as difficult as possible-we enjoyed getting a rise out of our new "master"-it became a game one might say-which of us could make him snap first.**_

_**Sadly, tragically one night things changed-**_

_**()()()**_

_**Aizen had taken an interest in me. The rest were pets, experiments, errors, but I-**_

"_**You have the potential to become a goddess Kurosaki Ichigo, the ideal match that only a true God like me deserves."**_

_**Or something equally pompous and proud!**_

_**I won't go into detail because the images-memories are still too fresh in my mind and it hurts even more to speak them out loud-but I did not know-did not understand true pain until that **__**thing**__**, you can't call him a man, a creature, a beast-no title truly fit an abomination like Aizen, that **__**thing **__**ripped into me-nearly shattered me.**_

_**But my friends didn't let him get that far-which still pisses me off to this very day-**_

_**Grimmjow, Nnoitra and Starrk were always stubborn bastards-loud, brash, arrogant and not easily controlled but they could also be sweet, gentle and fiercely protective-**_

_**()()()**_

_**Aizen, the piece of shit-oh he had a fuckin' field day messing with them-playing with their limbs, organs, you name it and then recreating their bodies and repeating the process all over again-barely recognizable.**_

_**()()()**_

_**I charged at him (determined to kill him even in my weakened state) it was no laughing matter-I was out for blood!**_

_**But I was also nowhere near his level as he so loved to point out-**_

_**()()()**_

_**Flash forward **_

_**Hinamori showed her ugly face during the following winter-a mob of brainwashed humans trailing behind her.**_

_**()()()**_

_**I don't like to go into detail like I previously said-all you have to know is-that mob-the humans slaughtered my comrades-**_

_**In a broken hearted rage I slaughtered each and every last one of them.**_

_**()()()**_

_**Some time passed**_

_**I was pathetic and alone and running-**_

_**Running where I did not know-did not care but I didn't want to carry on-enough was enough-I was disgusted with everything-but most of all myself-**_

_**Asked myself how could I let it get to this-? Why had I allowed myself to sink so slow-?**_

_**I thought of my family-could barely remember what they looked like any more-thought of my next door neighbor-he was an interesting guy, kinda like you now that I think of it.**_

_**I stood up on top of the mountain-ready to jump-ready to end it all and then Naru appeared…**_

_**()()()**_

Renji wanted to hear the snowberry's story-honestly he did but there was just something-something in that voice or perhaps the cave itself that made him sleepy and before the tattooed pineapple knew it his eyes slipped shut and he was off in dream land.

()()()

Rukia wanted to take back every mean and hurtful thing she had said to her tattooed friend. Most of it was meant in jest (kinda like sibling rivalry) there friendship had always been that way.

But as the raven-haired woman approached the abandoned vehicle with her Hime-chan just a few steps behind her, Rukia began to worry.

She did not want to jump to the worst conclusions but when she noticed the tiny droplets of red liquid on the busted window and a tiny puddle in the snow-she couldn't help the way her knees trembled-

Her princess caught Rukia before she fell. "Don't worry I'm sure Renji-san was able to get out of the back before it smashed into a tree-there would be a lot more blood if he was seriously hurt and-

Rukia rested her head on the bride to be's shoulder "You really think so Hime-chan?"

"Of course I am. I bet Renji-san just went in search of shelter-it snowed pretty heavily last night and-

"I hope you're right."

The buxom brunette nodded. "I know I am and I'll tell you why."

Rukia lifted her head up "Why?"

"The snow magician of course! Better known as the golden fox to most but Sora-nii always used to tell me the tale of the amazing snow magician when I was growing up. They say that despite his youthful appearance very few could match his power. A crown of sunny blond hair, the bluest of blue eyes, more strength in his pinky then 20 full grown gladiators-And whoever was in need of his help would receive it-They say he was a traveler-searching for his long lost love. They say he would never st-

Rukia smiled and pulled her bride to be closer. "Thank you my Hime, you always know just what to say."

Gun metal grays met silver blue "If something ever happened and we were separated would you search for me Rukia?"

Rukia cupped Orihime's sun-kissed cheek "I'd never stop searching until I had you back in my arms. No one can replace you, my Hime."

()()()

Apparently being psychically violent was not working-not enough to keep Renji from constantly falling asleep on him.

'_**So that leaves option two.'**_ Thought Ichigo.

Although if the snowberry was going to be completely honest with himself he had wanted to do this since Renji had first set foot inside his home.

'_**Even though I'm technically the one who carried him here that's not really the point.'**_

The first thing to catch Ichigo's eye before he had even brought the human to the cave was the hair-a silky shiny curtain of red. Bringing to mind the image of maraschino cherries.

The snowberry had never quite understood the obsession with cherries until now…

And Renji's eyes (when opened) those eyes had reminded Ichigo of appleseeds-brought back the memory of the apple tree orchard just a few short miles from his home-a nostalgic sort of feeling.

Ichigo wouldn't go so far as to say he would like to lick the redheads eye balls-that was disgusting not to mention bordering on lines of pre-cannibalism but he did wish to capture those eyes.

He just wasn't quite sure how.

His large paws were too damn clumsy-made it impossible to hold a camera and even in his human skin-his hands never quite did what he wanted them to do-It was a bit annoying that he had so much trouble lifting inanimate objects even after all this time-after the bastard's death-Aizen still had a hold of sorts on Ichigo.

The snowberry shook his head. He did not want to think of Aizen. He wanted to think of Renji. Renji and his skin-not a single hair anywhere on that smooth and beautifully sculpted body.

The color reminding Ichigo of a rich honey, artistically decorated with tattoos-the design it self-it was as if the black ink was licking and twisting itself around that wonderful rich honey toned skin (further pronounced by the human's muscular frame.

Renji was neither wiry nor stocky-just perfect.

A combination of sharp angles and fine curves. Clearly masculine but the kind of masculine beauty that was almost nearly impossible to replicate.

And if he dared to say such a thing out loud Renji would probably punch him in the face so Ichigo would keep his thoughts to himself.

Something in the redheads overall stance, personality and speech pattern spoke of his inner warrior.

Ichigo snorted '_**Sometimes I sound so unbelievably dorky even to my own ears.'**_

Still there was no denying-and it had been far too long since he had last desired to touch another so why deny himself?

Besides Renji had made it more than clear to Ichigo-he wanted him. And the feeling was quite obviously mutual.

But seeing as how his redheaded companion had fallen asleep it was up to the snowberry to take matters into his own hands.

()()()

Slipping his fingers around the waistband of the other male's pants and tugged down.

Ichigo eyes widened at the sight now greeting him.

He certainly hadn't thought the tattooed human would be small by any stretch but this-Renji wasn't even fully erect and Ichigo could still-

The snowberry licked his lips and instead of diving right in, he trailed his tongue lazily along the inner thigh and the wrapped his lips around the ball sac-loving how smooth the skin was-never really understanding why so many others seemed to ignore this part of a man's body.

To an extent it made sense since who the hell wanted a mouth full of hair but people wouldn't have a reason to complain if they kept it smooth like the way Renji kept his.

It didn't have a taste-Ichigo often thought it was kind of dumb how humans associated sexual body parts with food or flavors but-

The smell-the intoxicating odor that was completely and uniquely Renji's-it was twice as strong on the lower part of the redheads body compared to the upper part.

He enjoyed teasing and mouthing the flesh for a good amount of time before finally zeroing in on the grand prize.

()()()

When the human's thigh twitched slightly Ichigo thought Renji might be waking up (bought damn time!) but when he looked up-the redheads' snores had turned into light breathing/wheezing/whichever…

Renji had delicious looking lips, making Ichigo think of marmalade-a specific marmalade he enjoyed spreading on his toast when he was little-

Orange brows furrowed and the snowberry asked himself

'_**Why haven't I kissed him yet? Surely I should have pressed my own mouth to his before anything else right?'**_

Deciding it was time to right the wrong-and correct his error Ichigo carefully straddled the sleeping redhead biting his lower lip to suppress the moan that was threatening to slip out when skin finally met skin-

()()()

Renji was swimming in a pool of caramel creams, peaches and tangerines.

He opened his mouth and found that he simply could not get enough of the taste.

He wanted more!

Sure some part of his brain thought it was a little odd to be getting excited over food of all things but the other part of his brain said logic didn't matter here in dream land.

The only thing that mattered was the pool of sweetness-the delicious warm pool-warming his previously chilled skin in the most delicious of ways.

And then gradually the warm liquid morphed-becoming solid-the solid shape was becoming a figure-

Reddish browns fluttered-still not quite wide awake Renji reached out for the figure-grinning when it finally dawned on him what he was touching-squeezing fleshy mounds-more accurately Ichigo's butt cheeks.

How bold and insistent his snowberry-to-be was.

Renji wanted to laugh as Ichigo glared at him.

"Something you want berry-cakes?"

"Bastard, open your mouth."

()()()

At long last when the Renji stopped being a jackass-their mouths met and the snowberry tasted pineapple cherries and honey dipped apples and the human tasted sweet tangerines and caramel creams-there was no real tongue lashing battle-both parties just enjoyed the moment for what it was-

And the delicious friction-so damn good!

"More!"

()()()

Renji didn't know if it was Ichigo or himself who had made the command but he was betting on the tangerine snowberry because with out further warning the other male had pushed him down on his back and told him "Don't move."

Now Renji didn't like taking orders but his protest quickly died in his mouth when he noticed what the snowberry was about to do.

()()()

Even after all this time Ichigo felt that the act of stretching and preparing his body for what was to come was more of a mandatory thing rather than pleasurable-

()()(0

Slipping his fingers (he always started with two) in between his cheeks and then pushing past the tight ring of muscles he gave his body a few minutes to adjust before slipping in a third…before making his way back over to the tattooed redhead where he hovered just above him-quite surprised and delighted that the human seemed to have no problems with letting him take the reigns-at least for the moment.

Ichigo lowered his body so it simply brushed against Renji's proud, pulsing, red and leaking organ but not actually letting the cock inside-

He was amused that the redhead seemed to be in a bit of a daze and it wasn't until Ichigo grabbed Renji's hand and placed it against his skin, a purr dripping from peach tinted lips "Touch me."

()()()

Renji grinned. The snowberry didn't have to tell him twice.

()()()

The princess had wanted to return to the Inn but Rukia could not go back without knowing if her friend was safe. So instead the couple started to walk-not sure what they would find but hoping for the best.

Rukia nearly lost her footing on a slippery patch of ice but once again her Hime-chan was there to catch her before she fell.

()()(()

As the two women continued on the princess decided to fill the silence with babbling

"I still don't know how Renji-san managed to track down Sora-nii. Where did he look? The search and rescue party claimed that they had scoured the entire jungle and yet nothing came up. They told me I should just forget about my brother and I had almost given up hope but then my crimson angel, Renji-san appeared and oh isn't it wonderful Rukia? I've always wanted my brother to give me away on my wedding day."

Rukia didn't voice her thoughts out loud basically she had no desire to upset her princess but at the same time the raven-haired woman felt something simply did not add up-she had only told Renji about Hime's brother once and the tattooed redhead had never had the best memory so she kind of doubted that he had anything to do with Sora being found-which led her to conclude that a certain downstairs neighbor, Szayel, must be behind it.

'Hm guess I'll have to thank him when we get back home.'

The raven-haired woman was startled when a golden blur shot right in front of her and her bride to be.

()()()

It didn't take a genius to figure out that the snowberry was in a good amount of pain which definitely did not sit well with Renji but it really wasn't his fault-Ichigo was so damn tight-it was almost as if his ass had been sewn shut-no doubt he ripped something and if he pulled out he'd most likely find some blood mixed in with the cum.

Ichigo was full on growling and howling-Renji noted that it was a bit of a challenge for the tangerine haired male to remain in his human skin-could swear a claw had cut into him or time or two.

But he wasn't going to complain about it-pain came with pleasure as the old saying went-

And the snowberry was determined to continue at a fast and pounding pace-far surpassed bouncing in Renji's lap-impaling his body more and more-

It worried the human just a little bit-was it possible Ichigo might be a little bit of a masochist?

Blinking tears out of his eyes Ichigo wrapped his legs even tighter around Renji "Stop being such and idiot-the burn is bliss in its own way."

"You say that Ichigo but-

"Shut up I know my own body better than you."

Something that would definitely have to change should Renji decide to turn his connection with Ichigo into a long term type of thing.

'_**And I will.'**_

"But you were ow! The fuc-did you just bite me?"

Ichigo licked at the small droplet of blood and grinned at the redhead "Yes I did and I'll do it again if you don't hurry up and fuck me properly!"

()()()

After following the yellow flash of light…

The two women climbed higher and they reached a cave-loud almost inhuman sounds met their ears (correction this is what it might have sounded like to the untrained ear but Rukia knew better.)

She turned to her lover "Let's head back."

The princess blinked in confusion. "But I thought you said Renji-san might be in-

"He's fine." Rukia smiled "We'll come back for him tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? But what about the wedding?"

"We'll postpone it-besides Byakuya-niisama just texted me-seems like he'll be able to make it after all."

The two women waved goodbye to the yellow light turned fox.

"Thanks for your help Naru-san!"

()()()

"What do you mean you're not satisfied? We've been at this for like four hours-like a GD marathon."

The snowberry snorted, "I've been doing most of the work-

Renji took this as a challenge-Ichigo would pay for that one-

"I'll show you-!

Cinnamon and coffee eyes danced "Good. Give me your best!"

()()()

END

Bottom Notes: When all else fails dialogue, dialogue dialogue.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

_**HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**_


	5. TREE PROLOGUE

Disclaimer: I love rock music but I'll never be Kubo-sensei!

A/N And the holiday theme continues….YA-HA!…This time around we have match making guardian angels. YAY!

I always said if I was going to let Shuhei play with Ichigo then I would dedicate to it **Totoromo**, I highly recommend her _Lost Cause_ and _The Chains that Bind Us _but every fic of hers is worth reading.

Characters in order of appearance: Kira, Shiro, Grimmjow, Ichigo, Shuhei, others.

Pairings: Eventual ShuheixIchigo, other pairings mentioned

Warnings: AU, OOC-ness, crack-plot, language, spelling, grammar, the usual.

Summary: _With one very determined blond and 2 "angels" there's no way Kurosaki Ichigo or Hisagi Shuhei will have a dull Christmas._

**#6 **

**NESTLED UNDER YOUR TREE**

()()

_In the beginning…_

A foot encased in a white boot kicked the sleeping figure on the bed.

"Wake up Kira-chan!"

The figure now known as Kira cracked a single blue eye open and let out a groan.

'_**Oh no it's happening again-this dream.'**_

Yes for the past fortnight Kira Izuru has dreamt of a powdered albino angel coming into his bedroom and kicking him either on the side of his ribcage or in his stomach with his equally powder white boots-telling the blond to wake up and follow him.

And every night Kira has refused because this is a dream and no one controls his dream world but him.

Sadly for the blond this night is not like the previous nights-the albino angel has moved away from the open window and over to the humans' night stand-golden eyes shining with something that could be classified as either joy or insanity as a powder white hand reaches for the photo of a man with silver hair and crimson eyes posing with a deadly looking python.

"Hmm ya got pretty good taste for a human _Kira-chan_," a smirk "I'd hate to accidentally let this slip out of my hands and-

That got the blond moving.

He jumped out of bed and snatched the photo out of the "angels" hand not caring enough to question how said "angel" was able to pick up the object in the first place he cradled it close to his chest kind of like a mother would to her new born babe and glared at the bino.

"Fine, fine if I play along with your little game or whatever will you leave me alone."

"Heh little game ya call it?" A book went flying across the room and smacked the blond in the head, "The names Shiro, I'm not a fucking illusion or dream of yours I'm as real as the blood pumping through ya scrawny body now move ya ass we're running out of time."

_**Out of time? What did time have to do with dreams? Wasn't time non existent in dreams.**_

The blond male shook his head.

Just how much sake had he consumed?

Kira placed the photo back on top of his dresser and waited for the angel to explain.

"There's only one week left until the 25th of December move ya ass or I'll move it for ya pretty boy."

A raised brow "And?"

"And its time for ya to thank jolly old saint nick for all the wonderful gifts he has brought you for the past 22 years of ya life." 

"Thank? Is this-(_blond brows furrowed_ )"Is this-are you part of some charity service or something. If so I've already sent a check to both the church and the orphanage."

Golden eyes narrowed before Shiro raised his foot and delivered a round house kick to the blond-knocking the human to the floor "Ya fuckin' dumb ass I'm an angel why the fuck would I need charity from you."

Kira rubbed his head-he could already tell it would form a bruise in a couple of hours-and still he wondered just what the hell kind of sake had he consumed to dream such a-?

"Then what is it you want from me oh great and magical _ange_l?"

()()()

The powdered angel had decided to continue the conversation else where-with a snap of his black-painted finger nails both angel and human teleport somewhere between dream universe and uber-dream universe.

()()()

Yes Kira decided right then and there that he really should cut back on the heavy drinking before bedtime.

The blond found himself wandering through what appeared to be jungle-with its many branches, trees, vines and overly large plants but curiously the scene began to shift-the plants and trees died-the ground turned to ice and snow and

"Watch your step bunny boy, ya know what they say about dyin' in your dreams don't ya?"

So then this was a dream?

"Well its sorta a dream-I'm 'fraid it's a bit too complex for you Alice-chan."

That was not the albino angel who spoke.

Kira looked around-blue eyes scanning the now frozen area. "Who said that?"

"Up here pretty boy."

Having a British grandmother on his mother's side and having a soft side for happy endings and a child like imagination from time to time Kira is quite familiar with the tale of Alice in Wonderland but the grinning angel lounging in the frozen tree tops right now doesn't exactly resemble the Cheshire cat he remembers.

Though the animalistic features are most certainly there-there is also a blood lust of sorts in this angels' electric blue orbs-either that or the electric blue haired angel has a serious case of blood-shot eyes-too much late night reading.

The moment the thought enters his mind Kira knows he most definitely should think about checking into a 12-step program for his new years resolution.

Apparently having grown incredibly bored with human's silence the second angel climbs down from the tree-although calling it a climb isn't quite accurate but Kira really doesn't give a damn anyways because this dream is freaking annoying and-

"He's a lot more quiet then the last one, Shiro."

The bino angel cackled before pulling out a glittery golden scroll from who knows where and unrolled it

"When ya break the heart of one person ya must mend the heart of another," he looked up to make sure the human was listening before continuing "Ya walked out on a man ya claimed to love 3 months ago without any care or regard for his feelings. Ya didn't once stop and think about the kind of effect it might leave on him did ya?" 

"It was a mutual agreement. We both decided to end the relationship when he got Rangiku-san pregnant with his child."

"Tch and that's why you humans are idiots!" The blue haired angel pulled out a glittery green scroll (in the same fashion as the albino had done) and read

"You don't go and give up the one you love just because he's decided to go and get cozy with a nice set of tits. You run the bitch over with your car-after the baby is born of course-we angels don't believe in killing the innocent-then at the funeral you-

Kira may not be too fond of the ginger blonde man-stealer known as Rangiku but he could never bring himself to wanting to seriously harm the woman.

How the hell could these two be angels they were more like d-

"Demons?" both angels grinned as if reading the humans mind.

"Nah been there done that, bit of a funny story actually, have to tell you it some time."

"We could make it his reward or somethin'-call it a stocking stuffer angel style-be sure to bring ya tissue boxes with ya though blondy cuz' let's just say Grimm and I were pretty damn kinky back in the day."

Um okay that was too much information-Kira so did not want to hear about what former demons turned angels used to do during their mating sea-

"Mating season?" Grimmjow scowled "Do you enjoy encouraging stereotypes Alice-chan or are you really that fuckin' dumb?"

"My name is not Alice-chan you overgrown d-a-whatever you are and what was I supposed to think?"

"First of all," Shiro held up his first finger "Two alphas do not equal hot and steamy nights in Barcelona," he held up his second finger only for the Grimmjow to stop him-

"You needn't go on, our bunny boy here looks like he's ready to faint."

"Hehehe a bit to much for you Kira-chan."

"Shiro, enough. Let's get to the point of why we dragged you here eh bunny boy?"

"Yes why did you drag me here?"

"This isn't about you blondy, this is about Ichigo."

"Ichigo?" Blond brows furrowed "I don't understand."

The two angels shared a look before redirecting their attention to the human.

"Are you so self absorbed that you don't even know who Ichigo is?"

Well this wasn't exactly a fair comment to make in Kira's opinion. After all the name Ichigo wasn't exactly unheard of-pretty common actually and he himself knew about 5 or 6 people baring the name Ichigo so-

"Which one?"

The blue haired angel looked like he wanted to strangle him at the moment-the powdered one had to hold him back-

"Easy Grimm I'm sure our blondy here is just jokin' aren't ya Kira-chan?"

"Um well no I'm not. Perhaps if you gave me a bit more information I might-

A silvery white brow twitched "We're talking about the only Ichigo that matters of course."

Still not exactly helpful. The blond felt lost.

"Meaning-

"I'm gonna gut you if you don't stop asking such retarded ass questions Alice!"

The way electric blue eyes were narrowing, the way the angels' muscles were twitching-

Shiro stepped in between the two of them pushing the blue haired angel away from the human "Calm ya ass down pussy-cat ya can't really blame him-I mean Kira-chan just hasn't been the same since he let his heart freeze over, worse than the Grinch this one is."

"I am not a Grinch!" Kira was not a screamer nor an overly dramatic sort of guy but he did not appreciate it when others made up lies about him-especially angels-seriously where the hell had these guys fallen from anyway?

And not that it was any of their business but Kira loved the holidays.

He enjoying putting on an apron and baking cookies, bringing out the ladder and hanging Christmas lights, dusting off his ancient snow gear and going for a trip to the ice mountains and of course like most 22 year olds the blond loved to party.

The only thing he did not like about the holidays was the way couples mooned over one another.

He didn't care for corny and cliché endearments, didn't care for grand proposals or expensive gifts-nope he preferred to spend his holidays as a free man-

"Or so you try to tell yourself even though every night before you climb into bed you break down and bawl like a little bitch."

"I do not-I am not a b-!"

"Yeah, yeah save your dramatics for your beloved Gin-sama. We are not here for you. We are here on behalf of the brat." 

"And since ya little birdy brain can't figure it out on ya own Grimm and I'll spell it out for ya." 

Again with the scrolls? Where exactly were these angels getting these scrolls from anyway? Kira wished to ask.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, age 22, 5'9, blood type A, orange hair, brown eyes, and single most perfect ass ever molded, does not care much for conforming to the rest of societies wishes, often seen with a scowl on his face, fiercely protective over family and friends. Teaches English literature class 2D and when he's not throwing chalk or rulers at the disobedient brats known as students he spends his time in the teachers lounge trying to escape the grabby grabby hands of his fellow colleagues."

"How exactly do you know all this personal stuff?"

Grimmjow grinned, "It's one of the perks of being the brats guardian angel."

These guys were Kurosaki's guardian angels? Really?

Kira kind felt sorry for the guy.

"Hisagi Shuhei, age 24, 5'11, blood type hm there's seems ta be a smudge her ah well moving on, black hair, gray eyes, controversial tattoos

Kira had to roll his eyes at this-he knew Hisagi-san pretty well and the black haired male had told them that the 6 and 9 on his face had absolutely nothing to do with what the majority of what the population thought it meant-but there was no sense in pointing this out to the powdered angel so he let him continue-

"He failed at his dream of becoming a punk rock musician and fell back on his second career choice in physical education-although we all know the true reason he was hired is because the headmistress has a fetish for tight abs and perfect biceps-

"The head mist-you don't mean Hiy-?"

"It would be best not to speak her name, you never know who might be listening in but yes, her."

Out came another scroll "Barely reaching 5'5, blonde hair, hazel-brown eyes, fanged front tooth, foul mouth, seems to have a difficulty talking at a normal volume with or with out that horn she insists on carrying around-Dreams of b-

"Um no it can't be Hiy-I mean the headmistress isn't like-

"Think about it bunny boy didn't you ever find it a little too much of a coincidence that the majority of your fellow staff members either look like they stepped out of GQ or Sports Illustrated." 

"Well there's nothing wrong with keeping in shape-

"Anyway before we get entirely off subject here let's get back to the true meaning of why we have come to you."

"I will not let a whole 'nother year go by watchin' King drown himself in spiked 'nog."

"Drowning in egg nog is such a thing even pos-?"

"Once again you are missing the point Alice in Uber Land-You see the King or the brat as I like to call him," a grin "He likes to act like he doesn't care but I know he does."

"Care about what? Holiday traditions?"

In total déjà vu motion a white boot came flying towards Kira's face but this time around the blond knew well enough to duck-

He glared at the bino angel "Stop trying to attack me!"

"Then stop acting so fucking BLOND!"

"What does my hair color have to do with anything?"

Shiro snorted before pulling a single cigar from the pocket of his robes and Kira was once again reminded that he most definitely was not in the privacy of his own home anymore-or even on planet earth from that matter when smoke started coming out of the cigar as the angel puffed on it without having lit it with a match or lighter.

"Guess I'll take over from here and let Shiro sulk for a while,"

The bino angel threw the middle finger up at the blue haired angel and the turned his back to them.

Were these angels trying to go out of their way to break every stereotype in existence?

"Alright I'm gonna make this as simple as possible: Kira Izuru, we the loyal guardians of the Hybrid gates, need you to play the ultimate match matcher. Your mission is to knock Ichigo out with a drug or an item of your choosing, strip him bare and make sure that he is nestled safely under Shuhei's tree."

"Um I'm not-are you sure I mean would Kurosaki and Hisagi-san even be compatible?"

"You never know unless ya try bunny boy." Shiro had apparently stopped sulking and rejoined the conversation. "So hop to it, there's only a few days left til' the 25th of December and time's a wastin'."

TBC

_**Bottom notes: The real story starts next …consider this setting the scene or a prologue or something. **_

SLY


	6. TREE PART ONE

**DISCLAIMER: Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to create such an amazing series-sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be famous-but who needs fame when I have fanfiction. I DO NOT OWN BLEACH!**

A/N I have a bad habit, no scratch that I have many bad habits one of them is writing more than one potential suitor for the berry.

_**For: Totoromo,**_ though I can't possibly dream of presenting ShuxIchi in the brilliant light that you yourself have done, I can certainly give it my best go!

Characters in order of appearance: Kira, Shiro, Grimmjow, Ichigo, Shuhei, others.

Pairings: Eventual ShuheixIchigo, other pairings mentioned

Warnings: AU, OOC-ness, crack-plot, language, spelling, grammar, punctuation, day dreams, switching views, etc..

_Summary: With one very determined blond and 2 "angels" there's no way Kurosaki Ichigo or Hisagi Shuhei will have a dull Christmas._

**#6**

**NESTLED UNDER YOUR TREE**

1/?

Kurosaki Ichigo was not a heavy sleeper so when he heard the sound of footsteps in his house the natural instinct to protect came to the surface of his mind.

His cousin Kon is asleep downstairs, no doubt dreaming about the lovely ladies dancing in the soft green meadows in nothing but short mini skirts or whatever-completely oblivious to the possible danger in the house.

Ichigo wasted no time in thinking about it, throwing back his covers, slipping on his house shoes and grabbing the nearest item available (a broom) not the best but it would give the thief a good bruising or two if he hit the bastard hard enough.

A noise that sounded a lot like glass shattering puts the 22 year old on high alert-Ichigo throws open his bedroom door and races down the stairs-

()()()

Tripping over the umbrella stand when a bright light shines in his face, momentarily blinding him.

Another set of footsteps reach his ears and Ichigo concludes that the sounds are coming from the kitchen.

()()()

As Ichigo stumbles into the kitchen to question/confront the attacker he asks himself why he hasn't even bothered to turn one of the numerous lights in the house on.

Quickly deciding to change this, broomstick still raised in his right hand, Ichigo uses his left to flip the nearest switch placed just above the old fashioned telephone hanging on the wall.

It is not a thief or thieves for that matter who are invading his home at this ungodly hour but two angelic beings that Ichigo knows very well.

Looking more like two naughty children with their hands caught in the cookie jar-the albino one, Shiro who was previously eating cereal straight out of the box paused mid air and the blue haired one, Grimmjow also froze in his place on the ground-he had been in the process of licking spilled milk off the floor when the orange haired human entered the kitchen.

Ichigo's left brow twitched and he crossed his arms over his chest demanding to know "What the hell are you two doing here?" 

The two angels can't help but-snicker-ah the boy (he'll always be a boy in their eyes) all he needed was curlers in his hair and an old fashioned night robe and he would complete the angry housewife image he was presenting.

The duo grinned at him.

"Isn't it obvious, we're here to visit our most favorite berry King, right Grimm?" As the bino angel said this he licked his sugarcoated fingers.

The blue haired angel deemed it safe to continue where he left off with the milk before adding "That's right brat, so how's the weather treating you? Got any plans for the holidays?"

Ichigo wanted to scream. And start throwing things. But if he did that he'd wake Kon and he really rather not have to explain that he wasn't really talking to himself or thin air but two pain in the ass guardian angels who had been with him for as far back as he could remember.

_The orange berry could recall brief moments even while he was a new born babe as his mother would rock him in her arms and sing him to sleep-two beings with wings would sing along with her-he remembered her gentle voice as she told him that they were angels-angels sent to the earth just for him-angels who would never leave his side even if something should happen and she one day had to leave his side. _

_Even at that young age when he had barely begun life he somehow understood what the woman was telling him-knew his time with her would not last for ever-but it did not make losing her any easier-_

_Ichigo could recall it as though it were only yesterday-a harsh rainstorm-he was bouncing up and down in the back seat singing along to the song on the radio-his beloved Kaa-san was driving-as careful as ever-when it appeared-and in blink-she was gone._

_He remembered blaming himself (hell if he was going to be honest he still blamed himself long after he had accepted that death was a way of life) blaming himself because he just had to go to Rukia's birthday party-he had to be the first one to be there-the first one to give the raven-haired girl a present-he had to be the first because that's what best friends do-he knew his mother wasn't feeling well that day, knew she had a headache and still he begged her to take him-begged her to get out of bed and drive even though she was on medication that could cause drowsiness-he ignored goat face-felt the man should make himself useful for once and take care of Karin and Yuzu instead of trying to get between him and Kaa-san's one on one bonding time._

_Yes because of his selfishness he had ripped an amazing woman, wife and mother away from the world-because of his selfishness Karin had buried most of her emotions and became a tomboy-not that there was anything from with tomboys but the older Karin became the more she became confused about her role, her identity in society and it was all his fault. _

_Then there was his other sister Yuzu-she'd gone the opposite route, buried all child like thoughts/notions and turned into a miniature version of his mother-which wasn't a bad thing either except because Yuzu had matured so fast she had fallen for a man that was 10 years older than her. Not that Ichigo or goat face for that matter let the bastard anywhere near her but that wasn't the point. Ichigo had ruined his sisters-all because-_

"No sense in dwellin' on the past over an over Ichi-King, ya know ya Kaa-chan is still watchin' over ya."

Ichigo glared at the bino angel. "Damn you, get out of my head!"

Shiro snickered, "Me thinks the berry doth protest too much, ya say ya don't like it when I poke 'round ya brain but-

"I don't," Ichigo's glare intensified "I'm serious why are you guys here? Couldn't you have least waited until tomorrow or something?"

"No can do brat," Grimmjow was finally up off the floor and wiped the milk mustache on his blue robe before continuing "It's tradition, Shiro and I always pop by one week before Christmas."

"Why?"

Not that Ichigo wasn't happy to see them but he wasn't really in the mood for the angels silly games-every time Grimm and Shiro dropped in it spelled well…nothing bad per se but Ichigo just didn't have the energy or their patience to pl-

"We're not here to play brat," A predatory grin, "Much as I really want to old man Yama would shit fire balls before he'd let me near you in that way."

Shiro let out a sigh and sat down at the small table placed in the center of the kitchen "Boy ain't that the truth, sucks havin' to follow the rules but trust me when I say this King, the moment ya drop outta this world ya belong to me."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. Shiro and Grimmjow always said shit like this.

"I'll be sure to greet you both at the pearly gates in nothing but rainbow striped speedos."

Both the powdered and the panther-like angels eyes glazed over just then.

A few moments passed. Ichigo was trying to decide if he should get a wet rag to wipe off the invisible drool on Grimmjow and Shiro's chins or if he should use the wet rag to pick up the broken glass-

The orange haired male let out a small hiss when a shard cut into his skin-the two angels were instantly at his side-

Grimmjow carefully removed the shard and threw it into the trashcan and then commanded Ichigo to sit down while he went to the bathroom to fetch some bandages.

The powdered angel used this opportunity to inspect the damage "Ya fuckin' dummy what do ya think ya doing bleedin' all over the kitchen and not even for a good reason." Shiro grabbed the dripping digit and put it in his mouth much to Ichigo's annoyance and embarrassment.

Yep even after all this time his guardian angels could still make him blush.

()()()

"So I know you guys didn't just drop by to ring in the holiday cheer why are you _really_ here?"

The trio was seated at the small table sipping hot chocolate. Ichigo was tiered and really didn't want to keep dancing around and around all night.

"Why do you think we're here?" came Grimmjow's teasing tone.

Ichigo blew into his cup before taking a sip, after a moment or two he set the cup back down and hissed out "Enough either tell me why you had to wake me up and make a mess all in one night or get out!"

"Aww come on King don't be like that, we missed ya, woulda dropped by sooner but Yama-ji had us dancing through twice as many hoops this year."

Ichigo let out a sigh and took another sip. "Fine. So you're here, I'm here what now?"

"Well that all depends brat, got any plans lined up for the holidays-a date or two perhaps."

Ichigo scowled. "I don't have any interest in dating."

"Oh really and why's that King?"

"You know damn well why!"

Yes Shiro and Grimmjow did know but they wanted the orange berry to say it out loud.

"Just how long has it been exactly?"

"Don't know, don't care," he shrugged it off as if it didn't matter but the two angels knew better.

"You know you can't lie to us brat, so you might as well just tell us what happened."

Ichigo decided to play dumb. "I don't know what you're talking about but can we finish this bonding or whatever tomorrow I really just want to go back to bed." 

"Ya say that King but again ya are lyin'-we know damn well that you'd wish tomorrow would never come."

Shiro was right but Ichigo wasn't going to admit it.

Hell he could barely admit it to himself.

What the hell had he been thinking anyway?

Agreeing to letting his ex come and stay with him just because he was going to be in town?

Did he like to torture himself? Did he find some kind of perverse pleasure in adding to his own misery and heartache?

Could he honestly spend a week playing host to an ex lover and that_ thing_ that hung off his ex's arm?

He could barely stand to be in the same room with the bitch let alone smile and laugh with her-and yet he had agreed-not only had he agreed he actually admitted that he was looking forward to seeing Toshiro.

He actually let his mind drift for one foolish minute and believed that maybe just maybe his ex had realized the error of his ways, dumped the bitch and was really coming back into town to pick up where they had left off.

They could start over-it wouldn't be easy but it would be worth it-

"Don't do this to ya self King, forget about him." Shiro's voice was completely serious.

Ichigo knew the powdered angel was right but it wasn't that simple-a part of him still loved Toshiro, a part of him would probably always love his ex.

"You can do better brat, why drown yourself in the past full of false declarations of love and empty promises when you should move forward and find some one worth loving."

Ichigo shook his head-wishing to just shut the two angels out-wishing they would just leave him to-

To do what exactly? Steam? Sulk? Cry?

Why the fuck should he cry over a lost love-no calling it a lost love was not accurate!

It was a love that was stolen-ripped away from him on that hot day in August-

The rosy-cheeked, brown eyed temptress-Hinamori Momo

'The bitch!' He clenched his fists, still furious after all this time…

Ichigo couldn't recall ever wishing to strangle someone so much as he had on that day when he walked in on the shameless choir girl having sex with his boyfriend…

_**FLASHBACK**_

_At first Ichigo tried to chock it up to being his overactive imagination-lack of sleep-nightmare that sort of thing._

_Toshiro would never cheat on him!_

_But as the scene continued to play out-as the sounds of high pitched cries "Shiro-chan, harder-more!" and the answering moans of "Mmm god Momo you're so-so perfect." And other uber cliché and over the top declarations shouted out during the heat of the moment-_

_The girls' legs were spread wider than a good time holiday hooker-her dainty arms wrapped around Toshiro's neck, pulling the snow-haired man closer._

_The image made Ichigo's gut churn-never once had his lover let him cling to him like that even while they had been in the deepest throes of passion-never once had his lover looked at him with the kind of eyes that he was looking at Hinamori with-never once had Toshiro pounded into him almost hard enough to make him black out-Toshiro had never let him play with his hair or lie on his chest-hell Toshiro didn't even like to cuddle-_

_Ichigo wanted to believe that what he was seeing was really just a horrid nightmare but he knew it wasn't so when the slut had taken notice of his presence in the room and smirked at him-mouthing the words "Take a good hard long look because this is the last time you'll get to see __my__ Shiro-chan."_

_Ichigo thought about reaching for the packet of matches that he carried on him from time to time-wished to set the bed on fire-but not before he ripped the shameless whore off his lover and dragged her out kicking and screaming by her ugly mousy brown hair. He wanted to throw the bitch out the highest window (which wasn't very high at all but it would still break a few bones) _

_Maybe he could push her out into traffic and w-_

_()()_

"Snap out of it brat! That bastard isn't worth it!"

"Sorry guess I got caught up in th-

"Caught up in the past again?" Shiro shook his head "Stupid King when are ya gonna learn that ya can't change what happened, it is what it is-

Ichigo scowled. "It's your fault-you just had to-

"It is not our fault brat, you need to let it go."

"Whatever."

()()()

The trio had moved their conversation back up in his bedroom. Shiro was perched on the windowsill, Grimmjow lounged in the bean bag chair and Ichigo lay on his back staring up at the ceiling not really thinking about much of anything.

"So any other plans aside from playing host this week?"

"Rukia and Inoue want to drag me to this ballet or play or something I don't really know what they expect me to do there it's not like I understand the Russian language-not like it matters though since I already said I would go." Ichigo explained.

"What day?"

"Huh? Oh it's at night actually, the 21st at 8:30pm I have the ticket around here somewhere."

"What else?"

Ichigo sat up so he could reach for the mug sitting on top of his dresser, he brought it to his lips before answering "Renji's been thinking about this big winter festival carnival or something-not really sure on all of the details but Chado and Ishida are planning to go as well-wouldn't surprise me if Nel and Tatsuki showed up as well.

But anyway Renji had another 'love spat' with Grantz so he's currently crashing at Luppi's place-which is kind of dumb in my opinion since he knows that pepto-haired drama queen gets insanely jealous and can't stay away from him for long." A snort, "I don't even know what the hell they were fighting about this time, curtains or napkins or something."

Ichigo paused to take another sip before finishing "Still can't believe those two are actually gonna go through with it, a wedding all the way on the other side of the globe."

"Nothin' wrong with gettin' hitched King-ya should think about followin' suit one day."

Ichigo snorted, "Right, no thanks."

'_**Never again will I let another man make a fool out of me.'**_

"Enough beating around the bush. When's the last time you had sex brat?"

Ichigo nearly spit out his hot chocolate.

The two angels snickered and he glared at them.

"Bastards."

Grimmjow grinned, "_Your _bastards and you wouldn't have us any other way brat."

Shiro mirrored the blue haired angel. "Exactly. Now hurry up and answer the question."

It was just Shiro and Grimm but still Ichigo never felt comfortable discussing his sex life (or lack there of) with anyone-privacy was very important to him.

Not that he had much privacy to begin with when his guardian angels were watching him all the time-oh yes the orange berry knew-he knew that even when the duo didn't drop by in the winter season they were still keeping tabs on him-since it was not only their duty but also their favorite past time.

"I don't know, half a year maybe, maybe more, less, I don't really care about that sort of thing these days."

The angels frowned. It was worse then they had been led to believe.

They knew the orange haired human had shut his heart out but to completely shut down his sex drive was just beyond tragic.

'_Well maybe not completely, surely he still-_

"Right so you haven't felt the urge to get all hot and sticky but you still jack off right?"

Ichigo shook his head. "What's the point?"

Grimmjow and Shiro shared a look that went unnoticed by the human.

"Don't make me smack you brat! It's a necessity of life."

Ichigo shrugged and continued sipping his chocolate. "You don't like my answer, you shouldn't ask in the first place."

"We ask because we care King."

Another careless shrug and Shiro had had quite enough.

He was beside the berry in a flash. "Listen Ichigo I know ya don't really wanna spend another holiday alone so I have a plan."

Ichigo turned towards the bino angel not really knowing why he was prompting Shiro to continue. "What?" his voice was wary

Before Shiro had a chance to answer Grimmjow jumped on the remaining empty spot on the bed wrapped his arms around the human. "Stop frowning brat, we're here to make your holiday better not worse."

"Fine. So spit it out already. What's this uber master plan of yours?"

The angels shared a grin. ""We're going to get you a reindeer."

Ichigo looked at the two like they were the single biggest idiots in existence and then turned over on his side. "Don't break anything else on your way out, night guys."

()()()

_Dreams did not always follow a direct pattern. \_

_It would be a hot summer day in July-he would be lounging out by the pool side-no the lake-yes the lake up in-no not a lake near the beach-he would be out on the water surfing-or more like attempting to surf since he wasn't really sure how to-no surfing didn't hold all that much appeal since he had no desire to be smashed by harsh waves._

_Instead he would be up in the sky looking down out the cool blue waters from his hang glider-_

_Yes but his hands would grow tiered of holding on and he would feel his fingers slipping, one by one until finally he let go and plunged deep into the sea._

_On his way down perhaps he'd crack his head on one of the rocks before hitting the ocean floor-fall into a state of unconscious-not waking until many hours later-the sound of seagulls overhead, grainy sand clinging to his skin-back on dry land._

_With a beautiful water creature hovering over him-tangerine strawberry locks spilling over its shoulder blades and down it's back-_

_At first he thought his savior to be one of the legendary mermaids told in fables and fairy tales all through out time but then he took note of the creatures lack of breasts and non-feminine voice and came to the conclusion that a merman had come to his rescue._

_A merman who was now glaring down at him-eyes fierce-peach tinted mouth twisted, arms crossed "Did you really hit your head that damn hard or are you just an idiot?"_

_He wasn't really paying attention to the sea creatures words-much rather kiss the scowl off of those perfectly moist lips-much rather run his hands along the creatures sinfully sweet looking body-rather then being put off by the shiny fins it fascinated him-turned him on-he wondered what would happen if he-_

"_Don't touch there!"_

_The merman's protest did not match the way he was swaying his shapely hips, did not match the way pressing closer-creating a delicious heat and friction-did not stop the human from becoming hard-_

_He paused for a moment wondering how he could proceed with a sea creature-then as quickly as the thought entered his mind it left and the dream shifted_

_()()_

_No longer out at the sea shore-no longer with the merman but instead in out in the middle of the soccer field with pants down around his ankles-a moist hot mouth wrapped around his engorged length-tangerine strawberry locks (shorter this time but still as soft) fisted between his fingers._

_Breathing heavily, he almost reached his peak when…_

_()()()_

"Gotta say for an alpha male ya certainly have a wide range of beauty products."

"Who said that?"

"Didn't mama ever tell you not to fall asleep in the bath tub?"

Hearing voices. Jumping at unknown or strange sounds. Looking over his shoulder before jumping out of the tub so fast he practically falls on his ass. Batting at the snickering air-narrowing gray eyes at the mirror, the sink, the toilet seat-

This is not the kind of behavior that a man like Hisagi Shuhei usually inhibited.

The dark haired man realized it may have been the holiday for spirits but he didn't understand why they would be haunting him while he bathed.

"What do you want?"

A high-pitched cackle was the only answer Shuhei received before a towel and a change of clothes was thrown at his head.

"Hurry up and get dressed lover boy, we have things to discuss."

()()()

Angels. Sure Shuhei had heard and read about them while growing up but he found it hard to believe that they were in his living room-that they had been in his bathroom.

The temptation to reach out and touch a wing-to give it a tug confirm if it was in fact attached and not a costume-

"Try it and I'll rip off your favorite appendage." It didn't take a genius to figure out what the blue haired angel was referring to especially as his matching electric blues narrowed right at the dark haired humans crotch.

"Let's try and play nice for King's sake, Grimm and just tell bubble bath boy here what we have in store for him."

The bino angel seemed more laid back in comparison but then again it could be an illusion for all Shuhei knew-especially with the way the angels' golden eyes glittered.

Still there were far worse things Shuhei had encountered in life-to run and flee from angels would be shameful.

His late instructor, Tousen Kaname would come back from the grave and curse him.

And as much as Shuhei missed the man who had guided him all through out his teenage years he had no desire to be in the presence of an angry ghost, so he turned the tv on low (just for back round noise) and leaned back on his sofa acting like he didn't have a care in the world "So angles huh? Are you here to create miracles or grant wishes?"

The powdered angel was the one to answer "Well granting wishes is more of a genie kinda thing but I suppose we can make an exception for you,"

"With in reason of course." The blue haired angel added.

Shuhei made himself more comfortable as he considered these words, "With in reason huh? I think I can work with that."

There was a moment of silence and then.

"There's this tree."

"A tree?"

Keeping in character Shiro and Grimmjow did not let on that they knew exactly which tree the dark-haired male was referring to-instead they urged him to continue.

"Mm hmm it's not your standard Christmas tree, no this tree is special."

()()()

Shuhei had three rules that he always followed.

Number one) Never wear the same shoes twice in a row.

He had a whole closet full of shoes so wearing the same pair twice was not likely to happen.

Number two) Never raise your hand to a woman. Always treat her with the utmost respect.

_Shuhei grew up in a middle class neighborhood in a 2-story house with two mothers (his father had run out on him when he had still been in diapers-couldn't handle that his wife much rather have their cleaning lady in her bed rather than him so he fled-) and although they spoiled him rotten they also taught Shuhei that men and women should be treated with the same amount of respect._

Number three) Always make the most of the holidays.

_He had always been a fan of the holidays. When he was 8 years old, Shuhei loved to run out in his long johns and hiking boots and hunt for raccoons-he never actually found any but did come across the occasional possum or deer during his adventures-The deer fascinated him-one Christmas he asked his birth mother if he could pet the creature-she forbid him of course but he still went ahead and did it anyway. And in the end she laughed as he ran after the deer in his bright red winter coat and snow boots shouting_

"_Rudolph get back here and let Santa ride you."_

At the time it was cute but if Shuhei said such a line here in the present he'd either be locked away or accused of being an animal abuser. And he was neither. In fact Shuhei loved animals-especially foxes, wolves and dogs.

_When Shuhei was 13, 2 twin boys had moved in next door and taught him about igloos, fishing and punk rock music. There father was a small time recording artist and their older brother was off in Europe touring with his band. _

_Shuhei instantly fell in love._

_And he asked his mother to if he could take guitar lessons-the woman had declined saying he needed to focus on his studies not music but the following winter he received his first guitar-not that it did him much good since he couldn't play but he was excited none the less-and Shuhei's excitement grew even more when the following morning a man showed up at his front door-announcing _

"_You wish to learn how to play, then I am here to teach you."_

_Shuhei could tell right from the start that there was something different about his new teacher and so that night at dinner he asked his mother_

"_Why does sensei where sunglasses in doors?"_

_And the woman had answered "Because he's blind, Shu-kun."_

_To which Shuhei had thought about it for a moment and then shrugged "He's still an awesome guitar player."_

"_Yes he is." The woman had then smiled and ruffled his hair. _

_()()()_

_And so Shuhei learned how to play guitar (not just rock music, many different genres) and shortly after he found a new love-girls._

_Yes Shuhei had quickly found that music and girls went hand in hand. Where there was one the other would not be far._

_He discovered that depending on what kind of music he would play would bring about different girls from different back round-each one attractive in their on special way._

_At 16 though having slept with half of the girls in his grade as well as some of the older girls-he grew bored and so one day after soccer practice instead of heading for the vents in order to spy on the girls, Shuhei set out for a new adventure-well okay calling the boys locker room a new adventure wasn't quite accurate per se but every other time he'd been in the locker room he hadn't stopped to compare and contrast his body to the other guys-hadn't stopped to linger a little longer than necessary-didn't stop the sudden urge to reach out and pinch a perfectly rounded butt cheek-_

_Yes Shuhei had been rather amused to find that some guys seemed to squeal louder than half the chicks he had been with-and so he had found his latest love-following a similar pattern-wooing the guys with his charm, looks and insane music skills._

_Yes he had been shaping up to be a GRADE A PLAY BOY and he had been damn proud of himself-breaking hearts almost as quickly and easily as he had captured them._

_Okay he had been a jackass but it was part of growing-he learned-it took awhile but Shuhei's actions eventually caught up with him._

_Having 2 dates lined up on a regular night was bad enough, having 2 dates lined up on Christmas Eve? _

_SUICIDE._

_Though in Shuhei's defense when he agreed to go out with Zura he didn't know that his cousin was Miko so it was a bit over the top when together, the cousins pushed him over the balcony (granted it wasn't a very high balcony but he still fractured quite a few bones) and pushed his car off the bridge because he was quote 'a lying bastard who deserved to rot in hell for playing them both at the same time._

_Yes lying in that hospital bed for what felt like an eternity had truly sucked out loud but at least he had time to focus on his music once more-this time he would create his own-figured it couldn't be that hard. Then maybe he find himself some band mates and go on a tour._

_()()_

He had been a bit of a dreamer back then-not that there was anything wrong with dreaming but reality did not land him in the big fancy mansion with a wife, a mistress, a call boy and a prized Dobermans.

But he no longer desired such things anyway.

Number three was the most important rule on Shuhei's list. He refused to spend the holiday season alone. And he knew exactly who he wished to spend the holidays with this year-and quite possibly in the years to come.

He usually wasn't the kind of man to think long term-not that he had an issue with commitment-not at all it was more like he refused to take himself completely off the market until the perfect one came along.

Realistically Shuhei knew there was no such thing as a perfect anything/anyone but there was close to perfect-oh yes he had come across the close to perfect man about a year ago to be exact-

_**()()()**_

_**FLASHBACK**_

_Shuhei had been walking down what he believed to be an empty hallway when a bright orange flash collided with him in a typical 'write me a love song' fashion-heads smashing, papers falling, coffee spilling-_

_Leaving both parties momentarily dazed._

_Shuhei couldn't speak for anyone but himself but once the pain from the collision wore off and he was just left with the liquid (thankfully not hot) dripping from his hair and down into his face (not that it mattered much since he was in need of a shower anyway) he was captivated by cinnamon and coffee colored orbs. _

_And suddenly he wished to take back every nasty or sarcastic comment he ever made about soul mates, destiny and love at first sight. _

_He took note of the seemingly natural bright orange lashes lowering just then before the stranger bent down-noted how the tight blue jeans seemed to be a perfect fit, showing off an incredible ass. And Shuhei felt his own pants tighten and was rather grateful that he was wearing drawstring pants at the moment._

_And was a bit taken a back when the guy stood back up, brilliant eyes flashing and a rather nasty glare on his boyish looking face._

"_Do you have a staring problem, dumb ass?"_

_Okay not exactly the best first impression but an impression all that same-_

'_**Let's see now how should I respond to this?'**_

_Shuhei raked his eyes over the stranger once more taking all the details in and felt like quite the dumb ass when he noticed the backpack hanging over the orange haired male's shoulder._

'_**A transfer student with a nasty attitude and quite the mouth on him-should probably be taught a lesson in respecting his elders but lecturing isn't really my style-plus it seems like it would be such a waste to-**_

"_Stupid Hisagi! I told you to stop mauling every new staff member you come across, I'm trying to run a school here."_

_Shuhei blinked and turned to the new comer. It was the headmistress, Sarugaki Hiyori (although how some one as young as her had become headmistress in the first place he still didn't understand) not that it mattered he was more curious to know how long she had been there?_

_Then sound of footsteps and then blonde was right behind them. _

_Making Shuhei jump._

_He heard a snicker and looked to find the orange haired stranger with his hand over his mouth._

_Indeed to an unknowing eye it probably looked rather amusing when a woman who barely reached 5 feet was reprimanding a man who was almost 6 feet._

_He glared at the blonde woman. Why was she making him sound like some kind of pervert? He hadn't even touched the youthful looking male. He had some morals-_

'_**I mean for a few seconds I thought I was dealing with a student-in which case I wouldn't have-**_

_Pain bloomed on his right cheek-he didn't know how she always managed to do it-catching him off guard with her shoe-smacking him-_

"_If you're horny go hump a one of your blow up dolls (smack smack smack) or whatever but stay away from the (smack smack) berry head!"_

_Berry head? Shuhei raised a brow._

"_Kurosaki Ichigo," the orange haired male put out his hand just then waiting for Shuhei to shake it before continuing, "I'm the replacement sensei for class 2D."_

'_**Interesting.'**__ Just as Shuhei was about to explain who he was Hiyori attacked with her shoe again-only this time he wasn't her target-_

"_Stupid Ichi! I thought I told you to wear a suit and tie on your official first day of work."_

_The orange haired male grabbed the shoe out of the blonde's hand and snapped out "Stop treating me like a kid Hiyori! I'm 2 years older than you and besides which: a suit and tie doesn't make a good teacher, good teaching does."_

_As the orange berry and the blonde midget griped back and forth with each other Shuhei watched on with clear amusement-deciding that he definitely wanted to learn more about this Kurosaki Ichigo._

_()()()_

_But when he set out to sweep the orange berry off his feet things didn't go as smoothly as he had planned._

_One thing or another always seemed to get in his way._

_Getting orange berry alone proved impossible._

_()()()_

But not this year no this year Shuhei didn't care what it would take.

Ichigo would be his.

()()()

When Kira woke up a few hours later he was sincerely hoping that the angels and the task they had given him we're just part of some elaborate dream-but the way his head was still throbbing from the round house kick told him otherwise.

So with a sigh he climbed out of bed and readied himself for the day.

()()

Around noon he stepped away form his own classroom leaving his stop student in charge (something that the headmistress would surely kick his ass for if she found out later) and step off down the tall way not stopping until he reached the end.

Class 2D.

What horrors lie behind this very door?

TBC


	7. TREE PART TWO

Disclaimer: Nothing crafty or clever to say you should already know I do not own BLEACH!

A/N It continues…aiming to break clichés one fic at a time.

For: Totoromo next time I'll time this better and have it ready on an actual holiday.

Warnings: AU, OOC, language, spelling, grammar, punctuation, ShuheixIchigo, Past ToshiroxIchigo, Kira, OthersIchi, crack themes, etc…

Nestled Under Your Tree

Kira knew he shouldn't believe rumors but what else what he supposed to think when a new replacement was hired to teach class 2D each year? Well okay technically the 'curse' had broken when Kurosaki showed up-he wondered how the orange haired male did it?

How did he keep a class full of misbehaved 'rebels' and 'delinquents' in line?

It was stupid. Why was he stalling? When he knew damn well that he had a mission to complete.

()()()

Inside said classroom instead of teaching his students about the Odyssey like he should have been doing, Ichigo was doodling away on his notepad lost in thought.

Just a few short hours ago Toshiro had called him again-his snow-haired ex announced that his flight had been moved up and both he and Hinamori would be back in Karakura Town tonight.

And before the younger male had hung up he'd decided to confuse Ichigo even further by saying

"_I'm looking forward to seeing you. We have a lot of things to discuss."_

He knew he shouldn't let it get to him-knew he shouldn't get lost in the past once again-shouldn't let his mind to think of happier times with Toshiro but he just couldn't help himself.

There was no one quite like Toshiro he was unlike anyone else Ichigo had ever met or known.

Granted It wasn't all sparkles and roses from the start-Toshiro didn't even like him-actually when he first came across the snow-haired male it was during a particularly harsh winter storm…

_()()_

_Tears falling from the corner of his eyes, making the scratches on his face sting, Ichigo ignored it all as he ran down the stairs and out into the night._

_The bitter wind whipping his shoulder length hair in his face, it had come loose from its ponytail while his girlfriend had been attacking him._

_()()_

_She had been drinking again, under a great deal of stress and he was the target she had chosen to take her anger out on-_

_Ichigo had tried to reason with Apache, telling her that violence was not the answer-she had responded by clawing at his face with her acrylic nails (something she would never have dreamt of having up until a few short weeks ago when their relationship began its downward spiral._

_Ichigo had tried to get his girlfriend to tell him what was wrong-what happened? She refused to answer and lashed out at him. It started with verbal attacks, she'd sneer and say thinsg like_

'_My tabby cat could do a better job satisfying me than you could.' Or 'I don't know why you're wasting your time, you obviously don't have a clue what you're doing down there.' Or 'I should've been the one born with a penis at least I'd know how to use it!'_

_Sure her behavior and comments might seem amusing to the annoying person but it wasn't amusing. Apache's comments were cruel and degrading and Ichigo had wished to flee!_

_But at the same he was not a coward and he would not strike back at her-instead he stood by and tried to tell himself that things would get better._

_He had been fooling himself and she lashed out at him even more._

_()()()_

_Then tonight the icing on the cake…Apache had finally lost it! _

_Letting her fork and knife clang against her empty dinner plate-she stood up and started to rant-rant about her co-workers and how much she couldn't stand them-then the rants turned into yells and the yells turned into full blown roars._

"_Why doesn't Halibel-sama acknowledge me?" she shouted before throwing her empty plate at the wall-missing his head by just an inch._

"_What does that stupid bitch Sungsun have that I don't have? I've busted my ass, done everything in my power and its still not good enough," this time her wine glass went flying (when she had started to drink he wasn't exactly sure but its not like he could lecture her, Apache was older than him by 5 years) "It's bullshit, complete and utter bullshit, all of it."_

_()()_

_Ichigo tried to hold her, tried to comfort her, tried to do everything in his power to make her calm down but she shoved him away and laughed in his face, eyes flashing with insanity as she reached for the kitchen knife, which had carelessly been left out on the counter once again, she pulled back the sleeve on her loose knit sweater and his eyes grew wide with horror-_

_He grabbed her, more firmly this time and pried the knife away from her hands_

"_This isn't the answer Apache, please don't-_

"_SHUT UP!" she roared once again "You don't know anything-you," she sneered "You and your stupid leather bound books, and your poetry and your dead mother, you should have just went with her instead of crying like a baby and clinging to your security blanket you should have been a man and joined her," more poisonous words spewed from blue painted lips "But you didn't because you're not a man-she twisted in his hold and then when she was able to get one hand free she clawed at his face "You're no man-you're nothing!"_

_And Ichigo shut down-he knew he should be trying to block or dodge her attacks put it didn't matter-so she clawed and clawed away at his face and it wasn't until there was so much crimson every where when at last she pulled away and he fled._

_()()()_

_The screeching of breaks which could only belong to an owner who was driving a car, which seemed to come out of nowhere pulled Ichigo back to the present moment-_

_Just an inch or two away from becoming holiday road kill-Ichigo couldn't decide if he was relieved or disappointed-didn't have much time to dwell on it when…_

"_If you wish to commit suicide then do it elsewhere. I have no desire to clean blood and feces off my car."_

_The headlights still shining in his eyes, Ichigo couldn't make out the man who had nearly run him over "The least you could do is turn those damn things off before you lecture the guy you almost murdered."_

_The engine stopped, the lights went off and footsteps tracking through the snow could be heard._

_()()_

"_I would offer my hand and help you stand but I'm not so sure I want to risk my own health by coming in contact with a man who looks like he was just attacked by an army of coons."_

_Ichigo glared at the figure and then stood to his feet, smirking ever so slightly when he noticed the flash of annoyance behind icicle blue eyes._

_He towered over the guy by a good couple of inches._

_()()()_

_Only to find out that height didn't mean a damn thing when the guy brought him back to his house, patched him up and then bent him over and fucked him on the balcony later on that very same night._

_()()_

"Sensei?"

"Ichigo-sensei!"

Ichigo snapped out of his little trip down memory lane to find his students looking at him like he was an alien from another planet or something."

"Turn to page Thr-

"What are you talking about sensei? There's someone at the door."

"Door?" Ichigo blinked stupidly.

"There's another teacher at the door. Honestly how long are you going to make him wait?"

Ichigo still didn't quite understand.

"Are you feeling alright Ichigo-sensei? You've been staring off into space for 20 minutes now and haven't even told us to open our books."

Ichigo frowned.

"I have?"

"Sensei maybe you better lie down in the nurses office and let me take over today's lesson."

Ichigo shook his head and smiled at the girl seated in the front row.

Unohana Retsu. His top student.

Technically the girl shouldn't even be in this class since her intelligence far surpassed not only her peers but most of the staff as well but Hiyori (she's was his third cousin, hell if he'd call her headmistress!) had placed the girl in class 2D because Retsu much rather spend her time practicing her nursing skills (she came from a family of doctors) instead of doing her homework. She also needed to work on her social skills.

"That won't be necessary Unohana-chan I'm perfectly capable of-

_**Knock knock knock**_

"Should I get the door sensei?"

Ukitake Jushiro, another highly intelligent of his.

Jushiro had been placed into Ichigo's classroom because of his poor attendance record and the boys' best friend, Kyoraku Shunsui had decided to tag along.

Shunsui's girlfriend, Ise Nanao had followed suit and more often then not the young couple spent their time passing notes to each other in class, although from the looks of things Nanao wasn't speaking to Shunsui at the moment.

A shadow came over Ichigo's desk just then.

Last but certainly not least, Zaraki Kenpachi. Several heads taller and ten times more muscular then the average male student.

_Indeed when the boy had first stormed into Ichigo's classroom in the middle of last year the orange haired male had mistaken the newcomer to be a janitor or something. He certainly hadn't expected for the boy to shake water out of his spiky locks before slapping a transfer paper on top of the desk._

_The black-haired boy had looked at Ichigo with the kind of eyes that no child should have-as though he wanted to eat him._

_Thought it surely had to be some sort of prank for there was no way this beast could be a student until_

"_Where should I sit?" A guttural raspy voice questioned_

"_You can sit next to Retsu, Unohana-chan please raise your hand so the new student can see where he needs to sit."_

"_Actually I've got a better idea," the beast of a student grinned at Ichigo "Why don't I just sit in your seat and you can sit in my lap __**Ichigo-sensei."**_

_No student should even know how to purr like that-no student should make Ichigo burn and shiver like he was at that very moment-no student should-_

_()()()_

"If you're really not feeling well _Ichigo-sensei_ why don't you let me take you home?"

Ichigo wanted to slap himself.

'_**What the hell is wrong with me getting lost in yet more memories?'**_

()()()

Kira wondered if he should be concerned. He'd been knocking on the door for a good 20 minutes and yet no one had answered or opened it.

He heard voices but couldn't make out what was being said.

Perhaps the devil children had taken it one step further and tied Kurosaki-sensei to a chair or pushed him out the window or something? Maybe they had stripped him down to his underwear and started cutting designs into his skin with their rusty pocket knifes and-

"Quite the imagination ya got there, blondy."

Kira cursed. It was the angel Shiro but what was he-

"What am I doing here? I'm here to make sure ya don't mess up of course."

"I'm not going to mess anything up. You were there at Hisagi-san's house earlier this morning-you saw what happened-listened to my ideas-this is the first step in catching Kurosaki's-

"Ichigo, to you he is Ichigo and you better tell bubble bath boy the same thing, Alice-chan."

The blond human briefly wondered how the blue haired angel managed to keep his teeth so pearly white when he was constantly chewing on gum or candy of some sort.

"Fine, Ichigo then, we've all agreed that I'm going to approach him and-

"Shh someone's coming."

Kira turned around only to find that the angels were messing with him.

Shiro snickered "Just keepin' ya on ya toes bunny-boy."

"Anyway," Grimmjow's arm came around him just then, "We don't have much time before the brat realizes what's going on so I just wanna pass you this."

The blond accepted the small slip of paper and blue eyes scanned what was written there

"Is this an address?"

"To an airport, yes."

The blond furrowed his brows not understanding "An airport? Why are you giving me an address to an airport?"

"Never mind that Alice-chan, just make sure your boyfriend Shu gets it."

"My boy? Hisagi-san isn't my-

"What's it matter?" A shrug "That's the role ya and bath boy decided to play in order to catch King's attention, not sayin' it'll work but it's worth a shot."

"Wait a minute! You're his guardian angels right if you have a better idea why don't you tell me what it i-

"No can do blondie-'sides you already went ahead and broke one of the rules-you break the rules-we alter the mission, that's all there is to it."

"I didn't mean to break any rules but Hisagi-san isn't stupid he would have been on to me the moment I asked him if he had any special plans for the holiday. Plus it's not really in my nature to lie and sneak around and-

"Yeah, yeah we don't care about any of that now. You just better make damn sure you give the brat a damn good holiday or I'll shove my shoe so far up your ass it'll make you sing hallelujah."

Kira sighed. Wishing this all really were some horrible nightmare and at the end of the tunnel Gin would appear on a bright multicolored flying serpent and take him away-

He pocketed the card and pounded on the door this time.

()()()

The knocks became louder and Ichigo had at long last come out of his stupid daze and went to open the door.

()()()

Ichigo didn't know Kira Izuru all that well-just that the blond taught on the opposite end of the hall and was the same age as he himself was.

"Sorry to interrupt Kurosaki-san but there's something I wish to discuss with you."

Figuring the day was basically shot to hell anyway (his students thought he was high or suffering from some sort of disorder) Ichigo left Retsu in charge and then followed the blond out the door and over to the teacher's lounge.

()()()

Now that the opportunity was officially here Kira was having doubts-wasn't sure he'd be able to go through with it. Thought any moment Kurosaki would catch on and demand to know what the hell was going on.

But as they entered the teacher's lounge the orange haired male didn't show any signs of suspicion or discomfort or anything.

On the contrary-Kurosaki pulled out a chair and sat down.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?"

Kira swallowed-trying to ignore the strange urge that was threatening to overcome him suddenly-it wasn't anything extreme-

A stream of sunlight had come in through the curtains-casting a glow on sorts of the orange haired male-the blond was suddenly on high alert, taking note of the other man's almost unearthly sort of beauty.

And when Kurosaki stretched his arms above his head-causing his ridiculously tight shirt to rise-a thin strip of peach skin exposed Kira nearly lost it! He'd always had a bit of a fetish for sexy tummies and-

For a moment-just for a brief moment the blond wished to abandon his mission-just for a moment Kira felt a heat rise up-the hidden seme in him which had laid perfectly dormant during his time with Gin was ready to free its self from its cage again. The blond wanted to forget about everything else and just pounce on the orange berry!

He scooted closer to the other male and placed his hand on top of Ichigo's wrist, rubbing the ridiculously soft skin, a purr dripping from his lips "How long have we know each Kurosaki-san?"

"Er not very long, actually I don't know you at all Kira or do you want me to call you Izuru?"

The blond smiled and winked "You can call me whatever you like so long as you let me call you _Ichigo-kun_."

()()()

Ichigo didn't really know what to make the current predicament he found himself in.

Didn't know why the blond was suddenly coming on to him-didn't know why he wasn't shoving the blond away. It's not like he couldn't over power the blond-not like the blond had him pinned down or anything-

'_**And if he did would I push him away?'**_ Ichigo asked himself.

But he couldn't come up with an answer because he just wasn't sure.

It's not like hooking up with Kira would be a bad thing-the blond was cute and its not like he was a teenage boy back in high school-they could possibly maybe just have some fun?

Possibly.

Ichigo wasn't lying when he told his guardian angels that his sex drive had more or less been pissed out the window-so sure the blond was cute but he didn't feel anything when Kira touched him-didn't think much when the blond moved closer-didn't encourage or discourage the other male from loosening his tie or reaching for the zipper on his pants-instead Ichigo just sat there and let his mind drift yet again-

He'd found himself in a similar position back when he was just figuring out this whole 'I might quite possibly be gay' thing…

()()()

'_**Where the hell is Hisagi-san?**_' Kira wondered. 'If he doesn't hurry up and get here soon I might really-

"Cool your jets bunny boy, he'll be here any minute."

Kira did not want to know how the angels could communicate with him yet remain invisible-he did not want to know why a small part of him wished the dark-haired man would stay away awhile longer.

The blond decided to shift his focus elsewhere-although blowing a stranger wasn't exactly something that was unheard of he didn't think the orange haired male would appreciate it much-especially since he was apparently lost in thought.

A small part of Kira felt offended by this, perhaps he was going about this the wrong w-

"WHAT THE HELL?"

()()()

On a regular day Ichigo was usually more aware of his surroundings but today was not a regular day.

First he spaced out when he should have been teaching, then he spaced out again when the blond had been trying to put the moves on him-spaced out so much that nothing could have prepared him for…

A jealous lover storming into the lounge just then-gray eyes darkening as he zoomed in on what looked like a rather compromising position.

Of all the scenarios the orange berry ever dreamt up being caught in this was not it.

And in his defense he hadn't even done anything-it was all Kira's doing.

He looked at the blond hoping the guy at least had enough sense and decency to explain to his angry lover that he had come on to Ichigo-not the other way around.

But the blond just smiled serenely acting as though he didn't have a care in the world-

"Oh there you are Shu-kun, what can I say I was tiered of waiting around for you so I found someone new to play with.

I believe you've met at least a time or two, Shu-kun meet Ichigo-kun. Ichigo-kun, this is my wonderfully sexy boyfriend Shu-kun."

()()()

Shuhei would have given Kira props on his grand acting skills. He was impressed-honestly didn't think the blond had it in him.

And yet even though they had gone over the plan, details and all, even though he himself had written the dialogue he felt a seriously unhealthy jealousy streak come over him.

He did not like seeing the blond so close to his orange berry.

Did not like that the orange berry wasn't even really paying attention to him. He wasn't sure what the younger male was doing or thinking about but Shuhei was one step away from calling the whole thing off.

"Don't even think about it bubble bath boy, hurry up and say your line."

His line. Right.

Shuhei prided himself on his even temper-even if it was an act-he was not looking forward to lashing out at either male.

It just wasn't his style but according to the angels-this type of scenario called for dramatic outbursts full of foul language shaking fists and sometimes bloodshed.

Making one of his friends or his crush bleed?

Held no appeal for the dark-haired male whatsoever.

Maybe he could flip this record-change the tune.

()()()

He could blame it on his bad memory or his lack of concentration-blame on his lack of sleep-blame it on the sunlight shining in his face-yes Ichigo could blame it on a number of things or he could simply admit to himself that at the end of the day when it was all said and done he still craved another man's touch.

But not just any man's touch. Not if this were the case Ichigo would have reciprocated rather than sit there like a lump on a log as Kira tried and failed to seduce him.

No.

Ichigo liked to think of himself or his body rather as though it were a particularly stubborn candlewick that would take a special match in order to light.

He knew he really should not be having these kinds of thoughts right now-not with the blond clinging to him like sap clings to a tree-not with the blonds' lover looming over the both of them-deep gray eyes whipping at him like a violent hurricane-

'_**Hurricane Shu'**_

Hisagi Shuhei, Ichigo didn't know much about the guy aside from the basics like: The dark haired male taught physical education, coached the boys' baseball team and chased anything in a skirt. Never would have pegged the other male to be gay or bi for that matter-Shuhei didn't seem like the type. And he never would have guessed that Shuhei was dating Kira.

Ichigo thought himself to be above coveting another man's treasure-thought himself to be the kind of person who wouldn't even dream or consider getting in between a happy couple.

But as those dark eyes continued to whip and burn, as the man's tattoos seemed to become further pronounced as the muscles in his face tightened-that particular blue stripe made him look like a warrior or a tiger-

Yes a tiger-well then again Ichigo had always had a bad habit-he tended to compare people's faces and or bodies to animals-

Now really was not the time to be drifting away-now was not the time to consider throwing the blond off him just so he could reach the blonds' lover-just so he could reach the man-tiger.

Ichigo's fingers twitched-the nerves in his body telling him to reach out and just grab Shuhei!

()()()

Yes Shuhei had been fully set on spinning the record to his own preferred tune but found himself faltering when brown eyes found their way to his gray ones-

At freaking last!

He half wondered if he might be dreaming again-but no Kira was still very much there and unlike him the blond had remained wonderfully in character and-

()()()

Did he really have to do everything by himself?

Any desire Kira might have felt for the orange berry had fled-now the blond was growing irritated and uncomfortable-blue eyes looking back and fourth between Hisagi-san and Kurosaki.

Wishing one of them would say or do something-anything!

"Relax bunny boy, some times stories write themselves, let's just see where your boy Shu intends to take it."


	8. TREE PART THREE

Disclaimer: Clever is as clever does: LOVE YOU LOTS KUBO-SENSEI!

A/N it's a short chapter but its just up to show you all that this story has not been canceled. If all goes well it should be up oh before the end of the month.

For Totoromo: It's okay to yell at sly for taking so freakin' long to finish this you know.

Warnings: AU, OOC, spelling, grammar, etc

Pairings: ShuheixIchigo, others

NESTLED UNDER YOUR TREE

Ichigo's fingers twitched-the nerves in his body telling him to reach out and just grab Shuhei!

()()()

Yes Shuhei had been fully set on spinning the record to his own preferred tune but found himself faltering when brown eyes found their way to his gray ones-

At freaking last!

He half wondered if he might be dreaming again-but no Kira was still very much there and unlike him the blond had remained wonderfully in character and-

()()()

Did he really have to do everything by himself?

Any desire Kira might have felt for the orange berry had fled-now the blond was growing irritated and uncomfortable-blue eyes looking back and fourth between Hisagi-san and Kurosaki.

Wishing one of them would say or do something-anything!

"Relax bunny boy, some times stories write themselves, let's just see where your boy Shu intends to take it."

()()

The sound of a ring tone pulled Ichigo away from the hurricane and back into reality.

"Are you going to answer it, Kurosaki-san?"

Kira had moved off his lap-not only moved off his lap, the blond was back to formalities it seemed.

Ichigo shook his head not wishing to meet those bright blues at the moment-didn't wish to see the hatred/jealousy looming there-not that Ichigo could blame Kira-he'd be pretty fuckin' pissed too if he caught another man ogling his lover.

He flipped his phone open and then pressed it to his ear "Yeah?"

_**((Change of plans again-Hinamori decided to catch a ride with her sorority sisters so it'll just be us two tonight. Do you think you can come pick me up from the airport I really don't have the energy to deal with moronic taxi drivers.))**_

"Uh sure I mean I guess."

_**((Before you come to the airport make sure you go home and change, I made reservations at the- wait a minute I hear breathing-who else is with you in the room right now-it sounds too deep to be one of your students?"))**_

Was that jealousy Ichigo was detecting in his ex lovers tone but why?

Ichigo considered how he should respond.

A small part of him wanted to mess with Toshiro's head-just so the snow-haired male could see what it felt like to look like a fool but another part of him couldn't help but smile at the thought that he'd have his ex to himself for a whole night without that bitch getting the way.

Deciding he would respond honestly Ichigo opened his mouth only to have his phone yanked out of his hand

"Ichigo can't come to the phone right now for you see his mouth is about to be filled with my tongue and splendid at multi-tasting though he may be I'm a selfish bastard and I want his mouth all to myself."

_**(("What! Who is this?')))**_

_**()()**_

Up until this moment in time Ichigo thought kissing was overrated.

He couldn't understand all of the movies and novels that gushed on an on about infamous or classic or epic kiss scenes-couldn't understand when a few of his friends claimed that kissing was better than having sex-considered more intimate.

_Apache's kisses had been too dry-sometimes he would fake a cold just because he didn't feel like rubbing his mouth against sand paper._

_And Toshiro's kisses had been too wet-if Ichigo wanted to be slobbered and drooled on then he would have dated his mother's prized Alaskan sled dog, KJ-short for Kariya Jin-his Kaa-san had a not-so-closet love for soap operas and night time dramas and that man was her favorite celebrity-she loved him so much that she goat face went out and purchased her a dog she named it after the man. _

_Ichigo thought it was a little ridiculous but then again he was 22 years and still slept with a mountain of plushies so who was he to judge?_

_Not that any of that mattered-what mattered was Hurricane Shu and his mighty tongue._

_Ichigo would have snorted at his thoughts but was a bit too occupied at the moment-_

_Shuhei was skilled-the man had technique-that much was clear-it was firm and assertive enough to show that he was clearly a passionate creature but it wasn't selfish or demanding-Ichigo couldn't really properly explain it-but he could feel it-_

_**((HELLO? HELLO!))**_

_**Oh right Toshiro was still on the line-shit shit shit!**_

Ichigo realized his mistake-his big mistake-he let out another curse and pushed Shuhei away and wiped at his lips furiously as if to erase the evidence-

Orange lashes lowered he turned to Kira-the blonds' face was unreadable which probably meant now would be a good time for Ichigo to block his face-although really he didn't even have that right-if the blond broke his jaw or gave him a black eye well the orange haired male knew he deserved it.

_**(HELLO? IS ANYONE THERE?) **_

Ichigo knew he should he really should take the phone back from the dark haired male but he couldn't just finish his call with Toshiro when he had to-mentally berating himself for acting like a stupid coward Ichigo met Kira's baby blues "Listen Kira I'm so-mph!"

"Shh," a hand around his mouth and a voice at his ear, a low husky timber-almost made him a little dizzy in the most delightful of ways-he didn't notice Shuhei had closed the distance between them again until it was too late-

DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!

"There's nothing to apologize for Ichigo. Kira and I aren't really together. We just wanted you to think that we were so you would-

Orange brows furrowed and Ichigo yanked Shuhei's hand away from his mouth and asked the blond "Is this true?"

Now Kira was the one to look guilty.

What was going on? Ichigo replayed the events in his head-the blond came on to him-following this the dark haired male showed up-he was pissed-the blond not so much-and then-

Ichigo shuddered best not let his thoughts continue down that path it would only matters worse.

Besides it didn't matter if Kira hadn't seemed to care at first Shuhei clearly did or well before he shoved his tongue down his throat and-

It was too much-why were the damn holidays always such an effing headache?

"Well Kurosaki-san to be perfectly honest you kind of looked like you needed a little holiday romance to wipe that frown off your face."

Ichigo bit back a retort of 'Look whose talking-you look like your constipated 24/7'

Cinnamon and coffee browns darted back and forth between baby blue and stormy gray and when neither man made any further attempts to give a better explanation or apologize he elbowed Shuhei in the ribs, grabbed his phone, shoved his way past Kira and stormed out of the room.

A charity case?

A fucking charity case! Is that what they-

Deep breaths there was no fucking reason to get worked up over a bunch of morons who apparently never learned how to grow the fuck up.

()()

Ichigo hadn't picked up a pack of smokes in 2 years but after that he needed one but first things first call back Toshiro and apologize-or well not apologize but explain what happened-wait why the hell did he owe his ex an apology anyway-?

Fuck!

Ichigo banged his head against the steering wheel and then slammed the door to his car not giving a damn that he hadn't even let his engine properly warm up-he needed to get away from here now-!

Ripping out of the parking lot at a dangerous pace-ignoring the harsh squeak of the tires or the way his car itself slid sideways on a stubborn patch of ice-

One hand trained on the wheel he used his other to turn on the radio-cranking the volume up to a deafening sound-Kaa-san would be so disappointed in him but he just didn't care right now-

()()

Shuhei wasn't really irritated-well he was-because Kira didn't have to actually go ahead and touch what was his-and Kira didn't have to-"What the hell was that?"

"You're asking me?" The blonds' tone was incredulous "We agreed that you would reveal your feelings we never said anything about you practically eating his face off."

We, we what the hell was all this we shit? Was it possible that Kira-

Shuhei shook his head-that was stupid-Kira didn't really want his strawberry-no he was just-his jealousy was-

But they had looked awfully close when he walked in and he hadn't missed the way baby blues had glazed over-hadn't missed eyes burning into the back of his skull when he greeted the orange haired male the best way he knew how-Shu-style.

He couldn't let on his true feelings-now was not the time to drama-Kira would just-so Shuhei did what he did best-played it cool-

"Well okay it didn't quite go the way we planned but," a grin "I received a positive response and really that's all that matters right?"

A positive response indeed the strawberry had been like a hot human inferno in his arms-

'_And to think I didn't even get around to the good stuff.'_

_()()_

If Kira wasn't known for his patience he would have punched Hisagi right then. "Positive? Positive? You call Kurosaki blowing out of here like a bat out of hell a positive response?"

Shuhei grinned lazily and scratched absently at the tattoo on his cheek "It's all in the body my friend."

Kira crossed his arms and glared at the dark haired male. "Well I'm glad you seem so sure of yourself-I'll leave it to you to tell his guardians that."

"No need. We saw the whole thing."

Kira would have jumped except he knew the angels were already there.

He turned to them-feeling a bit of pink rise to his cheeks as golden eyes pinned him-a smirk playing on the bino angels lips as if to say _'Yes you bad boy I know exactly what you were thinking and about to do.'_

Blond lashes lowered and Kira forced himself to remain right where he was. "So what now?"

"Well I'm glad you asked Alice-chan." Gold eyes glittered "You're coming with me while Grimm," the powdered angel motioned to his blue-haired companion "And bubblebath boy go after King."

()()

_**((You mind telling me what that was all about?))**_

Ichigo put out his cigarette butt out on the window and answered

((_Just some moronic staff members. I don't even know them that well.))_

_**((Hmm)**_

_((Toshiro?))_

_**((Yes?))**_

_((You were saying something about an airport earlier?))_

_()()_


	9. TREE PART FOUR

Disclaimer: GIVE ME A **K-U-B-O-****S-E-N-S-E-I ** WHAT DOES THAT SPELL? KUBO-SENSEI!

A/N Toshiro demanded more of a role in this…please don't hate me for still failing to complete it, I am getting there but well…sighs well here's the thing I have a large chunk written its just a matter of typing it and yeah….

I don't really get why you like my bizarre style** Romo** but I'm flattered!

Warnings: AU, OOC, Spelling, grammar, punctuation, dialogue, etc

ShuheixIchigo, past ToshiroxIchigo, others

UNDER YOUR TREE

Aside from Ichigo of course, Grimmjow really didn't care all that much for humans and if he had it his way he would have drowned Hisagi Shuhei in the nearest lake but then of course the angel remembered that the freakin' lake was frozen over so that left option 2.

Proceed with putting the lil' bastard in his place.

"Give me your keys."

"The hell I'm going to give you my keys-this is my car!"

Electric blues flashed but the human only yawned as if bored.

"Is that supposed to scare me," Shuhei's tone was mocking "Perhaps if you flip this car up side down or throw me out of it without actually using your hands I might find your little bamf-act believeable-

The blue haired angel ground his teeth together 'Damn you Shiro!'

He should have known it was trick when the powdered bastard claimed Alice-chan would be the more stubborn one of the pair.

"Listen here bubble-bath boy if you don't hurry up and give me your damn keys you can forget all about ringing in the new year with my brat."

Shuhei snorted and flicked a stray lash at the angel. "With or without your interference Ichigo will be mine!" He reached into the dashboard compartment and frowned when he couldn't find what he was looking for.

"Looking for something?"

Being an angel definitely had its perks and Grimmjow had every reason to grin as he held up the dark haired males' beloved disc.

"Give me that!"

Grimmjow ignored Shuhei and read the title: "Squeeze your melons? My how original," his voice was filled with sarcasm "How long did it take you to come up with this title I wonder?"

Shuhei rolled his eyes "I wrote it when I was 15 of course its not very good but it's catchy and just give it to me or I'll pull your tail!"

"Try it and I'll cas-

"Yeah, yeah so you keep claiming but really a guy like y-no excuse me an angel like you is all talk and no s-mmmrr!

Blood gushed out of Shuhei's nose just then as his the angel slammed his face into the steering wheel-

"Don't think for one second that you can talk to me anyway you like you little shit!" Grimmjow wiped the blood stain on his white and blue robe and sneered at the little bastard-then grabbed the keys and tossed them out the window.

He was a fucking angel and he damn sure didn't need keys to start an engine!

Shuhei popped his nose back into place and glared darkly at the cocky angel. "Don't even think I won't return the blow."

"The only thing you'll be blowing bubbleboy is m-

The angels face was like marble and Shuhei hadn't even made a scratch but damn it felt good to shut the guy up-at least for a few minutes.

Angels didn't bleed easily and because Grimmjow was a former demon turned angel he bled even less-still "Heh, I'm a bit impressed, maybe you're just what my brat needs after all Shu-boy."

A moment or two passed…

"Where are we heading anyway?"

Grimmjow popped a piece of gum in his mouth and then replied "Airport-hope you brought your boxing gloves bubble boy cuz you just might need em' when you face the snow globe midget."

No Shuhei hadn't brought his boxing gloves-actually he hadn't boxed in years and even at that time he was well mainly horsing around-blowing off steam with his friends.

()()

Kira knew it was probably dumb to fear for his life (especially while in the presence of an angel) but he couldn't help it-the bino seemed to have a difficult time controlling his temper.

The blonde was sure any minute now Shiro would kick him again-even though he hadn't even done anything.

"Why exactly are we breaking into someone's house-I thought we were going to find a way to bring Kurosaki and Hisagi-san closer?"

Shiro cackled "Told you before Kira-chan one good deed deserves another and while its true that you didn't exactly follow along with the plan ya did as well as any blond could have I 'spose and for it you shall be rewarded."

"What does my hair color have to do with anything?"

Shiro patted the blond as if to console the youth "So blond, so very blond."

Kira raised a brow at the sharp metal object that had suddenly appeared in the angels 'hand-not for the first time he wondered where the bino kept it all. "You're not going cut me with that are you?"

"Nah, well maybe just a lil' bit but a little blood is good for a blond soul."

"Would you please stop talking about my hair color?"

"If you're gonna go for angst stick your bottom lip out a little more and start growing your hair out another inch or two, Kira-chan."

"What does my h-ouch!"

A snicker "It's okay lil bunny boy-we're all done here."

The powdered angelic being bottled the thin droplet of blood and then pocketed it. Gold eyes shining "Ready for your reward?"

Kira wasn't sure he should actually answer that question-figured even if he did it probably wouldn't make a damn difference.

The cops would surely being showing up in the next few minutes and he'd find himself ringing in the new year with a bunk mate named Sloth.

The blond shuddered at his rotten luck.

()()

"Relax it's not really breaking and entering if you once lived here Alice."

Blue eyes widened in recognition as the not so little white house came into view-seemed after all this time it hadn't changed a bit-the paint was still as faded and chipped as it had been the last time he had seen it-the welcome mat stained with the blood of the dying dog that his lover had tried to rescue-the rainbow striped wind chimes clinked over head-two twin swan statues sat perched on the window sill-Kira felt it even now-like the inanimate creatures were mocking him.

"Surprise!"

"Why have your brought me here?"

Shiro pouted "Aww and here I thought you'd be happy to see your former love nest."

"I am not happy-not knowing that that woman is here."

A snort, "Oh its that woman now is it-before she did have a name."

"Yes well- Kira raked his hands threw his hair-deciding that perhaps the albino was right and he should grow it longer "I don't want to be here."

"Yes you do Kira-chan." 

"No I don't."

"Well ya don't have much choice in the matter, so up you go!"

To say that the angel threw him at the doorbell sounded ridiculous-but that is pretty much what happened-to make matters worse the bino was pressing all his weight into his back-making it impossible for Kira to get away.

After a moment or two-

The door opened and a loud exited and most likely inebriated squeal reached the blonds' ears "Izu-kun what a pleasant surprise, Gin, darling come quick Izu-kun has finally come back home to us."

Us?

What the fuck?

Rangiku didn't actually expect him to-

Kira had a difficult time breathing when the very bubbly woman with a very pregnant belly embraced him with a hug that could probably rival a gladiator-of course he wouldn't voice such a thought out loud-

A snicker in his ear- it was Shiro again- "Course not bunny boy, if ya did that well let's just say woman tend to be ten times more hormonal when their carrying a giant watermelon around."

"Exactly so why the hell did you bring me here?" the blond asked through gritted teeth while at the same time trying desperately not to pass out from the over enthusiastic embrace.

"Tis the season for loved ones of course." The angel replied as if the answer was obvious.

()()

Ichigo didn't care much for airports.

They were too noisy and crowded not to mention the long lines he had to go through before he could even be admitted inside.

'_Really if I was going to blow something up I wouldn't bother with an airplane I would just stick to the old fashioned blowing up the annoying neighbors mail box-right because wounding someone was better than outright killing them-the lesser of two evils.'_

Ichigo didn't know why he readily agreed to pick Toshiro up at the airport but he figured so long as he didn't have to see the choir bitch –no harm done.

He spotted his ex making his way off flight 23 and noted that the snow-haired male hadn't changed a bit-his eyes were as cold as ever and he seemed to be going out of his way to avoid even letting his shoulder brush against another-curling his lips in clear distaste when a little girl who couldn't be more than 5 years old tagged in the lapels of his jacket-

Ichigo couldn't make out what his ex lover was saying but the deathly glare and the way the mother clutched her child into her arms less than a split second later pretty much spoke for itself.

Toshiro never had much patience for children-it was probably because he was often mistaken for still being a child himself-well not a child but a teenager-which wasn't exactly any better-in fact it was worse.

There was only one time that Ichigo could recall when the snow-haired male showed some emotion other than annoyance and disgust when it came to children…

_**Keigo and his new bride Mila-Rose were going out of town for the week and had asked Ichigo to babysit and naturally he hadn't had any objections-figured it would be a lot like watching a dog or a housecat-nothing to it-**_

_**But when he informed Toshiro…well the snow-haired male was not the least bit happy that some brat would be interrupting their time together-**_

_**His foul mood further intensified when Ichigo suddenly received an urgent call from back home-according to Yuzu and Karin, goat face was going through some kind of break down and was threatening to jump off a building so he could be united with his lovely Masaki once more.**_

_**Ichigo didn't have the patience for his father's antics or drama because the man usually pulled/said a lot of stupid shit but as the older brother it was his duty to put his younger sisters at ease and talk some sense into his moronic old man.**_

_**He turned to Toshiro, regretting that their time together would be cut even shorter but sometimes (unfortunately) life went that way-**_

"_**Toshiro I uh really hate to do this but can you watch Sayu for tonight-I need to care of something back home and I should be back tomorrow." **_

_**With these words the orange haired male set the nappy sack (filled with bottles, baby formula, diapers, lotions, creams and what ever else overprotective mothers like Mila shoved inside) on the floor by his lovers foot and then set the drool rag over the other man's shoulder.**_

_**He placed a butterfly kiss on Sayu's forehead babbled some incoherent nonsense and passed her into Toshiro's waiting arms.**_

_**Trying not to think too much on the angry glare his lover was giving both him and the baby. Looking at the innocent bundle as though it was some kind of disease.**_

"_**What the hell do you expect me to do with this thing, Kurosaki?"**_

_**Ichigo collected his coat from the closet "She's not a thing Toshiro and stop calling me by my surname-**_

_**For fuck sakes 4 months had passed since they started dating!**_

"_**We're lovers and because you love me," he smiled "I know you'll take good care of her while I'm gone."**_

_**Ichigo realized that his actions were a bit maternal-not the least bit manly but he had always been a little different from other guys. **_

_**He buttoned up his coat and wrapped his favorite scarf around his neck and continued with, "And be sure to feed Sayu exactly as the handbook instructs or else Mila will have both our heads-oh and Sayu likes music-so if you could play her some music or better yet sing her a lullaby-**_

"_**Out of the question. I don't sing lullabies Kuro-**_

"_**Ichigo."**_

_**An eye roll, "I don't sing lullabies Ichigo, if the runt has trouble falling asleep then I'll just use the ole' whiskey and pacifier trick my aunt used on me."**_

_**Ichigo smiled fondly-glad to see that Toshiro was joking now-it was a good sign. He was relieved to know that while the other man may not be tickled pink about watching a baby he wouldn't-**_

"_**Ow! You little demon let go of my hair!"**_

_**The child only giggled and Ichigo turned and chuckled at the scene. "Aww she likes you."**_

_**Toshiro wasn't even paying attention to him though-the other male was much too bust yelling at the little girl "I told you to let go you little demon!"**_

_**Sayu giggled and tugged on the snow-white strands.**_

"_**Let go or I'll make it so you can never grab anything with those weapons of yours again!"**_

"_**Weapons? Really Toshiro, she's just a baby and grabbing on to things is good for her."**_

_**The snow-haired male grumbled something unintelligible just then and met Ichigo's gaze "You better hurry back soon-no side trips!"**_

"_**I won't."**_

"_**I mean it Kurosaki-**_

"_**It's Ichigo and trust me I'll be back before you know it Toshiro."**_

"_**I can not guarantee that I won't lose my temper and strangle this little demon."**_

"_**She's not a demon and Toshiro I promise just do this one favor for me and I'll-I'll wear it."**_

_**()()**_

_It referring to the seifuku outfit Rukia had given to him last year as a birthday present. Ichigo had never had any intention of wearing it-he expected it to stay shoved in his back closet-never to see the light of day again-_

_But one week ago while he and Toshiro were doing what all happy in love gay couples should do-spring cleaning- the snow-haired man spotted it-and a look crossed over his features (a not so innocent look) as he turned to Ichigo and asked "How come I've never seen you in this?"_

_Ichigo bit back a groan and then grabbed the offensive costume and shoved it back where it belonged-but he didn't miss the determined flash in his lovers eyes which clearly read 'Oh you'll wear it-mark my words!'_

_**()()**_

_**Seemed that time had come.**_

"_**Really?" Frosted blues darkened and there was noticeable husk in Toshiro's tone now-the fact that he had a baby drooling on his Armani didn't even seem to phase him "You'll wear it?"**_

_**Ichigo was about to back out but he really liked that husky tone-plus he wasn't the type of guy to go back on his word.**_

"_**I'll wear it but only inside so you can forget about whatever fantasies you have about parading around town with a sailor girl."**_

_**A smirk made its way on to Toshiro's face "Agreed."**_

"_**I'll be going then."**_

"_**Hurry back soon." **_

_**()()**_

"Still spacing out even at this stage of life, tch really Ichigo you never change."

The orange haired male was pulled from his memories at the sound of Toshiro's voice. The snow haired male sounded as irritated and unimpressed as ever.

Ichigo took in his exes appearance and noted that their were a few changes upon closer inspection-Toshiro no longer went around in his wool trench coat-he had a slight scar above his left brow and he seemed to have grown and inch or two-almost 5'7 now.

"What the hell did you to your hair?"

Much like a girl who had spent an entire day at a beauty salon, Ichigo touched his hair, suddenly feeling subconscious, not entirely sure he liked the look the shorter male was giving him.

He'd almost forgotten- after he and Toshiro had split he went to the nearest salon and told the hairdresser-

'_**Cut it off, all of it-give it to someone who needs it!'**_

_**The hairdresser (who had conveniently been dating Kon at the time) tried to get him to reconsider**_

'_**But why? Do you know how many people would kill for hair like yours? You look like a phoenix its so bright and so-**_

'_**I don't care. I want it gone. I only kept it to honor my mother but I will find a better way to honor her.'**_

_**Why was he telling this woman his personal life Ichigo honestly couldn't say.**_

'_**Look I'm kind of in a hurry so if you could just-**_

_**The hairdresser let out a sigh "Fine, off with the locks but first," she grinned, "Oi Ginjo bring me my camera!"**_

_**()()**_

"It doesn't look bad just different."

Ichigo let his hand fall away from his hair "I just figured it's not very practical you know, what kind of respectable sensei has long hair?"

Not a total lie but not the entire truth either-but Toshiro didn't have to know that.

The snow-haired male was frowning now as if some how displeased with Ichigo's explanation "Hmph still haven't managed to grow any hair on your face though I see."

Ichigo scowled and fired back with "At least I don't have crossing guards offering to hold my hand when I walk across the street."

"BASTARD!" Icicle blues flashed, "Who the hell are you calling so short that he can't get on a rollercoaster with out an adult present?"

Ichigo laughed and ruffled Toshiro's snowy locks "It's good to see you Toshiro."

Toshiro knocked his hand away and Ichigo ducked just in time as a fist came flying towards his face.

He stuck his tongue out childishly while Toshiro grumbled.

A moment or two passed…

"So where's your fan club, a sneer, "I'm surprised they didn't tag along to protect you from this cold angry little man."

Cinnamon and coffee browns grew hard "I don't know need guards-I never have and Renji only said that after you well… you know?"

"…"

Ichigo inwardly kicked himself for bringing up the past. He cleared his throat. "Anyway ready to get out of here?"

The smirk returned to Toshiro's face he stepped into Ichigo's personal space and raised a brow "Unless you're looking to have some fun in the men's room-I don't recommend actually putting your hands on the urinal stall like last time though-lord only knows who or what you might catch?"

"To-

"Although I will admit I'm a bit curious to see if you can st-

"STEP AWAY FROM THE BRAT IF YOUR KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!"

TBC

I SAID THE END OF LAST MONTH DIDN"T I? I swear I don't do it on purpose…deadlines are nearly impossible for me to meet though.

GOOD NEWS IS YOU CAN EXPECT MORE TOMORROW!


	10. TREE PART FIVE

**HERE: WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE BEEN MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR KUBO-SENSEI?**

**AUTHORS NOTE GOES HERE: Angels can be helpful when they wanna be.**

**Written for the authoress of soon to be popular nighttime soap opera, Totoromo…you're missing out if you haven't read her stuff! She knows parody, she's knows drama, she knows humor, she's knows citrus**

Thank you ALL for your VERBAL support… Nestled Under Your Tree

**(Really is one of the like worst titles to date isn't it?)**

So let's just call it TREE from here on out…

"STEP AWAY FROM THE BRAT IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!"

"**No passengers under 5'9 are allowed on this side of the airport."**

What the hell?

Surely had had to be hearing things-seeing things there was no way his blue haired guardian had really dragged Shuhei along into his moronic schemes. Exactly what was Grimmjow trying to do-make Ichigo's life even more complicated-?

In addition it seemed his angel had decided to blend in more and traded in his robes for clothes that looked suspiciously a lot like on of the security guards at the front of the airport-it was any wonder how Grimmjow managed to squeeze that 2 sizes 2 small shirt over his rock hard abs-he didn't really get why Shuhei was wearing a set of goggles though-that was just a little-

Did that mean Kira was around here somewhere too-?

Cinnamon and coffee brown eyes roamed the airport searching for a familiar head of blond but found none.

Which led him to conclude Shiro must have taken the blond somewhere-where that was exactly-Ichigo decided he was better off knowing.

"Ichigo what the hell is going on? Who are these clowns?"

"No one I've never seen them in my life." Ichigo picked up Toshiro's suitcase "Come on let's go!"

He was not in the mood to chat or do whatever it was his angel expected him to do.

Nor was he in the mood to hear Shuhei's stupid excuses or apologies or whatever-When Toshiro made no immediate to follow him when he started walking Ichigo turned back around to find his snow-haired ex being manhandled.

"Unhand me at once you overgrown plebeians!" Toshiro was (understandably) outraged.

Ichigo would have stepped in to help but that would only infuriate the shorter man more and he really didn't like to be Toshiro's ugly side.

He'd give them 5 minutes…after 5 minutes he would-

"Will the owner with the license plate BRY-BRAT please move your car you are parking in an illegal zone."

Shit and now if he didn't move his car it would be towed-fucking peachy!

"Ichigo just give me a chance to explain what happened earlier." Shuhei called overhead-it was almost as if he was doing it on purpose "We need to talk." He let go of his hold on the snow-haired male after receiving a nod from Grimmjow.

Ichigo set down the suitcase and crossed his arms and sneered"I have nothing to say to a guy like-

"Aww come on hear him out brat-look he even brought you flowers."

Ichigo took in the flowers-noting that they were lilacs-it was a pleasant surprise-so much better than the cliché roses-still he wasn't going to let on how much he liked them.

"I'm not a chick!"

So he chucked the flowers back in Shuhei's face and stormed off for the second time that day-

Although he didn't get very far…

()()

Grimmjow raised a brow at his brat's outburst. Being a chick had nothing to do with it-Ichigo had a fondness for flowers because Masaki had had a fondness for flowers.

When the blue haired angel originally set out on this quest (with Shiro in tow) the duo planned to aim a little closer to home, one Kuchiki Byakuya to be exact but then Yama-ji stepped in with his mighty staff and announced that the nobleman was promised to another so given no other choice the two angels went ahead with option 2.

All and all things were working out better than they could have guessed-to keep things balanced Grimmjow and Shiro agreed that relationships lasted longer when there was one beauty and one-well not beast but brawny.

Yes one beauty (obviously Ichigo) who admittedly okay had a bit of a fiery temper and one brawny-Shuhei albeit he was a brawny who spent a little too much time in the bubble bath.

Opposites attract and lalalala.

Grimmjow didn't usually outright attack humans for no reason-he attacked Shuhei because the guy was too cocky for his own good-and he attacked Toshiro because…well the little snow haired midget deserved it.

He had been stupid enough to run off with some equally stupif bi-polar choir girl who couldn't keep her panties on and all because she "quote" understood him-

It was the biggest pile of bullshit Grimmjow had ever heard and when he first received the news he was out for blood but of course being a demon turned angel he wasn't allowed to bring harm upon the little bastard who ripped Ichigo's heart in two.

Didn't mean he and Shiro didn't have a jolly old time haunting Toshiro in his sleep. Oh what fun…he should do it again real soon!

'_And now this little fucker is trying to swoop back in and act like nothing happened and Ichigo is ready to forgive him_,' electric blues flashed, _'Hell if I'm going to let it get that far.'_

"Release me before I call-

"What security? Too late I am security." Grimmjow grinned widely and made it impossible for the frosted shrimp to move another inch.

()()

Ichigo was a reasonable sort of guy. Always had been.

Always would be but he was beginning to lose his patience-first the bastard had taken his cigarettes away from him and now he was sitting on the hood of his car-acting like he owned it-still managing to look deliciously masculine even with the flowers woven through his short feathery black locks (Ichigo did not bother asking-he already knew it was probably the work of a certain blue haired pain in his ass) thinking he could get away with it-well Shuhei had another thing coming.

"Move or things will get ugly real fast."

Shuhei didn't budge an inch only scooted further back and then patted the spot next to him "We're grown men not children, come sit let's chat."

"I don't want to chat!" Ichigo hissed, "I want you to leave me alone, go back to your friend or your lover or your fuck buddy or whatever Kira is to you."

"He's no- a growl of frustration "Look Ichigo I realize you might be a bit confused-

"I'm not-

"Let me finish but its perfectly understandable if your confused-anyone would be when some one they barely know just comes right out of the blue and kisses them but you can't stand there and say you didn't like it."

Red blossomed on to Ichigo's cheeks and he quickly stomped it down and glared at Shuhei "Even if I did what's it to you? I mean other than winning whatever bet you were a part of, that is."

"A bet oh come on give me a little more credit then that, this isn't high school I'm not going to haze you in the locker room and then send you little love texts signed your-

()()

"Secret admirer or some such shit-it not only lacks originality its just lame and I won't have any part in it. No we need to think of a different way to bring King and bubblebath boy closer-start throwin' out ideas bunny boy-time waits for no man."

Kira was unhappy-he had been in the middle of a rather emotional reunion with his silver haired fox and the bino angel just had to swoop back in and interrupt their moment together.

And why?

Because apparently Kurosaki and Hisagi's-sans love lives were more important than his own.

At this rate the blond didn't really care what happened. He twirled a lock of hair around his finger "Well Hisagi-san mentioned this tr…

()()

"-Treat him well but you didn't treat him well did you?"

"I don't have to explain my self to some ex-convict who clearly has more than a couple of screws loose if he honestly expects me to believe that he's an angel in disguise."

Oh how very easy-all too easy it would be to just fucking lose it and snap the little mans' neck in half. Oh how fucking grand it would be to jus-

()()

"-Just plain dumb! I don't know how you captured the hearts of your former flings or whatever but I won't be won over that easily-especially with a third man involved. Not that I'm entirely opposed to the idea of a threesome because I firmly believe in trying at least everything once but hey! Are you even listening to me?"

Shuhei was listening for the most part-no honest he was but he'd become a bit distracted by the amazing scent invading his senses just then-it was sweeter than any perfume or cologne but not sickeningly so.

He couldn't put his finger on it-couldn't even begin to define it-only knew that perhaps it hadn't been such a good idea to ask Ichigo to sit so close to him.

He took the time to really study the younger male-noting every freckle, every scar, every hair, not that there was much-sparse really-fine baby hairs, faint scars which didn't detract from his boyish beauty, a single freckle behind his left ear-barely noticeable unless one (such as Shuhei) was looking for it-

"You're eyelashes are a shade darker than your hair."

"What?"

Shuhei chuckled "And you either wore braces or a retainer when you were younger."

"What I- how the hell did you- orange brows furrowed "You're weird."

A dopey smile "Nope, I'm in love or at least I'm half way there."

TBC

SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW!


	11. TREE PART SIX

Disclaimer: Imagine happy hour with Kubo-sensei oh what fun!

A/N such a positive response -thanks ladies!

It's a wonderful life with Grimm and Shiro is probably what it should have been called. Snorts

Warnings: AU, OOC-ness, all of the above

ShuIchi, Others

()()

**TREE**

In short Grimmjow had grown rather bored with restraining/baby sitting the snow haired shrimp. He figured it was a good a time as any to go and let nature run its course or whatever.

About a good 15 or 20 minutes had passed since Ichigo stormed off and Shuhei ran after him. Based on the brat's previous actions in the past he was most likely glaring but willing to hear the other man out.

Or the duo decided to save the talking for another day and just go ahead and pick up where the left off back in the staff room.

Either way Grimmjow was going to have to put a temporary pause on it because as an angel and more importantly the brat's guardian it was his duty to not let Shuhei get too cozy too quickly.

Although he was getting there the cocky dark haired male hadn't won the angels' official' go ahead green light just yet-no there were still a few things that needed to happen before Grimmjow would give his blessing.

On the down side Ichigo would probably be pissy as all hell at him for sticking his nose in his personal life but in the end (much like always) the orange berry would thank him.

It was tradition.

Not quite sure if he had accidentally put his 'prisoner' into a temporary sleep hold the blue haired angel poked the smaller man.

Receiving a low growl in response and threats of lawyers and other such crap which couldn't harm him anyway-only made Grimmjow laugh-

"You're free to go now. But don't wander too far because if you do I'll know."

It was grand-grander than grand pretending to be an even bigger asshole then he actually was and Grimmjow's grin was as wide as ever as Toshiro smoothed out the wrinkles in his clothes and stormed away-

No doubt on his way to Ichigo-to fuck with the number one berry brats' head some more-

Little bastard wasn't gonna get that far-Grimmjow would make damn sure of that.

But first it was time to have another chat with Shu-boy.

()()

"Ichi can be quite stubborn at times and he so rarely does what his heart tells him to do. He's far more obsessed with everyone else's happiness rather than his own-guess ya could say in away King is his own worst enemy."

It's not that Kira was trying to intentionally piss the powdered angel off-he understood that Shiro had come to him for a reason but he could hardly focus or be bothered by another man's troubles when his own were so much more important.

Sure it might sound a little selfish-hell Kurosaki was clearly a saint or the closest thing to it compared to Kira himself but the blond didn't care-he didn't have any desire to be a fucking saint anyway!

Not with Rangiku san parading around the house with her pregnant belly while his beloved Gin-sama set about preparing an early dinner for all of them-the happy couple making moon eyes and having non-verbal conversations with each other while he sat at the table looking and feeling like an out of place 3rd wheel or worse a neglected little orphan boy-his only bit of company-a winged being with a royal blue tongue who was squirting massive amounts of maple syrup down his throat in between each sentence.

"King and ya are kinda a like in that respect-difference with ya bunny boy is that you eventually go after what you want-he still has to learn that bein' selfish is a perfectly healthy way of life but we aren't here to talk about Ichi's imperfections. We're here to discuss how to get him to fall for Shuhei-a simple moment of lust will not cut it-we're aiming for love-the real deal"

A pause-a powdered hand set down the maple syrup and reached for the powdered sugar instead this time-

What was it with angels having sweet tooths? Or was it just Kurosaki's angels that were like this?

Kira let out a sigh and the angel took pity on him.

"Trust me Kira-chan I know what's goin' through that blond head of yours right now but it won't make ya feel any better-ya don't wanna have a baby-ya don't want to have wake up every mornin' with swollen feet, mood swings, a bleeding ass-you're just gonna have to learn to love this child as if it were your own."

The blond did not want to be lectured so he changed the subject "How is it they can't see or hear you-or hear me answering you back for that matter?"

Shiro grinned-gold eyes sparkling and answered "Simple because I don't want them to."

"That's it?"

Kira wasn't sure what kind of explanation he'd been expecting but-

"What exactly did you expect me to say Alice? I'm a figment of your overactive imagination-didn't work last night-sure as hell ain't gonna work now-

Kira still didn't understand and so Shiro took pity on him again-opening a bag of colorful marshmallows and popping a handful in his mouth before saying "I know things look pretty dim right now but she's a heavy drinker and so she'll most likely kick the bucket in a few yours times-10 tops and then you can have ya Gin-sama all to yourself once more."

Part of Kira felt happy at the angels words even though he knew he really shouldn't have-there was truth behind it-Rangiku's excessive drinking could lead to a premature death-a moment later he frowned knowing that if the ginger blonde did pass away Gin would follow her-

The blond let out a sigh and watched the happy couple once more-tried to imagine himself laughing and joking along with them-tried to imagine sharing the silver-foxes bed with a woman.

Not that Rangiku wasn't attractive because she was but he wasn't even sure he could get hard for her or hell even kiss her but maybe-just maybe

"Maybe is a good place to start Kira-chan, now then about your earlier question."

Kira had to think for a moment before he pieced together what the angel was referring to "The tree that Hisagi-san is interested in-

A nod "I know exactly what he's looking for and where we can find it but before we do that we need to figure out how to catch King off guard-

"Shouldn't we get him and Hisagi-san to speak to each other first before thinking of-?

Shiro cut the blond off and unrolled a scroll that (as always) seemingly appeared out of nowhere "Your boy Shu has quite the list of bed partners-says here he's slept with 3 quarters of Karakura's population-that's a pretty big number. A part of me wonders if I should let Ichi know-the other part-the angel trailed off and let his wide smirk speak for iself.

Kira decided to ask the question he had been meaning to ask since this whole thing first started "You don't sound like you approve of Hisagi-san's lifestyle-actually you don't even sound like you like him much at all but then why are you going through such lengths to hook him up with someone you care deeply for?"

Shiro considered how he should answer the blonds' question without giving too much away.

Then he figured why the hells should he explain anything-a finger was shoved in the blonds' face "Never ya mid that Alice just know that the guardians of the Hybrid Gates would never bring intention harm down upon our Ichi."

Kira frowned. "That's no much of a-

"Moving on," Shiro wiped his fingers on his robe and stretched "We've ruled out anon love notes and locking both parties in the same room together so that leaves-

"No weapons or drugs."

"Hmm how about sandbags then-?"

The blond frowned. "I've heard that even sandbags can sometimes kill."

"Fine then, frozen icicles it is."

"No."

The angel was silent for a few minutes and Kira wasn't sure this could be taken as a good or a bad sign-he decided to distract himself with the checkered table cloth-counting each square-blocking out the noises around him-letting his mind drift to happier times…

()()

Pinned down-trapped beneath a lithe, toned, shapely and deceptively strong younger man with a smaller frame was not an every day occurrence!

Shuhei should be mad-down right pissed-absolutely fucking furious but he found that he was none of the above-quite the opposite- fuck clouds-he was floating on the damn moon!

His lips hadn't tingled this much in years-no scratch that even way back then when he first discovered the joys and pleasures of kissing another and being kissed back-moving-swirling-intertwining his tongue with another's it couldn't compare to here and now-this moment-this moment that would be forever ingrained in his memory-this moment that he would demand to have an encore of and then some.

Shuhei paid little attention to falling snow flakes-the slight wind chill-the out raged squawk coming from the midget with white downy hair.

His orange berry inferno had welcomed his advances (after the right amount of coaxing) and then literally flipped the record to his own preferred tune and pounced!

Passive lovers was overrated-passive aggressive lovers was a much better deal-the best of both worlds really-especially on those days when Shuhei felt particularly lazy and just wanted to sit or lie there while Ichigo worked up a sweat-and the orange haired male most definitely would work those shapely hips and thighs out.

Shuhei became a bit more light-headed at the thought-loving the delicious images springing to mind-knowing-concluding that if his berry felt this hot on the outside he was probably 10 no 20 no 100 times hotter on the inside.

It would be like being incased inside a volcano-if only he could manage to get a hand free he could start a pre-exploration-a teaser of sorts-a single finger would do for now-it would be en-

"Sorry to break up the party but I'm afraid this just can't happen yet."

Without further warning Shuhei's human inferno was ripped away from him and before he could even voice a protest he found himself flying in mid-air courtesy of the blue-haired bastard of an angel himself-only the angel looked even more cat-like-

A snort "It's easier to carry your ass in this form bubblebath boy."

"You-

"Don't even think about struggling trust me when I say it will do you more harm than good."

Okay no Shuhei was fucking furious "What the hell-? You saw we were-I was-

"If you're really as _good a_s the records say you are then you'll have no problem picking up where you left off but for now just shut the fuck up and enjoy the ride."

"Wha-

"I said shut the fuck up-you thought my punch was bad earlier-trust me you don't want get your pretty face any where near my claws Shu-boy."

They were flying at a faster pace now-the airport fading away completely from view.

"What's going to happen to Ichigo?"

"The brats gonna be just fine-he's catching up with the snow-globe midget-they have a few things to work out-loose ends to tie up and what not."

Shuhei wasn't sure he liked the sound of that. Perhaps there was a way to get out of the angels hold and keep all of his limbs intact.

"Don't even try it-you fall from this height and the only thing you'll have to look forward to is waking up to my face every morning for the rest of eternity."

WTF?

()()

"There's only one problem at this time of year the waters are frozen over."

"That's where I come in bunny boy." Gold eyes twinkled "Turns out bein' an angel comes with some perks-I can heat the water just enough to get them on the boat."

"Boats are rather expensive."

Shiro snorted "So?"

"Well I-Kira twisted his napkin "I'm-I was sort of saving up for a trop to-

Shiro wagged his finger in front of the blonds' face "Uh unh Kira-chan, money shouldn't matter when it comes to love."

"But I-shouldn't we speak to Hisagi-san about this first I mean I could-

"What? Get his bank account number," another snort "You're thinking to hard and its not good for blonds to think so hard." The angel pulled out another scroll and placed it in front of the human.

A blond brow raised "Candy Cane Springs?"

Kira had never heard of such a place-

"That's because ya won't find it on an average map-or hell not even a text-

"What exactly are you suggesting?"

"That we push Ichi and bubbleboth to their deaths-? No not exactly we only have to make it l-

"No." Kira's voice was firm. Death was no laughing matter. "There has to be another way."

A powder white brow twitched "Listen bunny boy sometimes-

"I said no."

"Fine then what should we do."

"Well it's a little corny but-

"We don't have all day blondy so just spit it out."

"Well its technically evening now," Kira corrected and the flinched when the angel sent him a glare. He cleared his throat and continued ""But there's that wonderland carnival that comes here every year."

"Heh, King did mention something similar when Grimm and I dropped in last night so…

()()

"So what have you been up to lately Toshiro?"

Ichigo knew if he didn't play it casual-if he didn't act like this reunion with his ex was just a visit between friends then he would have a major problem.

Didn't help that his erection hadn't gone done even after his angel had ripped him away from his Shu-hurricane-he was so going to kick Grimmjow's ass the moment he got the chance to!

Forcing himself to keep his eyes on the road and not let his mind drift to places it shouldn't be drifting-last thing he wanted to do was give Toshiro the wrong idea-although based on the way the snow-haired male had suddenly decided to casually rest his hand on Ichigo's knee before no so subtly moving dangerously close to his inner thigh well…

'_Focus! Damn you don't lose focus.'_

Try, try as he might Ichigo could not quite get his body to agree with his brain.

It certainly didn't help matters that the light had turned red. The orange haired male bit his bottom lip and tried again to play it casual-

"It was a bit of a shock to hear from you-for a split second I expected it to be someone else calling to announce your death or something equally horrific."

Icicle blues shifted from frosty to something softer as they locked on cinnamon and coffee browns "And if it had been would you cry for me?"

"Of course." It wasn't even something Ichigo had to think about it. Despite everything that happened between them Toshiro was still irreplaceable.

"And if I told you that I was dying right now would you pull the car over and blow me?"

()()

"GOAL!"

Despite being a stranger in a strange land Shuhei knew that it was probably better to just follow the blue haired angel even though he really didn't know what the hell happened or where the hell he was for that matter-there was an 99 percent chance that this whole thing was some how tied to Ichigo.

"In short-you're in the past right now-or more specifically walking around in a piece of the past-Ichigo's past-you have questions-you want answers-you're in luck Hisagi Shuhei because today is the day."

The dark-haired male looked at the blue-haired angel but continued to follow him-maybe it was all in his head but he could swear he heard Ichigo's voice a few moments ago…

Curiosity growing Shuhei quickened his pace.

()()

Peeking through the window wasn't really something Shuhei would do under normal circumstances because he felt it was an invasion of ones privacy but it wasn't like he had a choice-Grimmjow made it for him-

"Don't worry about being seen because he can't see you-just watch."

Dressed _**in a gray and orange striped wife beater and ass tight blue jeans-it was in fact Ichigo and he was watching television, lying sprawled out on the soft mint green carpeting, one hand tucked under his chin-the other reaching for the bowl of popcorn placed at his side-swinging his mismatched stocking clad feet**_

_**Shuhei stuck his head through the conveniently open window and a grin made its way on to his face as he recognized what the orange berry was watching a soccer game and seemed to be genuinely enjoying himself-a fond smile stretching peach tinted lips-browns eyes dancing-Shuhei wished he could jump in on the fun-loved the expression the younger male was wearing-although he was a bit surprised to see that the one on screen who excited the berry so was clearly female-**_

_**As if to put his slight worries to rest Grimmjow made his presence known once more as he said, "That's the brat's younger sister-well one of them-anyway in a few years she'll be one of the nations best."**_

_**Shuhei could see why-the girl reminded him of a warrior-the soccer field was her royal arena and Ichigo as her older brother looked so proud.**_

"_**Never been prouder-the brat refuses to take a decent picture but half of his room is covered with pictures of his sisters."**_

"_**Where's the other one-I mean what does she do?" Shuhei asked turning away from the scene for a moment. **_

"_**Ah Yuzu she uh an artist of sorts-likes to work with clay and things but anyway that's not why I brought you to this particular place in time."**_

"_**Then why did you-?**_

"_**Just watch and you'll know."**_

_**So Shuhei turned back to the scene**_

"_Toshiro, come quick come quick you've got to see this!"_

_Ichigo was so damn excited it seemed as though his voice went up another notch-Shuhei thought of only one word to describe it 'Cute.'_

_Toshiro stepped into the room just then looking frazzled-like he hadn't slept in days-bags under his icicle blue blood shut eyes, gravity defying downy hair falling limp__**-**_

_**Shuhei snorted and wish he had his own bowl of popcorn to see how this all played out.**_

"_What have I told you about harassing me while I'm in the middle of an important phone call?"_

_**Shuhei decided he liked the snow-haired midget even less now.**_

"_Kar-_

_An eye roll, "So she won again? What do you expect me to throw some sort of party for you all because your sister can kick a ball into a net?"_

_**Shuhei scowled and wished to jump inside and wring the little snot by the neck-especially when he saw that brilliant light dim from Ichigo's eyes-**_

"_No I just th-_

"_I don't have time to sit here and watch mindless tv with you, if you're that bored why don't you go pester one of your friends or something Kurosaki?"_

"_It's Ichigo and I don't want to spend my day off with them I want to-_

"_Enough! Just do me a favor and don't harass me for awhile," a slight smirk "Maybe if you keep quiet I'll take you out for dinner later."_

_**SHUHEI SAW RED!**_

_**What a fucking asshole! How dare he talk to the orange berry like he's some kind of-!**_

"_**Easy there bubblebath boy, this is the past remember."**_

_**Shuhei didn't give a damn what it was-he wanted to-**_

"_**Take me back or take to where ever Ichigo and that little bastard are-I think its time my fist met his face!"**_

_**Grimmjow did not bother to hide his smirk. **_

()()

Kira wondered if he should be concerned when the bino grew disturbingly quiet-wondered if he should try to head for the nearest exit or up to his old bedroom-at this point he didn't care if a pregnant Rangiku was also occupying it-Gin-sama was more than capable of protecting them both.

As the blond sat and debated upon whether or not he run and duck for cover Shiro's grin grew wider and wider-to the point where it was almost considered demonic-

Then a split second later the angel let out a mad cackle-one that started the poor blue eyed bad enough to fall out of his chair-which only made Shiro cackle louder-

Before finally announcing

"STEP ONE COMPLETE!"

TBC

Right yeah and so the story takes another turn…surprising even sly herself…I wanted to type more but its 2 in the freakin' morning…THANKS FOR READING!


	12. TREE PART SEVEN

Disclaimer: In an alternate universe the vizards and the members of Xcution would be the best of friends…yes this is what I think but only Kubo-sensei has that kind of power!

A/N The idea of this collection was meant to be one-shots and what not…it was never supposed to have long drawn out stories…my only excuse is I don't usually write Shuhei's character and yeah.

Totoromo, I admit I had some writing blocks when it came to this pairing its still fun!

Under Your Tree

Icicle blues shifted from frosty to something softer as they locked on cinnamon and coffee browns "And if it had been would you cry for me?"

"Of course." It wasn't even something Ichigo had to think about it. Despite everything that happened between them Toshiro was still irreplaceable.

"And if I told you that I was dying right now would you pull the car over and blow me?"

In a lot of ways Toshiro was like a young boy-in a lot of other ways he was just a not-so-closet pervert.

Ichigo would never forget the time when they were on their way to a funeral of all things and…

"_**Take off your pants and come sit in my lap."**_

_**If Ichigo hadn't been the very best driver he promised his mother he would be he would have swerved into the opposite lane and possibly killed both himself and his lover- some other drivers and pedestrians-**_

"_**What! Now?"**_

_**Surely Toshiro had to be joking-not only was it illegal to perform sexual activities in public but they were also in the middle of traffic and it was fucking daylight out which meant any one could see them-hell a freakin squad car was in the next lane over.**_

"_**Either you come and sit in my lap or blow me-either way I'm not going to let you drive this car another mile unless I get some release, Ichigo."**_

_**Ichigo did not really appreciate being treated like some on-call bitch but he didn't want to come off as some type of boring ass prude either so given no other real choice, the orange berry moved the stick shift to P, unbuckled his seat belt and-**_

Loud BLARING HORNS

"Hey moron, watch the road!"

Ichigo flinched at the harsh tone and inwardly cursed himself for almost getting caught up in a memory that was better to forget.

He wasn't sure how much time passed until the silence was broken.

"Well?"

"Well what Toshiro?"

'_That's right, play it cool, play it casual-act as though his hand on your thigh is not having any effect on you whatsoever-act as though he means n-_

"Don't play dumb Kurosaki you know damn well what I'm talking about."

"Nah can't say that I do."

Shit! Why the hell were his palms suddenly so damn sweaty? What the hell was his ex doing?-Toshiro was loosening his tie-removing his shoes-playing with the dials on the radio-acting so completely at ease?

"Did you ever go through with it?"

"Go through with what?" Although Ichigo wasn't sure it was wise to ask the snow-haired male to elaborate at this point he figured fuck it!

"You always said you wanted to get a Guiche piercing while we were together, so I'm asking did you?"

Ichigo scowled in order to mask the blush that was threatening to rise-doubling his efforts to keep his eyes on the road as he corrected the other man "It was **you** who wanted me to get _that _piercing, not me and no I didn't go through with it."

"Why not?"

Now Ichigo was growing irritated and he growled out "I figured that bitch of yours had more than enough to keep you sa-

"We're not talking about my fiancé Ichigo, we're talking about you and me."

WTF?

"There is no you and me," a snarling hiss which would have surely done a family of cobras and cats proud.

Why was Toshiro going out of his way to make him feel like such a jackass?

"Just because we're broken up doesn't mean you should neglect your bodily needs."

Double what the fuck?

The snow-haired male was worse than his damn angels!

"Why are we talking about something as personal as my sex life," irritation rising Ichigo did not mask the sneer in his voice "What's the matter did that bitch finally catch an STD that couldn't be cured with a little magic pill? Are you having a case of blue balls Toshiro?"

It felt kind of good to finally let his disgust towards the bitch out in the open-felt too damn good.

Sadly for the orange haired male it did not get the desired reaction he had been hoping for-

"Are you quite done?"

Ichigo felt like punching something. Damn it! Why did Toshiro always-?

'Listen Toshiro can we just fo-

"I'm sorry if you are still uncomfortable talking about something as natural as oral favors but you didn't honestly expect me to sit here and talk about my feelings did you? Or is it an apology you're looking for?" A snort "Sorry to disappoint you but I never put a ring on your finger and I never intended to so you can't really call my attraction to Hinamori cheating-

Ichigo felt like an old wound had been ripped open once more-he didn't understand what he could have done to make the other man hate him so much-

"It has nothing to do with me losing interest in you Ichigo. I am simply the kind of man who likes to plow many gardens not just one-Hinamori understands this which is why she allowed me to come and see you."

Well lade fucking dah! -Ichigo wanted to scream-to break down and cry-possibly maybe put the car back into drive and fucking ram it off the road but what was the point?

"So let me see if I get this straight-

A snort, "Nothing about you is straight, Kurosaki so don't even bother."

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that."

A smirk "Good, good it's better this way. No drama-just a lil harmless trip down good ole' memory lane…and much like that first night years ago when Toshiro had caught him completely off guard and bent him over the balcony Ichigo found it difficult to think clearly-

()()

Grimmjow's cat like ears twitched-it could only mean one thing-his brat was in trouble.

Not trouble so much as the brat was about to make a yet another stupid choice and all because it was difficult to let go of the past.

Grimmjow let out an aggravated sigh once again wishing he could just make the snow-haired midget disappear for evermore-make the brats' life a little easier.

"Hurry it the hell up bubblebath boy I thought you wanted to get back to Ichigo."

He couldn't believe the dark haired male had decided to take a detour instead of catching up with the brat. Shuhei was piling the shopping cart sky high with Christmas ornaments, lights and garland and why?

"I'm almost done. Just got to grab one more item."

Because the blue-haired angel had let it 'slip' that the orange berry hadn't bothered to decorate his house this year.

Grimmjow cocked a brow "And how exactly do you expect to carry all of this?"

Shuhei wasn't an airhead he was now a man on a mission but the angel did have a point how would he carry all of these items? 

The answer was he couldn't.

At least not right now.

It might spoil the element of surprise but then again it might be fun to decorate Ichigo's house together.

Shuhei finished putting the last item into the overflowing cart and made his way towards the checkout counter knowing Grimmjow wasn't far behind.

He would pay now and ask for the items to be put on hold-then he would return tomorrow with the orange berry in tow.

Even with this thought in mind the dark-haired tattooed male couldn't resist purchasing twin Santa hats on his way out-he ignored the angels' death threats and grumbles as he slipped it over slightly pointed ears and then placed the other on his own head and waited for Grimmjow to pick him up and take him back to the orange berry.

()()

()()

"I don't understand why you're being so pissy with me now Ichigo."

"I'm being pissy with you because first you come on to me and then you insult me. I may have been an idiot back when we were together but I won't be one now, Toshiro!"

Truthfully the orange haired male just wished his ex would shut up and order because then at least the conversation between them would be limited. When they first sat down Ichigo thought about ordering something with a lot of garlic or possibly curry? Maybe Toshiro would back off then instead of suffocating him with his closeness.

'_And to think I was actually looking forward to spending some time with him again.'_

He hated how Toshiro thought it was okay to just touch him so casually-resting his hand on the small of his back or fingers brushing on the inside of his wrist.

Ichigo had half a mind to curl his hand into a fist and send the shorter male flying out of the booth and on to the floor but there really wasn't any point to create a scene or unnecessary drama. He had all he could stomach for one afternoon.

"Can you please just stop touching me? I'm trying to read the menu."

"Why bother when you already know what you're going to order."

"Maybe I want to try something different this time."

Toshiro's tone turned teasing again "Are we still talking about food?"

Ichigo was not amused or turned on. He put his hand up and called the waitress over-determined to ignore his ex at all cost he ordered half of the entrees on the menu in addition to three appetizers.

Ichigo liked to eat when he was pissed off or stressed out.

It was something his friends always poked fun of but he didn't care.

"I hope you don't honestly expect me to sleep on your couch while I'm in town."

Were they really having this discussion?

Ichigo shook his head "You can sleep on my bed, my cousin will take the guest room and I'll sleep on the couch."

Icicle blues rolled "That's ridiculous! We're both men and I'm sure you're bed is more than b-

"You're engaged and your fiancé will be here in a few days and are you out of your mind?"

"Stop being so dramatic I was merely suggesting-

"No! No I don't want to hear it Toshiro," a pause "I admit I might have flirting with you a bit, old habits die hard and all but I don't touch what isn't mine. You're not MINE," orange lashes fell over brown eyes and Ichigo lowered his voice "I guess you never were."

"This again? God Kurosaki were you always this pathetic or did my dumping you **fuck you up so much that yo-**

"Sirs I'm going to have to ask you to lower your voices or finish your discussion outside."

Ichigo slumped lower into the booth-hating how much of an effect Toshiro still had on him even after all this time.

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what?" Ichigo growled in a low tone even though he knew it was pointless and wouldn't faze Toshiro in the least.

"You spend too much time in your head Ichigo. You're much too sensitive-worse than half the women I've bedded actually."

Ichigo would not flinch. He absolutely refused to flinch or cry or act as though Toshiro words/insults had an effect on him. He grabbed his cranberry juice half wishing it was wine, downed the contents and then ordered another one.

()()

Shuhei didn't want to think negative thoughts about Ichigo as he followed the blue haired angel into the restaurant and spotted the berry and his ex-the two men had selected a booth in the far back with a single candle placed in the very center of the table and rather then Toshiro sitting on one side and Ichigo sitting on the other they sat together.

From this distance Shuhei couldn't make out what was being said but he didn't have to because the body language said it all.

()()

Shu=boy was getting angrier but he minute. No doubt he was feeling as though he had been played for fool-revenge for his earlier stunt with Kira. The dark-haired male was probably misinterpreting the whole scene playing out before him.

Grimmjow was looking forward to the showdown-so long as none of the anger or violence was unleashed on his brat of course.

The chances of Shuhei turning on Ichigo were slim though-the cocky bastard was so enchanted with the orange berry it was almost inhuman-well in the angels' opinion anyway.

Grimmjow grabbed a slice of chocolate cherry cheesecake and a fork off one of the trays the waitress was holding (not caring in the least if the silly twat got into trouble when she arrived the customers table empty handed) and took a bite, savoring the first piece and watched the scene unfold.

()()

"You know what I think?"

A snort "I couldn't care less what you think at this point Toshiro."

The snow-haired male continued on as though the berry hadn't interrupted, "I think you are trying so desperately to convince yourself that you don't want me any more-that you don't feel anything for me any more because you're scared."

"…"

"Scared of letting your body feel absolute pleasure once more because you're worried I'll slip away again-worried I'll leave you again but what you fail to realize Ichigo is by denying me your only torturing yourself more. It's called meaningless sex for a reason-

Ichigo wanted to cover his hears-to block out Toshiro's words-to block out Toshiro's very existence-he wanted to-

()()

A wise man or women or poet or…well someone wise once said

DON'T GET MAD GET EVEN!

"Is this seat taken?" Shuhei asked the question but didn't wait for an answer as he sat down on the opposite side of the booth.

He ignored the way Toshiro's fine white brows twitched in irritation-ignored the less than pleasant tone in the younger male's voice-teeth tightly gritted together "Surely you can find some other place to sit?"

"Well you see I could do that," Shuhei began as he removed his jacket and set it on the arm the of the chair at the next table over before continuing, "But I really don't want to."

And then he picked up the menu and scanned through the dessert list, not missing the amusement shining clear in _his _orange berrys' eyes. He looked over the menu and winked at the younger male "I'm in the mood for something sweet, help me out here Ichigo," Shuhei's voice dripped to a purring sound "I'm having a hard time deciding between angel food and devils' food cake?"

Brown eyes still twinkling with mirth, Ichigo responded with "Hmm well I dunno Shuhei I suppose you could order both and then you wouldn't have to choose or," a light teasing smile "You could order one and I'll order the other and we can share?"

"WHAT?"

Talk about being overdramatic. Toshiro was acting ridiculous.

"You don't even like sweets Ichigo and more to the point," icicle blues narrowed at the dark-haired male "Who the hell said you could si-?

"I'm not that hungry for a full course meal anyway but dessert sounds good."

Ichigo realized how contradictory he probably sounded considered he just ordered a mountain of food but it wasn't about that anymore.

Now it was about enjoying himself as he originally intended-Toshiro could sit there and continue to gape like a fish because the orange haired male would use the opportunity to slip away and move over to the other side where Shuhei was sitting.

It didn't think that the other man's appearance was just a coincidence but he didn't really care about that either.

"Hi there, come to keep me company?"

Ichigo rested his elbow on the table and planted his cheek in the side of his palm and responded casually "If you'll let me."

Shuhei's stormy eyes darkened even more "Sure, sure it would be much easier to share our dessert this way."

Ichigo mock pouted just then "And here I was hoping you would just pass on the dessert and take me home," a sigh "Oh well guess I'll just have to settle for artificial sugar."

"**I'm betting you Shu-boy has something that taste much better than sugar, Brat."**

If Ichigo wasn't used to his guardian angels' antics he would have jumped and fallen out of his seat just then-

"_Damn it Grimmjow what the hell?"_

_A Cheshire cat like grin, which was all too fitting and more often than not present on the blue-haired angels' face was the non-verbal reply._

"Ichigo?"

Great! Fucking peachy he probably looked like a completely nutcase now.

"_He's already seen me brat. How do you think he got here?"_

Well…Ichigo hadn't considered that or he had but it slipped his mind or something-still this was slightly different then the incident at the airport-at least back there Grimmjow was visible and-

"Hey are you okay?"

"Yeah I just uh it's nothing, sorry where were we?"

"Dessert."

()()

Later that night…understandably Ichigo's mind was running on hyper drive.

Thoughts of the day and other things catching up to him

Although Toshiro could be a persistent ass from time to time he knew when to leave well enough alone-to leave Ichigo to sort through his thoughts. Admitted to a point that he was wrong.

"_I'll spend tonight in a hotel and then I'll drop by tomorrow afternoon and we'll discuss where to go from there."_

_Because it was more or less harmless-Ichigo allowed it when Toshiro kissed his forehead before pulling back. _

_Toshiro was giving him much needed space and Ichigo felt some of his anger and irritation simmer._

_()()_

The feeling of coming home to an empty house (seemed Kon was spending the night with one of his girlfriends') and an empty bed was not a pleasant one.

Finding the covers just as he left them earlier that morning-finding his slippers exactly where he left them-it was down right depressing when he really let the loneliness set in he could admit this to himself.

The window was open a crack and he shivered and scowled. Quickly crossing the room and making a mental note to fix the damn screen Ichigo slammed it shut.

As he removed his clothes and climbed into bed the orange berry let his mind drift to far more pleasant thoughts-

I_t had been a lot more challenging than Ichigo was perhaps willing to admit-parting ways with Shuhei for the rest of the evening-not touching the other male more than absolutely necessary-restraining himself from taking what he wanted-what was being offered to him-in a way coming off like a tease-exhibiting behavior he wasn't proud of but rather than acting like an ass and calling him on it Shuhei only grinned at him in a mischievous sort of manner-those gray eyes dancing-voice light and airy (well as light an airy as a husky voice could sound that is.)_

"_See you tomorrow, Ichigo."_

_He didn't really get what the Santa hat had to do with anything but he certainly hadn't complained about it either_

And as Ichigo let his eyes slip shut this time instead of reflecting on a memory with Toshiro he let his mind spin a fantasy with Shuhei as his co-star.

()()

_Hosting his own Christmas party didn't hold all that much appeal-hosting a party with Shuhei however well…that held some promise._

_But as it was with most dreams Ichigo couldn't quite make sense of it-not that he was complaining since he was quite enjoying the view of Shuhei dancing (not literally-that would have been amusing) around the kitchen in nothing more than silky boxers (showcasing powerful looking thighs and a tight rear-_

_It was the kind of ass he the orange berry could easily envision squeezing, clinging to during sex. Everyone always told him that he had a great ass and yes during his rare narcissistic type moments, Ichigo agreed but there was a major contrast between a fuckable ass like his own and well anyway… ) _

_Smudges of chocolate and powder and cream had apparently missed the bowl and instead found its way onto Shuhei's all too delicious looking body. Ichigo could spend a good half a day just watching but why watch when he could play with his Shuhei. _

_Yes HIS Shuhei-his dark haired love interest had apparently decided to visit him in his dreams and who was Ichigo to deny such a tasty invitation?_

_()()_

As much as Shiro wished to drop in on his favorite King, he had to catch up with Grimm first.

But of all the things the powdered angel might have expected to come across when arriving a Shu-boy's house with Kira in tow (much to the blond bunny's displeasure/annoyance) seeing the dark haired human hammering away on strips of wood-apparently building something form scratch was not it.

Protective goggles over gray eyes-a Santa hat on his head (which was obviously meant for decoration rather than safety purposes) gloves and various tools scattered about the sizable living room.

Heh, who knew bubblebath boy was a bit of a handy man. Shiro grinned. Maybe he could convince Shu to fix the shingles on Ichi's room-it'd be a win-win for everyone. Shu-boy would have a lil' extra money in his pocket, King would have jolly eye candy and Shiro would have his holiday amusement.

"Hisagi-san what are you doing?"

()

Shuhei was too busy hammering away and didn't even notice the presence of the blond and bino-angel until Grimmjow smacked him with a wide ruler.

The dark-haired handy-man shot the grinning blue-haired angel a dark glare and considered how he would exact his revenge-maybe he'd drill the bastards' tail to the floor?

A tap on the shoulder pulled Shuhei from his not so innocent thoughts. It was Kira. The blond looked half amused/half exasperated?

"Hey Kira."

Kira flicked the stubborn blond band out of his face and repeated his previous question "Hisagi-san what are you doing?"

"This?" Shuhei set down his hammer and dusted the debris off his pants and stood "Nothing much just a lil' something I'm putting together for Ichigo."

"You're building something for Kurosaki?"

"Well I figure a guy like him could appreciate something original. I mean sure I could have just gone out and purchased him some fancy gadget or fun toys but it lacks romance so I figure why not just him something that's one of a kind ya know?"

"Hmm," the look on the blonds' face was thoughtful "What are you trying to build and would you like some help?"

Shuhei weighed the pros and cons of letting Kira help him. It would certainly speed up the process but at the same time he couldn't help but think the gift would lose some of its value and purpose if he had help with it. "Nah I wanna do this for Ichigo."

Kira looked a bit disappointed (Shuhei did not bother asking why-wasn't sure he could handle the answer)

"That's understandable," a sigh "I guess there's no need for me to stick around then is there?"

Great. Now Shuhei felt like an asshole.

"Hey wait Kira look just because I insist on doing this part by myself doesn't mean you can't stick around and help me with the next part of Ichigo's present."

A blond brow was raised "Second part?"

"Yeah, well its not connected per se but it follows a similar theme." Shuhei explained before reaching for his hammer again.

"Um Hisagi-san?"

"Kira you've known me for how many years? Just call me Shuhei."

Blond brows furrowed together and then Kira nodded "Only if you call me Izuru."

"Deal. Now why don't you go in the kitchen and make us some hot cocoa? This will probably take all night."

Kira did not move. He stood there with his arms crossed "I am not your wife Hisagi so please don't talk to me as such."

Shuhei flinched at the dark glare causing the two angels on either side of him to snicker.

"Sorry Kira I wasn't thinking."

The blond did not look impressed.

Shuhei scratched the side of his face "Look can you please go make us some cocoa? I need some energy to get me through the night."

Kira's expression softened and then he made a suggestion "Surely coffee or tea would be a better option?"

A light smirk curled on the dark haired male's lips. Coffee made him think of Ichigo and their first encounter. Coffee made him think of…

"Coffee sounds like a great idea! Thanks Kira."

"Anytime Hisagi."

The blond set off towards the kitchen and Grimmjow followed leaving Shiro and Shuhei a chance to get better acquainted.

()()

"So Grimm showed ya a piece of Ichi's past did he?"

Shuhei nodded and made a motion to bring the hammer down again but the golden-eyed angel stopped it with his powder white boot.

"The sled can wait. I need to discuss a few things with you first."

"About Ichigo?"

"Course. Ya think I care about anythin' but him?" A snort "Grimm showed ya a clip from Ichi's past but wouldn't it be more excitin' if I showed ya somethin' that will happen in King's future?"

Dark brows furrowed. "Is that even possible? Am I in it?"

"Hmm, well that all depends on you now doesn't it?"

Shuhei frowned. Why couldn't the angels just talk to him normally why did they have to play with his head-speak in riddles and what not?

Shiro sat down in the leather recliner "How badly do ya want King? Are ya willin' to go the extra distance in order to prove ya self worthy?"

"I can't promise perfect but I would never try to intentionally harm or hurt Ichigo."

()()

Ichigo enjoyed sleeping in on his day off. The idea of not having to do anything, go anywhere or talk to anyone unless his sisters or his friends came to visit was freakin' grand.

He had never been much of a morning person and everyone who knew him knew this and so they wouldn't dream of knocking on his door anytime soon-baring his angels-but then again Shiro and Grimmjow never used doors anyway.

Even after all this time Ichigo wasn't quite sure how the whole teleporting thing with his guardians worked.

()

Ichigo considered taking a shower but wasn't quite ready to rise leave his bed. Instead he just let his feet dangle off the bed (never bothered buying a bigger mattress since he curled his feet while he slept) and tried to recount his dream from the previous night-concluding that said dreams were responsible for his soiled briefs and bed sheets.

Really though, 22 years old and he was still having wet dreams?

'_Pathetic, you're pathetic.'_

Near his lamp, on top of his dresser his cell phone vibrated. He could reach over and answer but Ichigo simply didn't see the point. It was only 9 am in the morning so he highly doubted it was anything serious.

Turning over on his side Ichigo stared at the wall thinking about everything and nothing.

His phone went off again. With a growl Ichigo reached for the annoying device, flipped it open and pressed it to his ear.

'_Yeah what?'_

'_**Good morning Ichigooooooooo!**_

_There were only two people who bellowed/yodeled his name like that…Keigo or goat face but Keigo was out of town and wouldn't be back until next week so obviously it was Ichigo's moronic old man._

'_What do you want?'_

_Dramatic wailing followed by the son of-_

"_**Ichigooooo how can you be so cold do dear old daddy?"**_

_Ichigo rolled his eyes knowing it was rather pointless because the man couldn't even see him._

'_Tell me why you're harassing me or I'm hanging up.'_

'_**So cold. So unbelievably cold, has my favorite son no love for his daddy at all?'**_

'_Idiot.'_

_More dramatic wails _

"_**Hey no Ichigo that's no way to treat your trusted care provider. I deserve a little more respect than that."**_

_**A snort. **_

"_Is there something you needed? Do you call to tell me that you're donating the remains of your brain cells to science?'_

"_So mean. No love at all. Masaki oh how I wish you were here, our son grows colder and colder each year and I'm not quite sure what to do.'_

_**Great. Fan-freaking tastic. Now the goat was probably having a conversation with his mother-never mind that his mother was dead and the portrait hanging above the mantle in their family home didn't hold a candle to her beauty. Ichigo rubbed the sides of his head-not really in the mood for such nonsense when he hasn't even fully woken up.**_

"_STOP HARASSING KAA-SAN AND JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, __**OLD MAN!"**_

_More wails. And Ichigo would bet anything that if he were at home with his father at this very moment-crocodile tears would be streaming from the goats eyes-_

'_**Idiot.'**_

"_**Hey stop sniveling like a girl-you're gonna scuff Kaa-san's portrait with your snot.'**_

"…"

_**The man's tone completed changed as he asked the next question.**_

"_**So my son, any exciting news you wish to report to dear ole' daddy-an engagement perhaps?"**_

"_What engagement you idiot how many times do I have to tell you that I don't like w-Rukia? What does she have to do with anything-? I don't know I mean what the hell even if there was a slight chance that she'd agree to bare my children that wouldn't be very-because there's no romantic spark between the two of us and there never has b-no I did that so you'd get off my damn back-besides Rukia is with Inoue. _

_No Inoue, I-N-O No I didn't say you-They don't care about things like that. Not that's not necessary. What? Who the hell is freakin out? I'm not freaking out I'm just a bit surprised that you- a sigh 'I don't know why you insist-You're here? Now? Ugghh why do you always-why can't you just drop me a line in advance before you decide to invite yourself over? Love and respect has nothing to do with it! That's not the damn point you-I-what if I was out of town? That's not the point either! _

_Another sigh, "I guess but don't embarrass me. Bastard. You're what? And you decide to tell me this now? What if I was-shut up I was a baby then and you-your just weird-no not in a good way! Who? I don't know if you want to invite him to dinner-then do it! What are you 13? That's your fault for not making things clear to him-it's not so bad, a bit weird but-I never said you were! I-argggg no! I said no! NO! Very funny, dumb ass. Well maybe I wouldn't call you one if you didn't act like-uh let's see no I think I'm free then and what about Karin and Yuzu are they? This again? You know if you weren't so eternally devoted to Kaa-san I'd almost think you enjoy being on your own again-loving the attention-don't be so dramatic idiot I never called you a whore. Eye roll,_

'_If it will make you sleep better at night telling your-I don't think they-you don't give Karin or Yuzu enough credit. Me? Why are you so concerned with what I think-you're free to do whatever you want with whoever you want just don't expect Kaa-san to welcome you with open arms when you kick the bucket. _

_Uh huh that's nice. Yeah, you too. Okay hanging up n-What do you mean I can't hang up-sure I ca-How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not interested in him? No its not just about his looks its-look I am so not having this conversation with you-its too damn early for this. Fifteen, no I didn't do it to spite you, I can't help who I'm attracted to. No! No I told you we weren't having this-who? I don't know what you're talking about. NO! I don't think some guy in costume is harmless-there's more than one?_

_Orange brows furrowed. Was there a slight possibility that Grimmjow and Shiro were interfering in his life yet again? Deciding that goat face and Shuhei should meet._

_Shuhei did say he would return but Ichigo didn't honestly want to think he meant so soon._

'_Why didn't you say something sooner-I could have- Ichigo trailed off…he could have what exactly?_

"_Fine. I'll be down in a minute."_

He sat up remembering his less than appropriate state.

"I'll be down in 20. Don't do anything stupid."

_()()_

It wasn't the first time Shuhei found himself standing in front of the father of his would-be-lover. He extended his hand to the man and introduced himself, making sure the handshake was firm-last thing he needed was to be seen as too weak or unworthy of Ichigo.

He kept his gray eyes firmly locked on the bearded man's only deep brown ones and did not break the contact until the man broke it first.

He found it a little strange that the man was wearing a floral patterned shirt in the middle of December but chose not to comment on it. Perhaps the goat was one of those types who wasn't affected by the winter months.

The two angels who had been pestering him all last night into this morning seemed to have disappeared for the moment. It was probably for the best.

"So you're interested in dating Ichigo, huh?"

The man sat down on the snow-covered steps and it looked like he expected Shuhei to the same.

Glad that he had opted to wear his snow-pants today Shuhei join the man and nodded a "yes" in answer to the question.

The goat studied him for a moment and then grinned-seemed he liked what he saw, "Call me Isshin, not Kurosaki-san or Isshin-san, just Isshin got it?"

Shuhei saw no reason to argue.

"So you said last name was Hisagi right?"

"Yeah."

The man scratched his beard "You wouldn't by any chance be the student of-

But Isshin never got to complete his sentence because the door opened just then and Ichigo stepped out, a look of irritation on his face.

"Must you always be so loud? I could hear you all the way up stairs."

"I was just getting to know your boyfriend here, it's a beautiful day and the sun is shining-

Cinnamon and coffee color orbs went wide and Ichigo felt his cheeks burn "Stupid goat face! Stop embarrassing me!"

"A nice healthy pink color on your face is good Ichigo, it means that you're happy."

The man moved to hug the orange berry but Ichigo side- stepped the embrace and crossed his arms. "It's not even 10 o' clock in the morning and already you're- the rest of his words turned into low grumbles

And it was at the moment when Shuhei concluded that father and son didn't get along very well.

"_That's putting it lightly bubble-boy."_

_Look up in the tree it's a bird, it's a cat-no its well technically…_

_Not far from the feline-like angel the bino was hanging up side down on another branch, a cord of green and red lights curled around the sleeves on his robes._

_A snicker "Boy ain't that the truth."_

Shuhei didn't even bother asking the angels how long they had been there he was growing quite used to their little disappearing and reappearing acts.

He did wonder what happened to his blond companion though. "Where's Kira?"

Shiro's gold eyes glittered, "Where's Alice? Well that's quite the interestin' question Shu-boy, too bad I ain't gonna tell ya."

An eye roll "Fine, whatever. Since you're here I need you guys to help me unload the stuff from the trunk and carry it into Ichigo's house."

Electric blues narrowed to thin slits. Grimmjow might have accepted that this lil' bastard was going to be with his brat but he would never take orders from a human-at least not without being a little difficult first. "What makes you think we're going to help you do anything?"

Shuhei was smarter than the angels gave him credit for. He knew exactly what to say to get the two agree. "Because Ichigo would want you to."

()()

TBC

()()


	13. TREE FIN

**Disclaimer: Why Ginjo why? I love you Kubo-sensei truly honestly I do but why did you do that why! I, SLY do not own Ichi-cakes and co and I never ever will. **

A/N I don't lecture for reviews, why is this? Because some reviewers are just plain evil…well that's one of the reasons…the second is…with or with out your review if the ideas continue to flow through my brain then the stories shall continue. THANKS ROMO and Ane-chan and any others who are following my version of ShuIchi!

A/N 2 The plot is kind of …terrible…let's be honest but hey it was fun anyway!

This here is FINAL-FREAKING-LY THE TRUE TREE FINALE…no one writes angels quite like you Totoromo but I enjoyed giving it a go

_~SLY~_

Recap: It all started when two angels (Shiro and Grimmmjow) of the Hybrid Gates dropped in on a depressed blond haired uke (Kira) and ordered him to play match maker…then the story shifted to our two main stars in this tale…destined lovers to be Hisagi Shuhei and Kurosaki Ichigo…but as all stories go there are the ups, downs and in betweens as well as some other fun holiday things…right yeah onwards to the end!

AU, OOC-ness, spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-ons, switching view, ShuIchi, others…

()()

**TREE**

(THE END THE END THE END-NO SERIOUSLY THE END)

()()

It was a nice gesture. Ichigo definitely appreciated the thought that went into the rather unusual gift-even more so when Grimmjow and Shiro explained that the sled had been 'built from scratch'-

Shuhei had worked on it all night with out sleeping a wink.

Yes Ichigo could appreciate the thought that went into it and he hadn't a clue how he would return the sweet gesture but on the other hand…

"Uh look Shuhei it's nice and all but it's too big for my living room and there aren't any large hills or mountains near by to go sledding-

The dark haired male was frowning and Ichigo felt like an ass.

"I-it's beautiful craftsmanship really but I well it's a bit impractical."

Fuck. He sounded way too much like Toshiro just now.

"It doesn't have to stay inside the house Ichigo. You could put it in the front or back yard and all the children in the neighborhood can play on it like a jungle gum or use it as a storage space.

Think about it's a lot more convenient then some box or plastic container. You could even sleep in it because it has a fluffy down cushioning and well…the possibilities are endless." 

Well when it was put that way.

"You really put a lot of thought into this huh?"

Shuhei nodded "I loved sledding when I was a kid. I modeled it after my sled…instead of that cheap plastic that they sell nowadays I went back to the core of sledding…thought to my self what makes a sled? True I could have built a sled for one but there's no fun in that. Sledding should be shared with a friend or lover-naturally I prefer a lover but," a sigh "Look forget about what I said just now. The point is I wanted to do something to make you smile, Ichigo."

Loud bawling noises followed by sniffling "Say no more," A mini-mountain of tissue boxes surrounded Isshin. Ichigo did not even want to know where goat face had managed to find them-he bit back an embarrassed groan as the man continued

"It is clear to me now that Ichigo couldn't have picked a better person. You are a good kid, Hisagi Shuhei and if my son doesn't appreciate this fine instrument that you've constructed with your bare hands than I will be more than happy to accept it."

Damn goat face!

"What the hell? I never said I didn't want to accept it so do me a favor and stop blowing your snot all over it!"

"Oi, oi Ichigo stop making such ugly expressions before you scare Shuhei away and into the arms of another maiden."

Idiot! Fucking idiot! Kaa-san (god rest her soul) swore that Isshin was his birth father but sometimes Ichigo really doubted it.

Shuhei chuckled lightly until…

"Make no mistake about it, if **you** hurt my _boy_ I'll hog tie you and offer you up as an appetizer to the highest bidder in Karakura's GDU."

It wasn't the tone of the mans' voice that made Shuhei want to shrink into himself it was those eyes…

Ichigo frowned as much as it pained him to admit it his old man did have a point. Constantly going around with a scowl on his face was not sexy or cute.

Shuhei had come all this way in order to present a sled and a year supply of Christmas decorations (which he also took the liberty of hanging) to him so the very least Ichigo could invite the guy to breakfast or something.

It would be better if goat face wasn't here but sadly for the orange berry it didn't seem like the old man was leaving any time soon.

He could offer to make breakfast for Shuhei but didn't think it was a wise idea-a bit too early in the game to be displaying such domestic behavior. If Ichigo were going to cook breakfast for the other man he'd rather do it the morning after they had sex.

Mmmm after sex…Ichigo rather liked the thought playing out in his mind now…slipping on Shuhei's boxers and carefully tiptoeing out of the room while Shuhei slept on completely oblivious…only the fresh smells of baked bread, maple syrup and sizzling bacon would wake the dark haired male from his slumber.

"-Park what do you say Ichigo?"

Huh? Was someone asking him a question? Apparently so. Both Shuhei and Goat Face were looking at him expectantly.

Ichigo didn't want to let on that he had zoned out but…

"Sorry can you repeat the question?"

Isshin was grinning like an idiot (what else is new?) and Shuhei was attempting to muffle his chuckles behind his hand.

"We thought it would be fun to try the sled out after breakfast what do you think Ichigo?"

Ichigo tried to imagine what it would be like being sandwiched between Shuhei and goat face and it didn't hold all that much appeal-plus it would look rather erm…unethical to an outside observer and-

"Fine but I'm sitting in the front."

Yes because that way Shuhei could wrap his arms around his waist and-Ichigo shot his old man a dark glare as his next thoughts traveled to a place they had no place traveling but he just couldn't help it-goat face was standing a little too close to Shuhei for Ichigo's liking and what the hell was up with that hogtying threat?

Ichigo's glare darkened even more "No you know what scratch that! We'll go first and then you can ride by yourself."

There-yes that was much better.

He heard twin snickers and right away recognized the sounds belonging to his two guardian angels. Go figure Shiro and Grimmjow would find his latest situation just as entertaining as any other.

"**M**_**eow,**_** possessive much brat?"**

"**Aww I'm so proud of ya King, stakin' ya claim and all why it seems like only yesterday ya were jus' findin' out about what the funny white stuff that came outta ya pee-hole was**-

Ichigo (predictably) blushed several shades of crimson.

Sometimes he really hated his angels. 'Shut up!' he snarled in his head…knowing that they would hear him because they made it their duty/mission to know everything that went on in his head.

"Why are you being so mean to daddy Ichigo? I only want to become better acquainted with your boyfriend," sniff, sniff-the goat wiped the corner of his eyes "It's okay I understand when I'm not wanted."

No Isshin didn't understand-or more like he simply didn't care and that was the problem. It drove Ichigo crazy.

"How about we take turns?" Shuhei suggested a moment later.

Ichigo looked at him with surprise "You sure about-

Shuhei nodded and mouthed out 'It's the holidays-let him have some fun.'

Ichigo let out a sigh still not fond of the idea but agreed.

()()

While the humans packed up the car with the sled Grimmjow pulled Shiro to the side in order to further discuss the plan.

"So what did you and Alice-chan decide on?"

"Well I wanted to drive Kings' car off the road and then force bubble boy to dive in after him-wait for both of em' to run outta air and drown-then I was gonna welcome em' to Paradise but Kira-chan didn't like it too much so we're going to run with the merman project."

Grimmjow raised an electric blue brow and then offered his companion a little of his chocolate dipped cocoa beans.

Shiro shook his head. "Nah I ate before I left bunny boy."

Grimmjow shrugged "More for me."

Golden eyes rolled "Riiight so where was I-?"

"The merman project-whatever the hell that is. It doesn't have to do with Shu's dream does it?"

"Nah not really see I figure costumes and things of that nature are more of a Halloween type thing-this is going to be more underneath the merman…

"The fuck-?"

"Never mind. All you have to know is we're going to the carnival under the guise of eels."

"Electric eels?"

"No, reindeer eels yes electric eels dumbass-we're gonna tip the love lagoon over jus' like they did in the American version of the mermaid and the prince."

A snort "And what exactly will that accomplish-we want to get em' closer so why pull them apart?"

"Cause what's a holiday season with out a lil' action and drama."

"You want to attempt to drown OUR brat?"

"Kira-chan wasn't too tickled pink bout the idea either," Shiro snickered "Which is why I left that part out."

"What are you going to do if it back fires? We'll have one dead berry and one seriously pissed off bubble bath boy."

"Nothing says true love like a close encounter with death-you see it in all the classics."

"I still think you're going off the-

"Ya got a better idea on how to test Shu-boys' worth then spit it otherwise shut ya yap!"

Another snort. "This by far has got to be one of the corniest ideas you've come up with to date." (Not to mention dangerous) but Grimmjow wasn't going to say that part out loud. 

Gold eyes narrowed to thin slits "Who gives a fuck if its corny-so long as its serves its purpose," Shiro turned and started walking off in the other direction.

"Where are you going?"

Grimmjow felt confused. He thought they were going to follow the brat and the two dark-haired males.

Shiro paused and turned "I was thinkin' it's been far too long since we last paid the snow midge a visit-after that stunt he'd pulled on King the other day-"Shiro left the rest of his sentence unfinished and started walking again.

Grimmjow quickly caught up easily falling into to step with the slimmer angel. "I like the way you think, my friend."

Shiro scoffed "Don't go getting' all sappy on me Grimm-we still got shit to do."

A nod and then a companionable silence fell over the duo.

And the two angels walked a good distance until they reached a dead end of an alley and vanished in thin air-or at least this is what a bum curled up next to a dumpster believed he saw.

()()

In a lot of ways goat face was just like a child to the point where it was…above and beyond embarrassing.

Shouting 'weeeeeeee' and waving his arms wildly through the air as he went down the hill on the sled wasn't exactly…

"I'm glad someone is having fun."

Shuhei's pleasant timber next to his ear made Ichigo shiver and feel like he was burning up at the same time. He could not stop the sigh escaping from his lips

"It really was nice of you to let him tag along-not even my friends who have known him for years can-

"**Come on Ichigo, Shuhei you guys are missing out on all the fun!"**

Ichigo sent a withering glare to his moronic old man and continued talking to Shuhei as though he had never been interrupted "Stand being around him for a few hours-hell even a few minutes."

"You should look at the Brightside."

A scoff "What bright side?"

"Well a lot of father's wouldn't approve of their son being so openly intimate with another man."

Shuhei did have a point but-

"Are you saying you have a strained relationship with your father?"

"No. If my dad were still around I don't think he'd really care one way or another-his wife already left him for another woman-so he'd probably figure he'd be destined to have a queer for a son anyway."

Ichigo processed all this information and then turned so his whole body was facing the other man and asked "So you're close to your mother then?"

A nod and a soft smile "I'm close to my mothers, yes and once they meet you they'll love you just like a second son, Ichigo."

Meeting Shuhei's parents? Wasn't this moving a little too fast?

"Um I'm not trying to ruin a perfectly good day but I still don't really understand why you're interested in me."

()()

Gray eyes were locked on brown now.

"Does there have to be a reason? I mean wait I didn't mean it like that what I mean to say was sometimes love happens when we least expect it and," Shuhei took hold of the younger mans' hands-loving how perfectly they seem to compliment his own "instead of worrying about tomorrow or the next day let's just focus on the here and now."

Rather than letting the issue go and nodding in agreement the orange berry retreated a bit -hugged his legs close to his chest the brilliant light in his eyes died-the action reminded Shuhei of a wounded animal his late sensei once rescued during a snow storm one year-he didn't like it-didn't like it one bit.

He had to put Ichigo's fears/worries/uncertainty to rest.

He just wasn't sure how.

Silence and then a heavy sigh. "I'm not sure I can do whatever it is you are asking of me Shuhei-not that I'm not attracted to you because I am but-

"But you're not a fan of relationships?"

He meant to say you don't trust yourself in a relationship but he didn't want Ichigo to withdraw from him even further.

()()

Ichigo played with a stray pinecone that had fallen from its tree and answered, "You saw how my ex was," voice sounding a bit strained. "He hurt me pretty badly and-

Shuhei's tone was gentle as he slowly scooted his way towards the younger man again and coaxed Ichigo to meet his gaze again. He cupped the berrys' face and brushed the pads of his thumbs over boyish cheekbones "What are you trying to tell me Ichigo?"

"I'm telling you that if you just wanna sleep with me alright fine but when its over you need to promise me that you'll never talk to me again."

It wasn't easy to say these words but Ichigo didn't have the energy to beat around the bush.

"Woah slow down now we have a perfectly good thing going here and all though you look very fuckable right now that is not the only thing I want from you. I'm not asking to get hitched although you'd be a knock out in a red velvet wedding dress but I want to be your friend as well as your lover. Call me cliché or unoriginal but this is how I feel."

"I'll think about it I mean-

"What is there to think about?"

"Well Kira for one. I know you said it was just a joke but what if he has genuine feelings for you and you broke his heart without even noticing?"

"Kira and I are friends. Nothing more besides which," a small smirk "I like brunettes and redheads-never cared too much for blonds."

Ichigo wasn't entirely convinced. Besides what the fuck did hair color have to do with anything?

"There are ways around that. Hair dyes or wigs or- he trailed off and muttered a curse under his breath-what was he doing? Why was he doing this? He didn't want to push the dark haired man away but he wasn't sure if he could trust him.

"That's not the same I like _au natural_." The last part came out in a purr.

Ichigo studied Shuhei's face watching his gray eyes and those lips-he couldn't quite decide on a color before but now as he had all the time in the world to look at them here out in the sunlight-Ichigo decided that the mans' lips reminded him of a bowl of Wheaties without the milk-although (his inner devil supplied) who needs milk when he could have-

Ichigo flushed crimson at his own perverted thoughts and moved his gaze on to the tattoos-he figured the blue stripe was probably part of an inside joke or something that was forced upon Shuhei during pledge week during his college days…well assuming the guy was part of a frat house-Ichigo shook his head-whatever-who cares-the stripe fit Shuhei and that was all that mattered. As for the 6 and the 9…that could easily be read as 69 well…

"I'm sure you probably get asked this question a lot but the tattoo on your cheek does it stand for-well you _know_?"

Shuhei scratched at his cheek almost as though speaking of it caused it to itch or something-perhaps it was just a subconscious habit? But if Shuhei didn't like his own tattoo why would he-?

"You want to know what it stands for?"

"Yeah."

Gray eyes twinkled "I'll tell you the story behind it after our third date. For now just know that it has nothing to do with sex."

()()

Ichigo looked doubtful. Shuhei didn't seem the least bit surprised. He was used to this kind of reaction. Shuhei's expression turned serious "I would never lie to you Ichigo-not even about something like this."

"Hmm well then I'll be interested in hearing this story of yours." There was a teasing tone in the orange berrys' voice now and the light was back in his beautiful brown orbs.

Shuhei felt a wonderful sort of warmth wash over him. He could stay out here with Ichigo forever and never grow tiered of it. He waggled his brows "You gotta agree to go out with me on a date first."

A pout-just a small one but it was too damn adorable "But I thought-well what about yesterday and right no-

Shuhei chuckled and brushed his lips lightly against Ichigo's neck causing the other male to squirm slightly and then murmured into his skin, "Yesterday I was staking my claim. I didn't like the way your ex was undressing you with his eyes so I stepped in and put a stop to it and as for the airport well…that was more of a nice to meet you sort of deal-not that I'd have any objections to an encore but I'm not going to pressure you or-

"I uh had a dream about you last night."

Gray eyes flew wide open in surprise but Shuhei kept his tone casual-unaffected-acting as though chibi-Shuhei wasn't jumping up and down with glee in his head-"Oh? And did I meet all of your expectations or should I work on my technique?"

He moved his lips away from Ichigo's neck and over to that delectable looking ear-couldn't quite resist the urge to lick the shell-it didn't taste like much of anything but it got the desired reaction he'd been hoping for-turning a lovely pink along with the rest of the orange berrys' face

"It didn't really I mean I suppose it could have reached that point but uh well it feels kind of wrong thinking about you without clothes on-almost like I'm violating you but I'm not like that-not really I mean well I can be but I uh and," a small giggle "Stop it I can't think when you're hahaha," more squirming "Seriously stop it!"

But Shuhei didn't want to stop because Ichigo was…

Too cute. Too damn cute for his own damn good and Shuhei's own sanity.

More giggling, more squirming, and then a bit of kicking-

"I mean it Shuhei stop or I'll swear I'll hahhaha seriously I will-damn you-

Tickling was so juvenile but Shuhei simply couldn't help himself. He was having too much fun.

"_Make me_."

Ichigo stopped laughing and squirming away from his hold. His brown eyes burned with something that Shuhei couldn't even properly define but he liked it "You're gonna regret those words."

And then like a rocket the berry barreled right into him and sent them both rolling down the snowy hill…and now Shuhei was laughing too…it reminded him of his youth…not that he was old but he didn't really hoarse around the snow anymore so it was a nice change of pace.

()()

When they reached the bottom and he found himself pinned under Ichigo for the second time that week Shuhei grinned brighter than the blazing sunshine and reached up to pick a stray pine-needle out of those unruly orange locks and pull Ichigo down into a warm open mouthed kiss.

()()

"Your ex left a deep impact on you and it's my job to erase it if you'll let me?"

"Yeah he did and sometimes I really hate him for it. It was-god I can't believe how pathetic I am at times but it was so hard for me to resist him yesterday-so damn difficult for me to listen to my morals and common sense-listen to my brain instead of my battered heart-I wanted to climb into his lap-I wanted to forget everything that happened and just reconnect with Toshiro because he is a good guy and-Ichigo punched the snow-covered ground with his fist and let out a angry growl "Fuck what the hell is wrong with me? Why do I always-I hate this-he trailed off and Shuhei did not dare comment on the wet drops falling into the snow.

A true man did not mock another man for shedding tears.

()()

"Why do you want me Shuhei? I'm moody and complicated and-waaaa!"

What the hell? So much for not pushing anything! What the hell did Shuhei think he was doing just suddenly reversing their positions and slipping his gloved hands where they had no place being-at least not yet anyway.

Yesterday was a different story…right now however-

For fuck sakes goat face might be an idiot but even he wouldn't miss out on the fact that Shuhei was currently playing patty cake with his ass right now-kneading the flesh with strong hands-

"It's your own fault Ichigo. You shouldn't wear low rise jeans if you don't want me to take it as an invitation to play." The husk in the man's voice alone nearly made Ichigo see stars…if such things were truly possible.

"**Oi, oi no foreplay until I see a ring on his finger!"**

Ichigo blushed 40 shades plus of crimson, pushed Shuhei away, pulled up his jeans and yelled at the idiot who would always and forever be known as his old man-much to his horror!

"WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? SAYING THAT KIND OF SHIT OUT LOUD-!"

No one bothered to point out to the orange berry that he was being just as loud as the goat.

Shuhei watched as father and son bickered and shouted at each other once more. He was highly amused and couldn't suppress his chuckling if he tried.

Isshin's words had also inspired him a bit-_**a ring huh?**_

Maybe he could talk to the angels about arranging something.

Speaking of where had Shiro and Grimmjow wandered off to now?

()()()

Swinging an ax at stubborn tree bark…if his half cousin could do it then surely an intelligent, well-mannered former tennis player such as himself should be able to-

"Bunny boy the tree won't chop itself down."

Blond brows furrowed together as Kira curled his hands around the wooden ax and struck the bark-barely making a dent in the damn thing let alone knocking it down.

The powdered and feline like angels snickered unhelpfully-seemed to find a great deal of joy in his suffering. If he wound up accidentally poking himself in the eye or impaling himself in the stomach maybe he could recapture Gin's love and attention?

Kira felt a burst of energy and determination shoot through him and swung the ax with as much power and force as his lean frame could muster.

Letting out a triumphant crow when a few pieces of bark splintered in half.

"Very good Kira-chan now all ya gotta to do is hit 555 more times and we can move on to the next step."

"Well in the interest of fairness I say we give Alice a few minutes to pause in between each round after all we don't want his little delicate hands to get big bad blisters from the mean ole' tree."

Kira's face turned red with anger and he shot the duo a dark glare.

"Ooooh hoo such an angry expression-carefully bunny boy you're gonna scare away all the pretty deer in the forest."

The blond muttered a string of curses (or death threats?) under his breath and then resumed his chopping.

All the while thinking

'_Why couldn't I have just been born a woman?'_

"Whining isn't attractive Alice-chan and what would the white rabbit say if he saw you now?"

"Grimm that doesn't make a whole lot of sense 'specially since his ex is more like a fox or a snake an-

"Oh shut the fuck up you're ruining the point of the whole lecture-

"Not ta mention Kira-himself is more like a lil rabbit and-

"Yeah, yeah whatever-anyway Alice if you back out now you'll never get your fox back so hurry the fuck up and chop down this tree!"

"Shouldn't Hisagi-san be here for this too? I mean the damn tree was his idea wasn't it?"

"The MistleHolly tree is a hybrid tree and just like boy who pulled the sword out of the stone it takes another very special boy to chop the hybrid tree down and that boy is-

"I'm a man!"

"Pardon me, a man then but anyway-

Kira let out a growl "You damn angels are so-

"Sexy?"

"Sweet?"

"Naturally charming?"

"Please do tell us more about ourselves Alice-_chan_."

()()()

"I haven't had this much fun in ages. Ichigo you better keep this one around or I might just have to snatch him up for myself."

Goat face was teasing, ichigo knew this ad yet he couldn't help but move a little closer to Shuhei and shoot the moronic fool known as his father another death glare.

Isshin backed up a bit "Oooh hoo hoo scary, scary sometimes I wonder if my one and only son was abducted by demons and left this strange being in his place-only one way to be sure (Ichigo did not like the look in his fathers' eyes just then-those eyes spelled trouble!) "Lift up your shirt Ichigo and let me check and see if you are in fact my son!"

What the fuck was this idiot talking about? It was freezing fucking cold outside-the hell Ichigo was just going to-

"Idiot instead of messing around you_ need_ to get your ass back home and watch over Karin and Yuzu. You know act like a father for once in your life."

"I've got a better idea," Isshin was grinning widely now and moving in much too close for Ichigo's liking "Why don't you and Shuhei come back with me and we'll all sit down and have a big family brunch?"

"He doesn't want to go anywhere with you damn idiot…or _do you?" _Ichigo asked turning towards the gray-eyed male.

Shuhei certainly had no objections to spending some time with Ichigo's family but he wanted to spend a little more private time with the berry himself so "Sure why don't we all meet up for brunch next Saturday?"

He noted that Isshin looked disappointed and Ichigo looked relieved.

"Happy? Now get out of here before you scare all the innocent children away." When the goat didn't move fast enough the orange berry kicked him in his rear and Isshin wound up eating a mouthful of snow.

Shuhei considered helping the man but he didn't want to pull away from Ichigo's natural warmth.

After an over the top dramatic wail Isshin got to his feet and dusted the snow off his pants and then stuck his hand out "I have your word on both accounts then Shuhei, you'll watch over and take care of my boy and show up for brunch next Saturday?"

"I am a man of my word and I'm looking forward to chatting with you again, Isshin."

Grinning like an idiot the man pulled him and Ichigo into a tight hug, practically crushing their spines before releasing the hold and knocking the orange berry over the head with his fist "Stay out of trouble and don't let go of him, got it?"

Shuhei was a bit surprised that Ichigo's expression had softened somewhat and nodded. "I plan to keep him for a good long time so I don't need you lecturing me, idiot." And then the berry elbowed the goat in the stomach.

An overdramatic cry could be heard clear across the snowy land as Isshin threw his hands up in the air and shouted "No love! No love for daddy at all-Shuhei hurry up and pull the cork out of my son's ass would you?"

"Uh-

"Are you actually considering this idiots wor-I can't believe you-Ichigo moved away from him and crossed his arms-scowling deeply "Figures."

Woah hey now where was this coming from?

One moment his berry was blowing hot and the next moment he was blowing cold.

Shuhei bit back an a somewhat aggravated sigh and closed the distance between them once more "Don't be like that Ichigo I wasn't agreeing with him. I honestly didn't know how to react I mean its not exactly normal behavior and-please forgive me?"

()()

A potential lover asking for forgiveness from him?

While it wasn't exactly a first it wasn't something that occurred very often. Ichigo liked Shuhei more and more.

Loved the way those deep gray tiger-shaped eyes swept him away and carried him out to sea.

He wasn't really mad. Just aggravated. But not with Shuhei. Not even with his moronic old man but with himself. Sometimes he couldn't stand being around himself.

A gurgling sound reminded him that even though they had discussed it they never actually had any breakfast "Hey before you head back do you wanna grab or a bite or something with me?"

"GUESS THAT'S MY CUE TO BE GOING NOW. FAREWELL MY SON AND MY FUTURE-SON-IN-LAW!"

Ichigo couldn't help but laugh as his father turned to leave and tripped over his own feet.

"Idiot, watch where you're walking."

Isshin laughed and continued on up the hill until he faded away from view.

Ichigo rolled his eyes and turned back to Shuhei "So um do you?"

()()

Shuhei glanced down at his watch. He didn't exactly have any real plans today so…

"Sure, I'd like that."

()()

"You stay here and make sure Alice completes his task I'm gonna go drop in on the midget again and find out what's going on in that head of his."

"Bring me a package of candy canes. Kira-chan here looks like he's ready ta fall asleep any min' now."

It wasn't an exaggeration the blond human looked one step away from having his eyes roll back into his head that was now decorated with bits of tree bark, leaves and mistletoe. His hands were scratched and raw from the use of the ax.

Grimmjow almost felt a little guilt creep over him just then. Maybe he and Shiro went a bit overboard this time?

"I'll be sure to bring blondy a sandwich or something with real nutritional value in it too."

Gold eyes glittered and Shiro made a mushy gushy kissy face "Gettin' a bit attached to Kira-chan are ya? Wonder what Ichi would say."

Electric blues narrowed to slits and Grimmjow slashed his cocky companion across the face with his tail "Don't you _**dare **_even go there, Shiro."

The bino-angel snickered "Aww what's the prob? Not likely Ichi-King'll believe me any how-all I'm sayin' is its prob'ly worth a shot."

A gust of air…causing the powdered angel to fly back a good couple of feet-making Kira snap out of his zombie like state. What the hell was going on? And what the hell was with that aura radiating off the blue-haired angel?

"_**WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?"**_

_**Shiro flicked a snowflake off his robe and yawned, "Ya say somethin' kitten?"**_

_**A growl…a growl which made the sky darken and the ground shake…**_

"_**SHIROOOOOOO!"**_

_**The powdered angel grinned, "Did ya want somethin' Grimm?"**_

_**Baby blue eyes grew wide as the feline-like angel became even more cat like…and Kira suddenly found it that was difficult to breathe-difficult to stay standing-**_

Had he missed something?

_**()()()**_

_**A battle? A spar? A war? **_

_**The way black and red energy twisted and curled in the air clashing against blinding white and electric blue-blurs-the two angels were moving so damn fast that the human couldn't keep up with their speed if he tried…he had hidden behind one of the rocks that hadn't been destroyed and watched the fight with wide eyes and an open mouth-was this an every day occurrence?**_

_**No. No there was crimson on the forests' grounds now…staining the previously pure white snow-the angels were angry…over who or what the blond did not know nor was he sure he wanted to know.**_

_**Not for the first time he kind of felt bad that Kurosaki had such 'non-angelic' figures for guardians.**_

He also made a mental note to never piss Shiro or Grimmjow off-lest he wished for an early death.

()()

Ichigo had been enjoying his time with Shuhei so much that he'd completely forgotten all about Toshiro's "promise/declaration" to drop by in the afternoon and so he felt rather awkward and guilty to find his snow-haired ex waiting impatiently on his front door step when Shuhei pulled up to his house.

()()

Shuhei did not miss the way Ichigo's overall visage and energy changed abruptly when he spotted a familiar head of white hair. Tempting, as it would be to make good on his personal vow and beat the shrimp to a bloody pulp he didn't think Ichigo would appreciate it much.

"You don't have to get out of the car and go to him," (The 'You should stay with me' part was left unsaid.)

Ichigo lifted the latch on the door but seemed to hesitate for a few minutes before opening it.

Shuhei reached for him and pulled him back inside before he could move entirely out of reach-ignoring the way his orange berry let out squeak of surprise and the squawk of protest from the snow-haired shrimp.

"Shuhei what are you doing I need to-

"What are you doing tonight?" Shuhei normally wasn't the type of guy to cut someone off-he usually had better manners than that but right now he just had to do this. Lightly brushing the inside of Ichigo's wrist "I want to take you out to dinner."

Ichigo's cheeks went slightly pink and he attempted to pull his hand back "You don't have to do that I'm still stuffed from breakfast and-

"Dessert then," a predatory grin "This time I'll take you up on your previous offer and eat it right off of you."

Pink turned to red and Ichigo eyes went wide before narrowing into slits as he half hissed/half snarled, all though his tone lacked venom leading Shuhei to believe that the younger male was more embarrassed rather than angry "You realize your contradicting your words from earlier don't you?"

"Hmm I suppose that's one way to look at it but-

"But? What do you mean but?"

Gods he was too damn hot when he was all fired up…Shuhei had half a mind to take Ichigo now-fuck waiting!

_Woah boy slow down don't rush a good thing. The wait will be worth it. _

"What if I told you I don't expect anything from you in return?"

The berry (understandably) didn't look like he believed a single syllable "You really expect me to believe that?"

"I promise."

"Riiight. One thing always leads to another and before I know it I'm spread eagle on your winding staircase with a g-

"As lovely as that image would be," a leer "And it would be quite lovely _indeed-_

"See that's exactly what I'm talking about you're just like the rest of-

"Shhh don't say things you'll regret later Ichigo just listen to me. I won't do anything if you don't want me to-we can go to dinner and then just sit and chat afterwards-no pressure-no lies-just us."

The berry frowned "But you won't be happy with just sitting and chatting-I know guys like you and you-

"Ichigo you need to trust me. While I'll admit that I have a serious case of grab-ass hands I won't touch or kiss you unless you touch or kiss me first." And yet even as Shuhei said these words he invaded the younger mans' personal space once more demanding all of his attention with a single heated gaze and husky purr "Let me take you out?"

()()

Apache, Toshiro and a few other people that Ichigo had fooled around with/dated always cared only about themselves-his thoughts/feelings/opinions/needs/wants hadn't mattered…it made Ichigo feel warm and bubbly inside-still if he let Shuhei have everything now both parties would end up disappointed.

"I'll think about it. Keep your phone on."

And with these words Ichigo stepped out of the car, determined not to look back at Shuhei even though he could feel the man's gaze on him-he let out a small uber unmanly yelp when a hand smacked his ass.

Ichigo whirled back around fully intent on shooting a glare but faltered when Shuhei smiled at him "Sorry I just couldn't resist."

()()

"Are you trying to rub it in my face Kurosaki or are you really that starved for attention?"

What the hell was Toshiro talking about?

"We're not having this conversation Toshiro." Ichigo fished for his keys fully intending on opening the door but Toshiro grabbed his arm and forced him to turn and face him.

"Yes we are."

Ichigo wasn't going to let his ex speak to him like a little on call bitch not anymore. Cinnamon and coffee orbs blazed with fury "If you're just going to stand on my front door step and insult me then you can leave. I don't have the energy for you today."

Icicle blues flickered "Are you refusing me entry into your house?"

Ichigo carded his fingers through his unruly orange locks "Might as well, I mean shouldn't that wife of yours be dropping in soon? Maybe you should go make dinner reservations and buy her flowers or something?"

White brows narrowed into a thin line "I thought we agreed that we were going to enjoy this time together and not discuss Hinamori."

Ichigo opened his mouth to respond but his sentence was drowned out by the sound of a tire screeching and…

"Shiro-chan, babe I'm finally here! Ewww get off me you useless mutt! Shoo! Shoo!"

Ichigo turned to find Hinamori fucking Momo stepping out of a taxi-cab and kicking an innocent chow with her over priced spiked heels.

The stupid whore he hoped the pup would bite a chunk out of her damn ankle!

Ichigo quickly raced over to shield the puppy from further abuse-inspecting its tiny paws and adorable face, cradling it close in his arms before turning to the bitch (ignoring the urge to grab a fist full of her mousy brown hair and slam her face first into the side walk) "Hello Hinamori (yes he was being cordial and why? Because Kaa-chan taught him to be that's why) if you'd like I'll take your bags and put them in the house and give you and Toshiro a moment to talk."

The petite brunette scrunched her nose up at him "So long as you don't break anything then I suppose that will be acceptable."

Ichigo bit the inside of his cheek and forced himself to nod (like an obedient servant)

Shifting the pup and letting it perch on one of his shoulders he picked up the bags and headed for his front door ignoring Hinamori's plastic smile.

"And while you're at it Kurosaki go and put some tea on and lay out of few of those scones on a tray."

"Scones what scones?'

"The scones in the box, must you act so incredibly thick Kurosaki?"

Ichigo willed himself not to flinch as Toshiro fired off a familiar insult and nodded obediently once more.

"Shiro-chan, darling are you sure it's a wise idea? I mean shouldn't he wash his hands of that _fairy jizz_ first?"

Silence. Predictably his snow-haired ex made no move or motion to rise to his defense. Ichigo scratched the pup behind the ears and continued on into his house with out saying another word.

()()

Not wanting to be stuck in a house with Toshiro and Hina-whore all by himself Ichigo decided to call up one of his life long friends…she picked up after the third ring

"_Hello?"_

"**It's Ichigo."**

"_Obviously, so what's up?"_

"**Toshiro is here visiting and that wouldn't be so bad except ****she's**** here too and I'm not sure I can play the good host for long."**

"_Are you asking me to come over and rescue you?"_

Not exactly he was just hoping for a little company because if history was anything to go by Toshiro and Hinamori would be too wrapped up in each other to even notice he was there anymore."

"**I'm just wondering if you and Nel can come over for a couple of hours unless you're busy?"**

**There was a moments pause and then…**

"_Nel and the girls went camping with her half brother and I really don't feel like filing papers when its such a tedious task so I'll swing by in an hour…until then just try to refrain from sprinkling arsenic into their tea cups okay Ichigo?"_

**A sigh "I'll try, thanks Tatsuki see you in a few."**

**()()**

Ichigo wasn't much of a dancer-never had been but it was a good way to distract himself-put some music on and get lost in the smooth melody…

But of course his snow-haired ex and the bitch had to ruin it by deciding to dance as well-pressing their small bodies so damn close they might as well melt into each other…Ichigo couldn't bare to watch it for long and so he quickly retreated back into his kitchen.

He wasn't exactly hungry but eating something helped him deal with his inner misery…

He pushed the chairs in and then opened the third cabinet to find Kon's not-so-secret stash of jolly-time snacks-why his cousin insisted on calling basic junk food jolly time snacks?

Because he usually liked to pig out after a good fuck….as for Ichigo himself…Kon's snacks were used like 'pep me up pills' they put him in a better mood.

**()()**

"If you're not gonna fucking do it right then don't do it at all!" Grimmjow snarled right before he ripped the bottle of antiseptic out of the blond humans' hands and slapped him away with his tail…which the blond swore had a mind all its own.

Kira grumbled and made his way over to the bino-angel, hoping that he'd be a little more appreciative of his kind gesture to apply disinfecting alcohol and ointment to their wounds.

The powdered angel had a particularly nasty set of scratches right above his heart (well assuming angels had hearts) and another near one of his wings… …Kira had barely touched the skin and the angel was howling and smacking his hands away

"I know bein' blond and all ya are a lil slow on the uptake from time ta time but try not bein' such an idiot these wings are attached ya know?"

"I'm trying to help but if you don't want my help I'll leave."

And the human turned to go only he didn't get very far…

"Ya ain't goin' no where Kira-chan we've wasted 'nough time-on three we'll all pick up the tree."

Surely the angel had to be joking. Chopping the damn thing was a big enough challenge but picking it up…

Kira let out a sigh…perhaps he should look at the Brightside…if he threw out his back maybe Gin could nurse him back to health?

()()

By the time Tatsuki showed up Ichigo was half way under the table (because along with Kon's jolly time snacks he'd found a bottle of rum) and almost forgot about the whore and his snow-haired ex going at it like horny teenagers who couldn't keep themselves in check.

"Ichigo why is there a pair of soiled panties hanging from your Christmas wreath?"

Ichigo smiled drunkenly at his friend and lifted the bottle of rum to his lips-frowning when he discovered it was empty…he let the bottle fall away from him and struggled to stand up.

Tatsuki took pity on him and helped him to his feet.

"You're drunk."

"Nah, not really jus' a lil tipsy…you have _pretty_ eyes you know?"

"Riiiight you're not drunk at all,"

"Nope I'm not," and yet with these words Ichigo started tipping sideways and Tatsuki glared at him…

"Idiot don't fall on me are you trying to break my arm?"

Ichigo's response…blinking, shrugging and throwing up. Yep in that order.

And then the room spun, Tatsuki doubled and the world went black.

()()()

Orange lashes fluttered open and Ichigo found himself lying in a bed although he couldn't recall how he had gotten there-in addition-as brown eyes adjusted to the blinding light he did not recognize the cream colored walls or deep royal purple bed sheets.

Right then so he clearly was not in his own room…let alone his own house…and although he had known Tatsuki for years and years there were just some things friends didn't show other friends so where was he exactly?

Ichigo heard the sound of the door opening…a checkered stocking came into view followed by a full figure "Ah good you're up I know its probably gonna make me come off as such a lame ass but I was a little worried."

Shuhei?

Looking deliciously grope-able in a fuzzy black sweat and tight jeans.

But why was he in Shuhei's house?

"So anyway if you're up for it I ordered us some dinner since I'm a crap cook," a grin "I figure it's the thought that counts right?"

Uh huh. Yeah okay then. Had Ichigo missed something? Last he remembered he was drowning his "sorrows" in junk food and alcohol before Tatsuki came along and…

Ichigo scratched his head, relieved to not find traces of cheese wiz in it or something equally disgusting. He sat up and pushed the covers off of him and stretched his arms over his head and asked, "What time is it?"

"Quarter after 7."

As in almost 8 o clock in the freakin' evening? WTF? He'd slept for 4 or more hours of the damn day away. Ichigo felt a dull throbbing pain right between his eyes and winced…

FUCK! Shuhei must think he was such an idiot!

"I got to admit up until now I never thought I'd find the idea of snoring cute."

Ichigo's face flushed and then he scowled.

Shuhei chuckled lightly and scratched his cheek. "I guess you don't like being called cute huh? I'll have to work on that-let's see now babe or hun sounds too girly and sexy or sweetie sounds too perverted and gay ( a snort) maybe I'll just call you Ichi-cakes?"

Ichigo raised an orange brow as if to say 'Get serious!'

"No think about it for a minute. It can have a double meaning: You're sweet like cake and you enjoy eating cake."

It was pretty corny but Ichigo had been called a lot worse so he gave a shrug "Sure I guess, whatever."

"Not all the time of course," Shuhei rushed to say, "I wouldn't want to embarrass you out in public or anything like that." Gray eyes glittered "Teasing you and fondling you is one thing but lovey dovey pet names should be kept for special times-just between the two of us."

A non-committal shrug "I mean I guess if we're going to be together we should find some sort of common ground."

"Hey, hey what's with the _if_ part in that sentence? Why are you talking about us as though this is just a temporary arrangement Ichigo?"

()()

Shuhei crossed the room and stopped right in front of him-causing the bed to dip as he loomed over the orange berry pressing his forehead against the younger mans' making it impossible for Ichigo to avoid his gaze "Not just tonight, not just tomorrow but forever and beyond."

The orange berry blinked rapidly for a few minutes and then burst out into laughter falling backwards on to the bed "Forever and beyond? What the hell is that?" He offered Shuhei a wry grin "What are you secretly some sort of sci-fi nerd or something?"

It was Shuhei's turn to scowl. "Ichigo this isn't a joke."

"Sure, sure," breaking out into another fit of giggles and rolling around on the bed Ichigo continued to tease "If I went inside your dresser or your closet would I find pictures of you wearing rainbow striped suspenders and coke bottle glasses too? What other secrets are you hiding," more laughing "I get it now-this whole bad boy image-with the tattoos and everything its just a cover up because you don't want the world to know that you're a dork."

Ichigo had a great smile…so open and honest and carefree…so completely at ease. He didn't seem to be the least bit wary or anxious-it meant that-at least in the berrys' subconscious-he trusted Shuhei.

Kicking his feet up in the air like a little boy-laughing so damn hard water was streaming from the corner of his eyes now and down his cheeks and on to the bedding.

The berry had let all of his guards down making it all to easy for Shuhei to catch his swinging feet and pin him down beneath his larger frame.

"For the record I've dated a couple of nerds and trust me when I say they can teach even the most shameless of perverts a trick or two."

()()

It didn't take long for Ichigo to fall into Shuhei's rythmn-letting his tongue glide and move against the dark haired males-pulling Shuhei closer only to push the man away when the lingering taste of vomit drowned out and nearly-overpowered the unique rich flavor that he had tasted before…

Fuck! He was the single biggest idiot on the planet-how the hell could he even think of kissing Shuhei when he had thrown up chunks a few hours ago.

Wiping his lips roughly and straightening out his wrinkled clothing Ichigo quickly moved off the bed and headed for the door…it took Shuhei (who was still slightly in a daze) a moment or two to register what was going on and once he did he enveloped the berry from behind "Where do you think you're going?"

Ichigo shook his head and avoided the question and asked one of his own as he struggled to break free from the other mans' hold "Where are my shoes?"

A sigh "There in the hallway why?"

"I need to-

"I don't want you to leave."

Ichigo didn't even have to see Shuhei's face to know the man was pouting-he could hear it in his tone

"I just need to go out and get some things but I'll come back."

"What kinds of things? Whatever you need I've already got so just-

Ichigo shook his head and forced himself to not get distracted by the low husk in Shuhei's voice-forced his body not to react to the tongue licking the shell of his ear or the fingers tracing circles around his nipples-commanding a certain organ to stay down-

He could do this he just had to breathe deep and carefully detach himself from Shuhei-play it casual "If I'm going to sleep over I'm going to need a few essentials like tooth paste and-

"I've got toothpaste Ichigo."

"Yeah well I'm kind of weird," the berry lied smoothly "I don't like to share so I need to go and get my own-along with mouthwash and breath mints-some sugar free gum-a change of underwear-I should be back in an hour-two hours tops."

With a bit reluctance Shuhei released his hold on Ichigo. Ichigo snorted at the expression on the man's face and continued towards the door throwing one last question over his shoulder "Do you mind if I borrow one of your jackets and a scarf?"

"What's mine is yours. There's a coat rack in the hallway…you'll find scarves-boots and anything you could possibly need to protect yourself from the cold."

"Great. I'll be back in time for dessert," Ichigo smirked "til then." and let Shuhei fill in the blanks.

()()

Shortly after Ichigo walked out the door Shuhei felt two familiar twin taps on his shoulder.

"Since you're obviously not going to listen to us and just go ahead and do whatever the hell ya want then you can at least promise that you'll bring your bubblebath lovin'-ass to the winter carnival." Grimmjow's grin was wide and unfriendly as ever but Shuhei refused to be intimidated.

"Got it. Anything else?"

He ignored the way electric blues flashed and began tidying up his room while the angels continued to "talk"

"While ya are at it make sure ya fill your wallet up with lots and lots o' cash we expect ya to spoil Ichi like a true King."

A carnival? Why were the angels talking about a winter carnival or all things?

"What's the matter," a sneer "don't know how to throw parties inside the pearly gates?"

A white boot came down hard on top of his back forcing him to eat a mouthful of carpet…a snicker followed "We party plenty Shu, the carnival ain't for us its for Ichi."

Of course it was for Ichigo. But why?

"Never mind why. Just get your ass there and give the brat the holiday of all holidays to remember."

()()

Calling Shuhei's skills just good wasn't nearly giving the man enough credit. Not even close.

Up until this moment in time Ichigo had always thought that that the expression 'good enough to make ones toes curl' was moronic and unrealistic-he was quite happy to be proven wrong.

But he also felt a little lame and lazy just lying here while Shuhei licked bits of chocolate and cream of his body-leaving no piece of skin untouched.

Shuhei leaned up every few minutes and offered Ichigo a sample. It was quite tasty but something seemed to be missing…or more accurately there was something not quite right about this whole scenario.

Oh yeah that's right he was in his birthday suit while Shuhei was still wearing all of his clothes.

The least the gray-eyed male could do was give Ichigo a glimpse or two couldn't he?

Well actually he wanted more than a mere glimpse but he wasn't about to beg for it-after all he had to keep some of his masculine pride!

He just had to be patient because eventually Shuhei would tire of licking him up and down-eventually the older man would press his hard delicious body against Ichigo's own and create a delicious friction-eventually Ichigo would wind up with his ass in the air and face in the overstuffed pillow.

Yes patience…good things come to those who wait.

The orange berry could hear the faint ticking of the clock against one of the walls…time seemed to be moving at ridiculously slow ass pace…exactly how long did Shuhei plan to stay down there anyway?

It wasn't like Ichigo was a woman with several juicy canals and passage ways to travel so…

()()

Shuhei had bedded many men and women a like and even on the rare occasion (aka moments that were meant for his man diary and he swore to take to his grave) when he let them bed him he knew what signs to look for-knew what sounds to listen for-as he was recognized each and every moan, sigh, squeak, grunt, groan, whine, pant, cry for more!

He considered himself a champion in the sack although he hadn't been born that way…it was something that was achieved through years of experimenting, research and learning…not that he'd tell his lover this…why ruin his uber sex god image with the truth when a little white lie every now and then sounded better?

It was a common misconception that all humans were wired the same way…each human reacted differently to different types of stimulation…his orange berry to be was no exception to the rule.

Ichigo looked, smelled and tasted better than Shuhei could have ever dreamt up even with his wildest of dreams/fantasies.

It was taking almost everything in his power to not let his tongue venture any further than it already had.

Shuhei was not a major fan of 'ass-eating'-actually he wouldn't stick his tongue or his lips any where near someone's asshole unless they had a very perky and pretty looking one-call him shallow but fat and wrinkles and hair on the human ass was not sexy…he liked his ass like he liked his bodies…smooth, toned and a rosy pink or ruby red in color.

Not that he wouldn't make an exception on occasion…for example Ichigo's ass was a perfect peach color and Shuhei simply could not resist taking a bite…not enough to puncture the skin but enough to leave a bruise.

The guy was like a sinful not-so-little treat and Shuhei simply couldn't get enough.

There was only one…well not a problem exactly but….Shuhei noted that even though Ichigo was squirming and writhing and slick with sweat and pre-cum that the berry hadn't officially come yet.

Not to be discouraged because some people just took longer than others to achieve full orgasmic bliss Shuhei switched up his technique and

"_**Ya mind tellin' me why ya are thinkin' up pointless shit when ya have Kings' tight little body at your mercy eh bubble-boy?"**_

Really now? The angel couldn't come and harass him later…couldn't enter his mind while he was sleeping or sipping a late night cup of coffee or something-why the hell did he have to enter his mind when he was in the middle of pleasuring his berry?

"_What the fuck are you doing here?"_

_A snicker "__**Enjoyin' the show o' course-would be better if ya stop actin' like such a pussy and just take that sweet ass already but I s'pouse I can give ya props for treatin' Ichi with such care and all.'**_

_**()()**_

"_Are you aware of how dirty the human mouth is-what if I had a sore throat and you asked me to go down on you? There's a good chance that it would spread and then we'd both be of no use to the other, which is why I'm not putting my mouth any where your pecker-so pull your damn pants back up!"_

_Orange lashes lowered and nimble fingers rushed to pull pants on and a zipper up "I just thought-_

_A snort "That's you're problem Kurosaki you're always thinking about meaningless shit when you should be focusing on more important things," a sneer "Speaking of it's a quarter after one o' clock shouldn't you be doing something besides sitting around making moon eyes and throwing yourself at me."_

"_I- a sigh "it's just we've been together for awhile and yet you haven't really-since that one time and-_

_Icicle blues rolled-another sneer "Sex is that what you're having such a difficulty saying Kurosaki? If you can't even speak about it like an adult then you shouldn't be bringing it up at all."_

_Brown eyes dimmed and the orange haired male clenched and unclenched his fists and muttered "Well I guess I'll just leave you to your work th-_

_A hand grabbed him by the forearm and Ichigo found himself being pulled into Toshiro's lap_

"_If you're really that anxious for my cock…get me excited."_

_()()()_

"_**Brat your sex life with Shuhei isn't gonna be much of one if you keep getting caught up in the past."**_

Ichigo flinched and scowled. Only Grimmjow-no correction he could feel Shiro's energy close by-idiot was probably lecturing Shuhei about one thing or another-only his angels would appear at a time of great inconvenience and make him feel ever lamer than he already did.

"_Is there something you needed besides bothering me as a favorite past time?"_

"_**Actually now that you mention it brat, I dropped in because I think you and your boy Shu should abandon this stupid bed and go break the new sled in-the right way."**_

_Of all the asinine-_

"_Damn it Grimmjow go away and just let me enjoy my blow job in peace!"_

The blue haired angel laughed before pulling out of the human's mind.

He wasn't trying to piss his favorite human off he just wanted the brat to loosen up a little. Ichigo used to love the holidays and the whole point of bubblebath Shu was to reignite the flame in the orange berry…although things weren't going quite the way Grimmjow and Shiro had planned they were going smoothly enough…

A wide grin

'_And now to kick things up another notch.'_

()()

A door opened and a fuzzy red slipper was the first thing to come into view…Kira let out a groan and stood up and ignored the way his muscles screamed at him for crouching in such a position for such a damn long time. Why he was camping out side of Gin and Rangiku's bedroom door?

Loneliness…Longing…A need to be near his ex…all of the above.

"Izuru have you been sitting out here in this cold hallway all night?"

Not really knowing what to say the blond fiddled with the stubborn bang that always fell in his face "Er um Rangiku-san I wasn't trying to spy or anything I just-

The ginger blonde giggled behind her hand "Stop being so cute Izuru I might just have to eat you up before I even let you into the bedroom."

The hell?

Baby blues blinked rapidly and Kira stumbled as Rangiku pulled him inside and shut the door behind them.

He wasn't sure what was happening or for that matter why he wasn't protesting but….

The room admitted a soft glow and it was so warm and the bed looked so inviting even if it did have a tied up sleeping silver fox on it-wait a minute-what was-?

The blond looked back at the pregnant woman "Um Rangiku-san I'm not quite sure I-did I-

Rangiku smiled at him and pushed him towards the bed-

Kira blinked rapidly again trying to put the pieces together but failing quite spectacularly at it-

Not quite against his will he found his gaze drifting to the form that he knew all to well…let his baby blues drink in the porcelain white skin, long neck, pointed shoulders, well toned chest, narrow hips and…

The blond licked his lips not knowing why Rangiku was apparently offering a chance to do this but not really caring…asleep or awake Kira didn't care he would be more than happy to wrap his whole mouth around Gin and then some…could practically taste the pre-cum which was dribbling on to the bed on his lips-

"Yer know I don't appreciate bein' ignored Izuru-chan."

Kira jumped and nearly fell on his ass…Gin was awake? He certainly hadn't expected that.

Ruby red eyes glittered and the silver fox (miraculously no longer bound) moved to pick the blond up and pull him on to the bed-

Kira opened his mouth to speak and then shut it when he still wasn't quite sure what to say-what was he supposed to say. Gin couldn't really mean what he thought he meant could he?

And Rangiku? He looked back to find that the ginger blonde had taken a seat in a rocking chair-a smile on her face, powder blues twinkling "If you continue to keep us waiting Izuru we might just have to punish you."

We?

Did the woman mean to suggest?

Kira wasn't sure he was ready for this.

He turned his attention to Gin ready to protest? Shout? Demand an explanation? Beg to have one more night with the man? He didn't know what ever he had been about to say had never found its way past his lips since the silver fox and used the opportunity to claim his mouth.

Waving his arms frantically for a good couple of minutes-desperately-pointlessly trying to pull away from what he had never officially let go of…the blond completely missed the look that passed between Gin and Rangiku…had no idea what they had in store for him.

()()

When Ichigo grabbed fistfuls of his hair and started growling like some sort of escaped jungle cat Shuhei knew that it wouldn't be much longer-switching up his pace-moving from a vigorous one into a slower, lazier one-

He counted…not even minutes…less than a minute…

He readied his mouth and relaxed his throat ready to welcome the special nectar that only his orange berry could give to him-milking every last drop until there was nothing left.

()(0

Ichigo yanked Shuhei's grinning face upwards and attacked the other mans' mouth with vigor and unrestrained lust.

He slid and grinded their bodies together…reaching around to pull Shuhei's neglected organ out from the confines of his pants quickly giving it quick and firm strokes-Ichigo relished in the deep guttural moans secretly (or not so secretly) loving that he had this kind of power.

()()

It was hot-so damn hot all of a sudden…it felt like they were trapped in the middle of a great fire storm-no matter how many layers of clothing had been shed-both of their bodies were dripping with sweat now.

Ichigo felt like his brain might be melting too- wanting to stop and at the same time never wanting the night to end-it was above and beyond anything…Shuhei had explored and awakened parts of his body that he hadn't even been aware of-he felt so deliciously alive!

Scratches and bites littered both their bodies-the mixture of sweat and copious amounts of cum making it sting and burn in an oh so fucking good can't get enough way!

They continued to roll around on the bed like lion cubs in spring time-feeling like they had fooled around long enough and it was time to get to the main event Ichigo straddled Shuhei and guided his fingers towards his puckered hole-easily sliding in two past the tight ring of muscle-reaching-reaching-

The movements stopped-halted just like that-Shuhei's brows furrowed together

"Do you smell something?"

Ichigo smelled a lot of things. Sweat and jizz mainly but also Shuhei's natural odor as well as his own-it was expected and they would probably jump in the shower afterwards so why was-

"Don't stop it's just getting to-

The fingers slipped out of his ass and Shuhei was full on frowning now.

Ichigo's brow twitched. What the fuck was going on. Crossing his arms and glaring he demanded an explanation "Shuhei what's wrong why did you-

But Shuhei wasn't even paying attention to him. Rather the other man was searching the room for his clothes-

The fuck?

Was it seriously over before it even began?

Ichigo was pissed. And embarrassed and still horny and fuck…sure he could finish the job himself but he didn't want that-it wasn't enough.

Kicking the blankets off the bed and scowling at the sight of Shuhei's still turned back Ichigo let three minutes pass before

"SHUHEI ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW YOU BASTARD-WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? WHY DID YOU SUDDENLY JUST-

Shuhei finally turned back to the orange berry-a look of regret? Pity? It was difficult to decipher in his eyes "Sorry."

Sorry?

"Sorry? What the fuck do you mean sorry? Sorry you wasted my time? Sorry you're just not feeling up to it after all-

"Are you angry at me?"

Shuhei sounded confused.

Yeah well Ichigo felt confused and hurt. So join the club asshole. He couldn't believe this was-

A t-shirt hit him square in the chest "Put that on, we need to get out of here."

The hell he was going anywhere until Shuhei explained this sudden switch of personality/events-he didn't even fucking know!

()()

"You set Hisagi-san's house on fire?"

"Well just a mini fire-we can assure you that both bubble-boy and Ichi got out safely."

Kira couldn't believe what he was hearing-he was still coming down from the great white paradise when the not-so-angelic duo came knocking at the door.

Rangiku and Gin naturally didn't even hear the knocks.

The silver fox just mumbled, "Don't stay away too long Izuru," and then curled himself more closely around Rangiku.

Kira no longer felt bile rising up in his throat at the sight and nodded before climbing out of bed.

"That's not the point! You can't just go and set some ones' house on fire."

"Now, now Kira-chan its not very smart of you to raise your voice to the same angels who helped you reunite with your love now is it?"

The blond shot both angels are glare and crossed his arms waiting for them to elaborate-he couldn't help but feel that the duo was leaving out some very important details. S

hiro started rummaging through the cabinets so Grimm was the one to answer the human "We had no other choice but to do it Alice."

A raised brow "Meaning?"

"Meaning according to the contract Hisagi Shuhei and Kurosaki Ichigo can not officially mate until the 24th of this month or else...well let's just say it won't spell a happy ending for our love-birds-to be."

()()

Ichigo felt like the biggest asshole in the world for not recognizing a fire when he smelled one but in his defense he was still floating and dancing on clouds of orgasmic bliss so of course he hadn't been thinking rationally still…

How did it happen?

"Did you accidentally leave the stove on or something?"

Shuhei shot him a look as if to say 'What kind of idiot do you take me for? Of course not!"

"Do you think it was just some teenagers fooling around or is someone out to get you?" 

"Out to get me. Hmm I suppose its possible-I've certainly pissed off enough people so…

Ichigo couldn't help but think that Shuhei's behavior was a bit strange. Granted it wasn't a huge fire but still it had burnt a good hole out of half of the kitchen and the fire department said it would probably take a few weeks to get rid of the smell.

So the first thing that jumped to his mind was

"You could come stay at my house for awhile?"

It was a little out of character for Ichigo to say this but at the same time he could get to know Shuhei even better.

"Are you sure?"

"Can't be that much worse than sharing with my cousin and he's a complete slob so…

"And what about the others?"

"Others?"

"Your ex and his girlfriend?"

Oh? Oh! Well…the house was certainly big enough for the four of them but Ichigo didn't feel like sitting across from that _thing _at the breakfast tableevery morning or heaven for bid walk in on Hina-whore while she was showering. And there was certainly no love lost between Toshiro and Shuhei so…plan B!

"We'll stay at a hotel suite-I've got a friend who has a brother who can get us in for half the price and twice the amount of space er I mean if you don't mind I mean its just uh sugges-mph!"

Shuhei really needed to warn him before he was going to kiss him-not that Ichigo was complaining-not really but…

"I'd love to." 

()()

Snuggling. Spooning. Sharing food off each others plates.

The couple in bloom spent the next three days and nights at the hotel suite and although Shuhei didn't even bat a lash at the idea of blowing off work the same could not be said about Ichigo…it was around 8 o clock in the morning when he finally decided to call the school and apologize.

Hiyori chewed his ass out for a good 15 minutes, before calling both him and Shuhei idiots and explained that she had hired substitutes in their place but that she expected both of them to report to her office Monday morning right after News Years.

Ichigo tried to explain that he didn't need to have that much time off but the blonde wasn't hearing it, she wished him a happy holiday, told him to wish her luck at the casino (seemed she was blowing off work her self in order to travel the high seas, stalk a man she met on the net and win big-on both accounts) and hung up.

Since Ichigo had put her on speaker Shuhei had heard the entire thing and was chuckling almost the entire time.

It was almost like a foreshadowing to what married life would be like-the thought made him smile.

()()

As much as Shuhei did not wish to separate himself from Ichigo he knew he shouldn't put off calling the insurance company forever. He also knew that he should consider filing a report and possibly getting a new alarm system installed-if someone really did break in and set a fire he wouldn't want it to happen again.

Although the more he thought about the more it just didn't make any sense. Sure he had pissed off plenty of his exes but none of them had been deranged enough to commit arson…no Shuhei had a nagging feeling that the "fire-starters" were two not-so angelic beings by the names of Shiro and Grimmjow.

But he wasn't going to tell his orange berry this.

Why ruin the mood?

()()

Shuhei was a little surprised he had barely been home for an hour and already someone was knocking on his door.

Not really in the mood for company but knowing it was rude to ignore someone, he set down his cup of coffee and the mail he'd been sorting through and went to answer the door.

()()

A shiny red package which read, 'OPEN ME'

There was no return address so Shuhei had no way of knowing who the sender was but he would probably be able to figure it out once he saw what was inside. Shutting the door with the heel of his stocking clad foot he returned to the kitchen.

()()

Shuhei carefully examined the package. His first guess was that the angels were behind this but…what could they possibly give him that he didn't already have?

It couldn't be the tree he requested because legend had it the mystical/magical tree was well over 7 feet tall and one couldn't exact rip it out of the ground…at least he didn't think they could-still the package wasn't big enough-he raised a brow at the words 'OPEN ME'…he didn't recognize the handwriting which left him feeling even more baffled.

Furrowing his brows Shuhei decided to put an end to the unnecessary suspense and just open the damn thing.

()()

A ticket? A ticket to a Russian ballet?

Shuhei racked his brain trying to recall if Ichigo had said or mentioned anything about a ballet during the time they spent together but nothing came to mind-not even a whisper or echo.

Perhaps it was a spur of the moment type thing? Perhaps his orange berry was a gentle spirit who had appreciation for art and theatre-there was certainly nothing wrong with that.

Shuhei didn't even have to think about it twice. He'd be more than happy to throw on one of the few tuxedos or suits he owned and be Ichigo's date.

He almost felt like squealing in a totally unmanly fashion-not that it mattered since no one would be there to see it still…

An official second date with Ichigo sounded fucking grand provided it was in fact from Ichigo and not some one else.

What if he was jumping to the wrong conclusion and it was simply an ex girlfriend or a colleague from work? Shuhei shuddered as the image of a Headmistress Hiyori came to mind-oh dear god it couldn't be an invitation from her could it?

Or what if it came from Kira? What if there was a chance that Ichigo saw something that Shuhei had missed all these years-was it possible the blue-eyed blond was in love with him? If so why did he wait and arggggg this was annoying and stupid-there was no way Kira could have feelings for him and even on the slight chance that he did Shuhei only had eyes for Ichigo.

Banging his head on the table Shuhei let out a groan "Where are those damn angels when I need them?"

"Ya rang my bell Shu, now what can I do for ya?"

Little powdered bastard not even entering through the door or the window but instead choosing to enter through the hole in the floor where his dishwasher had once been.

Grinning much too brightly for the dark-haired human's liking and munching on a cookies n cream candy bar.

Is sugar the only thing this guy ever ate?

"Did you send this ticket to me or do you know who sent it?"

Grin stretching wider, gold eyes glittering "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't why ya ask?"

"Because I'm feeling a little confused and I was hoping you could-

"Hopin' I could tell ya what's goin' on in bunny-boys' head?"

"Well, yeah I mean I thought Kira and I were just friends-

"But?"

"Well Ichigo seems to think that Kira might have some sort of feelings for me and I told him that its stupid but now that I really think about it-I mean I wasn't trying to lead him on or anything I know I can get a bit carried away with the flirting at times and there was that one Halloween when we fooled around a bit but we were both pretty shit-faced and-

"And?"

"Nothing happened. At least I think nothing happened-well even if something happened it didn't-doesn't mean anything but I don't," Shuhei paused and scratched at his cheek "Look I don't want to be an asshole and break any hearts (well not anymore than I have in the past) but-

"But?"

"This ticket what does it mean? Is it from Kira? Does he have feelings for me?"

"What are ya tryin' to tell me Shu? Are you feelin' hot and bothered over Kira all a sudden?"

"What? NO! I just-

"Sounds to me like ya are a bit conflicted-that's not cool playin' with Kira-chan and Kings' minds like that-especially King he deserves better than that-

"Now wait a minute I didn't say-

"Why are ya hung up on Alice all a sudden anyway?"

"I'm not I just-Kira is a good guy and he deserves-

Gold eyes narrowed and Shiro stopped eating "Blah, blah and so you're boring me-get to the point or I'll kick you!"

"Where is Kira?"

"He's busy."

"Busy doing what?"

Shuhei had witnessed quite a few things in the last few days. Things he hadn't thought possible until he met the angels-but all of those things paled in comparison to what was now…

The energy in the room darkened-turning an almost pitch black color if energy really could generate a color that is-and Shuhei felt that it could-it felt difficult to breathe or think as the angel glared not just daggers at him-no this was much sharper…the golden color reminded him of spinning golden fire balls-black and red tendrils which looked a lot like jungle vines shot out of Shiro's sleeves and lashed at the air…only inches away from Shuhei's face.

The angels' face twisted into a hideous grin as he neared closer and closer to the human….NO it couldn't even be called a grin…Shuhei wasn't sure what to call it…Shiro looked nothing short of demonic with his wings now fully exposed.

"_**If I find out ya are fuckin' with King**_

Shuhei felt his blood run cold as the vines wrapped around his neck and squeezed-

_**-make no mistake I'll kill ya!"**_

()()

DEC 21st

"You clean up well, Ichigo."

"Oh I couldn't agree more you look so dashing Kurosaki-kun."

Dashing? Who the fuck used words like dashing any more anyway…Inoue was a sweet girl but sometimes Ichigo wanted to lean over and slap her silly.

_Especially for forcing him to wear this itchy ass outfit. 'Jeans and t-shirts weren't allowed in the opera house' (Rukia had informed him at the last minute) they made a special trip to the Kuchiki mansion just for the occasion…where Rukia spent 15 minutes convincing her older brother to lend out one of his best suits for the night._

_Byakuya had taken one look at Ichigo before turning back to his younger sister. "Absolutely not."_

_It was nothing new really-Byakuya had never been the friendliest of people and a lot of times when he did direct his attention towards the orange berry, Ichigo couldn't help but feel like he was some how dirtying the older man with his "commoner" appearance simply by standing there._

_Byakuya wasn't a stuck up snob exactly he just…held and conducted himself in a more formal sort of manner. _

_Not that this had stopped Rukia-the moment the proud nobleman disappeared up the winding staircase and into his study, Rukia grabbed Ichigo by the arm and raided the mans' closet._

_()()_

"I'm really am so happy that you decided to join us after all Kurosaki-kun. Ballet isn't for everyone but I have a feeling you'll fall in love with the dancing and the music just like I did." The buxom brunette let out a dreamy sigh and held one of the programs close to her, cradling it as though it were a precious newborn child. 

"Yes I'm excited as well even more so to find out who this mysterious date of yours is-do I _know_ him?"

Ichigo thought about it for a minute. Karakura Town wasn't an uber large so there was a possibility that Rukia might know Shuhei or at least know of the man.

"If I tell you you'll just go out of your way to embarrass me all night."

It was one of the raven-haired womans' favorite past times.

"I'll embarrass you either way Ichigo so you might as well just save yourself a headache and tell me who it is or I'll start running up to complete strangers and ask them to strip and dance naked with you."

The three friends were standing outside of the theatre because there was still 30 minutes before the doors opened (much to Ichigo's annoyance) and so they used this time to chat-or more accurately Rukia used this time to drive him crazy with her usual antics.

"TELL ME WHO IT IS."

'NO."

Rukai started stomping her feet like a child and whining "Oh come on Ichigo I wanna knoooooow, tell meeeeee."

Brown eyes rolled "You'll know soon enough now stop doing that you're going to get us arrested or something."

The raven-haired woman snorted and then let out a wolf whistle.

"Ooooh lala oh my, my."

"What is it Ruki-bunny?" The brunette asked becoming just as excited as her girlfriend.

The raven did not answer only turned to Ichigo and smirked "Tall, dark and sexy wouldn't happen to be your mystery man would he?"

Ichigo wasn't sure he'd go so far as describing Shuhei as being tall or dark…sure he was taller than him but most guys were-there were only a few exceptions to this rule-and as for dark…well barring Shuhei's dark, stormy tiger shaped eyes and feathered black locks like a raven or a crow he wasn't really dark…although there was a possibility that the man might have a dark side but…

"Hey there."

"You came."

Ichigo didn't want to come off sounding like some nag or a whiny girl but he hadn't heard from Shuhei in a few days and wondered if the man had even received his invite.

"Yeah uh sorry about that," Shuhei scratched at his powdered cheek (seems he had received word that tattoos were highly inappropriate for theatres and opera houses and decided to tone down his punk-like style a bit for the occasion) "I shut off my phone for a few days because I had to take care of some things and couldn't afford to get distracted."

Even though his tone was casual Shuhei's eyes-which Ichigo could fall in love with over and over again-were regretful, apologetic and sincere.

"It's fine I know you had things to do-what did the insurance company tell y-?"

"Much as I hate to interrupt really I do its impolite to carry on a conversation when two ladies are standing in front of you-Ichigo stop being a jackass and hurry up and introduce us to this _**fine**_ specimen you managed to pick up."

That was Rukia to the T. Straightforward. Blunt. Uncensored and Shameless.

She looked to be about 3.5 seconds away from jumping the dark haired man and Ichigo might grow insanely jealous if he didn't know that his friend preferred jelly to peanuts.

Ichigo resisted the urge to roll his eyes "Shuhei the shameless pervert on the right is Rukia, the one on left is Inoue, she's the normal one as I'm sure you have already figured out."

A low chuckle "Pleasure to meet you both ladies," in true classic gentleman style Shuhei stepped forward and kissed each woman in turn on the hand-Ichigo kicked down the sudden urge to rip said hands out of their owners sockets and…

"Hey what's wrong?"

Ichigo shook his head. He was being an idiot. He had nothing to worry about. Shuhei might be talking to Inoue and Rukia but he was the only view the dark-haired male was looking at.

"Nothing I'm just cold I guess."

"Oh we'll have to do something about that then won't we?"

He felt his face grow warm but welcomed Shuhei's embrace.

()()

When the ballet finally started just as Ichigo had thought he was totally and completely lost…couldn't understand what the hell was going on. And every time he leaned over to get an explanation Rukia would shush him and then return her attention to the stage. Inoue was equally entranced if not more so….

He felt a hand on his knee and turned to find gray eyes watching him. And suddenly the fact that he was sitting in a room filled with overdressed, over powdered, over primped men and women (and the one or two unlucky children who had been forced to attend) didn't matter-the fact that Byakuya's over starched shirt was giving him the rash on his neck of the century didn't matter because Shuhei was here and Shuhei was with him and Shuhei….

He wanted to reach up and touch the other mans' face-caress the unique shape and lines of his brow, nose, chin, smear away the powder which was covering up the equally unique and uber delicious tats-he wanted to grab Shuhei by his high collar and-

"_I'm really glad you came."_ He mouthed since he really didn't feel like being lectured by Rukia again.

"I'm glad I came too." Shuhei mouthed back and then moved the hand away from his knee and into his upturned palm.

()()

Ichigo had never been a lucky guy. He supposed it had something to do with a past life…he mustn't have been a very good person and that was why good things always tended to turn sour…

The night had started out quite well-better than well…he felt happier and more at ease then he had in ages but then half way through dinner Shuhei started acting strangely.

It was as though he his body had separated from his mind-his mind seemed else where-it was clear that he was distracted by something or someone-what that could be Ichigo did not know but it made his stomach churn-he reached for his water glass eager to drink figuring perhaps he was just dehydrated or over excited or something but no…there was something more to it then that…Shuhei had put up a wall…this shield around him and then he started rubbing at his neck and scrunched his eyebrows together…now Ichigo was growing concerned.

No longer able to just sit there he mirrored Shuhei's earlier actions and placed his hands on the other mans' knee giving it a light squeeze "You keep touching your neck-are you in pain?"

And rather than responding in a normal manner Shuhei just snarled and distanced himself as far away from Ichigo as possible.

Feeling utterly confused and emotionally wounded the orange berry excused himself for a few minutes-half hoping/thinking that Shuhei would follow him but Shuhei didn't follow him and in fact when Ichigo returned to the table the other man was downing glass after glass of wine and laughing obnoxiously-flirting shamelessly with Inoue and Rukia-another minute and he'd probably be up Inoue's skirt or down Rukia's blouse-

Not iking this new side of Shuhei, Ichigo scrunched his nose up in distaste, bid Inoue and Rukia both good night and walked out the door.

()()

He was half way to the parking lot when arms caught him from behind.

"Ichigo don't leave."

Shuhei sounded plenty sober now and he didn't reek of alcohol rather he smelled like peppermint, fresh rain and something uniquely him. Ichigo wondered if perhaps he had dreamt up the entire scenario just now-if he really went off into some sort of daze and dreamed up the worst thing possible-like he was purposely looking for an excuse to push Shuhei away.

Half of him wanted to melt into the touch and let Shuhei carry him away-the other half-the half that was dominating Ichigo's emotions at the moment whirled around and knocked the older man flat on his ass.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Scrambling to his feet and pushing his wind blown feathered locks out of his face (he'd opted not to wear gel tonight) Shuhei reached for Ichigo and pleaded with him to-

"Please let me explain I know I acted like an ass back there and I'm not trying to make excuses but-

"Save it. Don't touch me. Don't talk to me. Don't even look at me."

"Ichigo you're not being fair."

Fair?

That's a laugh. What the hell did Shuhei know about what was fair?

Was the man secretly (or not so secretly) bi-polar or something?

Browns eyes flashed dangerously "Why are you here? What the hell do you want from me? Did you honestly think I was that fucking dumb and that I wouldn't figure it out-

Shuhei looked genuinely confused but Ichigo wasn't going to buy it. The guy was clearly a superb actor.

"Was this all a game to you? All that shit between you and Kira-that day-you've really been laughing in my face all this time haven't you-probably heard a rumor or two about-mphrf! NO! Get off me-

Ichigo wasn't weak by any stretch but he felt almost all the energy drain out of him and felt pathetic and powerless in Shuhei's strong hold. Perhaps he had underestimated the guy in more ways than one.

Ichigo didn't know what the hell to think anymore.

Try and try as he might he could not turn away from that stormy gaze…

"You're not being reasonable Ichigo. I know you might be feeling confused right now but one thing you can trust is that I would never lie to you.

_I would never lie to you_

_Never lie to you_

_Never lie to you_

_Never lie to you_

Like a mantra it repeated over and over in his head…

()()

"Sweet fuck Shiro I look like a damn kitten in comparison to you. What the hell was it that pissed you off bad enough to practically strangle the guy?"

Normally Grimmjow wouldn't try and talk (lecture) to Shiro while he was eating but he felt his fellow companion went overboard this time.

Sure Shuhei was too cocky for his own damn good but he also knew when to kneel…he was the perfect balance to their berry brat.

Swallowing a mouthful of banana bread the golden eyed angel gave his answer "I had to make sure Grimm-I need to know that he wasn't goin' turn his back on King-yeah I went a lil' outta control this time but it was necessary and ya know it so don't come lecturin' me bout it now."

Grimmjow let out a sigh knowing there was no point in trying to argue with his powdered companion. He grabbed a box of cocoa pebbles and poured himself a bowl.

"So what's the next step?"

()()

The way Shuhei was kissing Ichigo now was so different from all of the other kisses they had shared up until this point. It was the kind of kiss that left a permanent mark-a stamp-a seal-a claim-such bruising force he'd probably wake up with an aching jaw tomorrow.

Or even later on that night when he was brushing his teeth.

"I don't know how to make it any clearer to you Ichigo. You're the only one that I want."

()()

_Shuhei wasn't trying to be an ass. That had never been his intention. He had been ecstatic that he was going to see Ichigo again but the lashing he received from the orange berrys' golden eyed guardian made Shuhei think twice before acting._

_And he was determined to give Ichigo as much space and time as was needed. He did not want to crowd or suffocate the younger male. He vowed to himself that he was going to be on his best behavior. Vowed that he would keep his hands to himself_

And he had failed spectacularly-first touching and then snapping at Ichigo-of course he only snapped because his neck began to throb half way through dinner (a reminder that the angel was not far and he did not make empty threats)

Shuhei felt irritated, cranky-hated kowtowing to angel of all fucking things so he reached for the nearest escape-wine-a lot of wine but he wasn't a lightweight it took him a good 7-8 bottles before he even felt so much as a buzz-but his dinner companions and Ichigo didn't know that and he wasn't going to clue them in-didn't see the point-now of course he realized the errors of his ways.

Shuhei realized he just should have been honest with Ichigo from the start and told the other man everything so they could move on to the fun…

He hadn't counted on Ichigo lashing out (irked or confused yes but full out exploding-no)

Not that he blamed the berry because yes he had acted like an ass in more ways than one.

And even though Shuhei wasn't new to the concept of relationships he was sort of new to focusing his attention on one person and one person alone.

Honestly he sort of thought Ichigo would be happy to see that he was getting along with his female companions so well…but apparently he had been wrong about that too.

Shuhei would never claim to be perfect but he could be better-vowed to be better.

He would show Ichigo that not all relationships ended bitterly-he would show his berry happy endings did not just exist in fairy tales.

They still had a long way to go…everlasting romance didn't happen over night-one step at a time-

()()

The time for drama had passed…at least for this night

"Where's your car?"

"My car?'

"Yes your car, where is it?"

Shuhei furrowed his brow wondering if he had missed something in the past 5 minutes while he'd been playing the last few hours of tonight in his head-

Ichigo was playing with the buttons on his jacket as he repeated in a breathy whisper "Where is your car?"

"Why do you want to go to my car Ichigo? Do you need a ride home?"

"Maybe," cinnamon and coffee browns sparkled-Ichigo had become Shuhei's playful berry once more "That's one reason but its not the only one." A smirk dancing on his lips Ichigo made his intentions clear as he cupped Shuhei through his trousers-this time his tone carried a slight whine "Come ooooooon tell me where is you car?"

It was a different side to his berry but no less desirable then all other ones he had seen.

()()

There was a major difference between being pressured into doing something and doing it because he wanted to do it.

In fact it made it that much sweeter-not that Ichigo had ever quite mastered the art of giving blow jobs-often more than not the cum would wind up on his chin then down his throat but…he'd never had any complaints.

And more importantly watching Shuhei come undone made it all worth it.

Licking his lips as well as his hand and not feeling even the tiniest bit of shame as he did so Ichigo sat up with a satisfied grin.

()()

Shuhei would have loved to continue really he would have but he made a vow and would not break it. Even if he wanted to and boy did he ever want to.

Tucking himself back in his pants and zipping them up he reached into the dashboard compartment for something to take his mind off the hot berry sitting in the passenger seat-ignored the sound of another zipper-ignored the slight hissing and moaning sounds the other male was making-ignored the slight squeaky and wet noises as bare flesh met leather interior.

Shuhei didn't have to look over to know that Ichigo was jerking off among other things.

()()

"You're really not going to sleep with me."

Shuhei refused to break at the sight of his berry pouting-sexy a pout as it was… "We can lie down together in the same bed but I'm not having sex with you."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because neither your nor I have the energy for such activities tonight."

Not quite the truth but it was better this way.

"Liar."

"I'm not lying, Ichigo."

"Yes you are. You've been doing it all night trying to get me all hot and bothered with the perfect gentleman act and guess what it worked and now I want sex so GIVE ME SEX!"

Shuhei slapped away the hands that reached for his belt buckle.

"We'll have sex another night but tonight let's just cuddle."

Orange brows furrowed and Ichigo pouted again "Cuddle?"

Shuhei put down the tv remote and gathered his berry in his arms "Yes cuddle and if you're good I'll make you-

()()

DEC 23rd

"Smores?"

"Yeah, it was nice."

Renji finished off the last of his waffle crisp and wiped his lips roughly with a napkin "So you opted for smores instead of sex?"

"Well we both really like dessert so it was a fun night."

Reddish brown eyes rolled and the tattooed male reached for his glass of orange juice, quickly downing it like a tequila shot and then letting out a loud belch.

Ichigo scrunched his nose in distaste-sometimes having a difficult time believing his friend was as gay as him when he had such terrible eating habits and no table manners to speak of.

"Whatever floats your boat man-anyway Szayel doesn't get off until 4pm so we can just hang around the house for awhile and-

"What about Rukia and-

"She and Hime said they'd meet us there."

"What about Chado and Ishida."

"Oh uh," Renji scratched his hairless chin in thought "I'm not sure but anyway you gonna eat your bagel or-?

"Go ahead," Ichigo pushed his plate over to the redhead "Help yourself."

Truthfully he wasn't even that hungry since he and Shuhei pigged out on chocolate, marshmallows and graham crackers til 2 in the morning-he only agreed to meet Renji for breakfast because it had been awhile since they hung out.

The redhead lathered the bagel with hot pepper and chive cream cheese and asked "So where is Shuhei?"

"He had to take care of a few things but he'll definitely show up for the carnival."

()()

The winter carnival…

Ichigo wasn't sure what he had been expecting. Happy smiling families, screeching toddlers, pregnant mothers stuffing their faces with bon bons, teenage boys looking to impress their girlfriends by winning large plush toys, costume jewelry or whatever else they offered at places like this.

Once they paid the fair and walked through the entrance gates Renji abandoned any attempts at acting like an adult and began to bounce on the balls of his feet in excitement clinging closely to his pink-haired lover.

And then without warning Renji jumped up on Szayels back-it was a wonder Szayel didn't fall over since Renji had a greater muscle mass but Szayel seemed entirely at ease.

"If you don't mind Ichigo-san Ren and I are going to run ahead. I mean you're certainly welcome to join us in a little bit if you like?"

Ichigo shook his head wishing to have no part in acting like an idiot.

"I'll probably just go buy myself a snow cone and sit for awhile since I've never really been a fan of roller coasters."

"Ichigo what the hell are you talking about? Carnivals aren't meant to look at-you're supposed to enjoy yourself- the redhead was making the already strange piggy-back ride look even stranger as he started bouncing up and down "Come on, let's go, let's go!"

Szayel laughed and spoke to Renji as though the man were a child "In a minute Ren I just want to tell Ichigo where he can find u-

"He's a smart guy, he'll figure it out." Renji grinned widely and continued bouncing on the other man impatiently.

Ichigo snorted "Your as bad as goat face. Get off before you break Szayel's back or something."

The redhead stuck his tongue out "You're just jealous because Shuhei would never let you cling all over him in public."

Ichigo rolled his eyes "Sure, fine whatever I'm jealous."

Renji frowned as if recalling something "Hey Ichigo?"

"What?"

"I'm only joking you know. I'm sure Shuhei would love pick you up and spin you around-what guy wouldn't?"

"Uh thanks Renji, I think."

The redhead laughed and slapped his lovers' shoulders as though he was a cowboy commanding a horse "Talk time over everything will be fine-now let's go!"

Szayel looked highly amused with Renji's antics and child like behavior.

"Yes, yes okay we're going."

And the two were off and Ichigo felt as though he had stumbled into some sort of strange universe.

()()

Cone in hand Ichigo sat down on one of the benches and enjoyed his sugary teat. Then he looked up when he heard the familiar

"Kurosaki-kun/Ichigo! Over here!"

Inoue and Rukia had arrived or no based on the large dragon wearing a Santa hat that the brunette was carrying in her arms the duo had been enjoying themselves at the carnival for awhile. Both women were grinning and waving at him before Rukia pulled her girlfriend into the Gingerbread house and away from view.

()()

"Oi Ichigo-sensei up here!"

"Hi Ichigo-sensei!"

"Ichigo-sensei you should come up here and join us!"

"Sensei did you get our letter?"

"Sensei!"

"Sensei!"

"Ichigoooooo-senseiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

Curse his rotten luck. What the hell were his students doing at the carnival-no that was stupid of course they were at the carnival they were young and carefree it was more like how had his students spotted him so easily when his trademark bright orange locks were currently covered up with a hat.

Perhaps he could just pretend that he didn't hear them.

"Hey sensei my sister swears she saw you the other day making out with coach-Hisagi on a hill in the park-she was probably lying and just saying it for attention but if it is true can I have a picture?"

"Ichigo-sensei, Ichigo-senseiiiii!"

Ichigo felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind followed by a low husky voice, which he was growing quite fond of by his ear "Aren't you going to answer your precious students _Ichigo-sensei?"_

Ichigo wanted to fully embrace the hold-honestly he did but there were too many people around and his students were watching.

"Idiot," the orange berry growled in a low voice "_Let go_!"

Shuhei ignored it and only held him tighter before whispering "Not until you turn around and greet your adorable students. They've come all this way it would be cruel to ignore them."

"Hey, sensei-"

Ichigo cringed and face flushed at the same time-there was no way he could mistake that guttural rasp-

"If your boyfriend isn't keeping you warm enough I'll be _more _than happy to take his place."

THE FUCK? 

Really there was no way Kenpachi was really a teenager-he was probably a 20 something year old man who had been held back many years or a secret agent spy posing as a highschool student.

Ichigo shook his head banishing all thoughts. Not caring in the least.

"_Do you mean to tell me that I have to compete for your affections against that punk Zaraki?"_

Shuhei vs Kenpachi?

Ichigo didn't want to say it out loud knowing that it would bruise Shuhei's ego but he probably wouldn't stand a chance in hell against the wild haired teen who was rumored to come from a family of Yakuzas.

"Sensei you haven't become mute have you?"

"Ichigo-sensei?"

"Enough you guys! I think we're embarrassing sensei right so let's just leave him alone."

"But Ju-kun we haven't seen Ichigo-sensei in days and-

"Yeah we just want to tell him how much we miss him or well in Ken-chan's case let him feel how much he's been missed."

"You hentai! Don't say shit like that!"

"_Hear that Ichigo I really think it would be best for everyone if you say hello."_

Ichigo let out a resigned sigh. "Fine I'll say hello."

Shuhei released his hold but didn't go far.

A hand patted Ichigo's ass and he went red and socked his lover in the face "YOU BASTARD!"

Laughter, woof whistles and catcalls rang out in the winter air…almost drowning out the excited screams of the men, women and children on roller coasters.

"Ooooh nice one sensei!"

"GO ICHIGO-SENSEI!"

Ichigo quickly stomped down his blush and set his scowl firmly in place before turning around. He looked up to find his students and two other high school boys he didn't recognize riding on the Ferris wheel. "Happy holidays everyone, staying out of trouble I hope?"

Beaming grins and award winning smiles-a chorus of "Of course Ichigo-sensei we promise we've been on our best behavior."

()()

"Ichigo what the hell is the matter with you? Why did you just hit Shuhei?" Rukia scolded even as a smirk made its way on to her lips.

Ichigo shot a glare at Shuhei-narrowing his eyes at the scene of Inoue tending to the mans' wounds.

He felt his blood boil as a surge of jealously came over him,

"Having regrets Ichigo?" Rukia's voice was half teasing/half pitying

"No I'm not having regrets. He shouldn't have touched my ass in front of my students."

Rukia howled with laughter and then nudged the orange berry "Maybe Shuhei should be taught a lesson then hmm?"

Ichigo cocked his head to the side-mildly curious "Go on."

()()

"You enlisted help from her?"

Grimmjow did not bother to mask his clear distaste as he and his powdered companion followed the brat and the raven-haired woman at a close distance.

"Kira-chan refused to get out of bed so I had ta run with option B and actually its better this way cause unlike our bunny boy Ruki is totally on board." Shiro explained with glittery golden eyes.

"The hell?" Grimmjow's tail twitched violently in the wind "That's changing the whole fucking game-who the hell said you could-

()()

The thing about Ichigo-he could hardly ever say no to a woman and he usually wound up regretting agreeing to what said woman wanted him to do in the end.

Rukia was no exception-in fact she was worse.

His raven-haired friend had decided to give him a bit of a helping hand or so she had said but how….

"What the hell Rukia its pitch black in here and I can't see a thing."

"The lights will come on in a minute Ichigo so don't worry so much. Just follow the sound of my voice and watch your step."

The hell was Rukia doing anyway? Dragging him inside some sort of underground winter land maze from hell or something? How would this teach Shuhei a lesson?

"I thought you mentioned something about getting on a boat."

()()

Shuhei wasn't a rude man but he was beginning to grow a bit impatient. Inoue had refused to tell him where her raven had run off to with his orange berry and instead dragged Shuhei all around the carnival pulling him from one gaming booth to the next after she dropped a fist full of coins into his hands and said "Here Hisagi-kun take these and try to hit the red ball-that's Rudolph's nose-if you win you get a prize…

3 and half hours later…

Shuhei now carried what was quite arguably the worlds ugliest plush toy in existence in his arms. Inoue squealed in delight and insisted that Ichigo would totally and completely fall in love with it.

He didn't know if the princess was just saying it to distract him or if there was a slight chance that his orange berry was even fond of plushies but the more he thought about the more Shuhei decided that he should try and win something unforgettable and present that to Ichigo instead of this uber ugly ass elf with crazy eyes, buck teeth and cheesy green and red bow tie.

As though the heavens or a higher power heard his call/wish a humongous white teddy bear with a Santa hat, a white beard and black boots came into his line of vision-held by a man who was smiling down at a girl who looked to be about 7 years of age. A father and daughter pair. The two were chatting animatedly as they walked hand in hand through the carnival with the plush that was calling Shuhei's name. He just had to get it for Ichigo.

Without thinking things though-now a man on a mission-Shuhei ran towards the pair (ignoring Inoue's questions/calls) and asked the father and daughter where he could find the Santa Plush.

()()

That was the last time he ever followed his raven-haired friend anywhere.

He had known it all along. Rukia was pure evil. Why else would she have left him like this?

Ichigo's feet were starting to cramp up and the pole was digging into his spin. At first he thought he'd be able to get himself free-all it required a little bit of effort and a whole lot of grunting-he would slip his hand out from under the rope and loosen it the rest of the way with his teeth.

Sadly for him his action proved to be useless. He let out a curse and stomped the balls of his feet against the boards of the boat hoping to make a hole or something into the one loose one that was slightly sticking up.

Surely one of the employees would see he was in trouble or notice that one of their "rides" was down…what the fuck was a winter lagoon anyway? The whole thing was stupid!

'_Damn it if only I hadn't gotten so mad I wouldn't be in this mess and Shuhei wo-_

"Need a hand brat?"

Appearing out of the blue much like always Grimmjow perched on one the man-made fishers net of the boat and grinned down at his favorite human.

Ichigo narrowed his eyes and barked "Yeah I do so hurry the hell up and untie me!"

Another grin and the blue-haired angel leapt downwards and stopped a inch or two away from the orange haired male "Mind tellin' me how this happened, brat?"

Of course Grimmjow knew since Shiro had filled him in on every last detail but he wasn't going to tell the human this.

Ichigo struggled to stand and then took a few minutes to explain what happened.

()()

If Grimm was gonna go behind his back and play the fuckin' hero then Shiro decided he was going to rewrite the script again. Merman scenario tossed into the trash-Crimson roller coaster now in session.

()()

It was turning into a strange night. Shortly after Shuhei had emptied half is wallet in order to win Ichigo the Santa bear plush Inoue went off to grab them some peppermint powdered funnel cake but never returned.

Figuring the brunette had simply run into a friend or something he decided to try and hunt down his orange berry.

The carnival was big but it wasn't huge so Ichigo and Rukia couldn't have gone that far.

()()

"So what you're saying is-

"Shuhei left."

"So its just as I thought." Ichigo curled his hand into fist "I fucked up and now he's mad at me-damn it!"

Well sitting around chatting with Grimmjow wasn't going to help any thing.

"Thanks for the heads up."

"Yeah sure."

Grimmjow felt a little bit guilty for lying but it was better for everyone this way.

()()

A familiar head of short glossy black hair caught his eye-it was Rukia which meant Ichigo was definitely close by. Shuhei quickened his pace and failed to notice that a certain bino-angel was closing in on him-right when he was about to pat Rukia's shoulder his world went black!

()()

"Comfy?"

Dark lashes fluttered open and it took a moment or two for things to come into focus. Took a few more minutes for Shuhei to figure out what had happened. He'd been knocked out (drugged possibly) and woke up to find that he was suspended high up in the air strapped down in a roller coaster seat and his shoes were missing.

Rather than panicking Shuhei looked for the owner of the voice not entirely too surprised to see Shiro grinning. He raised a brow "So mind tell me what's going on?"

"Ya know I really did have high hopes for ya Shu," the angel began as he pulled on a set of fingerless gloves "Ya were gonna be the perfect reindeer-

HUH?

What the hell was the angel talking about this time?

Shuhei caught a glimpse of something shining in the corner of his eye-unease crept over him-

"Not many know this 'cept me o' course but Ichi's always kinda been a fan of the good ole' drama-specially durin' the winter hols'-always been a secret dream of his to act out one of his own," gold eyes flashed and the metal instrument came into full view-

Shuhei's gray eyes widened with horror!

()()

Ichigo ignored as the biting wind chill hit his face and crossed the road.

If Shuhei had left his car in the lot maybe instead of leaving he just went to blow off some steam and decided to walk the bike trail, which was right across from the carnival.

()()

Last time Shiro had practically strangled him in his own damn kitchen this time…

Shuhei didn't fear death exactly but he hadn't even reached 30 years of age and…

()()

Ichigo realized he probably looked and sounded like an idiot shouting out Shuhei's name in the dark of night panicking when he didn't receive a response.

It wasn't like it was deep in the woods…it was a freakin bike trail surrounded by a lot of trees-this wasn't some damn movie where some evil demon or creature would jump out an attack him…hell there weren't even bears or wolves in this area-too noisy-too much traffic.

Shuhei was probably laughing right now-the thought irked Ichigo but in a way he knew he kind of deserved it. After all he had gone over board.

'_Since when have I become so overdramatic?'_

()()

Shiro was growing bored and absolutely detested being bored. What the hell was taking Ichi so damn long? He was sure his favorite scowling orange-headed human would have stormed through the amusement park like blazing fireball and demanded to have Shu back.

'_Damn Grimm can't even get that much right. I was sure he woulda told King what I did so…'_

So much for holiday excitement-Shiro gnashed his teeth together and decided to give the duo a few more minutes.

For now it was back to role-playing…

"It's really very simple Shu-see this blade,"-he held it directly in front of the humans' face Ya are going to take it and place it right at ya throat-the slice straight across." And cue mad cackle.

"You are insane."

More cackling "Been that way since I ripped my way outta my Kaa-chan's coochie but I say bein' sane is overrated anyway-

"You're not angelic at all."

"Hmm perhaps not but I got my good points too."

()()

As Shuhei continued to sit there and listen to the angel babble bullshit he tried to think of a way to distract Shiro and disarm the blade from the powdered bastard but it was proving to be easier said then done.

"I thought you wanted to make Ichigo happy. Isn't that what you guys preached to me over and over since this whole thing first started."

Shiro cocked his head to the side and Shuhei willed himself not to flinch when the cold metal-slid but did not slice against his jawline.

"Did I say somethin' like that? Ah well don't really matter since ya time is up bubble boy-

"SHIROOOOOOOO!" 

The angels' powdered white brows twitched and a wide grin split across his face.

"Just in time."

Shuhei, still feeling confused as all hell couldn't even form proper words when the blade was lowered and he was free to move although he couldn't go far even if he wanted to because with out warning he was hoisted high in the sky compliments of the powdered angel who was still cackling madly.

Down below he could see the Grimmjow and Ichigo running towards them …

This night was just growing weirder and weirder as the angels' speed increased and the sky blurred and then …

"Ready to see your tree Shu?"

The fuck?

Blinding bright light.

()()

Ichigo was pissed. He wanted to know what the fuck was going and why? It was clear to him now that his angel had left out half of the story/explanation/whatever.

"Grimmjow what the hell was that? Where the hell did Shiro take Shuhei to now? And more importantly why-what exactly are you guys trying to prove by doing this anyway-no more half ass answers exactly what is your aim or goal or whatever and what does it have to do with me?"

"Chill out and eat your sundae brat, Shiro is just having a bit of fun."

Ichigo felt like punching something and if Grimmjow didn't stop with his nonchalant bullshit it might just be him.

"I'm not going to chill out until you tell me why you and Shiro keep meddling into my love life?"

()()

So this was it. The fabled hybrid tree that he had heard about when he was a young boy. The tree with magical and mystical properties promising a long and prosperous life filled with love and happiness.

He almost did not wish to touch the mistletoe or the holly leaves worried that he might ruin the delicate petals.

And it was now in his living room. "How did-?"

"Heh, Kira-chan was all too anxious to lend a helping hand. It took a good 6 hours or more but he managed to assist us in moving it here."

Kira? Kira did all of this?

"Don't go jumpin' to dumb conclusions again now bubbleboy-Alice just can't stand to see others unhappy." The angel lied smoothly but of course the human didn't catch on. "Now all ya need is someone to share it with."

Shiro grinned reading the humans' mind.

"Told ya before didn't I we'll grant ya a wish or two-all ya gotta do is ask nicely."

()()

"Give it up Ichigo their long gone by now. You should just call it a night and try tomorrow."

The berry ignored the angels' words and decided that if Grimmjow wasn't going to help him he was going to gather up all of his friends and they would search for Shuhei and Shiro as a group.

Again Ichigo knew he was probably being a little overdramatic and unreasonable since it was clear the bino had no real intention of harming Shuhei-no he just wanted to be an asshole because he enjoyed pissing Ichigo off-enjoyed testing his patience-enjoyed redefining the term "angelic" over and over and why?

Because it entertained him.

"'_**Life ain't worth livin' if ya don't have fun**_.' So knowing it would be a waste of my breath I just went ahead with what Shiro said but fact is we'll both probably get scolded for his stupidity-guess that's just the way things go some times."

Grimmjow didn't sound the least bit apologetic not that Ichigo was surprised since it was only on a rare occasion when a being of a higher power apologized to a human like himself.

Still…

"You honestly don't know where he took him to?"

Grimmjow shook his head. "Not a clue brat but I'm sure you'll find out in the morning."

Ichigo scowled but decided to leave it be for the moment. All this running around had tiered him out and now all he wanted was a good nights rest-it would be a lot better if it was spent in Shuhei's arms but…that wasn't an option available to him at the moment.

He looked towards his angel and considered asking Grimmjow to be his personal pillow for the night.

The angels' grin was anything but pure.

"Sure brat you can use me as a pillow."

Brown eyes narrowed "Don't even think of this as some sort of backwards invitation to maul me in my sleep."

The angel crossed his hand over his heart "I swear I will not overstep my bounds, brat."

'_**At least I'll try not to anyway**_.' Grimmjow added inwardly.

()()

CHRISTMAS MORNING

"You sure this is gonna work?"

"At this point what's the worst that can happen 'sides Ichi beatin' us black and blue and Yama-ji exiling us that is?"

Grimmjow let out a snort expecting no less from his powdered companion.

"Right. So on the count of 3?"

"One, two, THREE!"

Together the two angels lifted the sleeping human out of his bed and out into the hallway, down the stairs and out the door before loading their breathing luggage into the ice cream truck-Shiro felt it would be less conspicuous than a funeral hearse.

"You know we could have saved a lot of time if you had thought of this sooner."

"True but then we wouldn't have any new tales to tell at the holiday shindig an-

"What do you care what the members of the Hybrid courts think-

"I don't not really but things have seen so damn borin' since Nnoi up and left and someone has to bring the kingdom back to life-might as well be me."

"Heh, So where's Shu-boy anyway?"

"Shu? Ah he's up on the rooftops of his house."

A snort. "Doing what?"

"Buildin' some new thing-a-ma-gig or another for King," a shrug "Don't know don't really care-just wanted him distracted while we get everythin' set up."

()()

The only other time in his life Ichigo could recall waking up to find himself tightly bound in ribbons was during Inoue's 16th birthday party.

It had been (as always) Rukia's idea to help him come out of his antisocial shell-she said something along the lines of how he was being unfair to his classmates by constantly covering his body with clothes all the time.

'_If Renji and the guys can go around with their shirts off half the time then you should show some skin too, Ichigo!'_

_Ichigo had been embarrassed and while not emotionally scarred for life he had been scarred for a good long time. Even back then he wasn't by any means scrawny but he just didn't feel right being on display in front of his peers. And he certainly had appreciated the way the cheerleading squad looked like they would gobble him up at any minute._

So waking up to find that he was bound tightly in shiny red and green ribbons wasn't exactly something he was happy to discover…course there was (as always) a plus side…his very own Santa-Shu was the second thing to come into view.

Although the other man looked just as baffled as Ichigo felt. "Hey?"

"Hey uh-

"Listen about what hap/I'm sor-

"Wait what?"

Shuhei shook his head "This isn't going to work. If we're going to talk at the same time nothing will be heard."

"Right so you go first."

"No you."

"Uh okay so I don't really know what Shiro and Grimmjow have been telling you during these past few days but you don't have to prove anything to me. And even though I'm still unsure on some things I want to give us a chance."

"It makes me really happy to hear you say that Ichigo because the last thing I want to do is hold you in captivity or make you feel like a prisoner-though I'm not gonna lie I'm not so sure I could just let you go if you said you didn't want to be with me."

Ichigo felt both flattered and irritated by these words. "Well I'm not going anywhere. For one thing its quite impossible for me to even move my big toe let around walk out the door and secondly you still have to make up for last time."

"What are you suggesting?" Shuhei asked sounding slightly baffled.

Ichigo didn't take 3 years of gymnastics for nothing-even though it was not easy by any stretch-bound limbs and all the berry managed to hook his wound legs underneath the other man-leaving Shuhei no place but to tumble forwards and on top of him.

Slight grunts and groans as well as a moderate amount of struggling Shuhei readjusted their positions so he wasn't resting all of his weight on Ichigo and then captured peach tinted lips in what was perhaps the sweetest and most tender of kisses he had ever given.

Breaking apart after or minute or so and grinning down at the younger man "I could be a cruel ass and leave you just like this but then I'd just be punishing both of us." His tone was playful and teasing as he reached for the first of many ribbons.

"True you could but then once I managed to get myself free I would be forced to come after you and then I guarantee you would be sorry." Ichigo promised as his cinnamon and coffee eyes flashed and smirk (which wasn't very friendly at all) played on his lips.

"Well we can't have that-after all now that I've got you under my tree it seems the only step left to take is unwrap and handle you with care."

"That's two steps genius-"A snort," And who the hell said I was made of porcelain or glass?"

"You're not. You're so much more than that." A light kiss touched his nose and Ichigo felt his face grow warm then stomped it down with a mocking laugh, "You're such a dork Shuhei!" His hands now free he poked the other man in the cheek.

Shuhei grabbed hold of the finger that was poking him and brought it to his lips and murmured, "Yes I'm a dork who's in love and in time you will be the same way, Ichigo."

"Oh is that a fact?"

"It's the truth-now hold still this particular one is a bit tricky."

"Mm hmm are you almost done because I wanna play and waaaa-!"

"You can play at any time you've been unbound for a good 10 minutes Ichigo I was only messing with you." Shuhei teased as he smacked his berry playfully loving the clueless expression on the other mans' face.

"Huh? What are you- Ichigo looked down, "Well what do you know you're right," orange brows furrowed together "I didn't even feel it."

Shuhei began peppering Ichigo's face, neck and shoulders with kisses while his hands traveled down and in between the orange berrys' thighs-knowing how much it drove Ichigo crazy "Do you feel me now?"

"Hmm maybe a little."

Oh so Ichigo wanted to play the role of the brat this morning did he?

Shuhei smirked and began to nip and suck the skin of his berrys' adam's apple and collar bone loving how Ichigo moaned and pulled him even closer but of course as Shuhei had quickly learned Ichigo liked to give as well as receive so not to be out done the berry slipped his hand inside Shuhei's loose fitting trousers and spoke in a voice that was higher than his usual tenor.

"Santa-Shu what did you bring for me this Christmas?"

"Why don't you consider exploring the inside of Santa's trousers and guess what he brought for you."

A pink tongue darted out as Ichigo licked his peach tinted lips "Santa-Shu wants me to guess? Hmm well okay-

And the "exploration" continued

"Santa-Shu I feel something but I'm not really sure what it is."

Shuhei bit on the inside of his cheek to hold back a groan and continued "Is it unpleasant?"

"No it's just kind of wet," Ichigo looked up at him with big brown eyes (it was quite the skill-looking that damn innocent-Shuhei had to bite back another groan) "Is my present leaking?"

Skilled hands wiped the pre-cum forming on the tip and Ichigo let out an excited giggle before pulling his hand out and showing "Santa" his findings "Is it supposed to leak this much Santa-Shu?"

"Sometimes."

"Sometimes just sometimes?" A slight smirk curled on Ichigo's lips as he brushed the sticky fluid on his lips before darting his tongue out to taste it.

Shuhei's eyes nearly rolled in the back of his head at the erotic image-he knew it was wrong in a way but-breathing a bit harshly but still managing to keep with the unwritten script he asked "What did you discover?"

Ichigo cocked his head to the side "Hmm, I'm not sure maybe I should continue exploring-what do you think Santa-Shu?"

Not waiting for a response the orange berry tugged the trousers down and out of the way and examined his present with his hands "This part feels really heavy and looks kind of swollen and this part-its kind of like an iron rod wrapped in a blanket- (blink blink) is it supposed to grow when I touch it Santa-Shu?" 

A groan that Shuhei couldn't fight off if he tried as more cum started to leak, "Maybe or maybe you just have the magic touch."

"Uh hmm so that's why you wear those big trousers Santa-Shu?"

"…"

And then both Shuhei and Ichigo gave up on their role playing and howled with laughter.

()()

"So is that a first for you or do you role play often during the holiday season?"

"It's a first-well it came out of nowhere actually," Ichigo answered honestly and let out a sigh and let his fingers dance lazily along Shuhei's rib cage "I don't really know why I felt like doing it all of a sudden, another sigh "I just feel really at ease and playful around you." He frowned and stilled his fingers and looked up at Shuhei "I know I'm really weird I don't know why you put up with a guy like m-

Fingers played with vibrant orange locks as gray eyes met brown "Never mind that. Are you having fun Ichigo?"

"Yeah."

A gentle smile, "Then that's all that matters."

Ichigo felt his face grow warm and threw a pillow at Shuhei in retaliation "I swear you are such a dork!"

Shuhei chuckled "And you'll learn to love it now get over here!"

Who ever said grown men were too old for pillow fights?

()()

"Don't even think you can get away with without properly feeding and nourishing my ass a second time."

A raised brow "You talk about it as though it has a mouth of its own."

"It does and it's hungry for your cock."

()()

Carrying on a conversation while Ichigo bounced in his lap and set the pace for their love making wasn't something that Shuhei was entirely used to or fond of.

"You know I never really understood why so many guys are convinced that being the receiver in the relationship is a bad thing-

He'd rather focus his attention on the way Ichigo was sucking him in-feel as Ichigo's anal walls stretched to accommodate his girth and length

"I mean if you ask me society has it backwards its the ukes that have all the power and the semes that are at our mercy-I mean think about it my body was built to receive and experience pleasure and just like a woman (although I usually hate comparing myself to one) I can come multiple times while you've only-no offense-have come what 2-3 times at best and that's not the only thing-

Anxious to coat Ichigo's burning walls with his liquid passion he switched the angle and position and increased the speed of his thrusting-

"Ukes set and control the pace of the love making-whether it is fast and hard or soft and slow we are the ones calling the sho-ahn ahh oh yes oh gaaaahhhh!"

It was almost amusing in a way though-never would Shuhei have expected his berry to be such a chatty Charlie in bed-didn't matter if he was near exploding-entering the great white abyss

"As much pride as you semes take in being able to hold us down-as much as you get off on watching us cower and squeal and whine and plead for you to go easy, be gentle, give us a moment or two-you're the ones who wind up bawling your eyes out and falling to your knees looking like little bitches when we refuse to give you another piece of our delicious asses-

Or coming down from his high and basking in the after glow Ichigo kept going and going…

Sure Shuhei could drag his berry into the shower and go for another round-he could also reach for a towel or blanket to clean and wipe off the dried up cum and sweat before pulling the fresh sheets over their bodies and settling in for a cat nap-since it was the freakin' holidays and who the hell slept all night-they'd be up again in a few hours-Shuhei would see to it-sure he could just ignore the fluids all together and pull Ichigo on to his chest-Shuhei could do many things.

But he was the kind of man who continued the love making after the love making…so while Ichigo went on with his ramble Shuhei put his tongue to use and licked every last bit of cum (dried and wet) off and inside of his berrys' body-

"Not that its your fault you can't help the way your body was designed ngh yeah right mmm there-I guess the whole point of this rambling session is this: I would be a fool to give up this position which is why I'll never do it."

()()

_**The image on the screen was put on pause and a certain powdered angel with golden eyes turned and addressed his audience **_

"And that ends my tale. Mission complete and all is well." A wide grin "Questions? Comments?"

Commander Yamamoto Genyrusai rubbed the sides of his temples as his long white-gold wings twitched with impatience "Shiro the mission was to play match maker-never at any time did I say you could abuse your powers, threaten one of the candidates or play the voyeur."

"What are ya tryin' ta say Yama-ji-that I don't get my golden halo?"

()()

THE END

YES A CRACK ENDING…BUT I'M PRETTY PLEASED WITH IT. NOW TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.

THANKS FOR READING

~SLY~


	14. GINGERBREAD BOY 1

**Disclaimer: Did you miss me? So there I was standing on the threshold of ever lasting truth when it came to me: I do not own BLEACH!**

**Authors Note: So I finally got around to writing about Byakuya…bout freakin' time…sorry, sorry but in my defense the Kuchiki noble isn't exactly easy to write so…anyway expect the usual crack-weirdness and enjoy!**

Dedicated to all Kuchiki lovers! HAPPY NEW YEARS TO YOU ALL! ….better late then never

Warnings: AU, OOC-ness, language, spelling, grammar, punctuation, run-ons, loose-crack-ish plot, sugar, cream, spice, ginger, frosting, sprinkles, chocolate, marshmallow, eggnog, "magic", switching views, holiday cheer and more….

Characters: Byakuya, Rukia, Ichigo, others

Summary: Every year Rukia gives Byakuya a present and every year Byakuya sends the present back declaring "I have no use for such things-I do not like clutter in my house"…this year Rukia is determined to give her beloved nii-sama something he can't refuse. But how exactly does a GINGERBREAD BOY tie into all of this?

**#7 **

**Kuchiki Byakuya x Kurosaki Ichigo** and Kuchiki Rukia in….

GINGERBREAD BOY

PART ONE

Every year Rukia gives her brother-in-law a gift for Christmas

(coffee maker, cell phone, china doll, pocket watch, chainsaw, crystal dove, wicker basket, harp, candle, quill, cheese grater, leather cuffs, electric razor)

And every year Byakuya sneers at the gift and throws it back in the young woman's face. Not literally of course because he is first and above all else a noble gentleman and such barbaric behavior is beneath him…but that does not stop him from

"This…he trails off and an elegant set of threaded brows furrow in confusion-

Byakuya couldn't even tell what the item Rukia had presented to him was so supposed to be…it was oddly shaped, fluffy and was leaking all over his specially imported moccasins.

"There is no need for such useless things in my house. I do not like clutter. I do not like disorganization. I do not like-

"Green eyes and ham?" Rukia quipped as she caught the adorable powdered puppy in her arms and pressed her nose against its wet one, cooing lovingly.

"Rukia!"

Rukia swallowed and the young raven set the puppy down and let it explore the inside of her yellow purse as she turned and faced her brother-well brother in law but she never cared about tiny details like that.

"Hai, Nii-sama?"

"Rukia please act your age. I do not have the time nor the patience for riddles and rhymes."

She was only joking-teasing-trying to get him to crack a smile but Byakuya was not laughing.

Rukia let out a sigh and let it drop all together. "Of course Nii-sama. I completely understand and I'm sorry for pestering you," she straightened her posture and bowed "Please excuse me." And left.

But she did not venture far as she led Byakuya to believe.

Instead Rukia turned at the corner on the street and walked up the little cobble stone steps leading into the village square.

She was meeting a few friends for coffee all in the hopes that they would help her come up with a new present for Byakuya.

A present that the man could not refuse.

()()

Meanwhile Byakuya, completely unaware of what his dearest sister-in-law was planning, went about the process of moving the plants/flowers from the outdoors and into the not-so-little 2 story green house. It was a tiresome task but needed to be done.

Byakuya was very proud of his garden and wished to show off its radiant colors and beauty when spring returned.

A soft serene smile graced his normally regal yet stoic looking face as he moved about from room to room tending to his treasures.

Perhaps if Rukia took the time to pay attention to his interests Byakuya wouldn't have to reject her gifts year after year-wouldn't have to watch as the young woman wiped tears from the corner of her eyes.

()()

Byakuya sat down on the singular chair located inside the green house and watched as fresh white snow blanketed the ground and trees outside.

The man let out a sigh 'It's been exactly one year since her disappearance.'

Her meaning the love of his life, Hisana. In many ways Hisana and Rukia looked very much a like.

So much so that sometimes it hurt to look at the younger woman. For just a split second Byakuya would lose him self in the painful yet beautiful illusion that his wife was still very much in his presence. Byakuya would trick himself into thinking that his wife wasn't really gone. Had never left.

And the bitter disappointment that washed over the man when reality set in-nothing could compare-it was torture-torture in the highest degree.

Rukia had encouraged Byakuya to move on and find someone new to love but Byakuya was a stubborn man and did not wish for another.

He wanted Hisana and only Hisana. And vowed that even if there should ever come a time when he did open his heart to another it would not be the same. Byakuya refused to love that person (whoever he or she might be) wholly and completely.

He would not give all of himself to that person-only a fraction.

Cruel? Unfair? Yes but isn't that what life was all about?

()()

TO BE CONCLUDED


	15. GINGERBREAD BOY 2

Disclaimer: I was not born in the feudal era…I do not own BLEACH!

Dedicated to all Kuchiki LOVERS

**ByaxIchi, Rukia, others**

Warnings: AU, OOC-ness, switching views, spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc…

A/N Yes this is supposed to be the conclusion but its not because (as always my mind spins it elsewhere and the length increases…never the less I hope you find some joy in reading it…

GINGERBREAD BOY

**PART TWO**

(Byakuya and Rukia)

An afternoon out with the girls was usually a favored past time…today not so much

"You could always hire a stripper? What guy can resist free ass?"

A fork banged against an empty plate and a short, freckle-faced blonde shouted, "Oi waiter, more food!"

Rukia's left brow twitched. Her friends were supposed to be helping her but instead of doing so the group was being crude and obscene-or it would be more accurate to say that one (Sarugaki Hiyori) was being crude and obscene and the other three (Nel Tu, Yadomaru Risa, Kurotsuchi Nemu, were giggling quite unhelpfully into their tea cups.

"Hmm I wonder," Nemu lifted a spoonful of yogurt up to her mouth, "do you think he would really go for something like that, I've always pegged Byakuya to be a bit well…prudish."

Risa wiped the smudge on her oval shaped lenses and smirked, "Oh that's just an act. Everyone knows the uptight ones are really wolves in sheep clothing."

"The only question remaining then is where would we find such a girl on short notice?" Nel asked in between taking bites out of her croissant.

Hiyori wiped orange juice off her lips with the sleeve of her blouse and added, "Oh it shouldn't be that hard-it's the holidays, strippers are more than happy to work overtime ain't that right Risa?"

Aquamarine eyes twinkled, "Who said it had to be a girl?"

Rukia decided that she had heard quite enough. Her fist came down on top of the table with a hard slam. "Absolutely not! Have you forgotten who were talking about here?" silver blues rolled, "Of course you have! You're all too caught up in your own shit to actually help me out."

The quartet of young women jumped at the raven's outburst.

Silence fell over the room.

Rukia cleared her throat. "Thank you. Now then as previously stated this is a very stubborn and proud man we are talking about here. Byakuya-nii-sama would sooner impale himself on a bed of icicles then he would agree to inviting a stripper into his home."

Well then Rukia what do you propose we do for your dearest nii-sama hmm?"

Rukia released a sigh and dropped her head on the table. "I don't know. That's the problem."

"Why don't you take him to the winter palace? BankaiTimes is calling it the number one place to be during the holidays. They have an egg nog fountain and everything. Who can say no to egg nog?"

Rukia considered Nel's suggestion. Truthfully it wasn't a bad idea but her nii-sama was so…it was hard to surprise the man since he some how always managed to find out what she was doing before everything was set in motion.

Even if she managed to pull it off Byakuya hated overpriced arenas and stadiums. The man would probably be in a sour mood the entire time they were there.

"Well what do you think? Egg nog holiday or-

Rukia shook her head, "I love the idea Nel honestly I do but nii-sama would never agree to something like that.

The green-haired woman frowned.

Rukia released another sigh "Any other ideas? The 25th isn't too far away and I really want this to be something Byakuya-nii-sama can't and won't refuse."

"Heh, I still say you should go ahead with the strippers. Risa and I know a guy who had six of his ribs removed so he could swallow his own-

"The answer is no Hiyori now please learn to hold your tongue and let the adults chat."

The blonde (as if to prove Nemu's point) blew a raspberry and scarfed down the rest of her food.

"Don't fret Rukia I know you want to give Byakuya the perfect gift and it just so happens I might just know exactly where you can find it.

Nemu was grinning mischievously as though she knew something the raven and the other girls did not-it was rather strange and almost painfully out of character.

But Rukia was anxious to hear more.

()()

"For heaven sakes pull yourself together Bya-chin. It's been what almost a year since Hisa-chan walked out on you. It's time to get out there and start dating again. And take it from me when I say they only get cuter with each passing year."

Byakuya mentally chided himself for letting his fellow colleague (Kyoraku Shunsui) into his house, knowing full well that the man would only harp on him about his choice to remain single and celibate.

_'I should have never opened the door."_

Yes because if Byakuya had just continued sitting in his drawing room and sipping his tea he would not be having this conversation much less playing host right now.

_Not that it would have stopped Shunsui from bringing him good tidings and holiday cheer and whatever silly nonsensical words the man spouted when he appeared at the window with a box full of presents in hand. 'Bya-chiiiin, let me in."_

_A thin threaded brow twitched at the incessant tapping on the window. Byakuya set down his tea cup, fastened the front of his robe and went to answer the front door._

_Truthfully a wealthy man such as himself could have just as easily enlisted the help of a servant or 20 but Byakuya had no desire to become like his grandfather-dependent on others-_

_"To what do I owe this unexpected visit, Kyoraku?"_

_A man standing at a proud 6'3 with long wavy curls, droopy eyelids and a drunken swagger stepped over the threshold and into the mansion before the Kuchiki had fully stepped aside._

_Byakuya nearly fell over when a waft of sake washed over him. His nose wrinkled in distaste. Shunsui would never change._

_The brunet ignored the raven's obvious discomfort and began removing both his boots and his hat while balancing many boxes in his hands._

_Shunsui turned to address Byakyua, who was doing his absolute best not to grind his teeth._

_"Most of these are for Nanao and Risa-chan of course but that doesn't mean I forgot you."_

_There was a twinkle in deep brown eyes-a twinkle Byakuya did not like._

_Shunsui removed his gloves and reached for the first box sitting at the very top of the pile. "Ju was a little miffed at me when he found out this was meant for you instead of him but I managed to make him forget all about it, " here the man leered and wiggled his brows, "If you catch my drift."_

_Yes Byakuya did most definitely catch Shunsui's drift even with out all the leering and what not._

_Only a complete and utter imbecile would not know how to read between the lines. Byakuya just wished the other man had a bit more tact. For the Kuchiki noble had zero interest in hearing about his colleague's sex life-there were some better things better kept behind closed doors. Not that he himself hadn't had his fair shared of liaisons a time or two but-_

_Shunsui made himself right at home-propping his feet up on top of the coffee table as he took a seat on the couch. Byakuya managed to keep his lips tightly closed although it wasn't exactly an easy task._

"Come out with us tonight. I promise you'll have a good time."

There it was. The real reason for Shunsui's visit.

"A drunk man's promise, how reassuring." Byakuya deadpanned. Said drunk man patted the nobles back and laughed good heartily.

"That's the spirit!"

()()

After Risa, Hiyori and Nel's rather abrupt departure Rukia turned to Nemu with a raised brow…

"What was that all about?"

Nemu (once again acting completely out of character) shrugged "Who knows? Never mind them let me tell you more about the shoppe."

"Shoppe?"

Rukia wasn't absent-minded per se it was more like…

"The Gingerbread shoppe."

()()

The two friends gathered they're coats and made their way towards the exit door…once they reached outside of the café the conversation continued.

"Gingerbread? What's so special about gingerbread?"

"If I told you then there would be no point in going there."

Nemu was smart-always had been but Rukia wasn't sure slightly bitter/sweet goodness was the answer. Still being who she was the raven was willing to give just about anything a try.

Maybe something simplistic was exactly what Byakuya needed.

Rukia raised a brow, "So where is this place?"

"Rukia stop asking so many questions and just trust me on this okay?" Without waiting for a response Nemu turned her back to Rukia and hailed a cab.

"Taxi!"

()()

Brushing the pads of his fingers against the old canvas proudly hanging in the living room, remembering the smell of his lost love's oil paints, the serene smile gracing her lovely face as she created image after image with fine strokes of the brush. The sound of her soft humming echoing throughout the mansion lighting even the darkest of closed off corners.

Byakuya pulled his hand away from the portrait and released a sigh 'Where did I go wrong? What will it take for you to come back to me my love?'

A heavy hand settled on top of the nobleman's shoulder just then, slightly roughened intoxicated voice reaching his ears "Don't torture yourself with thoughts of the past when your entire future awaits you."

Byakuya scowled not liking in the least that this man, this "friend" dared to interrupt him during his private thoughts.

Glancing down at his watch Byakuya took note of the time and glared at the offensive hand still rested on his shoulder-none too gently Byakuya pushed Shunsui away from him. "If you have time to make unwanted drop-ins onto another person's home you should have more than enough time to get some work done at the office."

Straightening out his robe as well as one could straighten out an article of clothing he had slept in, Byakuya led his uninvited guest to the door.

()()

The inside of the shoppe was much larger then it had appeared on the outside.

"The floors and ceilings are made out of a special kind of chocolate and the table tops, counters and display cases are made from a special peppermint candy that can only be purchased on some hidden island off the coast of Europe." While Nemu gave her explanations Rukia could only stand there with her mouth gaping open in awe.

This was much more than just a shoppe with gingerbread. This was like the Sweet shoppes of sweet shoppes. Every kind of candy and cookie imaginable-some she couldn't even properly pronounce. But something baffled the petite raven how come she'd never seen or heard of this place?

"Nemu wh-

"This isn't even the good stuff though." There was that all knowing twinkle in Nemu's eyes again-a light air in her tone-"Kaname-san keeps the real masterpieces behind those double doors."

Even with out her friends prompting Rukia would have ventured towards the back because even when she had been a young girl she couldn't resist a door or gate or anything really with signs reading **'DO NOT ENTER' 'DO NOT OPEN' 'KEEP OUT'** …what's the worst that could happen in a shoppe like this?

Besides Rukia convinced herself that if the shop owner really didn't want people to venture around in closed off rooms and areas then he should have hired a security guard or something. In addition why bother making something glow if you didn't intend to attract attention?

While Nemu babbled on Rukia set off in search of finding out more about the source of the orange glowing light coming from the tiny slit in between the closed doors.

()()

Perhaps it was the result of watching one too many holiday horror movies as of late but Rukia could swear the Gingerbread boy behind the glass was glaring at her.

Unable to resist the raven reached out to touch the glass

"Please don't touch that it's still drying."

Rukia whirled around at the unexpected voice. From the corner of her eye she noticed that Nemu had turned a fine shade of pink and was fanning herself (when her friend had decided to join her in the backroom Rukia did not know.)

"I'm sorry I didn't mean t-

"Despite your stature you don't look like a child and so you should know better than to touch something that clearly does not belong to you."

The man's voice was smooth and rich in quality. His features were dark and prominent, reminding her regal prince from the sands of Egypt or the jungles of Africa…possibly a mixture of both. Dressed almost completely in white baring all but the scarf around his neck that was a bright orange color.

This must be the owner of the shoppe.

"Please forgive us for the intrusion Kaname-sama I only wished to show Rukia your collection. I told her not to venture back here but well you know what they say curiosity killed the raven-

Rukia's brows furrowed. What on earth was Nemu talking about? And what was with addressing the shoppe owner as Kaname-sama? None of it made any sense to her.

The man smiled at both young women "There is no need to be so formal. Simply calling me Kaname will do. Welcome to my palace of sugary wonders."

Rukia held her hand over her mouth trying to stifle the giggle that threatened to slip past her lips.

Nemu shot her an angry glare but the raven ignored it.

"Anyway I couldn't help but notice how lifelike this gingerbread boy looks."

"This is Ichigo, my finest creation to date." Kaname beamed with pride "Yes he is a very special ginger indeed."

Rukia didn't think it was possible for pale milky violet eyes to twinkle but apparently when it came to this 'Kaname' person such things were possible.

"Ichigo? Erm you give your cookies names?"

Rukia didn't want to be rude but there was something a little bit off about this man. I mean he knew that cookies were inanimate didn't he?

"Even with out a pulse everything deserves a proper name."

Well…okay she could see the logic in that sentence…sort of.

"Um before I get completely side tracked by this life like looking three foot tall cookie I would like to get to the real reason for my coming here today-well actually I was brought here b-

"Say no more." Kaname held his hand up silencing the petite raven 'Tis the holiday season and no one should be alone."

Uh…what was this man trying to get at exactly?

"I'm not shopping for myself," Rukia rushed to explain before this Kaname person jumped to the wrong conclusion "I'm actually here for my b-

"Your brother. Yes its written all over your face. The stress lines indicate that you have been unsuccessful in trying to please him yes?"

Rukia was going to ignore the comment about stress lines and the fact that the shoppe owner was apparently physic or something and just focus on her task at hand.

Getting Byakuya-nii-sama the most perfect gift.

"He doesn't care much for…well anything. Nii-sama is very difficult to shop for-damn near impossible to please or impress not that I'm looking to impress him but," Rukia blew a stray bang out of her face "Year after year he rejects my gifts but I'm determined to make this year different. I must make this year different!"

And for some reason-some unexplainable reason Rukia couldn't understand but she felt that Ichigo was exactly what her beloved nii-sama would need.

"How much for this one?"

The man looked thoughtful for a moment and then said, "Ichigo is not for sale."

Damn. Damn. Damn. Okay no need to panic or give up right away-surely she could convince this man to-

"Is what I would have told you had you walked into this shoppe yesterday, today however is a different story."

Rukia breathed a sigh of relief and Kaname chuckled lightly.

"Unfortunately he is much too heavy for you to carry out today but if you give me your address we will have Ichigo shipped directly to you."

"My address? But wouldn't it be better to ship it straight to the person I intend to give him to?"

"If that is what you prefer then we will have it shipped to the Kuchiki manor tonight. Now if you'll just sign on the dotted line…(where had the man pulled the yellow tinted contract from Rukia honestly couldn't say-perhaps he was a magician as well as a psychic?

Nemu nodded encouragingly. But Rukia had a feeling that even if her friend wasn't inodding n agreement she still would have gone ahead and signed the contract.

()()

Just when Byakuya had finally convinced Shunsui to leave the door bell rang once more.

Setting down his tea cup with more force then necessary the noble raven called out to his servants only to remember a moment later that he had given the staff the next few days off.

Feeling a bit foolish for calling out to an empty house Byakuya took his time to walk to the door.

This proved to be an unwise decision and only prompted the person on the outside to ring the door bell incessantly.

_If Byakuya had been a lesser man with a few screws loose in his brain he would have invited the moronic fool inside for something warm to eat and drink and as he reached for the knife in order to slice the French baguette bringing the blade down, the nobleman would "miss" his mark and cut off the mans' fingers-his voice utterly dead pan "How clumsy of me," Eyes glinting with maniacal glee Byakuya would bring the blade down a second time, "What I really meant to do was cut off the whole hand."_

Laughing at his wild and somewhat twisted imagination, which had been absent for quite some time Byakuya unlatched the multiple locks and opened the door.

()()

"Rukia we've been over this I do not want nor do I need junk in my house."

"Wait a minute Nii-sama don't make a decision just yet, at least open it first."

The young raven was practically pleading with him to open it and since Byakuya did not care much for whining he reluctantly agreed to accept the gift.

"Let's bring it into the kitchen."

"You'll open it in there?"

Rukia's expression was so lively and hopeful just then Byakuya almost felt bad about what he was going to say next.

"I will open it when I find the time. For now we will bring it into the kitchen for I can not have it blocking my fireplace."

Rukia frowned and then quickly covered it up with a smile "Lead the way Nii-sama."

()()

(Ichigo)

(Switch to first POV)

**1500 years and counting. Well in non-human years. Anyway trust me if anyone knows its bad manners to interrupt the middle of a story it's me but as my former sensei once said 'It is better to give an explanation rather than leave one guessing.'**

**So here goes…the name is Kurosaki Ichigo. Please no strawberry head jokes. Don't let this scowl fool I'm actually quite sensitive. Anyway rambling aside…you've heard of curses right?**

**Humans turning into werewolves during a full moon. Genies being trapped inside dusty oil lamps. The heart and soul of a boy or girl being trapped inside a wooden puppet or china doll.**

**No this is not a parody.**

**Nor is this a boring historical lecture.**

**This is me giving out examples so that you can understand who I am, where I'm from and what happened to me in order to get to this point.**

**Long story short.**

**I come from a floating island in the sky called Sugar Cane Paradise. Not to be confused with the lost city of Atlantis-in fact there is no comparison since one is made entirely out of sugar and the other is not.**

**In addition unlike the city of Atlantis which was known for housing thousands, possibly millions Sugar Cane Paradise only houses 200. So you can understand how one such as myself grew bored with the same timeless scenery day in and day out.**

**More to the point when one is surrounded by an entire world made completely out of sugar-tempted by its rich colors and unique textures and yet denied even the tiniest sample it is almost like torture.**

**NO scratch that it was like torture especially since everyone else in the older generation had been allowed to taste a sugar crystal at least once.**

**Not with out consequence mind you for each person who tasted forbidden sweetness had paid the price-their hands, face, sometimes their entire bodies had been broken and then turned into tiny sugar crystals and they were banished from paradise.**

**In my case I wasn't turned into sugar crystals but I was banished from Sugar Cane Paradise dropped from the air and cast out to sea and washed up on the coast of Japan. But my troubles didn't end there. Just beyond the horizon an Empress appeared-not just any Empress but the Empress of the Hour Glass.**

**She was nothing like the history texts had depicted…youthful in appearance with her sparkling powder blue eyes, ginger blonde hair, voluptuous curves-her personality was light, bubbly, carefree.**

**Course it could have been a glamour…she might truly be an ugly hag with multiple warts and rotting teeth. Not like it mattered. The only thing that mattered was her message to me…**

**"Everyone deserves a second chance but you will get 5. In order to gain entry back into the Sugar Cane Paradise you must complete a series of tasks."**

**The Empress handed me a small charm shaped a lot like the hourglass she was wearing around her neck. "Wear this it will mask your true appearance. Do not remove it unless you are absolutely certain you can trust the person (s) around you. 5 Christmas'-once 5 Christmas' have passed everything will come to a close."**

**I don't know what the Empress was talking about but I refused to wear anything until she gave me a proper explanation.**

**She quirked a brow "So you're a bit of a stubborn one are you?" Her tone was laced with good humor "Very well then I will tell you. The charm you now hold in your hand and will soon wear around you neck will turn you into gingerbread-you shall be known as the Gingerbread Boy. In this form you will be kept behind a glass case until the raven beauty appears.**

**But before any of this can happen you must take this (she handed me a second charm-this one shaped like a magnifying glass) "There is a man deep with in the city of Tokyo who has lived with out the gift of sight since birth-find this man and you shall restore his vision and he in return will keep your secret."**

**As you can imagine I was more than a little skeptical-part of me thought this might be some strange dream or a hallucination from swallowing to much sea water but…I couldn't afford to take that chance-couldn't miss up on perhaps the only opportunity to return to my friends and family.**

**"You're telling me if I complete these two tasks I can return home?"**

**"There is one more thing you must do in addition to the first two."**

**"What?"**

**Her powder blues twinkled with mischief but she did not give me an answer. The only hint I will give you is this: it involves the raven beauty. The rest you will figure out when the time approaches."**

**Figure it out?**

**Well wasn't that freaking peachy?**

**"Come now Strawberry-kun don't frown so much. Why ruin such a pretty face?"**

**()()**

**After that the Empress disappeared and I was left on my own to start my adventure.**

**And the rest is history. And now the 5th Christmas is right around and in my Gingerbread form I have to somehow draw the raven beauty's attention-assuming that he is the right raven that is-I think it's a bit shady that the Empress failed to mention only one raven beauty when there are in fact two with in my sight. Ah but wait the smaller of the two is walking out the door so it must be the male.**

**Hmm…I could tell this particular task was going to be a bit challenging. Doing a quick survey of my temporary new surroundings and the man himself I concluded that a noble like him would not be easily swayed and seduced by promises of a warm body to curl up to and a live in maid-especially the maid part since it already seemed like 'Byakuya' I think I heard the smaller of the two address him as-had an entire staff working under him.**

**Even if I did manage to pull this whole thing off-got the nobleman to fall for me I don't think Byakuya would think too highly of me if I just up and left and returned to my world with out explanation.**

**The older I became the more I matured and my Sugar Cane Paradise seemed further and further out of reach.**

**But there was no time to whine and cry over spilled nog as they say…bad to be stressed out when one wished to conceive a child.**

**No you did not read that last part incorrectly. Where I come from 1 out of every 25 men have the ability to conceive much in the same way a women would-its complicated and most have failed. Because well there is a slight difference in our general make up but why bore you will details-besides if I tried to explain how things worked in Sugar Cane Paradise you'd only become confused and lose track of the main story.**

**I pressed my hand against the box I was currently 'residing' in…hmm a bit more solid than the last one but a few well aimed punches and I was positive I could break it.**

**I bawled my fists (not an easy task while in gingerbread form) and made the first dent in the box-curled my fist a second time-hitting the exact same spot-on the third time I had no other choice but to halt-the sound of footsteps reached my highly sensitized ears.**

()()

Next time….

Resume to 3rd POV


	16. GINGERBREAD BOY 3

**Disclaimer: Do I know how BLEACH will end? No I do not because my name is SLY not Kubo-sensei. **

**AU, GRAMMAR, SPELLING, PUNCTUATION, OOC-ness, magic, etc**

REVIEW IF YOU LOVE BYAKUYA! Erm.. PLEASE?

()() ()() ()() ()()

Kuchiki Byakuya x Kurosaki Ichigo, others

GINGERBREAD BOY 

PART THREE

The not so tiny Gingerbread boy froze as the steps of the Kuchiki noble drew nearer and nearer-keeping perfectly still…well as still as a cookie could be.

The tiny slit at the top of the box allowed Ichigo to get another peek. Dark glossy medium length locks were carefully tucked behind each pale ear belonging to a noble aristocratic face. The man's skin appeared soft and was entirely void of facial hair.

This puzzled the Gingerbread boy. Back home in Sugar Cane Paradise there wasn't a single soul in the male population without some type of facial hair-baring Ichigo himself of course but then again he'd always been considered a bit of an oddity and was often ridiculed-sometimes ostracized for having a hairless face.

Not that he hadn't tried to grow a beard, mustache, side burns-for he had-even gone so far as to purchase illegal chemicals meant for hair growth-nothing had worked.

So Ichigo learned to live without it.

Was it possible the raven-haired stranger wasn't able to grow facial hair either? Did it matter? Not in least-it was just well…different.

The Gingerbread boy continued to watch the man with wide curious eyes, wondering what was going to happen next.

Earlier Byakuya had barely so much as spared Ichigo or his box a glance.

()()

Byakuya had a case of the midnight munchies. The Kuchiki noble did not know why such a strange thing was happening. This had never plagued him before.

Eating long after the dinner hour had passed-the very idea was preposterous and yet here he was in his night robe and imported moccasins tiptoeing around the mansion's kitchen in search of something to satiate his sudden hunger.

The cupboards, cabinets and refrigerators were sealed shut with paddled locks-Byakuya had insisted upon it. Just as he had insisted upon having the members of his kitchen follow a very strict diet. Meaning no boxed, bagged, canned or microwave products were allowed.

The noble raven didn't wish to call one of his servants just so the man could look at him as though he had suddenly gone mad for making such an odd request (well odd coming from the Kuchiki anyway) so he was left to fend for himself.

Byakuya spotted a basket full of fruit. Not exactly what he'd had in mind but it would do.

()()

The Gingerbread boy had to stifle the giggling that was threatening to slip past his lips. This particular raven beauty looked oh so very lost in his own kitchen. It was peculiar and highly amusing.

It was tempting to risk it all-break his glamour but no not yet…just a little bit longer.

()()

Byakuya bit into the first piece of fruit and scowled in distaste at the flavor a moment later. Tossing the unripened banana away from him and into the churning garbage disposal.

The next piece of fruit, a shiny apple-he would have preferred it to be red but beggars can't be choosers and Kuchiki's were never beggars.

By the gods who ever had brought this sour green thing into his home, dared to put it in his basket should be shot on sight! 'Twas a damn shame that that law had been abolished 100 plus years ago.

On to the next…

Shiny and red in color. All and all this third piece of fruit seemed like a good option.

()()

If such things were truly possible Ichigo would be dying from laughter by now. It seemed that this raven man, although beautiful also appeared to be at a complete loss when it came to something as simple as eating fruit.

Everyone (or at least the Gingerboy thought) that everyone knew that a banana tasted better when it was peeled, that a sour apple was much better when it was dipped in coconut oil, that one must spit the pits out of cherry.

()()

Growing above and beyond frustrated with the minimal food selection Byakuya opted to forget his hunger and brew himself a fine cup of tea for tea was never a disappointment.

Wiping his hands clean of juices and seeds the noble man reached for the glass kettle sitting atop the stove. It was a quiet night. Only the sound of his footsteps and the ticking of the multiple clocks placed around the mansion were keeping the Kuchiki company.

Or at least up until the moment a gurgling, grumbling sound reached Byakuya's ears-he whipped around ready to fight and defend himself from whatever demon or unknown creature might possibly be lurking in the shadows. Only to berate himself a moment later when he realized it was just his own stomach.

'_You can't ignore me.'_

The Kuchiki imagined it would say if it had a voice and mind of its own.

()()

Ichigo couldn't take it any longer. He had to do something. Granted knocking himself off the counter top probably wouldn't be the smartest option but at least his gingerbread shield prevented any breaks or fracturing of bones in his real body.

Might obtain a few bruises but that was hardly something to raise a brow at.

()()

The present Rukia had given to him had suddenly fallen to the floor. There was no way the box could have fallen to the floor unless something or someone had knocked it down. And even then it seemed unlikely because Byakuya had carefully placed the gift in the far back right hand corner on top of the counter and Rukia had watched him to do it.

Byakuya did not believe his mansion was haunted but there was something out of the ordinary taking place on this night.

Wracking his brain for a good 15-20 minutes the man could not come up with a reasonable explanation. Releasing a tiered sigh, the Kuchiki noble bent down and picked up the box.

Pausing for moment when the faintest hint of ginger and orange spice hit his nose. Even though Rukia had begged Byakuya to open the box he had refused-convinced that whatever lay inside would be of no use to him. But now curiosity had taken its iron hold on the noble raven and he just _had_ to know what was inside.

()

The smell only intensified as Byakuya slit the box open-a tiny note-card placed on top

_**ONE TASTE IS NEVER ENOUGH**_

Taste of what?

Baykuya questioned before removing the Styrofoam kernels and tissue paper. A second note awaited him

_**3 Dimensional GingerBread Boy**_

_**Strawberry-Orange Spice Edition**_

_**#15 ~ Ichigo~**_

Seemed a bit much for a simple food item but at least it would help Byakuya curb his appetite- this is what he hoped for.

But where to start?

Byakuya knew he couldn't just take a bite out of such a large and thick cookie. He'd break half the molars in his mouth if he tried. Maybe this special Gingerboy standing at 3ft tall should be eaten like one would eat a piece of meat? With a fork and knife?

It is not unheard of. Byakuya had witnessed more than a handful of people eating their candy bars and pastries with utensils so why should this be any different?

()()

The Gingerbread boy recognized the look of want coming over the noble's face. He had seen it many times. This is where things became tricky. If Ichigo didn't time it just right…

()()

Rest did not come to Rukia that night. After 45 minutes of tossing and turning the petite raven rolled out of bed and headed into the living room.

Perhaps if Rukia distracted herself with mindless television she could forget all about Byakuya nii-sama and the life like Gingerbread boy that was still most likely sealed inside his box remaining untouched, uneaten.

Rukia sighed and stared blankly at the screen. None of this would have happened-Byakuya would have never become so withdrawn-so cold if Hisana-nee hadn't run off.

Rukia made a promise to her blood sister. Hisana had asked her to never reveal her current whereabouts-her new location-insisted that Byakuya be left in the dark.

And why? Why did her sister do such a thing?

Because Hisana quote '_Did not desire to be hounded any longer'-whatever the hell that meant!_

Her love for Byakuya had come and gone-and if she were to continue on with such a sham for marriage well…she would only be cheating herself from TRUE happiness.

()()

'_Do you think it is selfish of me to want more Rukia?'_

_Rukia did not know how to respond. If she agreed with Hisana-nee then she would be betraying Byakuya but if she sided with Byakuya nii-sama then she was turning her back on her family. Although technically in Rukia's eyes Byakuya was also family and so she felt torn. In the end she could do nothing more but bow her head._

"_Your secret is safe with me. Byakuya will never know about you and Kageyoshi."_

_()_

Byakuya had never tasted a cookie quite like the one he was eating right now at this very moment in time.

He couldn't remember ever tasting anything this _good_ in well…EVER. This cookie-this gingerbread surely couldn't just be made out strawberries, ginger and orange spice-no there had to be something else. Something to set it apart from all other flavors.

Byakuya was not often baffled but at the moment…

Well it did not matter.

The only thing that mattered was the cookie.

The too damn delicious to be considered real cookie!

To hell with proper etiquette not a single soul was around Byakuya abandoned his fork and knife and grabbed the cookie with his hands-opened his mouth wide much like a barbarian would and-

"_Hehe that tickles_."

The voice was crystal clear but the nobleman was lost…lost in his sugar-gasm and did not notice.

()()

On Byakuya's fifth bite he could swear that the rich flavors were practically performing the waltz on his tongue.

Ridiculous. How tasty a simple not so little Gingerbread boy could be.

Then out of nowhere-Byakuya's head began to throb painfully-furrowing his brows the noble raven wondered could this be the fabled sugar rush he'd heard of? Or maybe it was brain freeze? No that was ice cream.

The room began to spin and none of that mattered. A brilliant streak of light flashed across Byakuya's vision-so intense it nearly sent him doubling over-the cookie fell-not far but fell all the same.

"_You really should learn to pace yourself next time."_

What the-? Did this said cookie just speak-just lecture-?

Byakuya shook his head. Unwise decision since it was still pounding-his mind was playing tricks on him-honestly a talking gingercookie the very idea was just…illogical and-enough enough it was time for bed.

_Yes all the Kuchiki needed was a good nights rest._

_()()_

Byakuya barely managed to make it to the staircase before he was slipping…slipping…slipping into a deep dream.

_()()_

Ichigo, out of his gingerbread glamour and now back in his true form managed to catch the noble before his not-so-graceful fall.

Cocking his head to the side smiling ever so slightly-he almost had regrets about knocking Byakuya out with his curled ginger fist but the noble hadn't listened so Ichigo had been forced to take another route.

Realizing he might have over done it a little.

It wasn't preplanned that way. Everything was going at a nice leisurely sort of pace and then suddenly Byakuya (as if someone had set fire under the man) attacked him like a savage beast would a fine slab of boar

…Encouraging the man to eat his cookie coating was fine and dandy …to a point…but the glamour wouldn't work anymore if the noble raven ate all of Ichigo's ginger form.

More importantly his mission to return home would no longer be possible. One of the Empress' not so humorous tricks-in fact it was down right cruel.

_In addition the empress was a pervert and before her departure she said 'Gingerbread boys don't wear clothes so you won't need clothes either.' _

_Luckily when Ichigo set off to find Tousen in the mean streets of Tokyo he managed to at least convince the man to give him some underwear-_

Not that he minded walking in the nude but he had a feeling it would not make for a good first impression and he wanted Byakuya to like him so…

It was a bit of a challenge carrying the other man up several flights of stairs but with gritted teeth and determination-mind over matter Ichigo managed without dropping the noble once.

Granted he probably could have completed the task at quicker pace if the silver band around Byakuya's forth finger hadn't caught Ichigo's attention. What was the story behind it? And why was it that even in a state of sleep Byakuya managed to look so stone faced and unfeeling? What was the story behind this man?

The Gingerbread boy anxious to find out.

()()

Hmm to sleep or not to sleep was the question remaining now. Byakuya was now safely tucked in to bed so Ichigo didn't see any reason to neglect his own sleep. After all tomorrow was sure to be a big day.

But where to sleep? The bed looked quite warm-it would be easy to pull back the covers and slip in next to the noble-easy to cocoon his body in many blankets-easy to drift off into a peaceful dream-easy to forget where he was-easy but not the right choice.

The Gingerbread boy had a problem he enjoyed stretching while he slept-enjoyed twisting and bending and curling his limbs-he could not sleep like a log. It was beyond uncomfortable so Byakuya's bed was out of the question.

After all he didn't think the raven would take it well if he were to say kick him off the bed in the middle of the night.

So Ichigo would find a different place to rest. Somewhere near Byakuya but not uber close where he would startle the man. The sound of a single drip reached Ichigo's ears…he followed it and was led towards the bathroom.

()()

A tub not exactly ideal but at least it was large enough to stretch-now what could he use as a blanket? The fluffy periwinkle blue bathrobe hanging on the back door seemed like it would be a good fit.

()()

Morning…

Byakuya had never snored a day in his life nor did he know of anyone who snored. After the night he'd had Byakuya did not wish for snoring to be the first thing to greet him when he awoke. Wait! Snoring?

Byakuya sat upright and his thin threaded brows furrowed together.

Was it possible a raccoon or something had slipped in through the partially open window in the downstairs den and made its way upstairs?

Raccoons were basically demons with striped tails in Byakuya's opinion and the Kuchiki didn't want to risk bumping into the creature without arming himself first.

It was no laughing matter. Raccoons are not to be toyed with. Last year in mid October the hellish beasts destroyed half the garden.

Byakuya did not wish for a repeat. Once was bad enough.

()()

Byakuya set off towards the bathroom with a wire coat hanger in hand. He was not fond of animal cruelty-wouldn't beat the fluffy beast over the head or gouge its eyes out he just wished to scare it away.

()()

The snoring grew louder when Byakuya pushed the door to the bathroom open wincing slightly at the way it squeaked.

Byakuya stepped inside and surveyed the room with sharp silver-amethyst eyes-yes everything seemed to be in order everything but the shower curtain. The noble raven always left the curtain open because it is the way Hisana had preferred it.

Even though his was wife was not with him at this moment in time-hadn't been with him for several months-almost a year-Byakuya had hope that she would return.

The snoring increased in volume snapping the Kuchiki from his slight daze, tightening the grip on the clothing hanger Byakuya decided to end the suspense and pull back the curtain.

()()

It was not a raccoon. Not an animal at all but a boy-a boy wearing his wife's bathrobe and eye mask asleep inside the bathtub.

The vein above Byakuya's brow twitched. Who was the culprit behind this prank?

Not Rukia for the girl knew better than to try his patience and invade his space in such a fashion.

Without a shadow of a doubt the culprit behind this not-so-amusing prank had to be Kyoraku-bastard. Byakuya would fix the shameless drunk if it were the last thing he vowed to do.

But first…the sleeping youth needed to be dealt with.

()()

Byakuya estimated that the boy in the tub was fairly young so he opted for a gentler approach then he normally would have used on an intruder.

Patting a natural peach tinted cheek lightly, his voice a low drawl,

"I do not know who you are nor do I want to know why you have come here. I do not care for senseless babble or fabled explanations. You are to remove yourself from this house at once. That is all."

The eye mask was removed and cinnamon and coffee brown eyes slowly cracked open-the boy sat up and stretched his arms above his head and let out a yawn-only to quickly clap his hand over his mouth when Byakuya shot him a glare.

()()

Ichigo scratched the back of his head and grinned at the noble almost sheepishly "Uh, hi."

"…" An arched brow,

Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck and stood up to explain "I uh-I guess you're wondering what I'm doing here in your bathroom and all and you see there is an explanation for all of this."

"Is there now? Well perhaps you would care to enlighten me?"

Was that a bit of amusement he detected in Byakuya's voice?

If it was it was good sign. Still…

Ichigo couldn't just come out and tell the man the truth. The noble would think him insane but the Gingerbread boy had never been a fan of lying either so instead the half-truth was the best route to take.

"You took a bite out of me last night-well several bites actually but-

"I beg your pardon! What do you mean I took a_ bite _out of you_?"_

If glares could be used as a deadly weapon Ichigo would be 6 feet under by now.

"Think about the question before you give me an answer and remember to choose your words carefully."

Byakuya tapped his foot rather impatiently while he awaited an answer. Ichigo let out a sigh and explained his story from the very beginning.

()()

Not the least bit surprised that Byakuya hadn't believed a single word when he finished.

"You honestly expect me to believe such a tall tale about sugar crystals, a vengeful empress and a city floating in the sky? Why kind of fool do you take me for? And take off that robe before you wrinkle it!"

Ichigo quickly removed the robe and ignored the morning chill on his skin as he hurried to say, "I know this all seems farfetched but I swear to you it is true."

A derisive snort, "If room and board is what you require from me then I will offer it to you-for a short time. This is not a charity. I expect you to be gone before the start of the New Year."

Well things weren't going as well as the Gingerbread boy had hoped for but at least Byakuya was allowing him to stay in his house.

Ichigo wasn't sure how much "magic" he could pull out of the hat in 5 days but it was better than nothing.

He'd barely gotten the words "thank you" out of his mouth before the noble's back was already turned to him.

Ichigo frowned.

Hating that he was starting to have doubts about the whole thing.

Course it wasn't the first time during his mission to find the raven beauty Ichigo had made a few mistakes along the way…the main one being getting involved with a married man who was also the father of two children. In Ichigo's defense how was he supposed to know that it was a bad idea…how could he have known that lurking just beneath the surface of a friendly and care free all around good guy there was a monster?

It seemed like the right choice in the beginning…

_Ginjo Kugo, the life of the party, the smart and savvy salary man, the doting father, the perfect husband, the reckless underground gangster?_

_Ichigo was convinced that surely being stuck in his ginger glamour for so long was beginning to take its toll on him-making his eyes play tricks on him because there was no way this could be true. Ginjo was faithful, loyal, sweet, patient not violent, ruthless, controlling…something just didn't add up. _

_People don't just change over night. Ichigo had been tailing Ginjo for weeks and there was no way that man and the one standing only a few feet away from him wearing a cocky smirk, a shiny set of brass knuckles and blood on his shirt and under his fingernails could be the same guy who willing attended PTA meetings, walked the family dogs, showered his wife with flowers, played tea party with his daughter, coached his son baseball team could be one and the same._

"_What have we here?"_

_It was pointless to struggle in Ginjo's strong hold. Ichigo had brought this on himself. He was the idiot who judged the raven at face value, he was the one who stalked the man night and day, he was the one who hid himself in Ginjo's garage-waiting for the right moment to jump out and work charm his way into the mans' heart-_

_()()_

Ichigo shook his head.

Byakuya was different. He was sure of it. Ginjo had just been a bad seed but Byakuya…there was nothing bad about the noble.

()()

_**"I know it's a bit unorthodox Nii-sama but Ichigo is non-refundable. And no one is saying you have to sleep with him-hell you don't even have to kiss him."**_

"_**Language Rukia. Ladies should not swear."**_

Byakuya could guess the petite raven was rolling her eyes even though he could not see her through the telephone.

How Rukia had discovered the unique Gingerbread boy in the first place the nobleman rather not know.

He was still convinced that despite what Rukia said Shunsui was behind the entire thing.

"_I do not know why I have agreed to this probably because I can't stand the sight of you shedding another tear but whatever delusions you might be having I ask you to cease and desist now. I will not defile the ginger even if he does behave and sound very much like a human and-_

"_**He's cute. You can go ahead and say it Nii-sama. Hisa-nee nor anyone else is around to judge you or give you disapproving looks."**_

"_**Wha-What does the boys' physical appearance have to do with anything?"**_

Honestly Byakuya did not know what possessed him to keep the strange youth around. It certainly had nothing to do with how Hisana's bathrobe had practically been a perfect fit.

Had nothing to do with the way the boy's peach colored skin was a fine contrast to the periwinkle blue color-nor that vibrant shock of spiky orange locks-these were just small bonuses. After all Byakuya reasoned if he was expected to entertain an unwanted houseguest he should get something out of it.

Byakyuya could hear the poorly concealed sound of giggling in the back round which meant his dearest sister was not alone.

"_**Nothing, nothing at all Nii-sama I'm just happy to know that you won't be spending yet another holiday alone."**_

"_**Just because I have allowed the boy to stay under my room that does not mea-**_

"_**Sure, sure Nii-sama. Listen I need to go now but I will drop by at the end of the week okay?"**_

CLICK. The line was disconnected.

No it was not okay. Byakuya frowned. Nothing about this awkward situation with a magical gingerbread boy/alien-whatever was okay.

()()

TBC


	17. GINGERBREAD BOY 4

**Disclaimer: What'smy excuse for writing Christmas and New Years in July…? Because rumor has it the weather is still gonna be in the 90's come October. Yes I know my logic doesn't make any sense and it doesn't have to because SLY is not Kubo-sensei!**

Warnings: AU, OOC-ness, language, grammar, punctuation, switching views, "weird" stuff, nudity and yeah.

Much thanks to Ane-chan and The weasel is MINE XP for reviewing.

**On with the Kuchiki-noble and his Gingerbread boy…**

GINGERBREAD BOY

**PART FOUR**

A few days have passed and the Gingerbread boy has settled in quite well at the Kuchiki manor. Perhaps a little too well in Byakuya's opinion…

()()

It had nothing to do with a third eye or a sixth sense Byakuya could always tell when someone was intruding on his private time.

But how the Gingerbread boy had managed to get inside the drawing room without a key Byakuya could not say, at least not at that exact moment.

Voice as cold as the winter frost on the windowsill, the noble turned and demanded to know why his unwanted houseguest had chosen this room of all places-

"This room was locked how did you get inside?"

()()

The raven beauty was displeased with him yet again. After living with the man for the past couple of days, Ichigo had grown quite accustomed to Byakuya's rapidly changing moods. And so the gingerbread boy no longer flinched when the noble pinned him with a cold stare-no longer jumped back when the Kuchiki advanced towards him-no longer felt his body tighten when the man grabbed him by the wrist or the forearm.

This is not to say that Ichigo was entirely unaffected by Byakuya's presence, for he was it just wasn't as obvious and he had better control now.

Enough control to pull his arm free from Byakuya's hold.

Enough control to stand his ground and look the raven directly in the eye, let a bit of sass, defiance, snark, slip into his tone, "Maybe if you ask nicely I'll tell you."

Silver-amethyst eyes flashed with warning and Ichigo grinned. "Then again maybe I won't tell you."

Suicidal? A glutton for punishment? A fool falling in hardcore holiday lust? Yes, yes Ichigo was all of the above…to a certain degree. In order to complete his mission he needed to get Byakuya all riled up.

For every well-mannered, soft spoken or gentle man Ichigo had met during his journey more often than not a wolf had lurked just beneath the sheepskin cloak.

Ichigo had selected the drawing room because he liked the way the sunset had cast a glow over Byakuya's bird like features. Thought it made the man look even more beautiful then he already was.

()

_It had been by chance that Ichigo had come across the Kuchiki 3 nights ago found the man staring straight into the fire lost in his thoughts or perhaps a memory. Stone like expression cracked and warmed as the minutes had passed by. _

_Ichigo could watch through the tiny keyhole all night long if Byakuya hadn't asked him to change the bedding in all 27 rooms of the estate._

'_I think it would be best if you earn your keep while you are here-since my servants have the week off you will be expected to make yourself useful.'_

_()_

_And so the Gingerbread Boy made a decision-he was going to see a more serene looking Byakuya up close the moment the ideal opportunity struck._

()

Although, the Gingerbread boy frowned slightly, from the way things currently stood, serenity was the furthest thing from the proud Kuchiki's mind.

"I've had just about all I can take of your cheek."

It didn't register in Ichigo's mind right away.

Byakuya's moments were about a hairs breath away from being lightning speed as he moved his elegant set of fingers to his waist and removed his belt.

The clink was muffled by the soft carpeting.

The Gingerbread boy couldn't decide if he found this disappointing or not. He'd half hoped Byakuya would take him over his knee and spank him right then.

()()

The not quite closet sadist in Byakuya felt a stab of disappointment when he didn't even receive a flinch or a bulging of eyes, nor a wince when he unceremoniously shoved the boy to the floor keeping the youth pinned down with the heel of his imported moccasin.

Perhaps he should have worn a different set of shoes for the occasion then again none of this had been preplanned.

At least not on Byakuya's part-he could not say for sure what Kurosaki Ichigo had or hadn't been planning.

No matter even if it took all night or the remainder of the holiday season the Gingerbread Boy would learn to show him some respect.

Now then, thought Byakuya, what is the most productive course of action to take?

()()

While the Kuchiki noble contemplated how to play out the rest of the evening and put the Gingerbread in his place, Ichigo contemplated how he could get Byakuya to join him on the plush carpeting from his current position.

He couldn't exactly tug Byakyuya down by his foot although the thought was rather amusing-this is not to say Ichigo couldn't gain some control over the situation for he could.

Byakuya would soon discover his mistake and then it would be too little too late.

Ah well more power to the Gingerbread boy.

()()

There was a flash of something in expressive brown eyes and although Byakyuya could not decipher what it was he knew he would have to watch Kurosaki Ichigo even closer.

The way young muscles twitched-rippled beneath the heel of his foot he could tell something was brewing in the Gingerbread boy's mind.

()()

Byakuya's biggest mistake had been leaving Ichigo's hands free. Free to tease-free to explore…

And had the noble raven been any other man his eyes would have surely widened to a comical degree when Ichigo began rubbing his ankle.

"I'd advise you not to rub there but you would not listen to me anyway, stubborn as you are."

Ichigo grinned at Byakuya's deadpan tone. Half believing he could get his rocks off on the man's voice alone. Perhaps it was something he should try out at a later date? Hmm.

"What's the matter, are you ticklish or sensitive or something?"

For a moment-a split second really, face a little flushed, Byakuya seemed at a loss for words but quickly regained his composure and threatened, "If you don't remove your hand at once I will throw you into the fire and watch dispassionately as you burn."

The Gingerbread boy wasn't thick headed-did not think for one moment that Byakuya was bluffing yet at the same time he did not believe the man was capable of murder.

The raven was just trying to scare him.

Ichigo would not rise to the bait. He would not bow down to Byakuya so easily. Where was the fun in that?

And so he continued teasing the Kuchiki's ridiculously smooth vanilla cream ankle-half wishing that he were in a better position so he could run his tongue along side it.

"Throwing me into the fire won't help either of us," the Gingerbread boy purred, "Besides you started this."

Silver-amethyst orbs flickered and narrowed dangerously. "Must I ask you repeatedly not to try my patience, Kurosaki Ichigo?"

An eye roll and a cocky smirk, "Just call me Ichigo. Pretty soon I'll be sleeping in your bed and eating off your plate so-

"You will do no such thing!"

Ichigo's smirk didn't leave his face. Cold tone or not. The Kuchiki did not have him fooled for a minute-Byakuya's body spoke for itself. Shoulders and back had noticeably stiffened and a tent was rising in raven's fancy dress pants.

Perfect. Just a little more.

"Oh yes I will," Ichigo spoke each and every word with absolute confidence, feeling, knowing he was slowly but surely reeling Byakuya in, "And you'll love every single minute of it. In fact why wait? I'm at your mercy go ahead, reach out and touch me."

()(0

Kurosaki Ichigo was down right infuriating with his cocky arrogance and bold moments. Byakuya prided himself on having absolute control but this Ginger boy was making it increasingly difficult.

And that damn sing-song teasing tone of his certainly wasn't helping matters.

Damn Rukia. Damn Shunsui. Damn them both for bringing this-this _person-_ into his home. Damn them both for planting these thoughts in his mind.

A part of Byakuya felt highly insulted. As if he had trouble finding a sexual partner! Like he really needed to settle for some _**alien cookie being**_ from another world!

Well what was done was done and there is no way he can turn back now. If he did he wouldn't be a Kuchiki and Kuchiki Byakuya never went about doing things half assed.

Removing his foot from the boys' chest, barely giving the bratty punk a moment to notice that the weight had been lifted, Byakuya hauled the Gingerbread boy up from off the floor and dragged him over to the china cabinet.

At first he had thought the fire place but then rerouted when the sudden urge to use the hot poker had overcome him-sadistic though Byakuya could be from time to time he didn't think he would be capable of such a heinous act-to harm the boy to that degree-no he did not desire to scar such a beautiful body so the china cabinet would do.

The Kuchiki noble did not appreciate being toyed with and he was not going to make the same mistake the second time around-he made sure to pin the youth's hands.

"No need to be soft and gentle. I'm a big boy I can handle anything."

Byakuya's naturally arched brow twitched. Perhaps he should seal the boys' mouth shut as well?

But no. To seal or silence the boy would mean leaving the room-would mean wasting time and-

"You will bite your tongue or I will bite it for you."

"Hmm, that doesn't sound like such a bad thing to me."

If Byakuya had been the type of man to growl right then and there would have been the most opportune moment to do so…

"You are so-

"Sweet, delicious and delightfully tangy all at the same time?" The Gingerbread boy supplied, "Why thank you," He didn't have to see it to know Ichigo was smirking. "I bet you're pretty tasty yourself."

"…"

"If I ask nicely and continue to face the cabinet like a good pup will you give me a treat after words?"

"Assuming you live through this night, then yes, perhaps."

Wait! What the hell? Byakuya hadn't mean to-he didn't-

Sweet chestnuts on an open fire the Gingerbread boy, Kurosaki Ichigo, was slowly but surely needling his way into his brain.

()()

Ichigo's grin was wider than ever.

Lips started a teasing and fluttery trail along the back of his neck making the fine barely visible hairs rise and the muscles underneath twitch.

Ichigo momentarily lost where his train of thoughts had been leading. He had not been expecting this level of soft and gentleness from the nobleman. Was sure Byakuya was going shut him up but didn't think this would be the method to do so-did not expect to feel so…so…

Ichigo wasn't really the type to squirm but he was squirming plenty. Heh, he knew there was more to the Kuchiki than the stone cold surface.

Byakuya's lips continued their dance along his skin-for some reason the image of cool peppermint sprinkles came to the Gingerbread boys' mind at that moment. Is that the flavor he would associate the raven's mouth with when they kissed?

Ichigo released a moan when the Byakuya switched up the tune a bit and sucked on to his sensitive flesh and quickly muffled his sound best he could by digging his teeth into his bottom lip.

Normally Ichigo never silenced himself during the act of mating but Byakuya was different from any other he'd been with and so it would not be in his best interest to moan and grind back against the noble-basically behave like a shameless wanton whore.

Such behavior would only disgust or quite possibly bore the Kuchiki and that would ruin any and all plans Ichigo had-in addition he'd be stuck on planet Earth forever.

Still…would it kill Byakuya to pick up the pace a little?

The man was proving to be rather stubborn.

Even with his firm body pressed against Ichigo's back, his delicate but ridiculously strong fingers pinning Ichigo's wrists-the raven beauty hadn't even finished removing his clothes-hell he hadn't even stripped the Gingerbread boys' out of his.

While Ichigo wasn't opposed to a dry humping session against a china cabinet (assuming they even got to that part) he was horny and wanted/needed more. Much more.

He'd been told oh so many a times with his past lovers that his ass was a marvelous and wondrous thing and that it deserved to be groped and fondled and worshiped in all the right ways. Everyone had loved his ass and Ichigo knew Byakuya wouldn't be any different. All the man needed was that extra additional push!

()()

Byakuya could not be held accountable for doing what he was about to do.

Not when the Gingerbread boy had taunted, teased him so.

Day after day, night after night he had paraded around in Hisana's bathrobe, wore Hisana's perfume, played Hisana's harp and sat in Hisana's chair. A holiday demon under the guise of a semi-innocent but painfully bratty alien named Ichigo-yes that's what this boy truly was.

Byakuya tried to be nice. He tried to be patient but every man has his limits-even one such as he himself who bared the Kuchiki surname.

()()

Being fucked dry was already uncomfortable but being fucked dry with out any stretching was even worse.

Ichigo was sure something must have torn-would not be surprised if there was a good amount of bruising and scars from the harsh pounding and continuous thrusts.

Sure the Gingerbread boy liked it a little rough, had egged the noble on but this..this was one step down from assault and if the man's deep moaning was anything to judge by then raven was no where near being finished. So at this point there was really nothing else for Ichigo to do but clench his teeth and try to ignore the shooting pain skyrocketing through him.

()()

The logical part of Byakuya's brain knew what he was doing was wrong-knew he should pull out but the heat of Gingerbread boy's ass-it was like being inside a silky volcano not that such things existed but if it did then the inside of Kurosaki Ichigo's perfect peach posterior would be it.

And the logical part of Byakuya's brain also told him that he should at least try to distract the youth-get Ichigo's mind off the vicious pounding but the holiday 'hum beast' in Byakuya was outshining and overshadowing all sense of logic and decency.

At the moment Byakuya did not care if the boy found pleasure in the act, did not care if the youth was trying to desperately muffle his screams and cries, did not care about anything but him self.

Yes the Kuchiki noble was being selfish and right now in this moment the only thing he sought to do was coat Ichigo's anal walls with his seed. Fill the boy to the brim without thoughts like pregnancy or STD's crossing his mind even once.

Why should he think about such things when they were impossible? The boy was neither a woman nor a real human so…

()()

"Come let's get you into the tub."

Could have been hours. Could have been nights. Ichigo had no way of really knowing. The only thing the Gingerbread boy knew was he wasn't even sure he could move after that performance but the promise of warm water lapping at his sore body sounded quite wonderful.

()()

Byakuya was kind enough to help him upstairs and into the bathroom. There was a certain tension in the air now, one that hadn't been there before.

Silver-amethyst eyes swept over Ichigo's nude and bruised form-he lowered his head and curled in on himself suddenly feeling more exposed in his life than he ever had. It was strange-the Gingerbread boy did not like it.

And Byakuya's expression-even after the "workout" the man remained just about as stone faced as ever, the tone in his voice had softened a few degrees though.

Byakuya cleared his throat, rolled up his sleeves and went about preparing Ichigo's bath.

Ichigo wasn't sure how to feel and so he remained silent and just watched the Kuchiki out of the corner of one eye. It was strange, watching the proud noble do something so well common. Movements were careful, practiced, graceful, the man made filling a tub look almost artistic.

Ichigo shook his head and snorted. How ridiculous! Byakuya was probably drawing a bath for him because he was feeling guilty-yes guilt and nothing else.

Ichigo glared at Byakuya's hand and then at Byakuya. And then noticed the way his shoulders were slumped, the way his silky locks had lost some of their natural sheen, that his skin looked paler than normal-it was disturbing to say the very least.

This bastard had no right to look so damn defeated or whatever.

"I'm not broken so you can stop looking like someone shot your prized penguin!"

Fine threaded brows furrowed together for a moment.

The noble was utterly and completely puzzled. He stilled his movements and turned to Ichigo. "Penguin? Whatever gave you the idea that I had a penguin."

Ichigo wanted to laugh. Because Byakuya looked so ridiculous just then but if he laughed he'd only further confuse the man and-

He shook his head "Never mind, it's just a term of expression."

Silence-not complete silence-the sound of running water-Ichigo winced slightly as he sat down and it did not go unnoticed by Byakuya.

"Are you-will you be in need of medical care?"

"Nah, like I said before I'm not broken just a little sore," Ichigo shrugged carelessly and responded with, "It'll heal in time."

"In time it will also leave scars." The Kuchiki's matter of fact tone was irritating and if the Gingerbread boy hadn't been feeling like some one had attacked his insides with a meat cleaver he would have punched Byakuya in his perfect nose.

"Nothing I can't handle, part Gingerbread remember?"

Not exactly the truth but the raven didn't have to know that.

"None of this would have happened if you hadn't provoked me, Ichigo."

Damn. Why couldn't Byakuya have called him by his first name earlier-why did the man have to wait until-Ichigo shook his head and reached for the small bottle of soap ready to lather his face, neck and arms only to have his hands stilled.

"Let me."

Ichigo sighed realizing that there was a time to be stubborn and proud and a time to just let someone else take care of him. Rather reluctantly he passed the bottle to Byakuya. "True I did provoke you but it was only because I wanted to loosen your strings."

"My strings? You have a strange way with words, Kurosaki Ichigo."

Ichigo rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. Really Byakuya was back to this ridiculous formality already-what the hell?

"…"

"Raise your arms."

Ichigo did as instructed and further elaborated on his previous statement, "You're wound up so damn tight like a freakin' violin-it's unhealthy for a man your age."

"A man my age, what exactly do you mean by that?"

"Ichigo sank a little deeper into the water before answering "I can tell just by looking at your face, even though it's hard as stone you haven't even hit the 30 year mark yet."

A hint of irritation slipped into Byakuya's voice "What does my _age_ have to do with a violin string?"

Ichigo was trying to focus-really he was but the combination of Byakuya's skilled, cool fingers and the warm soapy water was making it a little bit difficult.

The Gingerbread boy had always been rather fond of baths and could not stop the purr from slipping out…

"You are a strange one."

'_Heh look whose talking,'_ thought Ichigo inwardly. Outwardly he smirked at Byakuya, "So I've been told."

"You will join me for a glass of wine after this."

A request. Not quite. More like a soft command.

"Oh I will, will I?"

"Yes you still owe me a proper explanation for sneaking up on me in the drawing room."

()()()

TO BE CONCLUDED

THANKS FOR READING!


	18. GINGERBREAD BOY FINALE PART 1

**Disclaimer: He's alive! Great scott he's alive! I knew Kubo-sensei didn't have it in him to really kill off Byakuya. **

Special thanks to: The weasel is MINE XP and bloodytears87 for dropping reviews.

Warnings: AU, OOC-ness. Language, grammar, punctuation, run ons, switching views, brief character bashing, mpreg, etc.

**Gingerbread Boy**

FINALE

PART ONE

_Reason why is at the bottom in extra authors note_

()()

"So uh you still want to know why I-

"Trespassed? Yes I would very much like to know."

The Gingerbread boy twiddled his fingers together suddenly feeling nervous again.

Maybe it was because Byakuya was calmly taking sips from his wineglass as he awaited an explanation or maybe it was because the nobleman's gaze hadn't left his face since they entered the master bedroom.

Course the portrait hanging just above the fancy bed frame wasn't helping either for it wasn't just any old portrait but the portrait of a beautiful dark haired beauty with porcelain skin.

Perhaps it was just Ichigo's imagination but he was quite certain the woman was glaring at him-as if to say -how dare you touch what's mine!

Orange brows furrowed. Why hadn't he noticed the portrait before back on the first night when he carried Byakuya to bed?

Instead of answering the raven's question Ichigo asked Byakuya a question of his own, "The woman in the picture, she was your wife wasn't she?"

A dark shadow fell over Byakuya, once again making the man look stone-faced and unapproachable. His voice was clipped and sharp "She _is_ my wife."

Is? Ichigo mentally groaned. He hadn't really fallen for another married man had he? Clearly he must be missing something here right?

The Gingerbread Boy rubbed the back of his neck and chose his next words very carefully. "If she is still your wife why isn't she here with you right now?"

Byakuya flinched as if burned and then glared darkly at Ichigo "That is none of your concern." The man's eyes darkened and the Gingerbread was reminded of a winter storm.

Okay so maybe it would be best to back track and forget the last three minutes that occurred? Clearly whatever Byakuya's story was, he didn't have any intention to share it with Ichigo.

It must be quite a complex tale.

Ah well the Empress of the Hourglass hadn't appeared yet. Ichigo still had time.

"I will ask again and this time I expect an answer, why did you go into that room?"

Now really wasn't the time to behave like a cheeky brat but Ichigo couldn't quite help himself "Why do you think I went in there?"

A series of emotions flashed across Byakuya's face. He seemed to be struggling with something-some sort of inner battle. Perhaps the nobleman still felt guilty about his previous behavior?

'_**If it's really bothering you that much you could always kiss me and make it better.'**_ Thought Ichigo.

Tempting as it was he wouldn't dare voice this out loud-the tension was too thick-wounds too fresh and-

"I have welcomed you into my home, allowed you come and go at your leisure, accepted your strange fascination with women's perfume and undergarments," a quirked brow,

"And all I have asked for in return is that you respect my privacy. One rule. One simple but important rule: Do not go into the drawing room. But you did go into the drawing room and I want to know why?"

It really wasn't that difficult of a question to answer but Ichigo still hesitated a bit before openly admitting, "Because I want to know more about you uh-you're like some kind of enigma or something, Byakuya."

"…"

Silence fell over the room. Minutes passed. Maybe 10. Perhaps 20. Ichigo waited and waited-dared to hope that something would change now that Byakuya knew he just wanted to get to know and understand him.

The berry held onto the slim chance that the proud noble would admit to feeling something more than momentary blind lust and irritation towards him.

He was sorely disappointed.

Byakuya brought his wine glass to his lips and drank and drank and drank until his vanilla cream cheeks were slightly flushed and his sharp silver-amethyst orbs glazed over.

When at last the noble opened his mouth to speak the only words to pass his lips was a slightly slurred drawl of, "I trust you can manage to walk back to the guestroom with out assistance?"

Ichigo felt irritated. No he felt more than just irritated. He felt angry. Very angry. After all that-after all of that Byakuya wasn't even going to-

The Gingerbread boy bit back a cruse ignored the urge to punch the nobleman's perfect face, bowed his head and left the bedroom with out another word.

()()

Ichigo refused to go back to the guestroom and sulk and brood. And he damn sure had no intention of throwing himself some sort of pathetic pity party.

No rather than do any of these things Ichigo decided that he was going to come up with another a plan-a better plan to win Byakuya over.

Trying to seduce the raven beauty had proved disastrous so instead he would try a different angle and befriend the man first.

In order to do this the Gingerbread knew he would have to step away from the mansion and do some investigating.

If Byakuya wasn't going to tell him about the wedding band on his finger and the wife in question who was clearly no where in site-if the man wasn't going to share his secrets and fantasies and likes and dislikes well then Ichigo would have to take matters into his own hands and find out the answers through research.

Possibly track down the "wife" and have a chat with her.

Ichigo realized that this new plan would obviously lead him off track-time was running out and his raven-to-be didn't even like him let alone love him and yet here he was trying to slow things down?

The Gingerbread boy brushed a hand over his stomach sorely disappointed to find that nothing had changed. Nor would it if he continued on at this snail like pace.

Feeling frustrated with himself and the night as a whole Ichigo fell back on to the bed and let sleep claim him.

()()

Morning…

Ichigo was up with the sun and feeling excited for the start of the new day. Before he ventured out into town and knocked on random doors he decided to something nice for Byakuya.

Simple but nice. Not entirely sure what the raven beauty preferred for breakfast, he made a combination of different things, piled everything on to one of the fancy trays and left it out side the Kuchiki's bedroom door.

()()

"_**So you released the pent up dragon with in and enjoyed a few hours of mindless meaningless sex, good for you Nii-sama, I knew you could do it!"**_

If Byakuya were the type of man to slap himself in the forehead he would have done so just then. What on earth had possessed him to call up Rukia the following day and tell her about what had transpired between the Gingerbread boy and himself?

Byakuya should have known better than to think Rukia would act like a normal sane human being for once and reprimand him for his actions.

But instead the young woman was praising, congratulating and further encouraging him to soil the innocent (well perhaps not so innocent-not with the way Ichigo had moved his shapely hips and-) Not the point! The point was-

'_**What the hell is the matter with me?'**_

The nobleman hadn't realized he voiced his question out loud until his dearest sisters' giggling voice reached his ears once more. _**"Nothing is wrong with you Nii-sama. The girls and I have had a bet going for awhile now and I'm proud to announce that I won!"**_

Byakuya's perfect brows furrowed together as he dared to ask Rukia to elaborate on what she meant by "bet"

"What are you talking about Rukia?"

More giggling.

Byakuya rubbed the side of his temple. Really sometimes it was hard to believe the young woman had passed her teenage years with the way she carried on.

"_**Nothing Byakuya-nii-sama, nothing at all. The point is for the first time since Hisa-nee's departure you allowed yourself to enjoy the feeling of wrapping yourself up in another warm body. Honestly you couldn't have picked a better choice since Ichigo is completely different from Hisana in every way."**_

"Rukia can you please stop for a moment and seriously think about what I have just told you?"

"_**I've thought about it plenty."**_ The young woman was smirking. Byakuya could hear it in her tone, "_**I'm convinced that Ichigo chose you just as much as you chose him."**_

Byakuya did not understand. "Rukia what are you talking about?"

"_**Nah uh can't tell you Nii-sama it would be unfair."**_

Byakuya still failed to understand. "Unfair to whom?"

His sister did not answer rather she avoided the question entirely and decided to ask another inappropriate question in stead. "_**So on a scale of one to ten inquiring minds really want to know, what would you rate your night with the delectable Ginger?"**_

"Inquiring minds want to-what are you-?"

Byakuya heard several giggles and snickering and concluded that Rukia was not alone. His shameless sister must have him on speaker.

"Rukia would you and your companions please cease and desist! I have committed a serious crime and I need to know what the next best course of action to take should be." A pause, "While I do not wish to spend the remainder of the holiday season behind bars I must do something."

"**I can think of quite a few things you can do** _**Byakuya-san**_." it was said with a purr-thankfully not his sister-that would have been above and beyond disturbing.

Byakuya rubbed his temple once more. Not that it was helping. Honestly had these young women any shame at all? Of course not!

"RUKIA!"

"_**Hai Nii-sama, what is it?"**_

Rukia asked with feigned innocence. As if she didn't know? As if she was completely unaware of Byakuya's inner turmoil right now.

"_Please_ in all seriousness how should I go about setting things right with the boy?"

The answer did not come right away. Byakuya imagined Rukia was probably seeking ideas/suggestions/advice from her companions.

He prided himself on his patience but found it was wearing thinner and thinner ever since Kurosaki Ichigo showed up in his bathtub.

After a exceedingly long wait of 5 minutes

"_**You can make things right with Ichigo all you have to do is-**_

"Yes?"

"_**Kiss him!" Not just Rukia but the quartet of woman chorused.**_

"Kiss him? Really?"

Byakuya wasn't sure that would be the solution-it seemed _too_ forward…

"Are you certain that is the right way? What if it gives Ichigo the wrong impression and he cowers in fear thinking it's only a matter of time before I-

"_**Before you what? Ravish him? Soil him? Fuck him straight into next Christmas?"**_

_**More giggling followed up by a chorus of "Go for it!"**_

Byakuya had heard enough. And so he hung up the phone.

Honestly Rukia and her companions proved to be of little to no help to him at all.

He nibbled on the last piece of toast (the only thing left on the tray that had been piled with breakfast foods) and released another sigh.

Perhaps it would be best to just keep his distance from the Gingerbread Boy?

()()

What better place was there to conduct his research than the library?

Not one that Ichigo could think of. He walked through the glass double doors with an extra spring in his step and a bright smile on his boyish face.

Today was going to be a good day he could feel it.

()

The Gingerbread Boy was not disappointed.

Not only did Ichigo discover the basics like where Byakuya had been born, how many siblings and relatives the man had, what schools and universities the raven had attended, the year the man married and the like.

In addition during his search Ichigo learned about Byakuya's love for gardening, calligraphy, foreign films, red wines and exotic teas.

Naturally that wasn't all there was to the nobleman but Ichigo felt there was no need to rush. He would discover more about Byakuya all in good time.

With this in mind the berry switched up his search to Byakuya's wife.

()

3 paragraphs in, he was beginning to regret his decision.

The woman whose name he discovered was Hisana, sounded like the closest thing to perfection a human was capable of being.

_Loving, sweet, loyal, humble, charming, witty, fun, vivacious, spirited, even-tempered, creative, multi-talented, ambitious, driven, patient, intriguing, passionate_ and the list went on and on and on.

Orange brows knitted tightly together and as Ichigo moved into another section he felt like breaking the computer screen.

Apparently in addition to her sparkling personality and radiant beauty, Hisana had also been a straight A student, a campaign model, she played the harp, baked cakes and cookies.

She was a runner up 3 years in a row for Miss Cherry Blossom-all during her teen years. She took a year off in order to study abroad before entering college, where she majored in literature and language.

During her free time she worked soup kitchens, walked dogs and tutored children with special needs. Ugh! Was there anything this woman didn't do?

Surely she had to have some sort of flaw-some sort of-

()

As the day progressed Ichigo's cheerful mood dwindled and then died out completely when he came across the wedding photos and videos.

Hisana's gown was classic and simple yet she carried herself like an elegant swan or a princess.

The way the dress flowed at the bottom gave off the illusion that she might as well have been floating on clouds or something equally annoying!

Her hair was pulled back-held together with a single butterfly comb, her eyes brighter than the sunset behind her.

Ichigo glared at Hisana's disgustingly perfect face and slammed his head (repeatedly) on top of the keyboard.

_How the hell can I compete with this?_

"I don't stand a chance!"

"Cheer up _Strawberry-kun_, its not so bad."

It had been years but Ichigo recognized that bubbly voice instantly.

His head shot up and he expected to find the Empress of the Hour Glass in all her sparkling large-bosomed glory hovering above him or something. Rangiku was not there.

"Over here."

Ichigo stood up and turned just in time to find the Empress of the Hour Glass stepping out from behind one of the long bookshelves.

Of course Rangiku didn't look like an Empress at all this time around. She was dressed in a hot pink zip up velour ensemble and white furry boots and a small drawstring velvet bag dangled around her neck. Not that Ichigo gave a damn!

"Rangiku," the gingerbread boy hissed, "What are you doing here?'

The Empress' powder blues twinkled and she answered, "Why checking up on you of course. Seems to me your having a bit of trouble scooping up your raven beauty so I thought I'd pop down and lend you a hand."

Ichigo was skeptical. The Empress had always been a little strange but "Isn't that against the rules?"

Rangiku waved the Gingerbread Boy's concerns away. "Pish tosh, rules who needs rules? Life and love is a lot more fun when you allow yourself to take risks, let loose," a smirk pulled at her sugar plum pink painted lips, "A lot _more_ loose next time, wouldn't you agree Ichigo?"

Ichigo flushed and then glared at the Empress. "If I was too lose my ass wouldn't be all that appealing and then I really wouldn't stand a chance with Byakuya."

Here Rangiku laughed, "Too loose? Oh my Strawberry-kun such a thing is impossible," there was a different kind of twinkle in her eye, "Just one of your many gifts."

Ichigo chose not to comment.

The Empress pouted. "Oh come on _Ichigo-chaaaan _don't be like that. You know I only tell you these things to remind you of what you already know. You're special."

"Special? _Riiiight?_ Oh so damn _special_," Ichigo's tone was sarcastic and bitter now, "Can't even properly seduce the man who's supposed to be my one-way ticket home."

Rangiku clucked her tongue. "Don't be such a Grinch! It's not like you to doubt yourself like this."

Ichigo wasn't in the mood for lectures or pep talks or whatever the Empress was trying to do. "Whatever. Go away you're distracting me from my research."

Moving with the kind of speed that could rival a cougar, the Empress was upon the Gingerbread Boy and pinching his cheek-_hard!_ "Don't be so nasty strawberry-kun or I might leave with out giving you this!"

She played with the black velvet drawstring bag dangling around her neck.

Ichigo raised a brow "What's that? Another silly charm you expect me to wear?"

She pinched his cheek again and narrowed her powder blues, "Don't be such a brat, it's not a charm in this little pouch of mine," the twinkle returned. "It's dust, fairy dust."

Fairy dust? Seriously? Wasn't that outlawed like, millennia ago?

Whatever. Ichigo wanted no part of it.

"Not interested."

He turned his back fully expecting her to give up pouting like a child and leave.

She did not.

And in the end…

()()

After an hour of bickering the Gingerbread Boy Ichigo and the Empress of the Hourglass Rangiku decided it would be best for him to wear a disguise before meeting Byakuya's wife.

Posing as a salesman carrying a suitcase filled with senseless junk but the woman wouldn't know that-with a few sprinkles of fairy dust and the senseless junk inside the suitcase became top of the line beauty products.

()

"Good afternoon I'm from _**Ginger Inc **_and I wonder if I could borrow just a few moments of your time and-

The expression on Hisana's face was open and inviting even though it was clear that she was in a bit of a hurry.

"Of course, of course please come on in. I was just on my way out the door but I find it hard to resist a good sale." She stepped to the side allowing him entry.

Ichigo half wished he could pull the fancy welcome mat right out from under her and make the woman smash her perfect nose on the concrete. But managed to refrain.

()()

Rather than sitting down the woman was flitting around the room like some kind of fucking humming bird! Fluffing the pillows on the couch, dusting the bookshelves, lampshades, coffee table and shampooing the area rugs. It was kind of exhausting to watch.

Ichigo almost lost track of the reason he had come.

"Just by signing up with us today you'll receive a 25 percent discount off of every product and-

Hisana laughed suddenly seeming a bit sheepish, "Oh please do forgive me but I just can't help myself at times I feel like life might end if I'm not constantly in motion."

"Erm yes of course I mean there's no need to apologize Ma'am." Ichigo opened up the briefcase and laid it out on the empty spot next to him- "As you can see for yourself _**Gingerbread Inc**_ offers everything from blush and face creams to body glitter and bathsal-

"Miss please, Ma'am makes me sound like such an old woman."

Hisana touched her face and moved to stand in front of the long glittering mirror mounted just above the fire place, "Are the lines really that bad? I keep telling Yoshi that I should schedule a botox appointment but he insists I don't look a day over 20."

Ichigo didn't know how to respond. The Hisana he'd read about and the one standing before him right now was very different.

She twirled around once again practically blinding the Gingerbread boy with her radiant smile, "You couldn't have come at a better time," eyes twinkling, "Tell me do you have some sort of magic powder or cream in that case that can take ten years off of my wrinkled visage?"

_Wrinkled visage?_ The only wrinkle lines Ichigo could make out weren't actually wrinkles at all but laugh lines. Orange brows furrowed together. Could this woman have some body dysmorphia or self esteem issues?

And what was up with that line about feeling as if she would die if she weren't constantly in motion?

Ichigo suddenly felt like a complete asshole. He should leave. He should have never come.

Hisana was clearly troubled and quite obviously lonely. What ever happened between her and Byakuya-he shook his head and decided to drop the act entirely.

"Hisana-san I'm actually not the person I claimed to be just a few moments ago."

The woman looked up at him, confusion written on her face, "I don't understand, how do you know my name-who are you?"

"I'm-

Ichigo couldn't tell Hisana the truth. It would be too weird and wrong in some way-several ways-and now that he saw how miserable the woman was hewas reminded of how equally miserable Byakuya had looked-

"I'm here to deliver a message."

Naturally the woman was still baffled. Ichigo carded his fingers through his spiky orange locks and let out a sigh,

"Hisana-san it is time for you to return home to your husband. He misses you terribly."

()()

"_**Because it's a tradition and more importantly you could use the distraction."**_

"Absolutely out of the question."

"_**Oh come on Byakuya-nii-sama I already apologized for earlier. What else do you want me to do?"**_

Nothing. He wanted Rukia to do nothing but leave him in peace because he needed to think.

Well honestly Byakuya didn't know what he needed exactly-he knew what he wanted…well aside from being left in peace to think he also wanted to see the Gingerbread boy who had been mysteriously absent all morning long.

Which was probably for the best considering what happened the previous night.

"I expect nothing else from you Rukia, please just respect my wishes."

The young woman, naturally, would not let it drop "_**Nii-samaaaaa holidays are meant to be fun and you really could use more fun in your life."**_

"I do not need fun in my life what I need is-

It was ridiculous. Byakuya shouldn't have to explain himself at all. Rukia knew how he felt about parties.

Parties usually involved drinking and drinking usually led to loose tongues and slippery fingers. It would only end in disaster. Not that the nobleman was a sloppy or careless drunk mind, rather it was a matter of his unfortunate bad luck.

Aka Shunsui and his tendency to spike the punch bowl when Byakuya's back was turned.

Of course he could always conveniently forget to send his annoying drunk of a co-worker an invitation this year but no that would prove to be a pointless waste of time since the lazy eyed man would just find some other way to get inside the Kuchiki manor.

Byakuya's head began to throb just thinking about it.

"Fine if you insist on a holiday party I'll leave it up to you to make all of the arrangements-provided you keep things with in reason." Byakuya added after a split second pause.

"_**Don't worry so much Nii-sama. I'm only thinking of inviting a few of our closest friends and perhaps a licensed sex therapist?"**_

"Don't even joke about such a thing, Rukia."

The young woman laughed. "_**Not to fret Nii-sama everything will be fine. I promise nothing fancy and even though it would be really kinda fun to have a sex therapist to really spice things up for the holiday, I will respect your wishes."**_

"And when exactly should I expect this party?"

"_**Oh I was thinking Christmas Eve unless you'd rather-"**_

"No Christmas Eve is acceptable."

"_**Goodie. Well I'd love to chat with you all day Nii-sama but I'm meeting the girls at Bloom Square around 2 so-"**_

"No need for you to explain. Don't let me keep you from your social engagements."

"_**Well you know Nii-sama you could come along if you'd like? The girls really want to meet Ichigo and**_-

"Absolutely not. I will not further humiliate the Gingerboy."

"_**Are you still on about that?"**_

Byakuya imagined Rukia was probably rolling her silver blues as she continued on, "_**You need to let it go and stop beating yourself up over that. You said it yourself Ichigo came on to you so if anyone should feel guilty or shameful its him."**_

"We are not having this discussion again, Rukia. The answer is no." Byakuya's tone was final.

He imagined the young woman pouting as she said, "_**Fine take away all my fun."**_

"Good bye Rukia."

"_**Bye Byakuya nii-oh wait! I almost forgot Nemu and I are planning to drop by a little later so-**_

"How much later?"

"_**What does it matter**__ unless, __**could it be you will be occupied with a certain Gingerbread Boy this evening?" **_

The young woman sounded far too cheery.

Byakuya released a sigh. It seemed that no matter what he said, Rukia would not let it drop.

"Rukia if you have any love for me at all you will stop with this nonsense."

"_**I do love you Nii-sama love you so much that-**_

That slamming of a door drowned out the rest of her sentence.

"_Rukia please hang up the phone I need to talk to you about something!"_

Silver-amethyst eyes widened at the sound of a second female voice. It was a voice that Byakuya hadn't heard in long time. Far too long. He felt his heart ache and warm all at once.

"Hisana is that you?" he called out

No answer.

"_Lie, don't tell him its me." The woman hissed a moment later._

"_**What? No! I can't lie to him. What's wrong with you?"**__ Rukia hissed back._

"_Rukia this isn't a debate. Hang up now." The woman's tone was demanding and urgent all at once. But Rukia didn't seem to care._

"_Oh just talk to him! It's not going to kill you."_

"_**NO! Please Rukia do not fight me on this. Hang up the phone I need to talk to you."**_

Byakuya frowned. He was positive the woman currently arguing with Rukia was Hisana. His beloved Hisana was clearly troubled by something. Clearly in need of her younger sisters' help or advice. As much as Byakuya wished to be there, to comfort his lost love, he could not for Hisana did not wish to see him-let alone even talk to him.

"Rukia you have company. I will not keep you."

"_**What? No! Nii-sama wait I-**_

"See you this evening."

And with that Byakuya let his phone slip from his fingers and on to the carpet with a dull thud. He ignored the dial tone and sank to his knees.

Having a bit of difficulty grasping what he had just heard. Half believing he was in fact dreaming? But no it hadn't been a dream. Hisana was with Rukia. Hisana had something she wished to tell Rukia. Something important.

Byakuya was not a selfish man. He would not race out the door, hail a taxi-cab and show up at Rukia's cozy little 2 flat unannounced. He would not intrude on a conversation between sisters. He would not get down on his hands and knees like a beggar in the street and ask his wife to come back home where she had clearly been unhappy with him. It was the reason Hisana had left him in the first place.

_**Byakuya could still recount the events of that awful day as clear as a movie picture playing on screen in bright Technicolor-recall the day as though it had taken place just 24 hours ago instead of a last year…**_

_**The sight of Hisana's tear stained face as she stood on the front steps of the mansion for the last time. Pain, regret, disappointment, so many emotions shining in the deep blue depths of her eyes as she removed both the mint green scarf and wedding ring from around her slender neck **_

_**(She'd stopped wearing it on her hand months ago-Byakuya should have seen the signs-should have done something-anything!) and dropped both items into his open palm, closing it gently patting him lightly before raising her head in order to meet his eyes once more.**_

_**As her lips moved the words 'I really wanted this to work but I just can't pretend anymore.' Reached his ears-piercing straight through his heart-wounding his soul-**_

()

The sound of a door opening and closing softly pulled Byakuya away from his memories.

He turned to find Ichigo looking unusually pale and defeated. The Gingerbread Boy swept right past the nobleman with out so much as a nod or a murmured "hello".

Byakuya released another tiered sigh. He couldn't wait until the holidays were over. Perhaps life would return to normal once the New Year arrived.

()

After an internal battle with himself-weighing the pros and cons of getting involved-the raven beauty decided that it was bad enough that one person (meaning he himself) was unhappy during the holiday season but the idea Gingerbread boy was equally unhappy too-no that just would not do.

()()

Ichigo released a heavy defeated sigh when he entered the guest room.

It was over.

There was nothing left to do now but pack up his belongings and leave.

Hah! Pack right like he had anything to pack-he had arrived in a box.

And spent the rest of his time at the manor wearing the "wife's"-he couldn't even think the woman's name right now-bathrobe.

Brown eyes fell on the bed and rested on the faded dress shirt and loose fitted slacks-servants clothes-temporarily borrowed because Byakuya had insisted upon it.

Ichigo smiled bitterly. The damn uniform had been so uncomfortable-in fact he had hated wearing such a get up-but at the same time Byakuya had issued him the clothes.

Ichigo let out another sigh this one coming out with more of a dreamy sound and walked over to the bed and sat down.

Brushing his fingers against the itchy fabric of the dress shirt, lifting it up, pressing it to his nose, inhaled its scent. It was faint but most definitely there. Byakuya's scent. Well of course naturally since the nobleman had given his staff the week off things like laundry duty and ironing had been left up to Ichigo.

But since Ichigo was in fact Byakuya's "houseguest" and not the nobleman's servant he'd seen no harm in using Byakuya's special detergent-not that the raven beauty had been too happy with him about that either.

Ichigo laughed softly at the memory and then fell back on to the bed. Rangiku would come to collect him soon but he could spend the last few remaining hours day dreaming about the life he could have had with Byakuya.

()()

There was a sharp rapping sound at the door. Ichigo jumped up so quickly he nearly fell off the bed.

"I'm sorry if I startled you."

Byakuya's voice was soft-softer than Ichigo ever recalled hearing it. As much as he wanted to turn around (and boy did he want to!) the Gingerbread Boy could not bring him self to look at the nobleman.

He wasn't ready to say goodbye. Hadn't planned on saying goodbye. Figured it would be easier to just leave and never look back.

"You don't have to apologize, its your house do what you want."

"Hmm."

Even with his back turned, his head down Ichigo could hear the frown in Byakuya's tone-could tell the raven had more to say. He was both anxious and dreading the words.

Reasoned the nobleman was still probably quite angry about their previous night together.

Still-Ichigo didn't want to let on that he was affected in any way. He kept his tone casual, nonchalant, "So anyway you'll be relieved to know that I'm leaving in a few hours."

"Oh? Why the sudden-

He cut the nobleman off not wanting to drag things out any longer than necessary "Doesn't really matter does it?" A careless shrug (all part of the charade of course-couldn't be further from the truth because he did care and even though he shouldn't Ichigo still held on to the slim chance that Byakyuya might care as well-not that he'd voice this out loud!)

And since his back was still turned he missed the look of shock/disappointment passing over the nobleman's face.

Continued on "Point is I'll be out of your hair and you can well…forget you ever met me."

Ichigo felt sick. With each lie that slipped past his lips the more of challenge it became to keep his emotions in check.

"I don't think such a thing is possible."

Byakuya's tone was…different.

Ichigo couldn't decipher exact what kind of tone it was but it was different and unexpected?

He shook his head and mentally scolded himself. '_Don't even think of getting your hopes-its over dumbass-OVER!'_

"Where will you go?"

Not exactly the question he'd been expecting but-

"Home."

"The island floating in the sky, you mean?"

Ichigo expected to hear some sort of disbelief or mocking in the man's tone-it wasn't there.

Orange brows furrowed. _'Why does he care? Why should he care?'_

"I was under the impression that you were staying until the end of the holiday season." A moments pause "What changed?"

What changed? Oh if only the answer to such a question could be so simple. If only-Ichigo sighed and mentally scolded himself again-then continued his charade "Oh you know nothing really it's just-I've never been the type to stay in one place for too long, need a change of scenery."

Lies. Lies. All of it lies.

"Hmm." Another brief pause and then "Is that the only reason?"

Could it be-was it possible that maybe just maybe Byakuya was disappointed by the news/announcement of his departure?

Hope. Confusion. Hope. Doubt. Confusion.

More than anything right now Ichigo wished he could leap off the bed, cross over to the other side of the room and kiss Byakuya senseless.

But of course the Gingerbread Boy could not do such a thing.

"Ichigo I do not wish to continue our conversation with your back turned to me."

Ichigo hesitated a moment before turning to face Byakuya at last. He was a little alarmed to find that the nobleman was much closer than he originally thought the man to be.

Byakuya's face was as stone cold and unreadable as ever-at least at first glance.

Looking closer-the man looked uncharacteristically disheveled in appearance.

Ichigo could see faint stress lines in the nobleman's high-brow. Noted that the dark glossy locks had fly-aways and cow-licks-he didn't even think Byakuya was capable of having a bad hair day. In he took note of the un-knotted tie, un-tucked shirt and wrinkled slacks.

It was…kind of disturbing to see Byakuya looking so…

"Ichigo!"

"Hmm? What? Oh! Sorry I was-uh," Ichigo scratched the back of his head, "Can you repeat the question?"

It was faint-but most definitely there, amusement colored Byakuya's tone, silver-amethyst eyes sparkled, "You said you're leaving because you need a change of scenery and so I asked you if that was the only reason?"

()()

PART 2 WILL BE POSTED 1 WEEK FROM NOW. EVEN THOUGH I LOVE BYAKUYA HE'S A PAIN IN THE ASS TO TRY TO WRITE. GRRR. ARGHHH. GRINS.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE.

_~SLY~_


	19. GINGERBREAD BOY FINALE END!

**Disclaimer: Nothing cute or clever to write here this time. Kubo-sensei how I adore thee.**

Yes even though it took too freakin' long and I complained on and off this is not the last time I play with Byakuya and Ichigo…not even close. GRINS.

AU, OOC, implied mpreg, etc

_THANKS TO ALL WHO SUPPORT SLY AND THE CHAOTIC STYLE THAT SHE CALLS WRITING._

_**GINGERBREAD BOY**_

_**()()**_

"Hmm? What? Oh! Sorry I was-uh," Ichigo scratched the back of his head, "Can you repeat the question?"

It was faint-but most definitely there, amusement colored Byakuya's tone, silver-amethyst eyes sparkled, "You said you're leaving because you need a change of scenery and so I asked you if that was the only reason?"

Ichigo quickly realized it it had been a lot easier to lie when his back was turned to Byakuya but looking the man in the face-not so much.

Still he refused to crumble here. He had to be strong.

"Sure, yeah I mean what other reason would there be?"

"You're lying."

_**Thump. Thump. Pitter. Patter. Thump. Thump**_

'_**Damn it stupid heart stop making that noise'**_

"No I'm not!" Ichigo insisted.

Byakuya did not look impressed. His perfectly threaded brows narrowed into a straight line. "Please do not stand there and insult my intelligence. Your eyes are darting from left to right, your palms are clammy and your voice went up an octave higher just now."

Ichigo swallowed the invisible lump in his throat as Byakuya drew nearer and demanded

"Tell me the real reason."

Shit. Shit. The nobleman had seen right through him. Ichigo backed up hoping to distance himself from Byakuya…well no he didn't really wish to distance himself from the raven beauty it was more like he HAD to distance himself before he went and did something incredibly stupid (well incredibly stupidly wonderful in his opinion) but Ichigo doubted Byakuya would share his sentiments.

And so he kept up with his nonchalant act. "I don't know what else you expect me to tell you I mean-

Silver amethyst eyes searched his face. What exactly Byakuya was looking for? Ichigo didn't have a clue.

Byakuya's tone grew cold and detached, losing its previous warmth and light.

Ichigo shivered inwardly as Byakuya practically hissed out-

"Then that line about wishing to learn more about me? Thinking me an enigma of some sort, what was that exactly?"

When Ichigo didn't answer, Byakuya's lip curled into a sneer "Was it just a well practiced line you use on all the men you intend to seduce?"

Ichigo's cheeks burned hotly and he flinched feeling the bite as though the Kuchiki's words were harsh unforgivable pellets of hail.

He was not only hurt by Byakuya's comment/accusation he was also 100 percent fucking furious now!

Cinnamon and coffee browns hardened. How could this man-? How could this cool raven beauty be so unbelievably-?

So consumed with sudden rage as he was at this point. Ichigo could not even come up with a proper word or definition for Byakuya's behavior.

'_**Pompous Son of A Bitch!'**_

The Gingerbread boy bawled up his fist and sent the proud nobleman flying into the wall with a good solid punch.

It had nothing to with magical abilities or super human powers and strength. It was in Ichigo's blood. Passed on to him by his father. Usually he kept a tight reign on his strength power but everyone now and then…he released the demon with in. Byakuya had crossed the line.

()

Much to the Gingerbead boys' surprise (and silent relief) Byakuya hadn't been knocked into a state of unconsciousness.

Baring the large knot that was no doubt quickly forming on the back of his noggin and a split lip, the nobleman looked more or less unharmed.

He brushed his glossy dark locks back into place and slowly stood to his feet.

Byakuya lightly dabbed at his lower lip with his fingertip, studied the digit for a minute and then advanced towards Ichigo with purpose.

Ichigo braced himself for some sort of backlash be it verbal or physical or a combination of the two.

It never came.

Instead in an unexpected turn of events, Byakuya pressed his blood stained finger to Ichigo's mouth, amusement colored his tone as he cooly drawled out, "Clean up the mess you made, Ichigo."

Instinct? Habit? The silent command in silver amethyst orbs? All of the above?

Ichigo wasn't going to think too much on it. At the moment he decided to just take the unexpected (but totally welcome) move as an invitation and greedily enclosed his mouth around Byakuya's bloody finger, pervious anger now forgotten.

He licked and nibbled and sucked on Byakuya's finger much in the same manner he silently (or not so silently) wished to lick, nibble and suck a certain other part of Byakuya's body. Ichigo savored each and every minute-there was no telling how long it would last.

()

Byakuya knew from a logical standpoint that he should be livid and perhaps at another place, another time, a different year he would have been furious for being manhandled/assaulted in his own home. But he wasn't livid or even mildly upset because Ichigo had had every right to hit him. Not only had he nearly ripped the delectable Gingerboy in half on the previous night, he had also accused Ichigo of being well…a whore. And that was entirely out of line.

In fact the more Byakuya pondered over things, the more he came to realize how utterly unfair he'd been to his houseguest.

There was no turning back the clock. What had happened had happened. The only way to right his many wrongs was to move forward in a positive direction.

Despite his less than cheery disposition, Ichigo was apparently quite fond of him. Or at least highly attracted to him-so since it was the holidays and his time with the unique Gingebread boy was almost at its end, why not give the youth a farewell present?

Calmly, carefully Byakuya extracted his finger from Ichigo's mouth and as he did so, the nobleman did not miss the flash of disappointment/longing shining in brown depths even though the Gingerboy tried to cover it up with one of his cocky smirks and a playful quip of

"Clean enough for ya, Bykuya?"

Silver-amethyst eyes glittered. "The service you have just performed was passable," Byakuya let a smirk pull at his own lips, "But I think we both know that you can do much better."

Byakuya took a firm but gentle hold of the youth's chin and titled it upwards "Wouldn't you agree Ichigo?"

But the raven beauty wasn't really looking for a verbal response this time around.

No he wanted Ichigo to answer him with his body. Byakuya watched as the Gingerboy's Adams apple moved up and down as he swallowed another invisible lump-watched how the youth's cheeks went slightly pink as he continued his slow caress, letting his long pale fingers dance along natural peach toned skin that felt softer than the finest silk.

It was not the first time Byakuya took note of a the obvious lack of stubble-peculiar-very peculiar for even he had to wax his upper lip from time to time (not that he ever shared such information with a single soul-not even with beloved wife-it was his little secret to keep)

Byakuya frowned at the brief thought of Hisana and then pushed it into the back of his mind when he caught the sudden pained expression marring Ichigo's face.

He would have plenty of time to think about Hisana later. Plenty of time to figure out how to proceed with the official divorce that was a long time coming (he'd been putting it off)

For now, here in this time, this moment was about Ichigo. Giving the strangely alluring boy from another world a night to remember-correction a GOOD night to remember was the goal.

()

Byakuya's lip still felt a bit tender from the punch but he ignored his mild discomfort and kissed Ichigo with out restraint. And more importantly without regret.

()

It was the kind of kiss the best romances were made of-the kind of kiss Ichigo had dreamt about but never thought would happen to him.

Byakuya did not taste like cool peppermint sprinkles or warm vanilla chai tea like Ichigo had half expected.

The man did not taste like much of anything or at least not like anything Ichigo could define. But it did not matter. All that mattered was Byakuya was kissing him-long and deep and with purpose.

The nobleman's fingers did not once stray away from his face or neck. And that was just fine with Ichigo because he himself had taken hold of Byakuya's silky locks and simply couldn't get enough.

Neither male was hurried in his movements. There would not be an encore of last night. This time they would actually make it into a bed.

Ichigo couldn't help but smile.

()()

"_I can't believe you made me hang up on Nii-sama I mean really Hisa-nee don't you think the silence between you two has gone on long enough?"_

_Rukia set out a plate of scones and two cups of tea before sitting down to join her sister at the kitchen table._

"_You know it is more complicated than that Rukia."_

"_Yes but it doesn't have to be. You and Byakuya are both adults, don't you think its time to act like it?"_

_Hisana let out a pitiful groan and blew into her teacup. _

_Rukia shook her head. Sometimes her sister acted ridiculous. "You owe him at least that much."_

_Hisana shot the younger raven a pointed look, "What you really mean to say is I should just return to him, live out my life as a miserable obedient little housewife and embrace a marriage built on nothing but lies and deception?"_

"_The only one who was lying or being deceitful in your relationship was YOU Hisa-nee," Rukia paused so she could take a bite out her cherry scone. "I know why you did it but that doesn't make it right."_

_Deep ocean blues flashed angrily "You think I don't know that?" Hisana snapped out defensively "You honestly think I didn't kick myself each and every night when I would lie next to Byakuya in bed while thinking of another man?"_

_Rukia released a sigh. She wasn't trying to be cruel or judgmental but she did not agree with the way her sister behaved._

"_Then why did you let it continue on for so long? Why the games? Nii-sama may not be the most passionate man in the world but he worshiped the ground you walked on-no he STILL worships the ground you walk on even though you basically ripped out his heart and chewed it up and spit it out right back at him."_

_Still on the defense, Hisana slammed her teacup down and snapped out "I did not come here to be lectured. I came to you because I need your advice."_

_Rukia let out a humorless snort, "Advice on what?"_

_Anytime she tried to give her dearest sister advice in the past it just went in one ear and out the other anyway, so really why bother?_

_Hisana played with the thin silk cord around her neck, "A young man came to my house earlier in the day, said he had a message for me, told me that my "husband misses me terribly and that it was time for me to return home"._

_Rukia looked thoughtful for a moment. A young man? Hmm that could be just about anyone. "Did you recognize him?"_

_Hisana shook her head. "I'd never seen him until today but you are missing the point, Rukia."_

_A raised brow, "What point is that exactly?"_

_Honestly a part of Rukia didn't even care._

"_Don't you see? Byakuya has been spying on me! And obviously that young man was a private detective he hired to track me down."_

_Rukia bit back another snort. _

_Of all the ridiculous nonsensical things-Rukia shook her head._

"_Byakuya nii-sama would never invade on your privacy like that. Such behavior is beneath him-why just by suggesting such a thing, you deface his very character."_

_Hisana's ocean blues darkened and she fisted the tablecloth as though she wished to strangle something or someone just then "Why must you always speak of Byakuya as though he is some sort of divine being? Why must you always insist on defending him and yet you talk to me as if I were one of those dimwitted cheerleaders you dated in the past? Damn it Rukia I am your flesh and blood!"_

_Silver blues rolled towards the ceiling. Again with the blood thing? Really, Rukia didn't give two flying fucks about whether or not she was related to Byakuya by blood._

_In her eyes he was a wonderful imperfect semi-uptight man. Hell had she desired members of the male species rather than her own sex she would have swooped in and scooped up the nobleman ages ago._

_Her sister was truly A GRADE A IDIOT!_

"_Face it Rukia you only feel obligated to defend Byakuya because of my marriage to him. Once I have my lawyer finalize the official divorce papers you will no longer have any reason to-_

"_Will you-Do you even listen to how heartless and insensitive you sound right now?" Rukia took another bite out of her scone and washed it down with hot tea and continued, eyes now piercing daggers, "Sometimes I don't believe I know you."_

_Hisana rose from the table and stood to her full height, then glared down at her younger sister "I'm heartless and insensitive am I?" A nasty sneer marred her flawless features, "Let's see how heartless and insensitive you think I am once I go to grandfather and have him strip you of your inheritance."_

_Rukia's silver blues crackled with fire. She was not the least bit intimidated or worried. "Go ahead and do whatever will make you feel better," her lips curled into a triumphant smirk "It will only further prove my point."_

_()()_

Whether he'd been the one to pull Byakuya towards the bed or the Kuchiki had pushed him back on to the soft downing of the mattress, Ichigo could not say. He also did not care.

It didn't matter at this point which one of them had made the first move or called the shorts. So long as Byakuya continued to touch him, kiss him, hold him closely and never let go-Ichigo didn't have a single complaint in the world.

The Gingerbread Boy didn't even feel that typical sense of eagerness/impatience that he normally would have felt.

He felt perfectly content lying back in order to enjoy every lazy stroke, every soft and feathery light caress, every heated look, every slight gasp, low moan of delight, encouragement and approval.

()

Byakuya's long tapered ridiculously soft and deceptively strong hands moved across every part of Ichigo's body with total confidence.

The slight quirk on Byakuya's lips suggested that the best was yet to come. And as if to emphasize-the nobleman chose that exact moment to discard his black underwear and dragged his long and deliciously thick cock against Ichigo's heated flesh.

"Sometimes even naughty boys are entitled to an award."

Ichigo should have found Byakuya's line corny.

He should have fired back with a clever quip or two but found he could not because fact was, he was even more turned on now than he had been before.

Byakuya didn't need to say or so anything more. Ichigo curled his strong, well toned flexible legs around his raven beauty and pulled the man even closer and whispered,

"_I gladly accept."_

()()

The Empress of the Hour Glass wiped at her bloody nose and beamed with pride at the scene being played out in front of her eyes. She hadn't been invited.

Truthfully she was a little early. But that was only because Rangiku couldn't stand the sight of her strawberry gingerboy and his broken hearted expression.

She had fully intended to break one of her own rules and just let Ichigo return home.

But now? Well that was no longer necessary.

Everything had turned out just fine.

_()()_

_**EPILOGUE**_

_ICHIGO'S POV_

_**I know what you're thinking Byakuya and I lived happily ever after right?**_

_**Course but it wasn't without a few road blocks, smashed crockery and some healthy doses of "I'm sorry sex"**_

_**Since I don't like leaving things incomplete or on a bad note I'll give you a brief run-down of the events that followed.**_

_**()**_

_**I was in the midst of playing 'this little piggy went to the market' with Byakuya's toes inside the giant Jacuzzi in the master bathroom when there came a knock at the door.**_

_**A female voice followed this knock**_

"_**Byakuya nii-sama I know this probably isn't the best time but-**_

_**A fist pounding on the door drowned out the rest of Rukia's sentence.**_

_**Then came a second female voice **_

"_**Byakuya, its Hisana. There is something I wish to discuss with you but I refuse to continue this conversation with a door. Once you are dressed meet me down stairs."**_

_**I had a bad feeling shit was about to hit the holiday fan.**_

_**The wife had come home to take back what was hers.**_

_**My little happy paradise bubble burst. I should have known it was too good to be true.**_

_**I glanced up at Byakuya his face was unreadable. **_

"_**Now!"**_

_**It was not a request but a demand. I flinched when I felt Byakuya move to stand and turn away from me without so much as sending a reassuring smile or tilt of his elegant head. **_

_**He grabbed the towel hanging off the nearest wrack and tied it around his waist. Then he stepped out of the tub and into his imported moccasins (not caring in the least that his feet were still wet) turned the knob on the door and walked out.**_

_**I shivered and no it was not from the slight draft coming from the open door. I half felt like curling into a ball and bawling like a newborn baby but then I realized how stupid and pointless it would be to let my emotions take control over once more.**_

_**I needed to look at the bright side of things. **_

_**Byakuya was no longer mad at me. Byakuya was sad or at least disappointed to see me go (or at least this is what he had murmured to me during our not so little mating session. Ahem anyway I'd had my fun. **_

_**And so had Byakuya. It was time to move on. **_

_**At least that's what the plan should have been.**_

_**Stubborn to the core as I've always been I did not just continue to sit inside the Jacuzzi feeling sorry for myself. Instead I dunked my head in the water washing away any evidence of the few tears that had slipped out. **_

_**Then I stepped out of the tub, toweled off and grabbed the all too familiar periwinkle blue robe hanging on the back of the door, slipped it on and marched down the stairs.**_

_**I wasn't going to give up my raven beauty with out a fight!**_

_**()**_

_**As it turned out, fighting for Byakuya's love wasn't necessary.**_

_**()**_

_**The sound of a loud commotion led me into the grand living room. Byakuya and Hisana were arguing and Rukia played referee. Well then again I wouldn't really call what Byakuya did arguing but details, minor insignificant details…point is-**_

"_**Just admit that you sent someone to spy on me-that you were in fact spying on me all this time and I'll promise not to break this ugly vase over your head."**_

_**It didn't sound like an empty threat. The angry wife's eyes were so fierce and filled with rage that it almost seemed possible for a moment that Hisana might actually succeed in setting Byakuya on fire.**_

"_**Hisana please put that down before you hurt yourself and listen to what I am telling you."**_

"_**Yes listen to him Hisa-nee, right now you are acting ridiculous."**_

"_**Look into my eyes, ask me again if I am lying?"**_

"_**How do I know this isn't some sort of trick," paranoia colored Hisana's angry tone, "The two of you were conspiring against me all this time weren't you? Could not stand the fact that I was happy-that I'm better off with out you!"**_

_**Byakuya looked hurt by Hisana's words and a part of me really wanted to run over and hug him or hold him or shield him or something but to do so I would have had to reveal myself. **_

_**Wasn't the best of times to add fuel to the already roaring fire, so I stood off to the side hiding myself in the long curtains.**_

_**I think Rukia saw me but if she did she chose not to comment.**_

_**The "argument" between ex-lovers ensued and Rukia did her best to prevent Hisana from clawing Byakuya's eyes out.**_

_**Not that Byakuya couldn't have handled himself-it was more so a matter of-Byakuya could not/would not raise his hand to the woman he loved or any woman for that matter.**_

_**It just wasn't the kind of man Byakuya was.**_

"_**She's been going on like this for a good half and hour or so-hell maybe more-no matter what I say she won't stop. I'm so sorry you have to hear all this Nii-sama."**_

"_**It's alright Rukia. You needn't stick around any longer. As I recall you said you had plans to meet up with your friends at Bloom Square? If you go now I'm sure you can still meet the ladies for dessert."**_

_**Rukia looked torn. It did not seem like she wished to leave Byakuya with her half crazy sister but at the same time her silver-blues kept darting towards the doorway-to the exit.**_

"_**Are you sure I don't want you to think I don't c-**_

_**Byakuya nodded. "You've done all you can do Rukia. Our problem is not your problem to fix."**_

_**So reasonable. So controlled. So completely Byakuya. I could not stop myself from letting loose a dreamy sigh of sorts. I loved how Byakuya sounded so absolutely certain of himself.**_

_**Hisana spent a few minutes seething in silence while Byakuya and Rukia had a brother-sister heart to heart-well as much as a heart to heart as a Kuchiki is capable of having that is.**_

"_**Are you sure you'll be okay I mean-**_

"_**Rukia, I will sort things out with my wife, you just try to enjoy what is left of this day and we will talk tomorrow."**_

"_**But Nii-sama what about-**_

_**Byakuya silenced Rukia with a firm shake of his noble head, "I know you wished to drop by later this evening but given the circumstances I think it would be best if we postpone things for a few days."**_

_**Rukia looked like she wished to argue but thought better of it.**_

_**I wondered briefly, what Rukia and Byakuya were talking about then decided it didn't really matter since I'd probably find out all in good time.**_

_**With a small bow Rukia left and now it was just husband and wife facing off against each other in the grand living room.**_

_**()**_

_**Hisana still had not let go of her hold on the vase and it didn't look like she planned on doing so anytime soon.**_

_**Byakuya released a sigh and collapsed in the red leather armchair, buried his face between his hands and released a frustrated/strained sort of groan. **_

"_**I don't know what you expect of me Hisana." Then he lifted his head and looked back over at his wife, "At this point in time I do not know what I can say or do in order to put your mind at ease. Perhaps this is the reason things didn't work out between us? Instead of making you feel safe and secure in my arms you felt trapped-caged in like a bird."**_

" _**I was draining the life-the very spirit out of you-stripping away any joy you might have had with my own selfishness. I didn't give you the space you needed, room to breathe, time to think-not realizing until it was too late. The closer I pulled you towards me the more you drifted away."**_

"_**What are you babbling about you damned idiot? It wasn't a matter of feeling trapped or suffocated-well it may have started out that way but as ALWAYS you failed to see the bigger issue at hand, Byakuya," a bitter inelegant snort, "Something you and my dearest lil' sis share in common."**_

"_**I WAS happy with you in the beginning-thought myself to be the luckiest woman in the world. I enjoyed watching you tend and care for your little greenhouse. I enjoyed painting you while you slept, capturing the softer, vulnerable, more humane side of my beloved stoic beauty of a husband. I enjoyed meeting you're friends and colleagues, being welcomed into your family with open arms despite my social upbringing."**_

_**Hisana's face softened as she remembered the days of a happier, better time. I couldn't help but feel jealousy creep up in me. I almost felt like ripping the curtains down and stomping on them out of spite but knew it would be pointless.**_

"_**So yes Byakuya, the first few years with you were wonderful but by the time my 32**__**nd**__** birthday rolled around I realized it wasn't enough. I wanted more. I wanted to start a family with you."**_

_**I cringed at the words "starting a family" knowing exactly what the woman was referring to. I watched as her beautiful flawless features turned into something hideous once more.**_

" _**I wanted to carry your child-OUR child, had dreams about designing the nursery, picking out baby buggies, thinking of all the ways I could be a good mother, give my children OUR children all the things I never had. I thought in 10 or 15 years our son could be a star athlete on a national team or a genealogist? Thought how grand it would be if our daughter became a best selling author or a ballet dancer."**_

_**Hisana threw her hands up in the air, dropping the vase in the process. I watched with awe as Byakuya moved with lightning speed off the chair and over to his wife, pulling her out of harms way, paying no mind to the tiny glass shards cutting into his ankles and feet.**_

_**Not that Hisana cared or even properly expressed her gratitude-the ungrateful wretch! No the woman just continued on as though nothing had happened-as though Byakuya's feet weren't injured.**_

"_**I had dreams damn you!" she screamed "Dreams and hopes for the future OUR future!" Hisana started pounding on Byakuya's chest and angry tears streamed down her face-**_

"_**And instead of meeting me at the half way point, instead of spending every waking moment making love to me in our bed you closed yourself off in your office at work or buried your head in your damn garden!"**_

_**I was sure Hisana was probably exaggerating at least a little bit-had a hard time believing that MY raven beauty could be so selfish. I thought surely there was more to the story. Told myself there had to be more to it than that.**_

_**Byakuya must have at least considered Hisana's proposal at time or two. He must have at least entertained the idea of raising a few rugrats of his own right?**_

"_**Hisana I-**_

"_**I'm not finished yet!"**_

_**What a bitch! Honestly she barely let Byakuya get a word in edge wise-or hell even defend him self! What he saw in this woman I'd never understand. Okay I get that love can blind you at times but seriously?**_

"_**Little by little with each passing day and seemingly endless night I felt my heart breaking and yet I didn't want to give up on you-I didn't want to give up on us. I made all kinds of excuses-told myself you were just under a lot of stress but that things would improve-get better," a pause, "Then I realized how stupidly foolish my thinking was when not less than a month later you forgot our anniversary."**_

"_**Hisana I'm- Byakuya tried again but Hisana cut him off-**_

"_**I told you I am not finished!" she shrieked "So just shut up for once and listen to what I am trying to tell you!"**_

_**A part of me was really confused by Byakuya's behavior. He practically cowed down to this woman-regarded her with such love and patience and held her all during her rant…even though she damn sure didn't deserve it!**_

_**I realized right then and there at that moment that even if Byakuya decided to officially end things with his wife-even if he decided to be with me a part of his heart would always belong to this woman. **_

_**It both angered and saddened me but I wouldn't hold it against Byakuya. **_

_**Or at least I vowed to do my best not to hold it against him.**_

"_**I waited. I waited 6 and a half hours for you-downed 3 and half glasses of champagne by myself but you never showed-and to make matter worse you didn't even realize your mistake until 3 days later and by then…it was too late."**_

"_**I'm sorry Hisana, so truly sorry to have hurt you in so many ways. But you should have come to me back then instead of keeping everything bottled up inside you should have told me."**_

"_**What difference would it have made?" Hisana cried out brokenly, "We didn't want the same things and even if there was a small part of you that did in fact want the same you didn't want it right away. Your main focus in life was on your work-your goal was to extend your grandfather's business, you just didn't have time for me and you would have had even less time for OUR children."**_

"_**And so…you left me."**_

_**Byakuya's voice was so soft it was almost inaudible.**_

"_**No I didn't. Please don't make it sound so simple. It wasn't simple or easy. It was very hard for me to walk away from you on that day. I was ashamed. I'd failed you completely as a wife. I'd been unfaithful and though deep down in my heart I knew it was wrong, a part of me felt like you deserved it."**_

"_**I know."**_

"_**You know? You mean you knew?" Hisana lifted her head away from Byakuya's chest and looked up at him, a mixture of surprise/relief on her face.**_

_**Byakuya nodded slowly and then continued, "Each night you slipped into bed beside me I could smell the musk of another man's cologne, practically taste the tobacco on your delicate skin when I kissed your collarbone or nibbled lightly at your earlobe, even though you tried to mask it with your lavender body wash and-**_

_**Hisana cut Byakuya off, "Then why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you flip on the lamp and command me to tell you 'what the hell was going on?' Why didn't you roll me over and pin me down to the bed, rip off my panties and remind me and my body who it belonged to?"**_

_**My brown eyes blew open wide and my face burned hotly. Foolish me for thinking women only spoke so bluntly in romance novels or trash porny flicks. Not that I hadn't said or thought worse more perverse things but-**_

"_**Hisana I will not allow you to continue to say such crude and vile things about yourself. You are still my wife and more importantly some one I care very much about so I won't stand by and let you-**_

"_**But it's true! Don't you understand?"**_

"_**No! No it is not true. While you might have given your body and perhaps even your heart to another man in the end you always returned to me. In the end you always denied your own wants and needs and only thought of me."**_

_**Byakuya took hold of Hisana's chin just then, silently commanding that she look up into his eyes, much in the same fashion he had done so with me earlier-But no it was more-so much more.**_

_**Even though I was several feet-yards away from them I swear I could feel the love Byakuya carried for his wife and I felt my own heart and stomach clench and burn in a most painful way.**_

_**Why was I watching this? I should leave. Yes I should just revert back to my original plan and leave. **_

_**But I didn't leave. My feet would not move from there spot. My eyes would not drift from the sight of husband and wife embracing one another in a strong hold.**_

_**They stayed like that for an hour-possibly longer until Hisana finally pulled away. **_

_**Was it wrong of me to do a little victory dance in my head when Byakuya made no motion to pull her back towards him?**_

_**Probably but I didn't really care because I came to another realization at that moment-this wasn't a matter of a husband and a wife rekindling their lost connection once more-it was the official goodbye. Byakuya was letting Hisana go.**_

"_**I understand that it may take some time but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me one day."**_

_**Hisana's only response was brushing her lips against Byakuya's cheek. Then she turned away in order to collect her coat, hat and scarf. Byakuya, being the true gentleman he is, walked his wife (soon to be ex) to the door.**_

_**()**_

_**I heard the faint sound of heels clicking and the door being shut. Decided it was to come out from behind the curtains.**_

_**I jumped and let out a startled unmanly squawk when instead of finding myself in an empty room I found Byakuya standing right behind me.**_

"_**Ichigo," he murmured, "You know it is impolite to eavesdrop."**_

_**Byakuya was mildly miffed at best. **_

_**I grinned cheekily at him, "I'd say I'm sorry but we both know that would just be a lie."**_

_**There was a twinkle in his silver-amethyst irises, "Tell me what should I do about this bad habit of yours, hmm?"**_

_**I didn't really have an answer-didn't feel like wracking my brain long enough to think of one. Instead I decided to show Byakuya just how "oh so sorry" I was.**_

_**We hadn't finished our bath but I wasn't in any real hurry to go back up stairs anyway. I was still wearing the periwinkle blue bathrobe and Byakuya was still in a towel-a tiny towel. **_

_**I licked my lips and dropped down to my knees.**_

_**Pushed the itty bitty towel out of the way, gave Byakuya a moment to object/deny me-when he didn't I allowed myself another grin and then swiped my tongue over the head of his softened penis.**_

_**Though I knew with a few more swipes and a good amount of suction it wouldn't remain soft for long. Byakuya curled his fingers in my damp orange locks but never pulled or twisted like most men would have.**_

_**He was still trying his best to be gentle and sweet with me. I liked it well enough but-**_

"_**Sometimes naughty boys appreciate a good tug or two," my tone was teasing and playful.**_

_**It was a challenge. A playful challenge but still a challenge.**_

_**And it didn't take much for Byakuya to rise and meet said challenge head on.**_

_**Yes I DID just go there and you know you love it!**_

_**()**_

_**That only leaves two remaining questions.**_

_**Did I ever return to my home? And had I succeeded where Hisana had failed and conceived a child with my raven beauty?**_

_**The answer is "YES" to both questions.**_

_**I had to return home in order to give birth because humans on planet Earth hadn't yet grasped the concept of a male being able to get pregnant. And because the earthlings hadn't yet grasped such a concept-heck didn't even believe such a thing was possible-the doctors didn't have the right equipment/tools/etc to handle me.**_

_**So I returned home after I scribbled a note for Byakuya explaining what happened. Granted the letter I scrawled out didn't tell Byakuya much-only that I was leaving for awhile but that I would return in the fall.**_

_**I'm sure it wasn't easy for him-actually I take that back-I know for a fact that Byakuya hadn't appreciated being A) tricked and B) separated from me for 9 months.**_

_**Not that I would have had any objections to Byakuya tagging along for the ride but Rangiku's flying scooter only had two seats so-**_

_**And even if there had been room on the scooter I don't think Byakuya would have felt comfortable with leaving his own home for such a long period of time. So I went alone.**_

_**So yeah as I said Byakuya was not too thrilled me for just up and running-make that he was epically furious with me.**_

_**He eventually got over it though, once he saw our cute little bundle of joy. For the most part she looked just like him, all porcelain pale faced with silver-amethyst eyes, only unlike Byakuya, Anzu, that's what we decided to name her, wound up with orange hair like me.**_

"_**She'll be the first Kuchiki in history with light colored locks."**_

_**END**_

_**()()**_


	20. WHITE REINDEER AND HIS RELUCTANT SANTA

**Disclaimer: I still do not own BLEACH. Nothing has changed. It still belongs to Kubo-sensei and Kubo-sensei alone.**

A/N This isn't a very popular collection but then again none of my fics are all that popular…nevertheless since it is Christmas Eve it is high time I updated this collection.

Honestly I wanted this finished and posted a week before Christmas but…stuff happened and yeah.

Anyway this is a winter holiday fic that will be split into parts. Yes I know this is becoming a very bad habit of mine but I just don't have the same amount of time/energy to write as much these days. It's fast paced and probably chock-full of holes but I hope you enjoy it all the same! This ficlet is partially inspired by my own quirky imagination as well as conversations I've had with fellow BLEACH fans (_**thank you ladies!)**_

I'd like to dedicate this ficlet to a long time reader of mine: _**Hollow Ichigo-Ichigo**_

_**Warnings: AU, OOC-ness, spelling, grammar, punctuation, fast-paced, continuous uses of "whatever and anyways"…written from Shiro's viewpoint and Ichigo's viewpoint in first POV, GrimmxIchi is heavily featured in the beginning but SHIROxICHI **__**is **__**the final pairing, randomness, citrus-bits, holiday fun!**_

_**All right I've babbled enough let's get to it yeah?**_

_**()**_

_Shiro the White Reindeer and his Reluctant Santa Ichi._

_Part 1 out of 2_

_(SHIRO)_

**Who said a story has to have a beginnin'? Why is it necessary when the beginnin' is often filled with incredibly borin' details or depressin' events?**

**I say skip all the hum drum and just jump right in. They call me Shiro-no last name and honestly I prefer it this way. I'm a shape shifter. Not ya standard run o' mil shifter either. **

**There are only about 15 or so of my kind livin' and breathin' and walkin' among humans. The majority of shifters choose to stick to their animal form, which I'll admit has got its perks. **

**As a reindeer (specifically an albino one) not much is expected 'cept standin' round the field, forest or some other woodsy type land lookin' all regal and beautiful.**

**Perfectly blendin' in with the fresh fallin' snow. What's a winter holiday without a reindeer? And what's a reindeer with out Santa? Answer? Incomplete. On Edge. Horny twenty four freakin' seven. And that's why after countless days and nights 'steada waitin' round for a Santa to find me I set out in search of him.**

**Not just anyone would do either. Lucky for me it didn't take long as my Santa-to-be all but stumbled into my backyard. Okay, okay so that's not entirely accurate since I was actually comin' back from a late night run when I caught sight of somethin' movin' through the trees. I decided to investigate.**

**I hung back in the shadows. There was no need to get up close right away since I had a perfect view from where I was standin. Supernatural eyesight and well ya know the drill.**

**His back was to me and what a beautiful back it was. All smooth, peach toned with the most perfect dip to his spine. Much to my disappointment, his lower half was concealed by loose-fitted thermal pajama bottoms and his feet were bare and slightly paler than the rest of his body. (I figured they probably hadn't seen as much sun)**

**Sweeping thin, slightly pointed fingertips through spiky orange locks of hair, my Santa-to-be seemed to be contemplating about whether or not he should step in the magically charmed hot spring out in the middle of the forest. **

**As he crinkled his brow I couldn't help but conclude that yes he would make the most perfect Santa for me. **

**My glowing hose bobbed in agreement. That's right I said **_**hose**_** not nose! The famous Rudolph ain't got nothin' on yours truly let me tell ya.**

**He mighta guided Santa through a foggy night but I was gonna bring my Santa to paradise. Please him in a way that Rudy never could. Yeah I'm a pervert.**

**Ya might as well know it now.**

**I blame it on the human side of me although in all honesty I'm not entirely opposed to the possibility of taking my Santa-to-be for a ride in my animal form.**

**But I'd wait a couple of winters before attemptin' somethin' that kinky. The only question that remained now was what was he doing out here?**

**Ah well I wasn't going to ponder because to ponder meant to waste time-precious time.**

**A branch cracked beneath my hooves and I cursed lowly**. _'Shit._'

"Whose there?"

**I let out another low curse at my own error. Reindeer were supposed to be a lot more graceful than that. I'll blame it on my lust and leave it at that.**

"I know someone is out there so show yourself!"

**I shifted into my human form knowing I would better my chances at wooing my Santa-to-be and then stepped out of the brush.** "Hi-yo!"

"Gahhh!"

**My Santa let out a startled scream and almost fell into the hot spring but managed to catch his balance in the last minute.** _(Too bad I woulda liked to play hero and rescue him from drownin' but ah well_.)

**The vein above my pierced brow twitched. Not exactly the reaction I'd been hopin' for but I guess even in my human form my appearance is a bit freaky. Baring the light dustin' of pink 'round my cheekbones** (_and the glowing manhood I previously mentioned) _**my skin is void of color well unless white was considered a color. I guess to some it was but…well whatever.**

**Anyway back to what I was sayin. My hair, skin and teeth gleam and glitter brighter than the stars in the sky and the snow blanketing the grounds. I have the body type of a surfer or swimmer even though I've never even been near an ocean. And the most striking feature about me is my eyes, the irises molten gold, the sclera charcoal black. I painted both finger and toe nails to match.**

**Yes I like polish! Just a lil' fun fact I'll reveal about myself.**

"I'm Shiro but please don't let my appearance stop ya from enjoyin' your lil' late night dip."

**Matching orange brows shot so far up into my Santa's hairline just then they practically disappeared. Then his face turned red and he scowled the fiercest scowl I'd ever seen in my 20 plus decades of livin'. And that's sayin' somethin'.**

"I don't know who you are or for that matter _what_ you are but go take your perverted tendencies elsewhere. I came out here to think and I do my best thinking _alone."_

**There was a brilliant fire shinin' in the depths of his cinnamon-coffee colored gaze and I was stunned, enchanted and turned on all at once. **

**I couldn't wait to see what other expressions I could pull out of him.**

**Not what I'd been expectin'. Not in the least. I'd been expectin' more blushin'. I thought my Santa-to-be would dive head first in the hot spring simply so he could avoid my gaze or run back to whatever little log cabin he'd come from.**

**Instead he only glared and cracked his knuckles.**

'_Heh, is he looking for a fight?'_

**Interestin' but I wasn't in the mood. I decided to humor my Santa-to-be though, let him believe that his fierce scowl was every bit as intimidating as he thought it was. Let him believe he was every bit the badass he was tryin' to be.**

"Tell ya what give me a name and I'll leave ya be."

**My Santa cocked his head to side. Seemed he wasn't quite sure what to make of me or my words. And then with much reluctance he mumbled, **"It's Ichigo."

'_Ichigo huh?'_

**Gotta admit I liked the sound of it. Liked it even more when it rolled off my own tongue. **"Then I'll call ya "Santa Ichi" or "Ichi" for short," **I licked my lips and leered at him**, "_Dependin_' upon the mood of course."

"What? What the hell are you talking about?!"

**Ah! There it was! The beautiful heat that only my Santa could possess. **

**Part of me wanted to skip all the pleasantries and just throw Ichi into the hot spring and hump him straight into next season but I managed to keep my glowing hose at bay.**

**Kept my tone casual and light, **"I'm a shape shifter, albino reindeer to be exact and I'm in need of a Santa." **I took a step towards Ichi and continued**, "And as it turns out, ya are the perfect candidate."

**Technically Ichi was the **_**only**_** candidate but humans were simpleminded at times and it was best to keep things as uncomplicated as possible.**

**Santa-Ichi's brows creased in confusion. **"What? Wait a minute I mean I know I might've overdone it on the spiked nog tonight but I'm not that far gone that I would actually believe something so incredibly farfetched!"

**The scowl on his face deepened and then he snarled out an accusatory,** "Shinji and Nnoi put you up to this didn't they?" **A humorless snort**, "Idiots! Did those guys really think I would fall for something so-!" **Another humorless snort and then my Santa-Ichi turned away from me and shouted out into the darkness. **"Shinji! Nnoitra! Cut the crap already I know you guys are there. So come on out so I can properly kick both of your asses!"

**No answer. No response. Of course no one else was out here except my Santa and I. I sighed. Seemed no matter what I said Ichi wasn't convinced.**

"_Listen _to me!**" I hissed in his ear and resisted the urge to forcibly turn him back around**, "This isn't the some dream or some prank or the result of one too many glasses of spiked eggnog Santa-Ichi."

A snort. "Oh really?" **He turned back to me and held his hands by his hips looking every bit like an angry housewife. I ignored the urge to pounce though I really wanted to. **"Then what the hell is _this_?!"

**I grinned at my Santa.** "This is what many would call destiny."

**Ichi raised a brow and his voice was now colored with complete sarcasm.** "_Riiight _and the next thing you'll be telling me is you can fly or some such shit, right?" **He turned his nose up and sniffed**, "Listen buddy even if my friends didn't send you out here to spy on me you've clearly had _one_ too many drinks yourself if you think you are an actual reindeer."

**My Santa-to-be placed his hand upon my shoulder just then and I was surprised by how much I liked it there but didn't bother commenting as he continued,** "So why don't you save us both any further embarrassment and head back on your magic sleigh and leave me to think in peace."

**It was a damn good thing I was so attracted to Ichi because I didn't appreciate being mocked and if it had been anyone else talking to me like that well…let's just say the lil' bastard would think twice before doing so again. **

**But since it was my Santa-Ichi I let it slide since after all my story did sound rather ridiculous. Not that it had been much of a story at all but-**

"Look Ichi I don't really care whether or not you believe me. Just prepare ya self as much as possible 'cuz come Christmas I'm comin' for ya and make no mistake you will become my Santa."

()()

(ICHIGO)

"_**You will be come my Santa."**_

"_**Become my Santa."**_

"_**Santa."**_

_Santa? His Santa?! What the hell had that guy-that shifter or whatever been talking about? I mean I'm no expert but last time I checked Jolly Old St. Nick was a fat man who came around once a year to bring joy to all the girls and boys across the world. Granted there were many versions of Santa Claus but still I couldn't be the furthest thing from Kris Kringle._

_I was 19. I didn't have a single ounce of body fat on me and the whole thing just hadn't made any damn sense!_

_If the strange golden-eyed shifter hadn't been so freakishly good looking I wouldn't even be thinking about this right now. I wouldn't be lying awake staring up at the ceiling of a rented cabin wondering where he had come from, when he would return and if such things a shape shifting reindeers really existed?_

_But I couldn't help it Shiro had been so freakishly good looking and-no scratch that! Good looking wasn't a strong word to describe what I had seen out in the forest. _

_Shiro hadn't just been good-looking he had been sinfully hot and exotic and from a certain angle it had almost felt as though I'd been staring into a mirror. (Our body types lithe yet strong, our gazes soulful yet piercing, our skin heated yet cool._

_Gah! That skin. His skin. Shiro's skin a complete contrast to my own. Powder white, softer than silk and twice as pretty. He was like a better sexier version of myself. And no I am not a narcissist! Because even though Shiro and I had so many similarities in our physical make up there was still a great deal of differences between us._

_Who knows what might have happened if he stuck around? I shifted around on the bed now turning on my side and tried to make sense of my strange but exciting encounter just a few short hours ago. _

_Look at things from a logical standpoint not that there was a great deal of logic about being propositioned? Being hit on by a guy claiming to be a member of the supernatural._

_What were the odds? My mother always said there were things in life that couldn't be explained-had always told me that there was more than one world-one universe-many different types of species and other life forms._

_But that-I mean she only said those things to entertain me right? It's what every mother told their child wasn't it? Exciting tales about mythical and mystical creatures?_

_There couldn't be actual shape shifters walking among my kind, could there?_

_I flipped over on to my other side not able to settle down. My mind was racing with thoughts-running on hyper drive. I scowled into the darkness and decided that I needed to do something to take the edge off._

_That's right! I still had a fair bit of alcohol in my system so naturally I was wired and horny as fuck. It was my own damn fault. I hadn't given myself a good wank in days._

_Well no use in crying over spilled milk as they say (mmm milk I wondered if Shiro tasted like-_

_A loud snore less than a foot away from my bed pulled me from my thoughts. I looked over and allowed myself to smile at the sight of the figure in the other bed._

_Once again my best friend had gone to sleep with one boot on and one boot off and hadn't even bothered to cover himself properly-the blankets were bunched around his waist and his pillow was half off the bed._

_I sighed wishing said best friend was so much more than that. But Grimmjow wouldn't budge. Claimed he saw me as more of a brother figure than anything else. _

_()_

_(I once got him to admit that at the very least I was visually appealing but when I moved in to kiss him he pushed me away and growled out._

'_**No! We're not going there Kurosaki! You're the one good thing I got in my life and I'm not gonna let the cursed thing called hormones fuck it up.')**_

_**()**_

_I released another sigh (this time at the bitter memory) and then quietly climbed down from my own bed so I could go over and tuck Grimmjow in properly._

_I resisted the urge to touch his electric blue locks of hair (my favorite feature on my best friend) but couldn't quite stop myself from lightly brushing my finger along his perfectly chiseled jaw._

_That's where I made a mistake._

_A blue eye slid open and sleep colored Grimmjow's growling accusatory tone,__** "What the hell do you think you're doing Ichigo?"**__ I instantly retracted my hand and instead of flinching I chose to focus on the sound of my first name passing his coffee-stained lips. 'Ichigo' he only called me this when he was half asleep or he needed to get a point across. The rest of the time he called me 'Kurosaki.'_

"_**I know you heard me, what the hell were you doin' just now, Ichigo?"**_

_I smiled up at Grimmjow like a fool in love and replied, __**"Oh nothing really just thinking about how much it sucks that I'll never be able to feel your tongue in my mouth or your hands on my skin."**_

**Grimmjow's other eye slid open and he released a half grunt/groan before rolling over and sitting up**._**"Fucking A! Damn it Kurosaki! You keep sayin' that kind of shit and we're gonna have us some real problems."**_

_I wasn't going to apologize for feeling the way I felt. __**"It wouldn't be a problem if you would just-**_

_Grimmjow cut me off__**.**__**"And still you won't let it drop?"**__ He glared at me but it only made me want my best friend that much more. Pathetic I know. But there was nothing I could do about it._

"_**I never will. So deal with it!"**_

_Grimmjow snorted and turned away from me __**(not long mind you**__) so he could retrieve his pack of cigarettes and lighter from the nightstand. He placed one of the sin sticks between his lips and lit it. __**"You and me, don't you get that us hooking up would be nothing but a colossal mistake!"**_

_Colossal? I didn't think so. I thought we'd be perfect for each other or well…as perfect as two hot-blooded males could be that is._

_I didn't have the energy to roll my eyes or I would have. _

_Grimmjow had given me this same speech countless times over and even though it burned (being rejected again and again) it didn't change how I felt about my best friend. _

_Not that I haven't tried to move on and get over him (mind you) but still-_

"_**Just once. That's all I'm asking and then I'll never bring it up again."**_

_We both knew this was a lie of course but its hard to change a tigers stripe as the saying goes._

"_**Damn you**__." He muttered lowly and pushed rebellious blue bangs out of his face. I could tell by the way Grimmjow started to chain smoke and gnaw on the inside of his cheek at the same time that he was irritated by me and the situation all together. He probably had a headache too. Wouldn't be surprised in the least. I tended to give him headaches quite frequently. _

"_**Yes damn me. Damn me and my stupid feelings. Damn my entire existence if it makes you feel better but it still won't change facts. And fact is I want you."**_

"_**Heh, don't I know it?" **__He blew several puffs of smoke and then fell silent._

_It had become a routine. Grimmjow and Me. I knew the next words out of his mouth would be…_

"_**Look even if I tried my best not to somehow or some way I'd still fuck things up and you would grow to hate me so much you wouldn't even be able to look at me."**_

_Don't get it wrong! It's not that my best friend wasn't confident in his own skills or secure in his own skin because he was. It was…it was complicated. He was complicated. _

"_**Never gonna happen. Look even if you decide to settle down with some chick or shack up with some twink I could never hate you Grimmjow. Sure I'd be pissed at first but I'd get over it. Because when it's all said and done your happiness if more important to me than my own happiness."**_

_This was the truth. Above all else I only wanted the best for my best friend._

_Grimmjow winced as if he were in pain. He probably was. But I wasn't going to apologize for that either._

_His blue eyes locked on to my brown ones and I felt with this singular stare that he was piercing my very soul but again I'm a fool in love so it was only natural that I'd start thinking such poetic thoughts._

_Grimmjow stubbed out his cigarette into the dresser and blew his rebellious bangs out of his face. __**"Alright, fine. This night and this night only I'll give you the one thing you've been dreaming about since you hit puberty."**_

_**I blushed fiercely and smacked Grimmjow on his well- muscled arm. Bastard could never let it drop. The fact that we were a year and a month apart and I had been a late bloomer.**__ "I wasn't __that __pathetic."_

_Grimmjow chuckled a rich growling type of chuckle. I often joked that my best friend was part jungle cat or something. __**"Yeah you were but its not really your fault since you grew up in a house full of women."**_

_I bristled and punched him in the arm once more.__** "Whatever that was a long time ago. It's in the past this is the present and here and now I know exactly what I want so shut up and give me my present!"**_

_Grimmjow shook his head.__** "No, not yet. First we have to go over a few guide lines."**_

"_Guide lines? Like what promises not to touch each other below the belt? Promise to not fall even harder for you? Pfft! Fat chance of that happening Grimmjow! We both know its too late so just hurry up and give it to me!" I shifted my hips forward and made a move to pull down my pants only to be stilled. Grimmjow shook his head again._

"_**No I'm not gonna fuck you Kurosaki."**_

_I got right into his face and snarled and hissed like an angry hell cat, __**"What do you mean you're not gonna fuck me?! We both know at this stage I'm not gonna lie back and settle for some sloppy second rate hand job."**_

_Grimmjow knocked his fist into my jaw. Seemed he didn't think much of my snarky tone. "__**Now you listen here Ichigo**__," he held up 2 fingers and counted down, "__**One nothing I do is **__**ever **__**sloppy or second rate and two I never said that it was just gonna be a simple hand job so shut up and say thank you."**_

"_**Idiot**__," I chided, my tone taking on a teasing and playful sort of lilt as I mirrored his earlier action and knocked my fist into his jaw, "__**I can hardly shut up and say thank you at the same time so stop contradicting yourself, Grimmjow."**_

_Grimmjow narrowed his electric blues. "Don't get smart with me Ichigo, just get over here and accept your gift."_

_By gift my best friend was quite obviously referring to the delicious package hidden inside his pajamas. Wouldn't stay hidden for long if I had any say in it. And I would._

_()_

_I wasted little to no time in burying my nose in his crotch inhaling the natural masculine musk that was purely and uniquely Grimmjow. I couldn't wait to wrap my mouth around his length, feel his big hard cock move and dance down my throat. I nearly blacked out from the mental image I painted for myself just then._

_I couldn't believe after all the time that had passed it was finally happening. Not the full nine but a memorable moment nonetheless. I would cherish this night always._

_I was panting and moaning like a slut in a porno but I didn't care. I felt fingers curl and pull at my hair, then his lips hovered near my ear without actually touching, __**"Easy now, I haven't finished going over the rules yet."**_

_Rules? Fuck the rules! I glared up at Grimmjow giving him a 'you can't be serious?' type of look._

"_**I'm dead serious Ichigo. We need to take proper precautions before things escalate further."**_

_At any other place in time I would mockingly congratulate my friend on his sudden extensive use of vocabulary but now wasn't the time. Now I was horny and nothing else mattered but taking care of primal needs._

"_**What the hell? Who cares about shit like that at a time like this?"**__ I rubbed my thighs together hating that I was still wearing my pajama bottoms when all I really wanted to do was rub up against Grimmjow and-_

"_**ICHIGO!"**__ He growled and yanked at my hair._

_I hissed and snarled back, __**"What?"**_

_The fingers curled deeper in my hair and Grimmjow pulled hard enough to make me wince._

"_**I'm not gonna let this go any further if you continue being stubborn."**_

_Was he fucking for real?_

"_**Idiot! This isn't me being stubborn this is me being horny**__." His eyes flashed warningly but I pressed on, the fire in my own eyes rising to the surface, "__**You should just be grateful that I don't wrestle you down to the mattress and impale myself on your cock!"**_

"_**You-!"**_

_**And that was it. Grimmjow couldn't seem to formulate a proper sentence after that. Couldn't seem to find the strength to protest or argue with me.**_

_**I would have grinned in triumph except suddenly…my mouth was too filled with his cock to do so.**_

_This was a good thing though and I did do a celebratory dance in my head. I was so fucking ecstatic that after all the constant pushing and shoving I finally…finally got my best friend to cave. I got Grimmjow to stop worrying and just-_

"_Ngggh yesss right there, so fucking good."_

_And it was good. Not that I didn't fumble and nearly choke quite a few times because I did. But only in the beginning._

_But both of us were too far gone to give a shit or maybe my best friend was just being polite. I didn't know. Or really care because once I got the hang of things-developed a rhythm it was pure bliss._

_Warm sticky cum coated the back of my throat and burned in the most perfect way. Through my lusty haze I looked up at Grimmjow and felt my heart and masculine pride swell at the sight of him. Sure he tried to play it cool-gnawing on the inside of his cheek-hissing between his teeth-blue eyes blown wide practically rolling into the back of his skull-one could hardly blame me for shooting off my own load at the exact same moment._

_And in the back of my mind I knew that come morning things would probably be a little weird but I rather not think about that right now especially since Grimmjow's hands were finally…finally moving out of my hair and on to my flushed and heated skin. _

_A definite signal that the next round was about to begin. _

_()_

_(SHIRO)_

**I've never been much of a voyeur. Had no interest in watchin' others hump each other into oblivion. **

**But once I'd come across such a scene it was difficult to turn away. I had no one to blame but myself. Didn't plan it, followin' Santa-Ichi back to his cabin was a whim honest it was. I just wanted to take a lil' peek.**

**I had no idea I'd find my Santa getting it on with some blunet with a perfect six-pack and a feral grin. I should have been concerned, jealous, outraged! But I was none of these things. Those were petty humans emotions and I was above such things. **

**Shape shifters didn't do jealous and as for being concerned or outraged? Well that would have just been stupid and pointless 'cuz ya see even though my Santa-Ichi was cozying up to the blunet-even though the two were getting well acquainted with each other's bodies I noted that no lip or tongue action had taken place (blow jobs didn't count!)**

**I was bothered by this although for the life of me I didn't know why. It just didn't make any damn sense to me though. If the blunet was Ichi's lover shouldn't he want to kiss my Santa breathless (senseless?) Shouldn't he want to suckle Ichi's full bottom lip? Shouldn't he want to devour every single inch of my Santa-Ichi?**

**And what was up with that expression on his face? It wasn't one of love. It was…the hell? It looked like a mixture of lust, pity, and regret. Pissed me off!**

**Yeah pissed I said it so scratch what I said a few minutes prior 'cuz as it turns out I do feel some human emotions.**

**I had half a mind to climb through the window and strangle the big blunet. No stranglin' him by his neck wouldn't be nearly good enough. I wanted to rip out his insides and string em' up like pretty garland on the mantle.**

**How dare he use my Santa-Ichi in this way? How dare this bastard touch Ichi without loving him! Did he really think he was that fuckin' special? Did he think he was some how better than my Santa-Ichi? What, had this bastard simply been bored and horny and decided that Ichi my Santa-Ichi was a convenient hole for him to plow?**

**Couldn't he see how he was hurting my Santa?**

**Couldn't he see how he was tearin' my Ichi up from the inside out? Was he really that damn oblivious to Ichi's feelings when I could feel/sense it through the glass of the window?**

**How could he be so evil? How could this guy continue to touch my Santa-Ichi when he wasn't even fully into 'em?**

**()**

**Watching Ichi now, bent like a lovely human pretzel, his hardened nipples rubbin' against the fabric of the sheets (least I assumed they were rough) his delectable lil' ass twitchin' from just a few fingers-his perfect peach-rose colored hole suckling the digits in greedily-his mouth moving-silently cryin' out for more-beggin' to be filled to the brim.**

**I let out a violent string of curses both directed at the damn blunet and myself.**

**Why the fuck was I watchin' this shit? Why the hell was I lettin' this happen? My Santa-Ichi needed proper release and if this big lug was too arrogant or insecure or whatever to give it to him then I should take over.**

**That's what I wanted right? That was my main purpose for seekin' my Santa out wasn't it? I needed a Santa to satiate my hunger. I needed Ichi and it was becoming increasingly crystal clear that Ichi needed me. He just didn't know it yet.**

**At last I looked away and leapt down from the windowsill. I needed to brainstorm. To plot. To plan. Figure out where to go from here. I also needed to shoot off about 20 or so loads of cum but that could wait. It would have to wait.**

**I told my Santa-Ichi I would come for him on the 25****th**** and that he should prepare himself-that our meeting was destiny. Half of my speech-actually more than half had been complete bullshit. Whatever. Now that I'd seen my Santa in such a way-all raw and exposed and vulnerable I realized a simple seduction wouldn't be enough.**

**I would need to win Ichi's heart. I would need to make him forget all about the selfish blunet bastard he was head over ass for. I would need to get close to my Santa, earn his trust and get him to see that the blunet was no good for him.**

**It would take time. And while I technically had plenty of it I wasn't the most patient of shifters and so I would have to speed things along.**

**I would have to get close to Santa Ichi-his family or at the very least his friends. I would find the ones he had called Shinji and Nnoi. Somethin' told me I wouldn't have to search very far-that the two were most likely staying in the cabin with him. **

**And as for the blunet? Well I'd make the bastard pay!**

**Dawn was fast approachin' and supernatural or not I needed my beauty sleep. Time to catch some Zzzz's but when I next woke it would be show time!**

**()()**

**TO BE CONCLUDED**

**THANK YOU FOR READING! HOPE TO SEE YOU NEXT TIME!**

**~SLY~**


	21. WHITE REINDEER CONCLUSION

**Disclaimer: I recently had a dream about champagne bottles and a certain berry and yeah…I'll leave the rest to your imaginations. Happy New Year! I am not Kubo-sensei! I own ZERO!**

**Warnings: AU, OOC-ness, loose-plot, Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation, citrus, view-point switching, slight non-graphic beastiality (because yeah Shiro is a shape-shifting reindeer after all so…yeah I kinda had to go there…) **

**A/N I'm too big of a Grimmjow fan to make him a total unfeeling asshole…so yeah. **

_**otakuichigo, Orion'slover and Voluptuous**_ thank you for dropping reviews and being honest in your enthusiasm to see future projects from me…GRINS.

_~SLY~_

**Now then on to the conclusion….**

()()

Shiro the White Reindeer and His Reluctant Santa Ichi

2/2

(ICHIGO)

The dreaded morning after is far worse than I could have imagined. My thighs are sticky, my ass so damn sore that the thought of moving from my current position seems like a really _**bad**_ idea right now.

But that's not the worst of it-oh no the worst part about this morning is the fact that Grimmjow is refusing to speak to let alone even look at me.

I try not to gawk at the sight of his naked back as he pushes off the covers and moves to stand.

But I am gawking I'm sure of it because how could I not? His back is like the most beautiful piece of sculpted marble littered with thin red scratches-evidence of our coupling. A sure sign of the possessive hold I had on him. I feel my face grow warm and yet the urge to lick the scratches rises up in me. It's strong but I manage (_barely)_ to resist.

The sound of a zipper being pulled up draws my attention to his lower half- Even in its now softened state there is no mistaking his magnum for a pistol.

I suck in a harsh breath hardly believing I tasted him. I want to taste him again. I want to feel him again.

He disappears for a second to retrieve something from the bathroom. I don't dare look over and see what he's up to.

And then in the next moment my best friend is back in the bedroom lacing up his _PUMA's_ and heading for the door.

As a fool in love I want to call after him but I know its pointless and stupid and will only make things worse.

So instead I fall back on the bed and bury my nose in his scent. And since it's his bed, Grimmjow's scent is everywhere.

()

It takes a good half hour before I manage to drag myself out of his bed and into the shower. Under the hot spray I foolishly replay the previous night again, touching myself in all the places Grimmjow's fingers had been and all the places he refused to touch.

How I longed for his kiss, wanted to feel his winter-chapped lips moving against my own. I wanted to taste the nicotine and salt-water taffy on his tongue, the roof and corners of his mouth.

But I was denied because my best friend was a bastard-a bastard who loved to torture me and yet I couldn't stop loving him. I hissed and cursed as I accidentally bit into my own tongue just then-tasting blood I spat it down the drain and pressed my forehead into the wall.

Let the tears fall freely. I did not sob or wail I was silent in my broken-hearted misery.

I curled my fists quite sure that I would have used the wall as a target practice if a sharp rapping sound at the door hadn't pulled me from my pathetic state.

"**Oi Ichigo! You're gonna turn into sum' kinda prune if you stay in there."**

It was my friend Shinji although half the time I wondered why I hung around the guy especially since he got on my nerves quite easily.

"**I'll be out in a few minutes Hirako, so get off my nads!"**

()

If you slept with your best friend the night before you don't bring it up the next day-_YOU JUST DON'T!_

And you definitely do not EVER replay the moment when you and your best friend both climaxed and you had nowhere to fall but into his arms or on to his chest over and over and over and over. YOU JUST DON'T!

And yet despite knowing all of this I find myself doing exactly that, sighing wistfully like a lovesick idiot as I stuff my face with _French Toast_ and _Lucky Charms_. It wouldn't be a problem if I was alone with my thoughts but I'm not.

I'm sitting at the breakfast table inside a rented cabin with my friends.

Grimmjow still hasn't returned and in all honesty I'm not sure he will. This makes me feel even worse about my situation but I suppose I got no one to blame but myself. Not like I wasn't warned. Still…

"**So Ichigo, care to tell us what you and Grimm were up to late last night?" **Nnoitra's tone is almost casual as he asks the question and stirs his blacker than black coffee with a spoon. I honestly don't know how he can stomach it but his family did originate from Columbia so maybe it's in his blood.

Playing clueless-lying is just about the worst thing I can do and yet I do it anyway.

"**What are you talking about? Nothing happened."**

Nnoitra rests one of his long spindly legs on top of the table and pins me with a stare. He's one of those rare people with two different colored eyes. His orchid colored orb is so bright it's almost like an ultra violet laser beam. Though I'm used to it I still can't help but flinch a bit. This only amuses him.

"_**Liar, Liar."**_

I curse and groan not knowing how Nnoitra figured it out but knowing that he did and now there's no way I can get out of this. Still doesn't stop me from trying. "I'm not lying what makes you think I'm _lying_."

Nnoitra leans across the table and points a finger at me, **"Because ya're a shitty liar Ichigo. Always have been."**

I look away from him only to be pinned by a different pair of eyes. Shinji has apparently abandoned his morning paper in order to focus on something far more interesting "me"-please note the sarcasm in my voice.

"**Pretendin' might work on the idiots back at school but you dun' fool me or Nnoi for a second."**

Silent words pass between the two of them and then twin piano style grins stretch across their faces and they chime in unison, _**"Hurry up and spill!"**_

()

(SHIRO)

**I always go to sleep and wake up in my animal form so as not to draw any unwanted attention from humans. **

**Even so I'm not foolish 'nough to think I'm one hundred percent safe 'specially with the odd hunter or two roamin' the area but I figure I can do a significant amount of more damage with my antlers than my bare hands should a human be dumb enough to try and approach or sneak up on me. **

**And bein' a shifter my speed is ten times that of a normal reindeer so with this in mind I take my time bathin' in the charmed hot spring. Making sure every one of my hooves is squeaky clean. I have to look my absolute best 'cuz I'm 'bout to visit my Santa Ichi.**

**I still in my movements as the sound of hurried footsteps reach my ears. It sounds a lot like some one is runnin'-my golden eyes pierce through the hot steam and a moment later a figure comes into view. **

**It is a human male and he is still a good distance away so I can't make out any fine details. A hood is over his head so that doesn't really help matters either.**

**Still…it grabs my attention and so I abandon my bath and jump out of the spring and head for the human.**

**()**

**Highly amused when I discover that the guy is none other than the big blunet who sexed up my Santa just 8 short hours ago. I watch him for a few minutes admittin' that in the mornin' light he is pretty easy on the eyes. **

**Sleeve-less hoodie unzipped, beads of sweat drip from his hair, face and neck and on to his well-muscled chest. **

**I'd pro'bly be turned on if I didn't want to kick his ass!**

**He must think he's some real hot shit runnin' through the forest-MY forest half naked. **

**But actually he's just a freakin' idiot-bastard'll probably catch a cold and worry my Santa-Ichi half to death.**

**I know what I have to do and so I do it. I continue chargin' towards the arrogant blunet with the intent to scare-the intent to maim but not kill (**_if I really wanted to-if this fucker didn't mean somethin' to my Ichi he'd already be dead!) 'course bein' a measly human, the big lug doesn't know any of this.)_

_**His hood falls down, blue eyes widen and his face visibly pales. I grin**__ (which in all honesty woulda been more effective if I was in my 2 footed form_**) and continue chargin'. **

**He grows completely still and the only indication that he's still alive is the rise and fall of his chest. It is then when I take note of the crescent shaped moons scattered across the rigid and ripplin' planes of his body. **

**I identify the red marks right away as nails-human nails-gotta be my Santa-Ichi's nails. A stamp. A claim. A symbol of his attachment towards this idiot.**

**The visual reminder of what I already know boils my blood like hot lava and so I quickly close the distance. **

**()**

**The human's back is now back up against the tree and I think how oh so fittin'-so perfect-so easy it would be to skewer him with my antlers. Leave this bastard a bloody, unrecognizable mess for some poor soul to find.**

**Cinnamon-coffee eyes flash before my vision and I realize that even if I want to gut this piece of shit I can't 'cuz it would hurt my Santa-Ichi. **

**For whatever reason I have yet to learn my Ichi has given a piece of his heart to this blunet and I have to respect this-'least to a certain point.**

**As I consider my options the minutes tick by and I notice that the fear in electric blue depths is no longer present and the human's heart is slowly returnin' to its normal steady thump, thump, thump.**

**He still hasn't said a single word 'course I wouldn't expect him to (or any other human for that matter) since tryin' to talk down a deer is just 'bout the stupidest thing he can do. **

**My terrorizin' act is drawn to a grinding halt as blue eyes harden and a grin stretches across his sharp chiseled face. **

**The stare down in the forest has begun. **

**But it's not as epic as I'm makin' it sound-only lastin' a total of six minutes. **

**And then there is slight movement (**_its directly in my blind spot (don't like to admit to havin' any weaknesses but I figure if I'm gonna tell my tale I might as well tell all of it-like all creatures big and small I have my flaws)_

**I don't know what to expect but I ready myself for whatever the blunet has up his-wait he's not wearin' sleeves-no but he is wearin' pants and now he's fishin' round in the pocket for somethin'.**

**A moment-no less than half a second later a haunting, hollow sounding voice echoes through the air.**

_Even if my voice dies out_

_I will sing everywhere_

_And my song will be echoed here_

_The troubled night is buzzing_

_In my ears_

_I will continue running after_

_My uncertain future_

_But my hands only close in again (1)_

**It's an interestin' enough soundin' song but I'm not sure what Big and Blue is tryin' to tell or show me by playin' it. Could it be some sort of trick? A distraction? A sleepin' track-his bright blue gaze has not left my gold one.**

**()**

**(ICHIGO)**

Shinji snorted after I told him and Nnoitra about what happened between Grimmjow and I.

"**Well I think you're both idiots fer letting something like that come between you."**

While my blond-headed friend was technically right I felt like he was missing the bigger picture. My best friend was ignoring me and it was making me miserable. "**Yeah but-**

"**Yeah but nothin' I swear ya are worse than a pet chihuahua Ichi-constantly yap yappin' about dumb ass shit!" **Nnoitra knocked over the chair I was currently occupying with his boot and then sneered down at me.

His tone took on a mocking sort of lilt. "**I feel this, I feel that. Look even if you got no actual hair on your chin and ya ass is smaller than a chicks you're still a guy and as a guy you need to let it go Ichigo."**

But how? How could I let go? How could I move on? These were the kind of questions I wanted to ask Shinji and Nnoitra but I just didn't know how.

"**Nnoi's nailed it! Fuck yer feelings Ichigo and just enjoy the sex the way a man is meant to enjoy it." **Shinji dropped to the floor and got with in inches of my face, "**Next time you need help scratchin' an inch, come knock on our door instead."**

While it wasn't exactly the worse suggestion I'd ever heard I had a hunch that it would only create more problems for me.

"**Thanks but no thanks."**

A shrug "**Well then Ichigo there's not much else we can tell ya outside of it'll blow over."**

I looked from Nnoitra to Shinji and then back again and tried to keep the hopeful sound out of my voice, "**You really think so?"**

Twin grins stretched across their faces. "**We don't think Ichi we know."**

I hope they were right. I really hoped they were right.

"**Nuff about that,"** Shinji stood back up and stretched **"We came to this lodge to do some skiing and yet none of us have actually done any."**

"**Oh yeah and whose fault is that? I've been up since 8 in the mornin' and was all set to go out but you decided you'd rather laze 'round in bed for another damn hour and then you had to waste even more time plucking your brows and puttin' that smelly vegetable shit on your face." **

"**Hey! You know my morning ritual is necessary so I can stay young and virile looking. I mean unlike you guys I'm only 7 years away from 30."**

"**I don't give two flyin' fucks about yer age and ya know it! Sides in another couple years I'll probably have a receding hairline and will need to purchase that Rogaine shit they always advertise on the television."**

"**You'd still be a hot bitch with out hair!"**

"**The only bitch is **_**you**_** and ya can bet I'll still be fucking ya pretty blond ass even when I'm at death's door."**

It was a lovers tiff-banter type thing. That's right I said _lovers._

My friends were weird. I wasn't even sure how Nnoitra and Shinji's relationship started-sometimes it seemed like the two of them have been together forever but then again I've only known Nnoitra for like 4 years so-there was no real way of telling.

In fact most people outside of our small circle of friends wouldn't even know that they were a couple-probably because Shinji and Nnoi spent more time insulting each other than sucking face. Then again maybe it was their version of foreplay.

I didn't know and didn't ask. Just watched the two of them wrestle the other man to the ground and claw each other's clothes off.

()()

(SHIRO)

**And just as the song bleeds into the next verse the blunet's mouth moves and he speaks.**

"So this is it, huh?"

**His voice is low and much smoother than his physical countenance led me to believe and I wonder why this is. After a momentary pause he continues but now I'm not really sure if he's talkin' to me or talkin' to himself. His blue eyes grow dim.**

"I finally give into my best friends pleas/demands, fuck him senseless, conclude he's the single best ass I've ever had, realize I might just be as pathetically head over heels for him as he is for me-if not more so. Then instead of facing my feelings like a real man I treat him like shit not even 24 hours later and run off like a scared lil' bitch and now I'm about to get trampled by a motherfuckin' white reindeer of all things!"

**The human looks down at his hand and clenches his fist tightly. I eye him warily thinkin' perhaps Big Blue Paws** ('cuz yeah his hands are big enough to rival a panthers paw) **might be missin' a few screws. (2)**

**After a beat he starts up again but now it just sounds a lot like ramblin'**

"To think that blind gypsy actually got it right, bastard warned me-said if I didn't watch it judgment day would come upon me much sooner than I'd expect."

A humorless snort, "Guess this is what I get for breezin' through life with a giant chip on my shoulder-actin' like I ain't got a care in the world and hurting the only person whose ever meant anything to me-thinking its fine so long as I lay down some ground rules-thinking once the lust wears off he'll settle down and realize that there will never be an _"US"_ because I'm fucked up and he could do better.

The day will come when he walks away from me and I got no one to blame but myself. I'll grin and say _**"I'm happy for you Ichigo"**_ when all I'll really wanna do is kill the stand in that he's chosen to replace me-time will tick, tick, tick on by and then one night I'll just lose it, break into their love nest, sneak up the staircase and kill em' both. Then when I'm on death row and my world is filled with nothing but iron bars and orange jump suits I'll think of my best friend-his bright orange hair and his iron will."

**He chuckled bitterly and shook his head just then, **"Ah who the fuck am I trying to kid? I'm not even deserving of a proper death-they'll be no bright white light at the end of the shitty tunnel. No divine maker to greet me at the pearly gates."

**The blunet blew a rebellious bang out of his eyes and curled his lip into a half snarl/sneer (but it lacked edge, intensity-fire!) **

"The only thing that awaits me is a sparkling white reindeer with freaky eyes!"

**My pierced brow twitched. What the fuck was this? How the hell was I supposed to respond to this confession or whatever the hell it was?!**

**Big and Blue slid down to the forest ground and closed his eyes (apparently welcoming death) and I felt pissed all over again.**

**But this time for an entirely different reason. I mean did this bastard have some unseen on and off switch or somethin'? **

**Was this really the same arrogant guy who had looked me dead in the eye and grinned like a demonic feline in Wonderland just bare minutes ago? **

**Is this really the same guy who had just issued an unspoken challenge? Had I just dreamt up the whole thing?**

**The rush of excitement that I felt flowin' through my veins-had that just been my overactive imagination gettin' the better or me?**

**Had I actually considered acknowledgin' this big lug as a rival worthy of my Santa-Ichi's love? **

**Yeah, I had. Fact I'd been all set to shift into my human form and declare "Game on" **

**But no the damn fool had to go and ruin everythin' when he decided to have some kind of big emotional break down and convinced himself that I was the mighty **_**Reindeer of Death or whatever.**_

**Heh, that's actually kinda catchy. Might be a title to consider usin' when Hollow's Eve rolls 'round next year.**

**()**

**I gave the blunet a chance to redeem himself-get outta his lil' funk. But to my extreme irritation the sound of snorin' reached my ears. I blinked in confusion and then narrowed my eyes at the slumped form before finally turnin' away in disgust.**

**()**

**Decidin' to refocus my attention on what really mattered I shifted into my human form and made my way towards Santa-Ichi's cabin.**

**()**

**I knocked on the cabin's main door thinkin' it would best to show some manners rather than just bargin' on in.**

**I listened for the sound of voices or the turn of the knob but neither came so I figured fuck it! And kicked the door open. **

**No one screamed in horror or tried to put a bullet between my eyes so I figured my Santa and his crew were either sleepin' in or out on the slopes. **

**A faux bearskin rug was draped over 2 loveseats and the small couch. Three coffee mugs sat untouched on the coffee table inside the little lounge area. The fireplace was on and soft holiday music came through the small speaker above the mantle but the room was empty. **

**Seems I just missed my Santa-Ichi and his friends. Now I had to decide if I should wait 'round for his return or go lookin' for him on the slopes.**

**Decisions. Decisions. Nah not really I'd done enough waitin'. It was time to make good on my promise and woo my Santa.**

**()**

**Ichi was easy to spot because no one else was wearin' a black hip hugging full body suit with a strawberry-orange colored hat, scarf, matching gloves and leg warmers. **

**I could clearly make out every fine muscle on Ichi's body which I cannot stress 'nough is simply **_**perfect.**_** Even from a far away distance (thanks to my supernatural powers) I can tell by the way the lines in his face are curlin' that my Santa is enjoyin' himself-havin' a good ass time with the tall and widely grinnin' duo.**

**Neither male is attractive in the traditional sense. The dark haired male's look is just on the edge of alien meets insect. And the light-haired male's bone structure reminds me of an elf dancin' round on the moon. But there's somethin' unmistakably attractive 'bout both of em'**

**For the blond it's his eyes-there is a sly, suggestive and down right naughtiness in his hazel gaze and as for the other one with soot-black colored hair its in his stance-the way he carries himself, its more than sheer confidence, undeniable power and control and-wait! **

**I know what ya are all thinkin'-what ya gonna say so don't even bother 'cuz ya see as a member of the supes its natural get a bit sidetracked at the sight of such pure dominance.**

**Gotta give humans credit where credit is do. **

**()**

**(ICHIGO)**

"**So anyway after all that happened with Grimmjow I forgot to tell you guys about what happened to me in the forest last night."**

Nnoitra and Shinji turned to me, raising their brows in question.

The three of us had decided to take a short break from skiing so we could warm up and rest our bodies before taking on the highest hill at the top of Gotei-13,000 feet in the air was no easy task.

"**I met this guy in the forest."**

"**You met a guy out in the forest-ooooh naughty, naughty our lil' Ichi was two-timing-no wonder Grimm bristled and hissed like an angry alley cat."**

"**Heh, that certainly explains everything."**

I glared at the pair of them. **"What? NO! No it wasn't like that at all."**

"**Sure, sure Ichi whatever you say." **Shinji grinned into his hot cocoa and took a few sips and Nnoitra leaned over and licked whip cream off his face.

Then they started inhaling each other's faces. I looked away deciding I'd seen more than enough frisking, fondling and spit swapping for one day.

I sighed and stared off into space while I nursed my own hot cocoa.

I couldn't help it I was still missing my best friend. I was beginning to hate myself.

'_If only I had just left well enough alone he'd be here and we could be out snowboardin' right now.'_

_()_

_(SHIRO)_

**I found my Santa-Ichi inside a small pub with his head resting on the table. It was sort of a pitiful sight. **

**His companions were too wrapped up in their own world that they didn't even try to comfort or console him. I concluded Ichi kinda had a shitty bunch of friends. **

**All of em' so completely selfish**_. _

_**Ah well on the bright side ('cuz everythin' has a bright side) it meant I would have my Santa-Ichi all to myself…stealing him away would be easier than snappin' my fingers. **_

_**Grinnin' widely I zipped on over to Ichi greetin' him much in the same fashion I had on our first encounter.**_

"Hi-yo!"

**And just like the first time Ichi was startled and blushing all prettily.**

"_Gah!"_ **He nearly fell out of his chair.** "Shiro?! What are you doing here?"

_**It was a reasonable question. After all I told Ichi I'd be comin' for him on the 25**__**th **__**but it was not the 25**__**th**__**.**_

"Never mind that, follow me Ichi, I need to show ya somethin'."

_()()_

_(ICHIGO)_

He needed to show me something? What did the albino shape shifting reindeer wish to show me? I eyed Shiro warily.

"**What do you want to show me?"**

He shook his head and then leaned in and brushed our noses together (it was kind of weird but kind of cute too in away) and then he winked at me and lifted me into his arms.

"**He-hey what the put me down!**

I did my best to protest and still maintain some of my masculinity but it was hard to be manly when I was waving my arms widely and shouting and all-

" **I said put me down you idiot! Everyone is watching us!"**

Not exactly true. Everyone inside the pub was more interested in the food or their companions. Still…it was humiliating being lifted up like some princess in a fairy tale or something_._

I started pounding at Shiro's pale chest (guess the cold weather didn't effect him) but he only giggled and brushed our noses together a second time before whisking me out the door of the pub.

No one called after me. I doubt Shinji and Nnoitra even looked up once. The bastards!

**()**

**(SHIRO)**

**Sometimes things just don't go the way ya plan and so ya just gotta wing it! Such as the case with my Santa-Ichi and me. After he tiered himself out from yellin' at me to put him down I brought him to one of my favorite parts on the mountainside.**

**I thought it would be the ideal opportunity to show Ichi what I looked like in my other form and maybe if he was good I'd let him climb up for a ride. I didn't much fancy the idea of carrying stuff on my back but Ichi was special so it was somethin' to consider. **

**First I had to wipe the scowl off his face though. **

"Cheer up Ichi, you're with me now so forget all 'bout ya worries and-

"I'm not in the mood to be your source of entertainment or whatever. So just get on with what ever it is you wanted to show me so I can get back to drowning my sorrows in cocoa."

**Ichi was pouting and while I found it cute it also bothered me 'specially since I knew the reason for his attitude-still I didn't appreciate bein' talked to in such a cold way-as though I were nothin' more than a nuisance or an eyesore.**

"Heh ya are bein' very unfair to me right now, Ichi."

**Ichi snorted and practically spat out a bitter, **"Life is unfair, get over it!"

**I narrowed my golden eyes at my Santa to be and put my super-speed to good use and sealed my mouth over his. It was warmer than I expected-sweeter too and I wanted more-would have more but not until I got Ichi to brighten up.**

**It was a nice day outside and yet Ichi's depressive state made it seem like the heavens were cryin'-that term 'black clouds hoverin' over head' applied to my Santa. I needed to do somethin' to pull him out of his funk.**

**Unfortunately all thoughts that sprung to my mind were of the skin slappin' against skin variety-and while that wasn't a bad idea (quite the opposite) since I might be able to get my Santa to temporarily forget his pain while he was high on bliss in the end when it wore off he'd still feel empty and numb inside and that would not sit well with me at all.**

**So all thoughts of seducin' my Ichi were put on pause. My Santa didn't need a reindeer to sex him up right now. He needed a friend. I'd be Ichi's friend.**

"I just thought ya could use a change of scenery**," I looked off into the distance and just start talkin' to him 'bout everything and nothing. **"I like to come up here to think about things-ya know sometimes its just good to appreciate the simple things in life."

**Ichi looked up at me from beneath his orange lashes, his voice a bit hoarse (was his own damn fault from yellin' so much) **"Have you ever thought about jumping?"

**Jumping? I had a feeling my Santa wasn't talking about bungee jumping but somethin' much darker-a rather depressin' topic for the holiday season.**

**I ached for Ichi, really I did but I also kind of wanted to slap the shit out of him just then. Was he really hintin' at wanting to end his life? All this just cuz' of his dick best friend?**

"I wouldn't actually go through with it though, it would be an insult to everything my mother has taught me."

**My Santa let out a sigh and sat down-completely unfazed by the ice and the snow. **"Sometimes I wish I couldn't feel at all."** Then Ichi craned his neck in my direction, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his peach-frosted lips. **"I don't suppose you can make it so I can't feel anymore, can you Shiro?"

**I shook my head and moved to stand behind Ichi and said. **"I'm not a genie Ichi."

"Yeah I know but I just thought oh never mind-,"** he released another sigh and fell silent. I frowned and cursed the stupid blunet that was the cause for my Santa's pain.**

'_I shoulda just skewered his ass after all!'_

**Ichi fell back into the snow just then. I didn't know if he was planning to take a nap or what-either way I didn't want him to use a stupid mountain as his pillow when I'd be much more comfortable and convenient for him to rest on. **

**So I dropped down to my knees and cradled Ichi's head in my lap.** "Just 'cuz I can't make your emotions disappear don't mean I can't help ya."

"No one can help me. It's hopeless."

**I didn't like Ichi's self-depreciating attitude one damn bit. **

**I pushed aside his fuzzy hat and wound my black painted fingernails through his spiky orange locks and pulled. **

**Ichi didn't even wince in pain-even though it probably shouldn't it kinda made me proud. **

"Idiot! It's not hopeless. Just 'cuz ya got fucked over by your best-friend that don't mean real love is outta reach. Told ya before didn't I Ichi that us meetin' each other is destiny."

"I don't believe in things like destiny and wait a minute how do you know-?"** Ichigo furrowed his orange brows **"Can shape shifters read minds or something?"

"Yeah something like that."

**What? Don't give me that look its not like I was trying to outright lie to my Santa-Ichi I just didn't feel like tellin' that I saw him last night.**

"Anyway ya don't have to believe in things like destiny. Ya don't have to believe in anythin' cept me o' course!"** I grinned widely at my Santa.**

**Ichi smiled up at me and breathed out, **

"I'm starting to think you're just some figment of my overly active imagination. I'm so pathetically lonely that I conjured up a powdered version of myself. Only you've got glossier hair and better nipples."

**Better nipples? Well that was-a compliment I guess but kind of an out of the box one still… I'd take what I could 'specially since the words had come straight from my Santa-Ichi.**

"Um okay."

"Seriously its like no matter how I look at em' your nipples are just well-their the way a guy's nipples should be. They don't wave hello when you wear skin-tight tees-they don't harden like little rubies from a cold blast of wind."

**What a strange thing to say. Did my Santa have nipple fetish?**

"And your hair,"** he continued with a dreamy sort of sigh, **"I bet you can do all kinds of things with your long flowing mane right?"

"First my nipples and now my hair? Ichi what exactly are you tryin' to tell me. I mean if ya like it that much reach out and _touch_ me."

**What? I was just givin' him a friendly invitation nothin' more.**

**Ichi looked adorably confused at my words but reached out a hand and touched me.**

**I was tryin' to be understandin'-tryin' to be his friend but it was kinda hard not to react since I mean I can't help feelin' the way I feel. **

'**Sides its not like I forced Ichi to touch me-fact I let him do his explorin' while he babbled about 'bout that blue-headed bastard.**

"He's got a nice chest too. It's wide and more muscular than yours and mine-a pretty color too. Lucky bastard could probably sit out in the sun and roast for hours without actually burning or tanning-well he does have some what of a tan but its natural."

**Decidin' I really didn't wish to hear Ichi go on and on 'bout the love of his life I redirected his attention so that he was solely focused on me and only me.**

"I've thought 'bout getting' my nipples pieced but I'm not sure that would look right when I'm in my reindeer form."

**Ichi looked at me with pure bafflement for a few minutes and when it finally sunk in he burst out into laughter.**

"Yeah I suppose a reindeer with pierced nipples would be kind of strange. Wait! Do reindeer even have nipples?"

**It was a strange question. A strange conversation. Not romantic in the least. **

"On second thought…let's talk about something else."

"How 'bout we just save the talkin' for later and get to know each other better?"

**Don't give me that look! Of course I was layin' on the charm. Told ya before didn't I? I don't have the world's greatest patience. I wasn't gonna waste precious time.**

**I didn't give Ichi a chance to accept or refuse 'stead I just leaned in and captured his lips again-not carin' if my neck grew a bit stiff in the odd position because my Santa-Ichi was kissin' me back-shiftin' his body upwards and trying to get better access to my mouth-twirling his fingers in my long white mane.**

**()**

**I ripped Ichi's skii suit off of his body with my supernatural strength. Ha! Betcha though I was gonna say claw huh? **

**Well ya thought wrong I'm a deer not a wolf and anyway Ichi was too caught up in the heat of the moment to protest. I'd never get 'nough of Ichi-seein' his hot little body was even better in the afternoon sunlight than it had been in the moonlight. It was so smooth and pretty and not even the sight of teeth mark indentations tainted the perfect vision that was my Santa.**

**I completely disagreed with Ichi on the nipple thing though. His peach-caramel nubs were plenty masculine or at least boyish-they didn't slap me in the face like a chicks tits would so honestly I don't know what Ichi had been talkin' about. **

**I brushed the pad of my thumb against one of his nipples and delighted in the soft moan that slipped past his lips. Ichi's eyes were shut and he was gnawing on his bottom lip but some things just couldn't be silenced.**

**His cheeks were flushed and it was quickly spreading to his ears, neck and chest. 'Course I had to brush my finger against the nub again and again. Just as I had to press my lips to each nipple-lick and suck and nibble on em'-a delicious snack my Santa was. **

**I had to leave my own stamp-biting him hard enough to bruise and yes sometimes even break the skin. A lil' bit of pain can be a good thing ya know? **

**Ichi had no objections to this either-rather he seemed to enjoy it and responded in kind by gnawing at my collarbone and clawing up my back with his blunt fingernails.**

**Miraculously (wonders never cease-heh I surprise my self at times) my hands hadn't once ventured lower than Ichi's waistline. **

**Don't get me wrong I was still gunnin' for it-just not yet.**

**()**

**(ICHIGO)**

Was it lust or was it my desire to forget that prompted, inspired and encouraged me to take things further with Shiro?

Mirroring the shifter's earlier actions I ripped off his pants and drank in his creamy soft and powder white skin.

Marveled at his unearthly beauty and ran my fingers along his strong and powerful thighs. I bet Shiro was a hell of a runner.

A moment after the thought occurred I wanted to slap myself. Of course he's a hell of a runner-he's a damn reindeer you idiot!

My skin itched and my body flushed in the most delightful of ways. The bulge in Shiro's boxer briefs bobbed at me in greeting (perhaps that was a supernatural talent? Or maybe it was just a Shiro thing? Either way I felt the familiar feeling (practically a dead ringer to the previous night) come over me.

I couldn't wait to wrap my mouth around each and every delicious inch. Shiro was surprisingly very quiet but maybe that's because he felt words weren't really necessary at this point. His eyes never strayed away from mine once though and his fingers never stopped their light drumming along my spine.

A couple of times it seemed like Shiro wished to venture lower-especially with the wicked grin pulling at the corners of his painted mouth. I really loved Shiro's mouth-not just because it tasted like licorice or because of the amazing things he did with his tongue-it was just _everything_ about his mouth.

I know I know I'm probably not making a whole lot of sense right now but you can hardly blame me. This is what drunk on lust does to my brain. Deciding that there wasn't any point to drag things out any longer and that I should just take what I wanted I dove in.

Mirroring Shiro's grin I pulled at the waistband and then…promptly screamed in well…

I wouldn't say horror per se but I jumped a good distance away from the shape shifter and pointed an accusing finger at him-at _it!_

"**Wh-What the hell is-why the hell is the tip of your dick glowing?!"**

I wracked my brain recalling the previous night when Shiro approached me. I'd done my best not to let my eyes drift but I am but a human-a guy-a teenager and I'm pretty damn sure my eyes did drift below his waistline at one point so I would have remembered-_that!_

Don't get me wrong there was nothing from with Shiro's penis because it was a lot like mine-maybe a half inch longer and powder white in color but perfectly normal. Except not quite because like I said it was glowing-glowing like a freaking light bulb.

You can hardly blame me for being a bit weirded out. I mean only alien's should have glowing phallic parts right?

Shiro's pierced brow twitched and I felt a little guilty because my reaction hadn't exactly been welcoming but again I say it's glowing-GLOWING bright freaking red like a siren on a fire truck or Rudolph's red-oh no don't tell me! Don't tell me! Really? Really?! Was this really my life?

To be hopelessly in love with my best friend and seriously about to consider getting all hot and heavy with a shape shifting reindeer with a glowing penis?

I managed to calm myself and ask Shiro,** "Is it um…alive?"**

Shiro looked at me like I was the single biggest dumb ass he'd ever met and then pulled his boxer-briefs down the rest of the way and tugged his length affectionately.

"**Everythin' bout' me is alive Ichi and yeah my hose glows but this is a good thing."**

I quirked a brow,** "A good thing?"**

"**Think of it like the ultimate sex toy and the condom of the future rolled up in one."**

"**Meaning?" **I was curious and equally horrified at what Shiro might tell me next. He grinned widely and stalked towards me.

"**Meanin' multiple orgasms, intense pleasure and one hundred percent protection from all those nasty things human's gotta deal with. In short I'm the best thing ya could ever ask for Ichi!"**

Not to be rude but**- "I didn't ask for you."**

Shiro's brow twitched again and for a second I thought he might hit me. But he only closed the last inch of space between us, grabbed hold of my hand and placed it on his glowing cock. It felt normal enough not that I was an expert or anything but-

"**That's it Ichi, pet it just like you would pet a kitten."**

Kind of a weird thing to say but oddly it worked. Ignoring the fact that Shiro's hot rod was still glowing red between my palm I stroked the shape shifter the way I thought he might like. When all else failed I let my instincts guide me.

Shiro rested his head on my shoulder while I pumped him and not to be out done he grabbed me through my bright orange briefs and tugged my manhood-it was gentletugging though.I sensed this was Shiro's way to be affectionate. Again maybe that is just the lust talking.

**()()**

**(GRIMMJOW)**

_After I spent the morning and a good chunk of the afternoon feeling sorry for myself I decided to get on with my life and dragged myself to the pub where I was sure I'd find my best friend. _

_Unfortunately for me I had no such luck-the only ones waiting inside the pub of the lodge were my buddies Shinji and Nnoitra. _

_Well I use the "buddy" term really lightly since most of the time the two of them irritated the living shit out of me._

"_Heh, look what the cat dragged in, bout' time you decided to show yer face. Where you been hidin' all morning?"_

_I ignored Shinji's inquiries and demanded, "Never mind that. Where's Ichigo?_

_When Shinji said nothing, I turned to Nnoitra demanding an answer from him._

_Nnoitra shrugged, "He's round here somewhere. Come sit. Have some cheese nips."_

_I didn't want any cheese nips. I just wanted to talk to Ichigo. Needed to talk to Ichigo. Apologize for acting like a total douche wad and then sit him down and try to figure out how to turn our rocky friendship into something more._

_I pulled out a chair and sat down figuring maybe Ichigo was in the bathroom or something. _

_()_

_When a half hour ticked by I realized I'd only been fooling myself. Wherever my best friend was it wasn't the pub. I glared at Shinji and Nnoitra. "Alright cut the bullshit where the hell is Ichigo? We got things to discuss."_

"_Hmm? Things to discuss," Shinji rubbed his chin thoughtfully and leaned across the table, a shit eating grin making its way on to his elfish face, "Do tell."_

_I pushed my hand against his face not appreciating how close he'd gotten and snarled, "None of your fuckin' business, just tell me where Ichigo is."_

"_Where is Ichigo? That is a good question, any ideas where our berry boy toy is hiding out Nnoitra?"_

"_Nope. Not a clue." Another careless shrug, "But there was a hot lil' albino wanderin the pub earlier, maybe he knows where Ichi is."_

_Hot albino? What hot albino? Why the fuck would my best friend be getting mixed up with some powdered freak?_

_I grabbed Nnoitra by the collar of his shirt and hissed, "What the fuck you talking 'bout Gilga and don't you dare lie to me!"_

_Nnoitra calmly (too fucking calmly) pried my hand away from his collar and sneered, "Don't know the facts or anything but seems to me Ichi has found someone else to warm his bed…someone who quite obviously ain't __you__ puss."_

_Fucker! I'd smash a bottle over his head if I had the time but I didn't have the time. I had to find out where Ichigo was and fast! So instead I just grabbed the bottle and smashed it on the table and roared in Nnoitra's face. _

"_YOU FUCKING SON OF BITCH! ENOUGH WITH THE BULLSHIT! WHERE THE HELL IS ICHIGO?!"_

_Not that he cared-fucker didn't even bat a lash-rather he seemed bored._

_It took a minute Okay it took 3 but in the end Shinji took pity on me. _

"_It's like Nnoitra was tryin' to tell you Grimm, Ichi ran off with a hot lil' bino awhile ago. We never caught the guys' name 'cuz we were a bit preoccupied but Ichi is prob'ly with im."_

_I gnawed on the inside of my cheek, swiped a half drained cup of coffee off one of the other tables downed it and then sat back down and demanded to know more._

"_What did he look like?"_

_I wasn't ignorant enough to think all albinos looked a like._

"_What did he look like? That's a good question-hon'stly me and Shin didn't get that good of a look. He was hot though so really I can't blame Ichi for running off with him."_

_Fucking Nnoitra! Just had to rub it in! Again I would totally fuck his face up if I had the time and wasn't determined to track down my best friend. I turned to Shinji hoping he'd have something else to add._

_He yawned and snapped his fingers in order to get the waiter's attention before continuing, "It was kinda weird actually more that I think about it-he coulda easily been Ichigo's long lost brother or something."_

_Long lost brother? Ichigo didn't have any brothers. He had 2 sisters and several cousins. Well whatever…it didn't matter. _

"_Is that all?"_

_Another yawn "What else you' need to know?"_

_I sighed not really knowing the answer myself. This was pathetic I suddenly felt very tiered even though I'd slept in the forest for a good hour or so. _

_The forest! That reminds me!_

**()()**

**(SHIRO)**

**Once my Santa-Ichi got over the initial awesome shock that I glowed below the belt he really went to town-leaving no inch of my cock left untouched. **

**Eager to please-determined to make me lose any sense of control I might have had on our current situation.**

**Heh, situation was a real**_** light**_** way to put it. Supernatural bein' or not I couldn't stay standin' in the same position forever-or rather it would be more accurate to say I didn't want ta stay in the same position.**

**Okay truth? Yeah my Santa was that good with his hands and mouth. Good enough to make my knees collapse out from underneath me-course bein' the naughty and oh so competitive bino shifter I am I upped my own tempo and quickly brought Ichi down to a similar state. He was too damn delicious as he came undone-ropes of both our sticky cum mixing together.**

**If this couldn't be considered somethin' grand I don't know what could.**

**And then all of a sudden out of freakin' no where to my great horror and confusion my Santa-Ichi started to cry and cling to me. Well the clingin' was somethin' I was thoroughly enjoyin' but the tears streamin' down his face-? Yeah that not so much. The sight made my heart clench.**

**What else could I do at this point but hold him and kiss away his tears?**

"I'm sorry I-I don't normally (_sniff sniff)_ get all emotional like this, it's just I feel-I-I don't want to say I feel confused since I enjoyed all of that just now but I-

"Shhh! I already know Ichi, ya got it bad for your bff and while it don't make me too happy I'm confident I can make ya forget 'bout him."

**Ichi shook his head and continued to sob, **"I don't-I don't want you to think you're j-just some rebound guy. I actually really like you even though I barely know you."

**I pressed my finger over Ichi's mouth and shook my head. "**No explanations are needed Ichi. I know ya think I'm a sexy bitch so ya just calm ya lil' berry head down and I'll take ya to paradise."

"Why would you-I don't-

"Shh! Ichi it don't make no damn difference ta me if ya are in love with ya bestie. Ya are still the only Santa for me and in time ya will see I'm the only reindeer for you."

**Ichi looked adorably confused as he said. "**But you are the only reindeer Shiro."

"Wrong Ichi! I'm not just a reindeer I'm 'bout to become ya reindeer." **And with these words I scooped up the small white puddle we'd made and pushed my Santa back in the snow and spread the sticky white substance over his body like I was decoratin' a cake. It was a good look. **

**A real good look and I wanted to see more. So wastin' no time I grabbed hold of Ichi's spent cock and reawakened it.**

**Didn't take long-sobbin' emotional mess and all Ichi was always ready for me. His broken cries and high-pitched moans sounded far more heavenly than an angelic choir.**

**()()**

**(GRIMMJOW)**

"_I'm telling you guys there was a fucking white reindeer out in the forest with glittering silver white antlers and these freaky gold-black eyes. I thought I'd be trampled to death but he ran off."_

"_Grimm even if there was a deer out in the forest today there's no way it was white."_

"_Yeah dumb ass we're in the mountains of Gotei."_

"_Look I don't give a shit what you guys think it was a sign."_

"_A sign? What kind of sign Grimm?"_

_I shook my head. "Never mind look I've wasted enough time with you bastards I need to get up and find Ichigo."_

"_Yeah…yeah that would pro'bly be a good idea."_

"_Yeah let us know how that goes."_

_Sending Nnoitra and Shinji the worldwide "fuck you" sign I left the pub and set off to find Ichigo. _

_The sun would set soon so even if he was up in the mountains getting cozy with some slutty albino-I decided not to finish my thought and quickened my pace._

**()**

**(SHIRO)**

"Are ya ready for me Ichi?"

**At this stage I was only askin' cuz I was trying to be romantic but honestly both me and my glowing hose were growin' rather impatient. I finished paintin' my Santa's body with cum and Ichi loved every second of it. **

**I could tell he did. I loved it too. It was just another sure sign that Ichi and I were meant ta be.**

**Twirling my tongue around his navel and then tugging lightly at tight skin of his sexy tummy with my teeth I hoisted one of Ichi's well-muscled legs over my shoulder and teased his tight hole with the tip of my glowing cock-nudging and sliding but not actually enterin' my Santa. **

**Not yet anyway.**

**Ichi snarled and pulled at my long white-blond locks demandin' that I either hurry the hell up and get on with it or kiss him again. **

**I grinned. I didn't intend to make Ichi wait forever but I wasn't gonna listen to his demands either. I did things at my own pace. He'd soon learn this.**

"Ya got me confused with Big Blue Ichi. Ya see no matter how ya beg for it I'm not gonna move 'til I feel like it."

**Ichi glared (clearly not liking what I was tellin' him) and tugged on my hair so fiercely it was a damn miracle he hadn't pulled out a chunk or two.**

**Turned on even more I sunk my teeth right into Ichi's shoulder and drew blood. Ichi responded my ripping into my back with his nails. **

**()**

**Grindin' and kissin' ensued and in between our tongue war I asked him, "**So watcha think Ichi should we-?

**Not even lettin' me finish my question Ichi answered, **"Yes! Now damn you! Now!"** between short and harsh breaths and lips stained a pretty crimson color. Eyes heavily glazed with lust and cum spurtin' out of his hot bod like a lawn sprinkler it was obvious my Santa was about to lose it.**

**I tried…believe me I tried but I could no longer deny him. Lappin' at some of the droplets I lifted Ichi's leg even higher and entered him in one sharp thrust.**

**Forgive the clichés but it really truly did feel like coming home. I sprayed Ichi's hot anal walls with my cum and began to piston in and out of him with bruisin' force and to my grander delight Ichi was lovin' it. Wanted more. Needed more! **

**Bits of drool were formin' at the corner of his split peach mouth and on any one else it woulda been a major turn off but with Ichi-hell he could probably sneeze and I'd still want to split him in two with my glowing rod. **

**I lapped at his face with my tongue-resembling the true animal I was, adjusted the angle just a fraction burying myself even deeper inside his tight heat and coatin' his walls a second time.**

**Ichi was every bit as vocal as I thought he'd be. Just as he'd been the previous night with the Big Blue Lug (only more-much much more!) and still I wanted more! So in my own lust-crazed state I reached for Ichi's cock and pumped it just as fiercely as I pounded his sweet hole.**

**And yes bein' the awesome reindeer-shifter I am I still had energy to talk.**

"So Ichi wanna see somethin' cool?"

**()**

**(GRIMMJOW)**

_It's always best to brace your self for the worst. I did my best to brace myself for whatever was up at the mountain top. _

_Unfortunately for me I quickly concluded that seeing one of my biggest fears become reality was far worse than anything my imagination had ever conjured up. _

_Honestly I don't know what pained me more-the fact that someone else-some albino fucker was fucking my best friend into the snow covered mountains or the fact that my said best friend was meeting each and every thrust with strangled wanton moans-the kind of moans that could make a porn star blush._

_Had Ichigo made these kinds of noises when I was with him? If he had then I'd either been so far gone in the land of bliss that I hadn't noticed or I had tuned him out because I'd been afraid of growing attached. Had my best friend reacted this way last night? I had a feeling he probably had._

_If I wasn't so hell bent on keeping my pride I would have dropped to my knees crawled over to my best friend and begged him to forgive me-asked him to give me another chance or at the very least let me join in on the hot action he and the freaky albino were having._

_Yeah I was actually considering making some kind of threesome proposal. How pathetic is that! _

_In the end though I stayed rooted in my spot no doubt looking like a fucking fool with my mouth hanging open like a blow fish and my dick straining against my pants completely ignoring the cold blasts of wind hitting my face and whipping at my back._

_I watched (as if some sort of fucking trance) as my best-friend shuddered and screamed and climaxed again and again and again. It seemed like Ichi and his freaky albino had an endless amount of cum-hell they could probably fill an entire king size tub there was so much of it._

_I rubbed myself through my jeans, gripping it hard enough that it hurt and then halted in my movements when suddenly-!_

WTF?

_Antlers! Yes bright sparkling silver-white antlers sprung up over the back of the albino's skull._

"**What the fuck?" **_This time I voiced it out loud._

_I blinked at the scene. Once. Twice. Three times. I thought maybe the sun was playing tricks on me or something. Or maybe I had caught a head cold and was becoming delusional or maybe-_

"**You've got to be shitting me."**

_But no it wasn't. I fell back on my ass in the snow. It wasn't my imagination. The freaky albino was transforming into a fucking reindeer! What were the odds tha__**t **__I would come across two white reindeer in the same day?_

_Not very high._

_A reindeer a white reindeer with sparkling antlers and glowing eyes was fucking my best friend into the ground. I should find the sight horrific. _

_I should be scrambling to get to my feet. I should be racing over to help Ichigo and yet I just watched in stunned disbelief-I couldn't tear my eyes away from the scene. Couldn't tune my ears out to the shouts of…_

"_**More…MORE!"**_

**()**

**(ICHIGO)**

I've always prided myself on trying anything at least once but being fucked by a shape shifting albino reindeer in his animal form? Yeah well…nothing could have properly prepared me for this.

Oddly enough Shiro's transformation hadn't slowed down the burning lust I felt for him even the slightest bit. Maybe it was because I watched the transformation as it was happening? Maybe it was because he gave me fair warning? Or maybe I was one kinky ass little bastard who has secretly been waiting for something like this-some one like Shiro to come along?

Whatever the reason it didn't matter.

Shiro was beautiful in his animal form as well. Especially his eyes-not to sound like a frou-frou poet but I could gaze into those eyes for the rest of my days and never get tiered of them. Well…once I actually made an effort to lift my lust-glazed drooping lids that is.

There was one thing that bothered me a bit though (but just a little bit)

**What the fuck did any of this have to do with me being his Santa Claus?**

**()**

**(SHIRO)**

**I sensed Big Blue long before his knees hit the ground. **

**And at first I thought all hell was gonna break loose-figured the bastard was gonna claw me away from my Santa-Ichi and start an all out brawl. Or if not a physical brawl than definitely a screamin' fest. **

**I'd half been expecting him to scream in my face, then in Ichi's and then in my face again before storming off in an angry huff.**

**I felt sparks of his poorly controlled rage and jealousy coupled with horny-lust-could hear his inner battle with himself as he weighed the pros and cons as to whether or not it would be a good idea to try to join in on the fun.**

**I almost felt sorry for the fucker 'til I remembered what he'd done to Ichigo. I didn't give a shit if he realized the error of his ways-came out of his denial-it was too late Ichi was mine.**

**He didn't deserve Ichi. **

**Still…he was hot in his own way.**

**Again I thought about givin' Big Blue a chance to prove himself-considered callin' him over-giving him what he and Ichi both wanted but that would only complicate things and let me tell ya somethin'… Shiro the Albino Reindeer don't do complicated.**

**()()**

**(ICHIGO)**

I should have felt guilty or ashamed when Shiro dropped me off at the cabin later that night but I really wasn't.

I smelled and looked like I'd been thoroughly fucked inside-out. My skin was littered with nail and bite marks and I was too lazy to put my clothes back on.

I walked right past Nnoitra and Shinji with a simple head nod and made me way towards the bedroom I was sharing with Grimmjow.

I figured I'd find my best in the same position I'd found him the previous night. I was wrong.

**()**

**Instead of finding my best friend-my first and last love (**_**Don't give me that look! I like Shiro I do-I might even grow to love him one day but I wasn't gonna lie to myself-Grimmjow still held the biggest piece of my heart and he always would.)**_** fast asleep in his bed I found him standing over by the window with a cigarette in his mouth and a coffee mug in hand. **

"Hey."

"…Hey."

"So uh about last night and this morning I uh-

"Forget it. I mean uh let's just-

"Don't tell me to just pretend Ichigo! Don't you dare tell me to just fucking pretend that-damn it! You see this why I didn't-this is-argghhh damn you!"

"Stop okay. Just stop blaming yourself or me or the universe. It isn't going to change things."

"But-

"Look Grimmjow this isn't a movie. My next line won't be something overly dramatic and painfully cheesy like 'You know I love you and I'll always love you but you were right 'us' together is an impossible dream and last night was a mistake. I should have never come on to you. I should have never asked you to hold me and because of my selfishness I've ruined our friendship so this is good bye or some such shit like that."

**Grimmjow smiled but it was weak and didn't quite reach the electric blue depths of his eyes.**

"You might not say those exact words but you're about to tell me something similar aren't you, Kurosaki?"

"I-** (there was no point in lying to my best friend. He saw right through me. "**Yeah pretty much."

**I was about to tell my best friend goodbye. Shiro convinced me it would be for the best. I had no big plans for my life. I could finish my college courses just about anywhere in the world so disappearing wasn't going to be all that difficult for me. Anyway before you start giving me the third degree or start threatening to point really pointy objects at me let me finish.**

**Grimmjow snorted humorlessly, "**Tch. Figures shoulda known it'd be too good to be true. Thinkin' maybe just maybe you'd just gone and fooled around with that guy to blow off some steam but you're actually smitten or something with that pale shifter aren't you?"

**Not exactly smitten but enchanted and charmed, yes I was. Still…how did my best friend-wait!**

"Did you-are you saying you saw me-him-us together?"

"Watched that golden-eyed demon bring you to cloud 9 and back, yeah Kurosaki that's exactly what I'm saying."

**I felt my face grow warm. I couldn't help it. For some reason finding out that my best friend had witnessed my ahem…not so little romp with Shiro was embarrassing as all hell. **

**A small bittersweet grin made its way onto Grimmjow's face. **"Yeah you really enjoyed yourself eh Kurosaki? Heh, who knew my lil' berry would turn into such a minx."

**I felt my face grow redder. **"Sh-Shut up! I'm not a minx I just uh-

"Like to be fucked 'til you can't see straight, yeah I know and I damn sure wish I'd been the one to give that to you."

**I scowled. Not liking it one damn bit that my best-friend was comparing our night together to my time with Shiro. It was…the comparison was stupid. Totally different situations and-**

"I-Grimmjow can you please just do me a favor and not turn this into a soap opera."

**Grimmjow narrowed his electric blue eyes and growled out, **"Is that your not so subtle way of accusing me of acting like a drama queen _Ichigo."_

**I shook my head fiercely. **"No! Hell no. I'm just saying I've shed all the tears I intend to shed and I'm not going to exhaust myself by doing it again. And neither should you."

"The fuck?! Now you're accusing me of being a cry baby? What the hell Ichigo?"

"Shut up you idiot! Stop putting words in my mouth. Whatever it doesn't matter whether or not you shed tears or punched trees it all amounts to the same damn thing."

"Yeah, yeah okay enough! If you're gonna break my heart, then hurry up and do it!"

**A dark shroud fell over my best friends face-he looked wounded-he looked like I really had just broken his heart.**

**Broke his heart? But how was it possible? And did his voice really crack just now? I shook my head deciding I'd think on it later-maybe ask Shiro his opinion. Now wasn't the time. I could not/would not get my hopes up! **

**I could not get sucked into his whatever…it was Grimmjow was suddenly feeling for me. I had to be strong. I had to be smart. I had to follow through with the plan. Saying goodbye and letting him go.**

**Mind made up I walked over to Grimmjow, grabbed his hand (the one that wasn't holding the coffee mug) and pressed it to my chest right over my heart and whispered, **

"This is goodbye but perhaps one day, some day we'll get another chance and you'll come to feel for me what I feel for you and when that happens, _**IF**_ it happens we'll get things right."

**He said nothing. I didn't think he would. I caressed his perfect chiseled cheek with the back of my hand and then I pulled away from my best friend.**

**I stood and waited an additional 10 long torturous minutes feeling like an idiot and an asshole thinking maybe just maybe Grimmjow would say something back but he didn't.**

**So with a heavy sigh I turned and left.**

**()**

**(SHIRO)**

_**Stories do not always have a happy endin'-at times stories end on a bittersweet sort of note. This was the case with my Santa-Ichi.**_

_**I met my Santa on the front steps of the main lodge, wiped the single tear from his flushed cheek and then carried him away into the dark night my glowing bob acting as our guiding light.**_

**()()**

END

**()()**

**AUTHORESS END NOTE**

**Snorts…enough with the cheesy poetry…LOL…sighs anway I usually vow to have happy endings and most of the time I keep this vow but sometimes…uber happy just doesn't fit the mold…nevertheless I'm pleased with the out come…for the most part. No there will not be a sequel. Sorry.**

**Ahem…that being said**

**For those of you that came back to read the conclusion I can not thank you enough for once again showing your support…**_**THANK YOU SO MUCH!**_

**AND to all other viewers/lurkers/followers thank you for stepping into my world!**

**~SLY~**

_ADDITIONAL NOTES:_

**()**

**1) Everyone who is familiar with BLEACH (the original version…not the craptastic dub) should be familiar with the music in the anime…the lyrics from this particular song is a loosely translated version of Universe ~ Echoes…but I (because I am SLY) am much more in love with the cover version by Suwabe Junichi (AKA Grimmjow's seiyuu) Anyway it's a wonderful song that really pulls at the heart strings and just gah….LOVE it!**

**2)**

**The human looks down at his hand and clenches his fist tightly. I eye him warily thinkin' perhaps Big Blue Paws** ('cuz yeah his hands are big enough to rival a panthers paw) **might be missin' a few screws. (2)**

**Because I can't resist making panther and cat references like all the time when I write Grimmjow or make mentions of his character. It's a fangirl thing…you don't like it? Shrugs, whatever.**

**()()**

**()**

**NEXT TIME: **_**MISTLETOE MADNESS**_

**(A GINJOxICHIGO FIC)**

'**What the hell is going on? First my maid, then my boss and now the delivery guy is kissing me…well actually on second thought being kissed by him isn't so bad.'**

**()()**

**HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE!**

**OH AND PS. I'm currently about 85 percent of the way done with writing a one-shot fic entitled (Lil' Mascot)…it should be posted in 4 or 5 days…you can find it in my Scattered Shots collection.**

**OKAY that's all…seriously shutting up now**

**LONG LIVE UKE!BERRIES!**

_**~SLY~**_


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